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Ever Worked In A Call Centre? Tell Your Funny Stories Here!

steo87

I used to work over the phone for a bank doing debt-collecting....the funniest response I got from a customer was a simple, but very effective, "fúck off". So what are your funny stories/responses?

Ste

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lostexpectation

directories equiries has an up to date list of busines phone numbers

hahahahahhahahaha

Toots

While backpacking I worked for an Australian bank telemarketing accidental death insurance (yeah it was the best job ever :rolleyes:). Some of the customers were nice, but then lots were total assholes. There was an Irish guy working on my team, let's call him Aidan, and he was just cracked, I don't think I saw him in sober the entire time I worked there.

So one day he'd obviously called someone who was having a serious off day, cos this customer was just ripping him out of it on the phone. It was quiet in the office, so he put it on speaker for the rest of us to hear this loon screaming about how he'd fought on the beaches in Gallipoli so he'd have the freedom not to get calls from telemarketers

Anyhoo, he started demanding that Aidan give him a number to phone back. None of us knew what the number for the office was, as it was an outbound call centre, but worry not, Aidan picks up a copy of British Balls (backpacker magazine for those who don't know), and scans through to the escort adverts in the back. Called out one of the numbers for a 'massage parlour' to the customer, and then gave him a backup number (to a gay escort agency) to call in case he couldn't get through on that one.

We were all in convulsions with laughter, definitely the funniest thing that happened while I was there. Unfortunately for Aidan, he only lasted another two hours in the office before he got the sack.

[Deleted User]

You always get nutters who call every day, usually several times. We had Hayden and some other English bloke who used to talk about football and any other random stuff.

I loved working in a call centre. I would have stayed if the money hadn't been so terrible. Great laugh.

source

Worked for a mobile company in their call centre there was this one guy who used to call in everyday. one day a member of staff, put a note on his account saying that he had called to apologise for not calling the previous day lol.

same guy and myself used to bring in psp's and play GTA over wireless on the quiet days.

oh and there was the one time that a person called to ask me if they could change the name on the account from victor to victoria.....that was an interesting call.

oh and the chinese guy who called me racist because his phone was cut off.....he hadn't paid his bill in 3 months.

there was no shortage of idiots either, like the woman who was calling joe duffy because she could only get 2 bars of coverage in her house which was down the arse end of nowhere in kerry behind a mountain. oh and i also had a woman who couldn't figure out that the sim was needed in the phone to make a call, the phone was on the table and she was ringing the number on "the paper with the card on it" but it wasn't ringing,

giggsy664

DarkJager wrote: »

The equal hatred I developed for every single customer to call me. Here's a newsflash: The customer isn't always right, in fact he's quite a ****ing wrong,deluded and arrogant little bastard most of the time. You haven't seen the full extent of retardation among the public until you've worked in a call centre, believe me.

Funny story though. I worked for a mobile operator once and some dickhead called me, screaming pure uncalled for abuse down the phone for about 3 minutes non stop. Once he calmed down, I offered to call around to his house (which was close by) and politely informed him that he could repeat the whole thing he had just said to my fist. Cue paniced calls to the supervisor and getting fired later that day. Felt damn good though

Look no futher than www.notalwaysright.com

Washout

if a story today doesn't involve sleeping with Ur aunt it just isnt fnny

Prat Kenny

I'm forced to call some prat live on TV every Friday. Pain in the glutius maximus.

Blush_01

I worked in a directory enquiries call centre. Never had the funny stories from the office though. The nights out were good craic.

JustAddWater

I had a woman once who gave out to me because we sold her wireless broadband yet she needed a wire to plug the router in

"But I have to plug it in, and that's a wire, so it isn't really wireless then is it"

I gave up trying to explain what wireless internet meant after a few minutes

tony1kenobi

I worked in a call centre....It was funnier than Police Academy 6.......but not as funny as Police Academy 1 or 2.

bronte

Saruman wrote: »

Anyway we had some characters like some ass of an ex Army General from the UK who had our number and should not have. He demanded to be called General whatever his name was. We had great fun calling him Mister whatever his name was before transferring him.

:eek: I had a guy demand the exact same thing when I did Vodafone uk customer support. What a feckin eejit! Wonder if it was the same guy!!
He used to put his elderly mother on the phone whenever I asked him to hold. Asswipe.

Saruman

Oh again in Gateway, a friend of mine got a call from someone unable to access a website... not exactly our problem as it was just one website. Anyway he humoured him for a moment and asked what website? It was www.dickcity.com

Pretty sure it was a different website back then than what is there now.

General Zod

I once had to fix a network issue for a dutch guy called Dik Doktor.

Saruman

I love how it took him 30 mins to realise that too

Fiona4037

Once while working in customer care in Eircom i got a call from an old man looking for a number of a local garage, i explained we weren't directory enquires and told him to ring 11811 (eleven-eight-eleven)

Half an hour later i got another call from the same man giving out that i'd given him a wrong number - he'd no number eleven on his phone

Turd Ferguson

Me: Hello, welcome to ISP tech support

Idiot: I got my internet today and it's not working

Me: Ok, well how many lights are on the modem?

Idiot: All of them

Me: And whats on your computer screen?

Idiot: Computer? They never said I needed a computer when they sold me this. This is an outrage. I dont even know how to work computers. blah blah blah

It amazes me on a daily basis how stupid people can be.

DarkJager

Saruman wrote: »

Been there and done that, best time of my life as it was Gateway Tech support and i got to play games all day and sometimes went a day without even getting a call. I was on the server/corporate market so it was pretty quiet and i dealt with IT admins mostly.

Anyway we had some characters like some ass of an ex Army General from the UK who had our number and should not have. He demanded to be called General whatever his name was. We had great fun calling him Mister whatever his name was before transferring him.

Oh one guy who worked with me was a big guy, ex boxer. He dared another guy to him him as hard as he could in the stomach (big stomach). Anyway the other guy took a few steps back and ran at him and the big guy bowled over in pain

We had another guy who did Freddie Mercury impressions and would jump up on the desk and pretend to sing. He got the facial expressions perfect!

We had a paperweight laptop i had some fun with. At first glance it looks real. I offered £50 (before €) to the ex boxer if he could take out the motherboard. Told him it was a new model. He spent an hour before he gave up.

I took the same paperweight when the manager was walking by and dropped it in front of her making sure she would see it. She was shocked and i just laughed at her, she had a sense of humor so i knew i would get away with it.

The one thing about the job was, everyone who was there will usually say that if Gateway ever came back that they would try get a job there again, even if they made less money as it was such a laugh.

Very true. Whatever can be said about the actual work in a call centre, the laugh and comraderie between the people working in it is very hard to match elsewhere.

steo87

RATM wrote: »

Misleading thread title, I thought the OP had a funny story.

Twas funny to me! Well there was one where a customer pretended that I told him to fúck off.....I was on the phone to him one day and he was using abusive language so I informed him that I'm hanging up due to this.....hung up and that was that.

Next day the boss calls me....the same customer sent in a FOUR page email ranting and moaning, saying that I told him to fúck off and that I disrespected him....and the best bit - that he "...felt degraded".

Boss didn't believe a word of it.

Saruman

Been there and done that, best time of my life as it was Gateway Tech support and i got to play games all day and sometimes went a day without even getting a call. I was on the server/corporate market so it was pretty quiet and i dealt with IT admins mostly.

Anyway we had some characters like some ass of an ex Army General from the UK who had our number and should not have. He demanded to be called General whatever his name was. We had great fun calling him Mister whatever his name was before transferring him.

Oh one guy who worked with me was a big guy, ex boxer. He dared another guy to him him as hard as he could in the stomach (big stomach). Anyway the other guy took a few steps back and ran at him and the big guy bowled over in pain

We had another guy who did Freddie Mercury impressions and would jump up on the desk and pretend to sing. He got the facial expressions perfect!

We had a paperweight laptop i had some fun with. At first glance it looks real. I offered £50 (before €) to the ex boxer if he could take out the motherboard. Told him it was a new model. He spent an hour before he gave up.

I took the same paperweight when the manager was walking by and dropped it in front of her making sure she would see it. She was shocked and i just laughed at her, she had a sense of humor so i knew i would get away with it.

The one thing about the job was, everyone who was there will usually say that if Gateway ever came back that they would try get a job there again, even if they made less money as it was such a laugh.

dr.bollocko

aoibhebree wrote: »

Customer: I got my new SIM card in the post today, but my phone still isn't working

Should have just said "No. It's not, You're right"
And then hung up.

RATM

steo87 wrote: »

I used to work over the phone for a bank doing debt-collecting....the funniest response I got from a customer was a simple, but very effective, "fúck off". So what are your funny stories/responses?

Ste

Misleading thread title, I thought the OP had a funny story.

aoibhebree

Customer: I got my new SIM card in the post today, but my phone still isn't working

Me: Are you sure it's in the phone the right way round?

Customer: I'm meant to put it into the phone? How do I do that?

DarkJager

The equal hatred I developed for every single customer to call me. Here's a newsflash: The customer isn't always right, in fact he's quite a ****ing wrong,deluded and arrogant little bastard most of the time. You haven't seen the full extent of retardation among the public until you've worked in a call centre, believe me.

Funny story though. I worked for a mobile operator once and some dickhead called me, screaming pure uncalled for abuse down the phone for about 3 minutes non stop. Once he calmed down, I offered to call around to his house (which was close by) and politely informed him that he could repeat the whole thing he had just said to my fist. Cue paniced calls to the supervisor and getting fired later that day. Felt damn good though

abi2007

no thank god