nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Worst/Funniest thing said in bed?

C0SM0

An acquaintance of mine told me a story about how one nite he was in the scratcher with this cracker he had pulled, she had him all worked up and he said he felt like his d**k was as big and as hard as he had ever felt it. then we she pulled down his cacks she took a peek and said
"Aw look, hello little fella!"

He was disgusted..

So question what's the worst or funniest thing said or heard in the scratcher?

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

Homer

Me : "This is only going to work if you don't talk"

or...

"You dont have toys? How bout a hairbrush? No, No, not for you, for me! OH NOOOO Not that end! OOOOOOH NOOOO!" :eek:

chillywilly

me and my mate are always havin a laugh together, he told me that during sex he shouts out his girlfriends dads name just for the craic.....i thought this was gas so a couple of weks ago when the girlfriend and i were messing around but we were in a very giddy mood, anyway we got down to business and i couldnt resist it......i called out her dads name and i got a swift slap across the face! I couldnt stop laughing, but my girlfriend being the legend that she is, called out my mothers name in a cunning retaliation! we were both in stitches!

Hellm0

If I had to pick one, and there are many, of the special thing's my many conquests have uttered to me in pre/mid/post coital gratitude it would be this; "That'll be 50 euro please".

Dinter

"Y'know with the amount of women who've vanished under the floor of my basement in the last year or so, I'm amazed women like yourself still feel comfortable going home with someone they just met."

Gary ITR

I once said

'fcuk this, I'm going home. I'll do it meself'

I had a severe case of brewers drought

Pighead

Pighead's usually legendary bedroom behaviour let him down once a while back after a marathon day of sweaty lovemaking.

The lady was just about to initiate round 8 when a tactless Pighead said "Listen babes, don't mean to be funny but we've been in here seven hours now. PearTree House and Personal Issues aren't going to moderate themselves you know"

Kashkai

Nice girl from Kerry once said to me, just as we were about to get down to business:

"Come on in, the door's open, you're welcome to visit"

WTF, I didn't know if she was just inviting me round for tea or if I should be looking over my shoulder for her hairy faced boyfriend to join the party! :eek:

pierrot

'Man, I don't believe you can't get a boner, what the ****'.
Didn't stop me trying (and failing) 3 more times. Had to make a new rule for myself, one attempt and thats it, it doesn't get any less embarrassing the more times it happens

Hellm0

Pighead wrote: »

Pighead's usually legendary bedroom behaviour let him down once a while back after a marathon day of sweaty lovemaking.

The lady was just about to initiate round 8 when a tactless Pighead said "Listen babes, don't mean to be funny but we've been in here seven hours now. PearTree House and Personal Issues aren't going to moderate themselves you know"

Oh ho ho!

SheroN

"Get off me daddy"

Kashkai

SheroN wrote: »

"Get off me daddy"

I certainly hope that was you telling your mother to get off your Daddy

BillyGoatGruff

SheroN wrote: »

"Get off me daddy"

How's Mr Burges.

Kablam

Is it in yet?:eek:

Raytown Rocks

Chinese chick I was banging kept shouting " pang ya, pang ya"

How was I to know that meant wrong hole.......

Berty

stovelid wrote: »

The pink looks like an easy shot, but the brown is a bit sticky.

Fixed that for you.

Wompa1

My g/f and I were going out and my housemate had an exam the next morning. He asked me if I was still up at 4 to wake him up so he could study. 4am came and myself and the lady friend were going at it and she said were'nt you suppose to wake **** up....I said "You were thinking about **** too?"

ejmaztec

No it's not a leak in the water-bed, just my incontinence rearing its ugly head. :eek:

twentysomething

"Mr Happy wants it"
I should've gotten an oscar for preventing myself from laughing!

Berty

Rolling over in the morning and seeing her and saying "how much did I drink last night" and then thinking "did I just say that out loud". "Is she awake, did she hear that?". "Who gives a **** anyway, she's kicked!"

Nehaxak

"Aw jaysus, that's fkin tight, aw yeah"
"You should've told me you wanted in there, I would've washed my arse. I have a dose of the runs you know..."

...

"Have you come already ? Why have you gone all soft, what's wrong ?"

anti-venom

" oohhhhhhhh, aaaaahhhhhhhhh, I have to call my brother". Right in the middle of the shagging action.:mad:

Hellm0

chef wrote: »

Chinese chick I was banging kept shouting " pang ya, pang ya"

How was I to know that meant wrong hole.......

That also means "Bang!" in Korean apparently.

Big Knox

Bottle_of_Smoke wrote: »

I was in my teens so don't judge me.

I knew this girl from another part of the country, both liked each other a lot but accepted we weren't compatible for a long distance relationship.

We'd meet up a few times of year and have sex if we were single. One time she wasn't single but I was and I was trying to talk her into it. (In my defense she came into the bed *I* was sleeping in as soon as her mum left the house) It seemed to be going nowhere and I'd given up on pestering her, I then jokingly said "we don't have to kiss". She didn't think I was joking.

Tell the truth, you weren't!!! :pac:

00112984

Used to shag a particular person and, during sex, they would shout out:

"Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat!!!!!! Oh Pat you're so fecking good, you're the best ever. Gonna make you cum, Pat, gonna make you cuuuuuuum. Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat! Pat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Pat was his name.

AlmightyCushion

Tri wrote: »

"Mmm, oh yeah Laura - I love you so much".

My name is not Laura.

True story.

Could be worse.

"Mmm, oh yeah Laura - I love you so much".

"My name is not Laura, it's Fred"

:eek:

Dublin_Andy

when your done, the girl screams out "im pregnant"!!!

4zn76tysfajdxp

AlmightyCushion wrote: »

Could be worse.

"Mmm, oh yeah Laura - I love you so much".

"My name is not Laura, it's Fred"

:eek:

"Jeffrey Tight Sawdust" actually.

Cupcake_Crisis

......your dad did it better

darling.x

I once said to an ex: 'you're sticking it up the wrong hole'. He found it funny. I did not find it funny. He was trying to stick it up the wrong hole and i didn't like it.

monkeytronics

best one for me was with my gf.

She's on top, we're banging away like mad and I say:

"I ****ing love your pussy"

She says

"I love yours too"

I broke out laughing she hadn't heard what I said properly. I still laugh about it to this day. classic!!!