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Child Item

Those embarressing... erections

Denerick

I would like to think that I am not the only male in the world to have ever suffered an embarressing erection in a public place. Off the top of my head, I recall it happening at the following places:

My grand aunt's funeral... going up for communion.
Mass in general when I was a horny young toad and still living at home.
In school (10-20,000 times)
At College (10-15 times over three years. I seem to be less aroused these days. Maybe something to do with more booze and less exercise)
In a shop I used to work in.
This morning on a bus when i desperately needed to get off at my stop.

we all have them, and usually make a pretty good job covering them up. But when you get them at a time you really could do without them, how the hell are you supposed to get rid of them? I used to think Sonia from Eastenders would cure me, but that doesn't work ever since I saw her in the front cover of a glossy not looking near as bad as she used to.

What the hell does everyone else do???

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K4t

Denerick wrote: »

K4t wrote: »

I like necrophilia as much as the next man but ffs, your gran?
[ quote]

Nah, my gran aunt. Didn't know her and there was some hot women at the funeral.

Totally unrelated of course...

You could have knocked one out while at her coffin, cumshot to the face.

Redzer7

Lol

Gummy Panda

Buy a extra large notebook

Insect Overlord

Too far K4t, too far.

YraggarY

K4t wrote: »

K4t wrote: »

You could have knocked one out while at her coffin, cumshot to the face.

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Denerick

YraggarY wrote: »

K4t wrote: »

:eek: :eek: :eek:

I now see how easy it is for 'misquotes' to happen

YraggarY

Sorry 'bout that! Should really try get to grips (no pun intended!!) with this whole posting system..

FIXED!

[Deleted User]

K4t wrote: »

Denerick wrote: »

You could have knocked one out while at her coffin, cumshot to the face.

After Hours......wonderful !!

irlirishkev

Always happens when I need to get off the bus! I find saying the alphabet backwards in my head helps.. Problem is, I've said it backwards so many times now, I know it off by heart!

(uh oh.. zyxwvu..)

The Davestator

Denerick wrote: »

I used to think Sonia from Eastenders would cure me, but that doesn't work ever since I saw her in the front cover of a glossy not looking near as bad as she used to.

What the hell does everyone else do???

So Fcuking funny. I used to think about dead wet puppies in a bag or Margaret Thatcher

AckwelFoley

..yea, dont get them as much anymore...

ive got a few when doing the shopping at toys r us. Generally i go down to the Hannah Montanna merchandise isle and hammer one out and im sorted for another few hours

arybvtcw0eolkf

snyper wrote: »

..yea, dont get them as much anymore...

ive got a few when doing the shopping at toys r us. Generally i go down to the Hannah Montanna merchandise isle and hammer one out and im sorted for another few hours

When I get one I use my to pole vault down the isle's - impresses the shit out of the little kiddies.

.

dr.bollocko

Gabriella Rancid Torpedo wrote: »

When I get one I use my to pole vault down the isle's - impresses the shit out of the little kiddies.

.

Well frankly that's a beautiful image we can all enjoy for a second.

AckwelFoley

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Well frankly that's a beautiful image we can all enjoy for a second.

..a split second

Diabhal Beag

I was at a wedding talking to the bride and up pops the biggest Kenny Rodger I ever had. It nearly ripped off my body. It didn't go unnoticed either

K4t

Last year at school was unbearable. Everyday in the same two classes I was as hard as a rock. It's quite exciting as if you're asked to stand up or come up to the fine bitche's desk you are truly f**ked. School days are the best days of your life.

[Deleted User]

Suffer.

Y-fronts. Keeps him in check.

galwayrush

Getting one in a taxi car in Letterkenny would be a bad idea.;)

K4t

galwayrush wrote: »

Getting one in a taxi car in Letterkenny would be a bad idea.;)

Admirable thread reference. You're becoming a pro. Keep it up (Agh).

Tar.Aldarion

So yeah, I was teaching primary school kids, and whoever said picture them in their underwear to feel more confident is in for it. :mad::mad::mad:

A7X

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

So yeah, I was teaching primary school kids, and whoever said picture them in their underwear to feel more confident is in for it. :mad::mad::mad:

NO...just no

Insect Overlord

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

So yeah, I was teaching primary school kids, and whoever said picture them in their underwear to feel more confident is in for it.

A7X wrote: »

NO...just no

Why are there so many paedophiles in the world?
Too many sexy school-kids. :pac:

[Deleted User]

Abigayle wrote: »

Not for some perhaps, but it makes me laugh if I catch a guy with one. The guy is hardly (excuse non-intended pun) being perverted, its unvoluntary.

That's what you think Abigayle.

[Deleted User]

My security suite has pop-up protection.:cool:

Professey Chin

Blue_Lagoon wrote: »

My security suite has pop-up protection.:cool:

Lucky you.
I just have a pop-up blocker. It hurts

[Deleted User]

An File wrote: »

Why are there so many paedophiles in the world?
Too many sexy school-kids. :pac:

When confronted by such things, it always makes me think of the Eircom announcement when you can't get through to someone.

"We're sorry, but *insert perversion here*, is not available."

I'm sorry, but my empathy for that situation, is not available. Please hang up, and try again later.

Although, my worst has to be back in my First Aid days, when I was confronted with a being a casualty for a girl trying to put on one of these on me (wikipedia).

There was a way to get the groin straps on without putting your hands near there.

No one had told her.

Closest anyones hands have ever gone without looking for the moneypot.

This a week after I'd sent the poor thing the "I think I like you, can we go out?" text, and been sent the "WTF?! you weirdo!" txt.

I'm embarassment-immune now, although I wonder who was it more uncomfortable for.

I just thank God I haven't revealed the Secret Boards ID to her.

Local-womanizer

Its great getting one in the middle of a crowd of people,use it to poke them out of the way.Nobody is going to argue with a man with an erection.

[Deleted User]

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Its great getting one in the middle of a crowd of people,use it to poke them out of the way.Nobody is going to argue with a man with an erection.

You'd sure know :pac:

c4cat

Used to happen to me while riding on the Tokyo Subway during the rush hour and this is what would happen http://www.ridelust.com/japanese-man-accidentally-inflates-underwear-during-subway-commute/

randylonghorn

Hagar wrote: »

I used just tuck it into the top of my sock to prevent just such embarassing moments.

John McGahern has so much to be responsible for ... >.<

Denerick wrote: »

Unfortunately one can only get a grip in the privacy of one's own home.

You should have a conversation with FlashRaziel!! >_>

I seemed to spend my whole time in secondary school with one (despite my regular efforts to defuse the situation!) In the end I used to just ignore it, and if anyone slagged or said anything I would just stare at them in puzzlement and go "What?! No, I haven't!"

That approach had several advantages ... :pac: