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Child Item

The Worst Holiday Story Ever!

DigiGal

My OHs parents were on Holidays at a music festival in Spain.

On the last night the group all went out for dinner in a nice resturaunt.
They were sitting in the courtyard having their meal when all of a sudden they see something falling, hear a big splat and are covered in something red!
They thought it was a watermelon as people had been throwing watermelons at each other earlier(I don't know why)

As my OHs dad got up to punch the head off the dope who covered him in watermelon he hears screaming and ses what it was that splattered alll over him......there is a guy who landed head first after jumping of the 20th floor of the building....

Yes he was covered in head juice and there is brains all over the table. A 90 year old man had thrown himself off the top of the building and the selfish ****er ruined their holiday!

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engrish?

DigiGal wrote: »

My OHs parents were on Holidays at a music festival in Spain.

On the last night the group all went out for dinner in a nice resturaunt.
They were sitting in the courtyard having their meal when all of a sudden they see something falling, hear a big splat and are covered in something red!
They thought it was a watermelon as people had been throwing watermelons at each other earlier(I don't know why)

As my OHs dad got up to punch the head off the dope who covered him in watermelon he hears screaming and ses what it was that splattered alll over him......there is a guy who landed head first after jumping of the 20th floor of the building....

Yes he was covered in head juice and there is brains all over the table. A 90 year old man had thrown himself off the top of the building and the selfish ****er ruined their holiday!

At least he went out with a bang. And a splat.

g5fd6ow0hseima

90 yr old man, 20 storey fall?

There's worse ways to go out in my opinion. And im not joking,

DigiGal

Cristiano Purple Vaccine wrote: »

90 yr old man, 20 storey fall?

There's worse ways to go out in my opinion. And im not joking,

Yeah he was going deaf and blind
The only thing which pisses me off is he could have killed someone below

Itsdacraic

DigiGal wrote: »

Yeah he was going deaf and blind
The only thing which pisses me off is he could have killed someone below

did he tell them that afterwards?

drunkymonkey

Wasn't the body attached to the head?

DigiGal

drunkymonkey wrote: »

Wasn't the body attached to the head?

am I missing the gag here

DigiGal

Itsdacraic wrote: »

did he tell them that afterwards?

awh silly.....dead people can't talk
The police told them...

Flying Abruptly

Cristiano Purple Vaccine wrote: »

90 yr old man, 20 storey fall?

DigiGal wrote: »

Yeah he was going deaf and blind

Any chance it was an accident?

drunkymonkey

What is with all the suicide threads on boards in the last couple of days!!??

drunkymonkey

DigiGal wrote: »

am I missing the gag here

No gag, just wouldn't they have noticed the difference between a watermelon falling and a whole body falling next to them!

Cookie_Monster

I went to Longford once.

/Thread

Biggins

:eek:

super_furry

So there was this couple on holiday called Jerry and Kate, and they had this daughter.....

DigiGal

drunkymonkey wrote: »

No gag, just wouldn't they have noticed the difference between a watermelon falling and a whole body falling next to them!

Na they only saw it from the corner of their eye....maybe he was small, or watermelons in Spain are really big
Or maybe they just didn't want to accept that they had been showered in head...denial and all that

DigiGal

super_furry wrote: »

So there was this couple on holiday called Jerry and Kate, and they had this daughter.....

and you kidnapped her.....

Case Closed..:D

MizzLolly

DigiGal wrote: »

A 90 year old man had thrown himself off the top of the building and the selfish ****er ruined their holiday!

Oh yeah. The poor man should have thought about ruining a couple of tourist's dinners during his hopeless state. I mean, even if you're feeling so f*cking worthless that you want to throw yourself off a building you should at least spare a thought for the tourists.

Won't somebody think of the tourists!???!!!!!!!!!!!!

mikom

Could have been worse........
.
.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbOsEmHzq1c

Long Onion

Flying Abruptly wrote: »

Any chance it was an accident?

It was a suicide but he pushed himself in the back to make it look like murder.

Relevant

MizzLolly wrote: »

Oh yeah. The poor man should have thought about ruining a couple of tourist's dinners during his hopeless state. I mean, even if you're feeling so f*cking worthless that you want to throw yourself off a building you should at least spare a thought for the tourists.

Won't somebody think of the tourists!???!!!!!!!!!!!!

What if he'd landed on someone?

ejmaztec

DigiGal wrote: »

Yeah he was going deaf and blind
The only thing which pisses me off is he could have killed someone below

Somebody probably told him to watch his step, but that doesn't always work, does it?:eek:

Executive Steve

Relevant wrote: »

What if he'd landed on someone?

AND WHO WAS PHONE?

Degsy

DigiGal wrote: »

and you kidnapped her.....

Case Closed..:D

No,the parents murdered her and dumped her.

mukki

worst holiday story.....

our idea of a holiday growing up was spending 4 days a year visiting OAP relations in i tiny little village that was from the 1800's,

i'd sit listening to dad talking to them about people who died 30 years ago,

or if i was lucky the story on how they found their watch that they lost 45 years ago, and it was in the drawer under the stairs all along

funny thing was we used to look forward too it, christ people are easily pleased when they are skint

me-skywalker

i heard from a friend of mine that his uncle's best friends son was on a camping trip in spain and they pushed a man off a roof because they thought it woudl be funny to see how many people he could splat!

ejmaztec

me-skywalker wrote: »

i heard from a friend of mine that his uncle's best friends son was on a camping trip in spain and they pushed a man off a roof because they thought it woudl be funny to see how many people he could splat!

I bet that he didn't go down too well.

Barry_Scott

Degsy wrote: »

No,the parents murdered her and dumped her.

Thats a bit harsh isnt it, could you not just say her parents "put her to sleep"!

Cookie_Monster

Barry_Scott wrote: »

Thats a bit harsh isnt it, could you not just say her parents "put her to sleep"!

With a hammer?

genericguy

Degsy wrote: »

No,the parents murdered her and dumped her.

and got to meet the pope, oprah, and pay their mortgage with the money given to search for her.

actually... this isn't a bad story at all. for them anyway.

komodosp

No gag, just wouldn't they have noticed the difference between a watermelon falling and a whole body falling next to them!

I'd say it's a case of all happening in an instant - they already know about the watermelons being thrown so it's a red splat, they shield themselves from the splat, instinctively stand up before hearing screaming and seeing, "Sh!t, there's a body attached to that watermelon!"

GLaDOS

This thread makes me want watermelon