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Strangest/Weirdest Things You've Witnessed?

brummytom

Saw three nuns after mass today scrambling to get into an old 3-door Nissan... shouldn't have made me laugh but did.

And getting pushed into a road by two dozen undercover policeman who then proceeded to leap onto the big bloke behind me was quite strange.

I'm sure everyone's got mental stories... I'm bored; tell

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chickenhawk

jigglywoo wrote: »

I live in the middle of town and two horses wandered in to our garden 20 mins ago

Maybe they're your new NEIGHbours!

jigglywoo

I live in the middle of town and two horses wandered in to our garden 20 mins ago

Lushed1

I heard a few young people out the back of where i work one day. I thought they were out smoking or just loitering about as young people do so i went outside and sneaked up to the side gate out the back. It's a big steel gate. I looked through the hole and i seen a girl down on her knees sucking some guy off! They were probably only about 17 or 18. It was about 3 o clock in the day. I couldn't believe it! Got the rest of the staff out to have a look too! Funniest thing i've seen in ages

battser

2 stories.

Was in birmingham one year with some mates and walked into a mc donalds (Classy I know) when all of a sudden I hadn't even closed the door and some old man dropped dead walking behind me!

The other was one night In the off license I worked in. Standing counting cash while the others are cleaning and dicking about. Knock on the door by the security guard. he barrels in the door knocked to the ground and two seconds later I was looking down the barrell of a baretta (by the looks of it)

Anyway instead of ****ting myself I threw the money under the counter and just started laughing saying "who are you ....will you give it over taking the piss!!"

I got pistol whipped and took about 2 hours to sink in that I cud have been shot dead in the head! weird!

CrazyRabbit

jane86 wrote: »

How?

Killed by moderators for trolling probably.

Nalz

few strange things up here
http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

Turd Ferguson

SoupyNorman wrote: »

Aren't you just glad he didnt get on the bus.

I was expecting it to be the bus driver...now THAT would be funny

4zn76tysfajdxp

C0ward wrote: »

I killed a man last week, 'twas sick.

Was it terminal? You probably did him a favour so.

C0ward

jane86 wrote: »

How?

With a knife in the library.

C0ward

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

I killed a man last week, 'twas sick.

jane86

MizzLolly wrote: »

I seen a person die last week

How?

MizzLolly

I seen a person die last week

bronte

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Brilliant!

easyeason3

kwalshe wrote: »

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

Is she Russian?

kwalshe

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

my sis calls it "The Trotskie's"

Super-Rush

Ann22 wrote: »

I'd be inclined to call it 'skitther'.

All depends where you come from i guess

Ann22

super-rush wrote: »

Best use of the word scutter ever

I'd be inclined to call it 'skither'. Didn't look right with two 't's.

SoupyNorman

Overblood wrote: »

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Aren't you just glad he didnt get on the bus.

Super-Rush

Best use of the word scutter ever

poisonated

I have two
1)When I was in Paris having dinner I saw a man pickpocket someone...It was one of those situations where you dont know what to do...I didnt want to be hunted down by some p.issed off french man thats for sure

2)when I was in New york,there was this homeless man with a sign saying "will allow you to tell me off for 2 dollars" or something to that affect...anyway I didnt have the balls to do it but my brother started telling him off...your man looked like he was really getting angry but then just laughed and said cool thanks or something...that was very funny

actualy I have another one
I was in this German hotel when an old man came up to me and said you have to take off your swimming togs to get into the steam room...That was scary,needless to say I just walked off as quick as I could...I must have been around 14

Borneo Fnctn

Scutter man baby. It's all about scutter man.

Overblood

I was waiting for a bus one day in Clonmel. Went into the station to take a piss. When I walked into the jacks I was hit by a wall of stench. Smelt like poo. Probably was. Anyways so I take a piss in the urinal, I hear the toilet flushing, and this fat guy, about 40 years of age, walks out of the stall. I knew by the cut of him that he wasn't all there, he was kind of retarded. He was muttering to himself. As he was walking out the door I saw that there was scutter all over his pants. I said to myself "feck, some chance of getting on the bus with scutter all over you boy!". I was also feeling sorry for the poor fecker who was looking after him.

Went back outside anyways to have an auld shmoke. There was an odd smell.

Saw the scuttery man wandering around like a lost child. He didn't have a carer or nurse or anything, he was all on his own. Whoever let this guy loose on the streets should be shot I thought to myself. Myself and all the other people waiting for a bus were just watching this guy wandering around the front of the station, talking to himself, with scuttery shit all over his pants. I was half thinking of ringing the guards since this guy was in no way able to take care of himself, he could have escaped from the local looney ward or something.

He made his way over to a phonebox outside the front door of the station and threw in a few coins, dialled a number, while holding the door open with his scuttery arse. The glass door of the phonebox went all brown. Since the door was open, we could all hear what he was screaming into the phone.

"I did it again!! Oh jesus I did it again! I'm at the station! Oh jesus wha! I did it again! Sorry!"

While he was on the phone, a woman who works in the station came out with a bucket full of brown water and poured it down the drain, she had the most horrid look on her face. She was obviously after cleaning out the jacks after him. I'm really glad I didn't have a peek into the stall on my way out. I can only imagine what it was like.

Anyways, yer man exits the phone box and returns to wandering around like a lost child, covered in scutter. Everybody is still watching this guy. Mary & Maggie smoking a fag saying "bejaysus what's up with that lad?"

A few minutes later a car pulls up in front of us, the driver is an old-ish lady, about 40-50, absolutely mortified look on her face. She didn't even get out of the car. Scutter man waves at her and waddles over to the car and opens the door. The driver is like "get in get in!". So scutter man turns his arse towards the car and gets in, arse first. He's pretty fat, and tall, so he puts his arse on the head rest, and then he slides his arse all the way down the seat as he sits in. Remember, this guys pants were destroyed in liquid brown scutter. The driver nearly pukes. Scutter mans arse finally reaches the seat and he closes the door. Lady drives off. Twenty people outside the bus station are left there wondering.... what the FCUK?!

Super-Rush

I once saw a man waiting for a train in Neesden in London wearing a blood stained dressing gown and drinking a bottle of champagne.

Banter Joe

Faith+1 wrote: »

Just like David Blane!!:D

That would explain all the talking through his arse...

easyeason3

The_Minister wrote: »

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

Cruising the aisles looking to catch a ladyboys eye was it

Faith+1

PirateShampoo wrote: »

A man eat his own head.

Just like David Blane!!:D

PirateShampoo

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Yeah downing a bottle of vodka will do that to you. Hope you wasnt to sore afterwards.

PirateShampoo

A man eat his own head.

The_Minister

easyeason3 wrote: »

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?

I was at the checkout in Tesco, so I was getting into the spirit of things.

easyeason3

The_Minister wrote: »

A transvestite.

Who was 6'4''

Who wore tonnes of make-up

Who dressed like a 1950s housewife

Who was right behind me when I turned around.

Were you bending down at the time?
And if so, will you be more wary about where you bend down again?