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Drinking alone - a problem?

LegacyUser

I can drink a bottle of wine in one sitting on my own at home and just wondering if this is too much & whether it means that I have a drink problem? I dont do this every night obviously - just if I'm not out on a Friday or Saturday night. I justify it by thinking if I was out I'd have at least that much to drink but is that really a justification? They say drinking alone is bad but is it any worse than drinking socially? I know you're not getting the social interaction with other people but from a purely physical point of view, isnt it still the same amount of alcohol points going into your body? I'd hate to think I was turning into an alcoholic but I just enjoy a few drinks while I'm watching TV, especially on a Friday night after a week of work....any thoughts?

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JohnW2008

Grow a set of balls.If you wanna have a glass of wine on a Friday night, go ahead. Either be adult enough to decide for yourself whether you can handle an an intoxicating beverage on your own.Do not ask for advice of random ppl on the internet as regards spomething so specific to you. Either you have enough confidence to down a bottle of wine on your own or you do not...if you do not, and this amount of alcohol consumption bothers you, consult a doctor, who can properly advise as to the dangers re: your specific situation.

Otherwise, get on with it.

Silverfish

JohnW2008, please read the charter of this forum before posting.

People come here for advice, and not abuse.

Thanks.

Euro_Kraut

Hi OP,

I don't see an awful lot wrong with what you are doing. Having a few drinks on a Friday night is pretty commen. Its hard to gauge from here exactly what your situation is.

I have a couple of questions if you don't mind.

Do you suffer badly from a hangover on Saturday mornings? Does this affect your ability to do thing during the day?

Do you start on wine, finish the bottle than move to something stronger like vodka or whiskey? Do you ever not finish a bottle? Over how long a period do you drink the wine?

Sorry for all the questions - but it helps give a better understanding and maybe then posters here can be of more help. Hope your evening is going well.

Darlughda

Enjoy your bottle of wine without guilt or shame.
There is too much propaganda by certain interest groups that drinking alone is a bad thing. Not so.
If you are harming no one all good.
Enjoy your treat and the TV and don't pay attention to the nonsense that claims if you are not boozing in company its a problem.
Whats the worst that'll happen? You'll fall asleep in front of CSI?
Next time splash out on a v nice bottle of wine to make it special.

Steyr

If i dont go out on a Saturday night il stay in, have 2 or 3 Kopparberg Mixed Fruit, pop on Family Guy/US Office and finish them off then get a Domino's etc OP your doing nothing wrong at all, enjoy enjoy.

leeroybrown

I never really see the problem with having a few drinks while relaxing at home at the end of the week. I quite often have a few bottles of beer late in the evening, particularly during the good weather we've been having recently. I've got a couple of empties from this evening and I'll probably have a few tomorrow night when I get back from my evening exercise. It definitely doesn't make me an alcoholic and my overall alcohol intake is actually relatively modest.

I wouldn't really worry about your bottle of wine on a Friday or Saturday so long as you don't feel that it's negatively affecting you in any way. It sounds like your only concern is the notion that it's a path to alcoholism. It's fairly simple - if the corkscrew suddenly starts getting used an extra time ever week then you might want to reconsider.

The Sweeper

I've come to the conclusion that the best way to assess whether or not you're drinking too much is to do two things:

First, go to your doctor and request a liver panel blood test. If you're damaging your liver, you're drinking too much.

Second, consider your life in the context of your drinking. If you are missing work, taking bad risks (e.g. drink driving), fighting with people while you're drunk or in some other way damaging the quality of your own life and the lives of those around you, you're drinking too much.

I recommend it in that order, because nothing will scare the living bejesus out of you and plunge you into long-term sobriety like a set of blood results that say "You're turning your liver to paté".

You'll always find a way to justify a few jars on a Friday night, and to be honest, in Irish society, you will always find someone who'll tell you "Ah sure you're fine".

LegacyUser

I wouldn't worry too much , so long as you don't find yourself drinking a bottle on Tuesdays & Wednesdays.
It might also be worth trying to get wine which is 12% or 12.5%. A lot of new world wines are 14% & I find it's a big difference.

Tar.Aldarion

Apart from the health concerns Minesajackdaniels mentions, you have to think of your mental wellbeing. If you are happy when you are doing this then fair enough, but what happens when you get upset, depressed etc? As somebody that used to drink whiskey straight alone, watching tv or whatever, when life gets you down it seems easier to hit the bottle hard, you are used to sitting around drinking on your own. Anyway, that might not apply but be careful, and get your health checked up.

Victor

Its a lot easier on your body to drink the same amount of alcohol of a longer period of time. So instead of abstaining all week and having a whole bottle on Friday, try a glass or two every day or two.

iguana

The main thing to ask yourself is do you need the drink or do you just sort of like it, and answer yourself honestly.

If you came home on a Friday night and it was lashing rain and you are all settled and cosy at home and you realise you forgot to buy any wine, would you get dressed and go out and buy it? Even if it was a 20 minute round trip walk in the rain? Or could you just shrug it off and think: I'll just have a cup of tea instead?

If it so happened that you lost your ATM card and you only had a tenner to get by on in cash until your new card came next week, would you still buy the wine on Friday or do without that week? Or if you had no money for the weekend and absolutely could not have wine this week would you get shaky or upset about it?

A drinking problem doesn't become a problem over-night. For most alcoholic the problem has begun long before their career and relationships start suffering. If you honestly wouldn't be bothered by not being able to have a drink, then you have no problem. But if you know deep down that it would be a problem for you, then you need to look at changing your habits, and the sooner you address it, the easier it will be.

LegacyUser

Op again. Thanks for all your answers.

Iguana - your questions really were really good and made me think that I do need to stop, because it would bother me if I didnt have a bottle of wine in the house. I wouldnt get shaky or upset but I would have to go & get one. I've found myself getting into the habit of always having wine available over the past few months which have been stressful for work/personal reasons. The fact it doesnt seem to affect me at all the next day also worries me.

Think it's time to cut back big time! Thanks again.

LegacyUser

Another question along the lines of Iguana's: do you prefer to stay in alone with a bottle than to socialize? Do you make excuses not to go out? When people ask you what you are doing/did on Friday or Saturday night, what do you tell them?

LegacyUser

OP here. No I wouldnt choose to stay in on my own & drink rather than socialise. I do like to go out but if I am at home my thoughts will stray to the wine bottle. I'm finding that I'm thinking of having a glass during the weeknights as well and I suppose that's my worry also - that I'll be at home every night throwing wine into me and that the one glass mid-week will become two etc etc. I've always enjoyed having a drink but it used to be only when I was out and it's just become too easy to have the wine at home. I really dont think that I crave the alcohol - half the time it's just boredom while watching TV. The more I write about this, the more I realise I just have to cut out the home drinking altogether.

beya2009

na nothin wrong wit it at all. i doubt i'd be able 2 hav a full bottle of wine tho without fallin asleep!:L

[Deleted User]

JohnW2008 wrote: »

Grow a set of balls.If you wanna have a glass of wine on a Friday night, go ahead. Either be adult enough to decide for yourself whether you can handle an an intoxicating beverage on your own.Do not ask for advice of random ppl on the internet as regards spomething so specific to you. Either you have enough confidence to down a bottle of wine on your own or you do not...if you do not, and this amount of alcohol consumption bothers you, consult a doctor, who can properly advise as to the dangers re: your specific situation.

Otherwise, get on with it.

At least this person is mature enough to pose the question and not drowning in that famous Egyptian river.

leeroybrown

Unregistered wrote: »

Iguana - your questions really were really good and made me think that I do need to stop, because it would bother me if I didnt have a bottle of wine in the house. I wouldnt get shaky or upset but I would have to go & get one. I've found myself getting into the habit of always having wine available over the past few months which have been stressful for work/personal reasons.

If you've drifted into that area then it's probably time to cut back. When alcohol starts becoming a stress relief 'crutch' then it's not good territory.

Wine (particularly red) presents it's own problem too. When the corkscrew comes out there's a tendency for the bottle to be finished.

Tar.Aldarion

Unregistered wrote: »

Op again. Thanks for all your answers.

Iguana - your questions really were really good and made me think that I do need to stop, because it would bother me if I didnt have a bottle of wine in the house. I wouldnt get shaky or upset but I would have to go & get one. I've found myself getting into the habit of always having wine available over the past few months which have been stressful for work/personal reasons. The fact it doesnt seem to affect me at all the next day also worries me.

Think it's time to cut back big time! Thanks again.

Stopping completely for the time being sounds best. And if you start again in the future, do it infrequently.

dny123456

i always find when I drink at home, the alcohol has a lot more effect. e.g. 6 cans of beer and I'll be off my trolley, but the same amount, 5 and a bit pints, doesnt really affect me when out. Might be cause i'm moving about, talking, drinking slower, dancing, etc.

Drinking at home on your own, should be avoided in my humble. Definitely don't try to, as was suggested, spread out over the week. You'll just end up drinking a bottle every night, as one glass becomes two.

My opinion, just cut it out now. If you're worrying about it, its already a problem, no-one on the internet can tell you otherwise.

Firetrap

It might be as well to cut down if not cut it out altogether. There's nothing wrong per se with having a glass or two in front of the TV to unwind (I enjoy a couple of glasses or a can of beer myself from time to time) but downing a bottle in one sitting is pushing the boat out a bit in my book. You might not necessarily be an alcoholic but it's a bad habit to get into. In some ways it's no different to some people who can't just eat one biscuit from a packet but have to have the whole lot.

leeroybrown

dny123456 wrote: »

My opinion, just cut it out now. If you're worrying about it, its already a problem, no-one on the internet can tell you otherwise.

That's a very valid point. It's worth remembering though that you're not an alcoholic and you're taking a responsible approach to the issue. In my experience the real alcoholic is the one who is last to admit that they've got any problem.

Firetrap wrote: »

There's nothing wrong per se with having a glass or two in front of the TV to unwind (I enjoy a couple of glasses or a can of beer myself from time to time) but downing a bottle in one sitting is pushing the boat out a bit in my book.

That's the problem with wine. If you uncork a nice bottle of red then it's going to get finished. At least with beer you can throw two or three bottles in the fridge and that's your lot (or none for me this evening because hot tea seemed more appealing). A nice white could happily live in the fridge overnight though.

me_right_one

1 bottle? No way do you have a problem. I often drank 4 before going out on the beer!

LegacyUser

If you had a friend over watching tv, would you drink a bottle each? Would you even drink 2 bottles each?

So what's the difference just because you are on your own? You are still doing the same activity. What do people with no friends do??? Never drink???!!!!

Having wine takes the edge off if you're on your own and bored watching tv. It doesn't seem like you are using it as a crutch. You have a job, you can go out and socialise if you feel like it but you just choose to stay in sometimes instead.

I think JohnW2008 made a very valid point in the beginning, so long as you are confident you can handle it who cares if you have a bottle on your own every Friday and a few glasses mid week. I often stay in on my own on a Friday and have a bottle to myself. I deserve it after working hard all week! And I will have a few glasses mid week too if I feel I deserve it after a long day.

I also get plenty of exercise during the week so I'm confident that I'm healthy. It's a very normal amount in my eyes.

But if you say you have other problems (work/personal issues), maybe you should go about sorting them out and you may feel more confident about everything. Good luck.

LegacyUser

Hey. No I dont see anthing wrong with having a few drinks in the evening watching tv; I often do it myself. In fact I love nothing more than when the OH has a night out and I have the remote to myself and a few drinks in peace!!
The problem comes when you are questioning the amount you drink or the times you drink. Remember an alcoholic does not have to drink every day / get out of their face drunk / is not the typical brown paper bag guy you see in the streets.
I am not for one minute suggesting you are an alcoholic; as I said I do the same thing myself occasionally, however I do know that if its bothering you enough to question it well then it is something you need to think about / figure out for yourself and decide what to do from there.

marthaclark

I think you've gotten some great advice here..

I think it's important to feel in control of your own behaviours - not to feel driven to certain patterns of behaviour, or certain substances, because of stressful circumstances. That 'out of control' feeling can manifest in 'out of control' behaviours.

I enjoy to drink myself, but I feel like I choose to drink for enjoyment. I could just as easily do something else to deal with my stress.

We definitely do need to treat ourselves to a certain extent, but to become dependant on a substance in order to deal with the realities of modern life is dangerous.

Have your few drinks, but next time you feel stressed, try to do something else to relieve it.

I think it's great that you are this self aware, and drink aware.

If you continue to feel uncomfortable about your alcohol intake, I'd suggest you look closer at any underlying issues that make you feel like you might "need" to drink.

You might be interested in bibliotherapy, (specifically cognitive behavioural therapy), to help you understand the way you are thinking about this subject.

I'd suggest the Feeling Good handbook. Sounds corny but it's helped people I know with issues from eating disorders to depression and addiction.

It's basically a practical way to understand your thoughts and behaviours from a self-aware and rational perspective.

iguana

Unregistered wrote: »

Having wine takes the edge off if you're on your own and bored watching tv. It doesn't seem like you are using it as a crutch. You have a job, you can go out and socialise if you feel like it but you just choose to stay in sometimes instead.

Takes the edge off what? Sitting in your own home watching what you want on tv? Spending some time in your own company? Relaxing at the weekend? Where is the edge to any of that?

1: If you consider spending time in your own company to be having an edge you need to examine what's wrong in your life that you need help being by yourself.

And 2: If there is genuinely problems in your life that you feel do have an egde, you shouldn't ever drink to deal with it. Tbh, if you feel a need to drink you shouldn't be doing it. It's great to have a drink every so often, as long as it's fun or a treat. But if you are doing it because you feel you need to, you could be heading for problems. And you will lose your ability to cope with problems by yourself.

marthaclark

iguana wrote: »

Takes the edge off what? Sitting in your own home watching what you want on tv? Spending some time in your own company? Relaxing at the weekend? Where is the edge to any of that?

1: If you consider spending time in your own company to be having an edge you need to examine what's wrong in your life that you need help being by yourself.

And 2: If there is genuinely problems in your life that you feel do have an egde, you shouldn't ever drink to deal with it. Tbh, if you feel a need to drink you shouldn't be doing it. It's great to have a drink every so often, as long as it's fun or a treat. But if you are doing it because you feel you need to, you could be heading for problems. And you will lose your ability to cope with problems by yourself.

I have to agree. I wanted to say that but didn't believe I would be as eloquent.

miec

OP here. No I wouldnt choose to stay in on my own & drink rather than socialise. I do like to go out but if I am at home my thoughts will stray to the wine bottle. I'm finding that I'm thinking of having a glass during the weeknights as well and I suppose that's my worry also - that I'll be at home every night throwing wine into me and that the one glass mid-week will become two etc etc. I've always enjoyed having a drink but it used to be only when I was out and it's just become too easy to have the wine at home. I really dont think that I crave the alcohol - half the time it's just boredom while watching TV. The more I write about this, the more I realise I just have to cut out the home drinking altogether.

Hi Op

I think you recognise that something is not right in your drinking habits. Do you live alone and if so do you regularly feel bored so have wine to chase away the boredom? I have known people who had half a bottle of wine to 'unwind' or with company but when they became pressurised, they had a full bottle of wine, then two and then midweek, etc, etc. This could be the case for you. I think Iguana raises some excellent questions for you to consider. I don't see a problem with drinking alone, it has more to do with the 'why' you are drinking, rather than the 'how'.