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Happy Muggers in Dublin

General Zod

A happy Mugger is someone who tries to befriend you while picking your pockets.

I was walking home yesterday evening about midnight and took my usual turn down the walkway off Georges Street down to the entrance to Dublin Castle. It's a force of habit I think, because anyone who tries to walk immediately onto Dame street will be met by what's usually the crowdest section of road/street corner in Dublin most hours of the day ( narrow-ish pavement, obstacles, traffic lights, bus stops, people screaming at kids in buggies etc.)

Back to my story. I'd had a few pints but wasn't worse off for it, and had gotten a lovely mixed shawarma from the Shalimar (or whatever the name of the place is this month across from Hogans/Medipharm) 7/10 lovely chicken and lamb, sauce a little weak, which is a pity, and a lovely wholemeal bread wrap which is not a pita.

So I was walking down the alley when this oul country chap appears like the shopkeeper from Mr. Ben with his hand extended saying "hello!" (the old man was saying "hello" and his hand was extended, not like his hand had achieved sentience and the ability to talk and was conveying greetings upon me and my kin).

Now, if an oul country gent materialising out of the shadows of a laneway at midnight isn't enough to get your The_Citizen senses tingling, I'm not sure what else will.

anyway, kebab in one hand, I shook the oul gent's hand with the other. it was at this stage I realised 2 things

1) my phone and my wallet were in the same pocket of my combats, which annoys me

2) his other arm was patting down the side of my back from my shoulder to above my kidneys. this is not the action of someone with good intentions.

He had kept pace with me as i walked asking me where i was drinking that evening. I had a slight moment of clarity, released his grip and put my hand into my pocket on top of my phone and wallet. then I whistled down a cloud like Monkey and flew to safety kept walking, and the old gent retreated back having realised I wasn't going to be as easy a target as he thought/ had had a hand in my coat pocket and come back empty. My immediate concern in my slightly inebriated state was drawn back to finishing off the kebab in my hand and listening to the domestic which had just started ahead of me as I exited onto Dame Street.

Now, only after I woke up this morning did I realise exactly what this guy was trying to do (after a few pints my attention span is considerably shorter than usual) and had that slight feeling of uneasiness that comes with wondering if something was stolen out of your pockets. I'm off to tell the Gardaí this morning.

TL : DR Old guy tried to pick pockets off Dame Street late at night.

so, AH, Have you ever been "bumped" and what did you lose?

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[Deleted User]

Maybe he just wanted to rodger you

DrumSteve

was it the old guy from steptoe and son?

sounds to me like you were about to get a thumb in the bum.

[Deleted User]

DrumSteve wrote: »

was it the old guy from steptoe and son?

sounds to me like you were about to get a thumb in the bum.

Going by your location I'd say you are used to more than a thumb in the bum :pac:

DrumSteve

rarnes1 wrote: »

Going by your location I'd say you are used to more than a thumb in the bum :pac:

well coping with daylight isnt a strongpoint thats for sure.

phasers

I was at central bank reading last week and this English auldfella kept yelling "IS YOUR BOOK GOOD????HELLO IS YOUR BOOK GOOD????"

I ingored him then he actually came ver and asked me again. I moved.

I heard him yelling pleasantries after people who passed the bank and whenever he got them into a conversation it ended with them saying "I've no change sorry."

tl;dr old muggers are annoying

General Zod

rarnes1 wrote: »

Maybe he just wanted to rodger you

If he was looking for a ride he could have easily just gone into the George up the top of the street.

bernardo mac

If ever one comes across such dodgy characters just announce,without menace,but with the appropriate voice and accent,maybe casually:"I'm from Limerick".. risk is though..

Pop's Diner

DrumSteve wrote: »

was it the old guy from steptoe and son?

sounds to me like you were about to get a thumb in the bum.

Agreed. Sounds to me like the old guy was just looking to dip his hand into your special pocket.

My name is URL

A guy tried to pick-pocket me in Amsterdam.

He was walking beside me chatting away (in some foreign language) and it was obvious that he trying to rob me so I pushed him to the ground and summoned the nearest police official who later told me that the guy was a tourist himself and only looking for directions

InkSlinger67

General Zod wrote: »

2) his other arm was patting down the side of my back from my shoulder to above my kidneys.

Maybe he was checking you out before harvesting your organs? Get an X-ray just in case!

I have been approached by one of these people before while in the same general area / Christchurch late on a Saturday night some time ago. These guys won't try anything if you keep it brief and keep your eyes on your business - most of them you could handle if they try anything funny - Just chancers!

General Zod

InkSlinger67 wrote: »

Maybe he was checking you out before harvesting your organs? Get an X-ray just in case!

I have been approached by one of these people before while in the same general area / Christchurch late on a Saturday night some time ago. These guys won't try anything if you keep it brief and keep your eyes on your business - most of them you could handle if they try anything funny - Just chancers!

the thing is they would rarely operate alone or unarmed.

Aidric

phasers wrote: »

I was at central bank reading last week and this English auldfella kept yelling "IS YOUR BOOK GOOD????HELLO IS YOUR BOOK GOOD????"

I ingored him then he actually came ver and asked me again. I moved.

Was it David Norris?

Numina

Sorry to hear about the sauce being weak with the chicken and lamb, OP, but thanks for letting us know anyway.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

AnonoBoy

Met a lovely young lad in the alleyway behind the George last night. Firm handshake and plentiful organs (which I ascertained with a subtle back pat/squeeze). Unfortunately he left me before I could find out if he was a potential organ 'donor'.

Fear not I will continue to hunt for the neccessary organs needed to bring my creation to life.

ronbyrne2005

He was trying to score ya. That lane and many around there are where the gheys hang out and have "fun". One night we were driving through town and took a shortcut down that lane in the car and there were loads of guys sucking each other off. Maybe you are in denial?

DrumSteve

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

He was trying to score ya. That lane and many around there are where the gheys hang out and have "fun". One night we were driving through town and took a shortcut down that lane in the car and there were loads of guys sucking each other off. Maybe you are in denial?

are you the old guy in question by any chance?

General Zod

ronbyrne2005 wrote: »

He was trying to score ya. That lane and many around there are where the gheys hang out and have "fun". One night we were driving through town and took a shortcut down that lane in the car and there were loads of guys sucking each other off. Maybe you are in denial?

Maybe you should ask yore ma.

jape

Whatever happened to the traditional - "Gimme your money or I'll f**kin stab ya"

Simple yet effective

MikeC101

jape wrote: »

Whatever happened to the traditional - "Gimme your money or I'll f**kin stab ya"

Simple yet effective

EU regulations

Now our scumbags and thieves are being forced to fit in with the more gentlemanly "european" thief.

Ross_Mahon

I hate the ones that try to befriend you and ask for a go of your phone in order to steal it, A tender right hook to the face and that's all it takes...