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Whats the funniest/stupidest thing you've done to yourself/mate whilst drunk?

themilkyone

Suppose I should get the ball rolling...

Well this one is actually about my slightly older brother... And he more so did it to his girlfriend

So i was out for a few beers with my mates an came home rather early and noticed my brother was still out which was odd cause he has work at 8 am every morning.. anyways,i never really see my brother that drunk but this day was exceptional. He came into his room making a big clatter and clumber so i went in to check if all was ok to find him standing there in his birthday suit urinating all over his other half who was in bed..soaking her from head to toe. I tried to stop him but it was a dead end. So when he finally stopped leaking all over her he proceeded to jump inot bed but not before taking a mighty large dump on the floor just beside the bed of which he thought it would be a nice gesture to put her clothes in it.. :eek:

... At the time I thought it was pretty gross(which it was/is) but still cant help laughing about it. I dont have the heart to tell him i was standing behind him for the full show. As far as i know he thinks its a big secret

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themilkyone

Definitly the best post on this one yet!! Top drawer stuff

sam34

went out one night and got faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too drunk for my own good. got together with a lad i'd fancied for ages. back to his place, where i was giving him a bl0wjob. all was well until i passed out, mid bl0wjob! he must have conked out shortly afterwards, as i woke up next morning with my head still in his crotch

things between us have never been quite the same since

iPlop

A mate of mine fell asleep at a party so we pulled his jox down then spat into a rubber then left it on his back ,we never told him that was 10 years ago:D

EdgarAllenPoo

sam34 wrote: »

went out one night and got faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too drunk for my own good. got together with a lad i'd fancied for ages. back to his place, where i was giving him a bl0wjob. all was well until i passed out, mid bl0wjob! he must have conked out shortly afterwards, as i woke up next morning with my head still in his crotch

things between us have never been quite the same since

Narcolepsy and and drunken shenanigans really don't mix;) I bet the guy is thankful you didn't dream about eating an ice pop that night.

DarkJager

sam34 wrote: »

went out one night and got faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too drunk for my own good. got together with a lad i'd fancied for ages. back to his place, where i was giving him a bl0wjob. all was well until i passed out, mid bl0wjob! he must have conked out shortly afterwards, as i woke up next morning with my head still in his crotch

things between us have never been quite the same since

How did you not choke to death or was it just like an oversized toothpick?

I woke up one morning after a night on the piss to find my forehead covered in that glue women use for their fingernails, with a bunch of ****ing fruit pastilles caked into it ( a group of bitches at the house party decided this would be a great laugh :rolleyes:)

Imagine their horror when I did possibly the best slow motion rip of the glue, taking it all off in one go and then chasing after the car they had just got into (with no shirt on of course). It was only when I stopped running I realised it had also been poured down the front of my pants as well and my ball hairs were actually stuck to the leg of my jeans. That was one sick morning...

sam34

DarkJager wrote: »

How did you not choke to death or was it just like an oversized toothpick?
QUOTE]

well, he conked out too, so it returned to normal size
anyway, i didnt actually sleep with it in my mouth all night!

mp3guy

fullstop wrote: »

Bit ironic you have 69 posts...:pac:

That isn't ironic at all.

themilkyone

sam34 wrote: »

went out one night and got faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too drunk for my own good. got together with a lad i'd fancied for ages. back to his place, where i was giving him a bl0wjob. all was well until i passed out, mid bl0wjob! he must have conked out shortly afterwards, as i woke up next morning with my head still in his crotch

things between us have never been quite the same since

Well now thats just embarassing!!

sam34

themilkyone wrote: »

Well now thats just embarassing!!

tell me about it!
was about three months before i could look him in the eye again
(lol, not the jap's eye!)

Otis Driftwood

Seen various drunken incidents down the years.
Some highlights including people

Pissing in deep fat fryers
Pissing in bottles of listerine
Having a Barry White in a hot-press
Sticking tooth brushes up asses
Giving sleeping individuals "stink faces"

Thnx4theGum

This was a few years ago:
Some friends of mine were having a houseparty. This one fella got really pissed and passed out quite early during the night. People kept trying to wake him but he wouldn't wake up. He was snoring really loudly too. Some time around midnight someone got the brillant idea that we should dress him up as a girl for a laugh. We undressed him, shaved off all the hair on his chest, legs and arms, pucked his eyebrows and put a dress & makeup on him, did his nails, etc. While we were doing this, everyone was taking pictures & videos of him and a lot of them ended up being posted on the net.

carlybabe1

DarkJager wrote: »

How did you not choke to death or was it just like an oversized toothpick?

I woke up one morning after a night on the piss to find my forehead covered in that glue women use for their fingernails, with a bunch of ****ing fruit pastilles caked into it ( a group of bitches at the house party decided this would be a great laugh :rolleyes:)

Imagine their horror when I did possibly the best slow motion rip of the glue, taking it all off in one go and then chasing after the car they had just got into (with no shirt on of course). It was only when I stopped running I realised it had also been poured down the front of my pants as well and my ball hairs were actually stuck to the leg of my jeans. That was one sick morning...

HAHAHAHAOUCH

:D:D:D Fcuk that sounds sore....always stuck to the lipstick meself. Went campin on a weekend to TraBLEEDINmore, one of the lads sharin the tent was locked an snorin his head off, so out comes the blood red lipstick and he was transformed into krusty

:D:D the best part was that he had to walk across the campin field to the showers all the way to the far side

:D:D:D:D:D

Tom Trojan

Painted smiley face sideways on her butt. I could make it talk!:)

neil_hosey

Ive too many of these moments..

Number 1:
This one was at ****** YEARS ago, I wake up rediculously early when i drink for reason, this night i woke up at 5 or 6 still locked after about an hours sleep and spent about 2 hours filling up my mates tent with as much **** i could find in the vacinity. I wrecked his tent woke everyone up to show them and then woke him up by kickin the tent lol..

http://www.bebo.com/PhotoAlbumBig.jsp?MemberId=15974383&PhotoAlbumId=9279597713&PhotoId=9279607068

number 2:
At a lads weekend away, 2 of us went on the rampage as soon as we arrived as everyone else went back to the house. We stayed in the hotel and got absolutely twisted and headed back to the house for an "arm punchoff""??) Basically punching eachothers arms til someone gave up, went on for half an hour apparrently and this was the end result of his arm (mine was fine lol)

http://www.bebo.com/PhotoAlbumBig.jsp?PageNbr=1&MemberId=9158641&PhotoAlbumId=9583497469&PhotoId=9615348726

Number 3:
Me and a mate were out on a fairly heavy session one night and as i mentioned earlier i wake up really early, so locked, i put on a mask really early and went in and woke him up. (sry for **** video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FlWJpZ6FXpg

the one thing i remember about college and house parties was getting so drunk i would just go asleep in random peoples beds and wake up the next morning thinking .. "where the fúck am i!"

Local-womanizer

Dident happen to me but was in the local paper in the courts section,

Lad on the piss,couldent get a taxi home,manage to steal a horse and ride it for about 10 miles before the Gardai stopped him.When asked how he got the horse this far he said he flew it down.

In court the Gaurd had to read out this statment for the judge.

The man is somewhat of a hero around these parts now.

Jesus Juice

Local-womanizer wrote: »

Dident happen to me but was in the local paper in the courts section,

Lad on the piss,couldent get a taxi home,manage to steal a horse and ride it for about 10 miles before the Gardai stopped him.When asked how he got the horse this far he said he flew it down.

In court the Gaurd had to read out this statment for the judge.

The man is somewhat of a hero around these parts now.

noice.

Raze_them_all

Was twisted drunk one night and asked my best mate who's 6'5 and a 20 stone rugby player and his older stronger brother if they would mind if I tried there older sister that night......

This is a friend of mine this one and makes him a hero in my book.
He was twisted and went home with his girlfriend got some sexytime, asked her to turn off the light and before she had time to turn back to the bed he goes good, you can go now! He never told me what happened after that

togster

Lots

Rode an elderly neighbour
Swam in a fountain in berlin naked and got arrested
Woke up on a train to Dublin one day
Woke up on a train to Stockholm one day.
Slept in a ditch
Slept in an elevator in Madison square garden
Rode a horse naked and fell off and smashed myself.
Got caught on CCTV haveing sekz with a BBW.
Attempted breaking and entry, i thought it was my house.
The list could go on.

Peyton Manning

The weird thing about this story, is that our mate wasnt even that drunk, but sure anyway.....

We were living in student halls in WIT, and had just finished exams in first year. Having a few cans in the apartment, there was three of us, when we started messing about with a role of masking tape (like sticking it to someones arm and quickly pulling it off). I honestly dont know how it came about, but 2 of us convinced the other lad to let us over him head to toe in masking tape, so out to the shop we went and bought 7 or 8 rolls. Covered him completely, then gave him a layer of tin foil over it to make him look like a shiny robot. He couldn't move in an inch, so naturally we called over a few mates from another apartment, and we carried him to the top floor and onto the elevator. The rest of us ran down to reception (which was always fairly lively with people) just in time to see the elevator land with a polite PING, the door open gently, and our friend inside on the floor covered in tin foil with loads of people watching. After that we left him out in the car park for a while. Good times.