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Child Item

Weirdest customer you have ever had to deal with in work

Monkey61

Don't know if this has been done before...but if not, here's mine.

Working in the Ilac Centre we used to get loads of junkies,and general mentals. My favourite of all was a junkie looking type who came in completely covered in blood with a black eye and split lip etc.

Naturally he wanted to buy a few Bob Marley cds for his new discman which he had just bought. I was chatting away to him as you do, showing him how to put the batteries in his discman and ignoring the obvious question.

Finally he mentions that he's just on his way to the hospital now and wants something to listen to in the waiting room. He has been stabbed! Ten minutes previously. Not very bad he says, but he'd better get a few stitches. "Oh dear" says I, "that's terrible." "Ah no" he says, "have a look at this." At which point he whips off his shirt and turns around to show me the massive scar running the entire length of his back. Shop was quite busy and the surrounding customers' jaws were dropping in horror.

"Now you're a very nice girl" he remarks, "most people would've looked at me funny and wouldn't have talked to me, but you've been lovely, so I'll just warn you. This" he points at his scar and announces in a conspiratorial whisper, "this is what happens when you buy a lot of drugs and can't pay for them."

And off he went, happy as a sandboy to the hospital with his new copy of Legend" to listen to.

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Fletch123

Call centre:

Me: Good morning, Call Centre, Jennifer speaking, how can I help you?

Man: What's your name?!?

Me: Jennifer, how can I help you?

Man: Daffodil?!?

Me: Excuse me?

Man: Your name is Daffodil?!?

Me: No, Jennifer...?

Man: Spell it!

Me: J-E-N-N...

Man: D-A-F-F...

Pause

Me (weary): Yes, my name is Daffodil, how can I help you?

Plus numerous other headwrecking people, like ones who call up for a chat about Mary down the road, or the ones who try to get their phone switched back on claiming they had been in hospital with a brain tunour so couldn't pay the bill (this excuse used many times by the same person!).

Hellm0

Once had a customer accuse me of "throwing" her change at her.

Used to work in a national Irish video rental store, the security guard kept a giant wad of cash(close to 5000 Euro he claimed) on him at all times in case he saw a car he "fancied". Guy talked alot and mentioned he had been shot, stabbed and beaten and proceeded to show me shot embedded in his skin from a shotgun blast he had taken to his arms. As if this was not enough I remember he mentioned both his wife and daughter were heroin addicts, and he himself was on methadone. He once fell asleep in MY chair(the ONLY chair in the store) for like 2 hours, right under the security camera.

I have alot of stories about the people I have worked with, I stopped working with customers a while ago thankfully.

c - 13

ashyle wrote: »

I work in a DIY store, get questions like that allll the time. 'Will this colour paint look nice in my kitchen?' ??!

A great one I had recently was, 'do yis sell Durex paint?' I laugh. They freeze. '**** I mean Dulux!!!! I can't believe I said that I'm mortified!'

Yeah, we had a woman ask for dildo (Dado) rail once, when we started laughing she went bright red, only realising what she said.

hussey

when I was 16 I worked as in a shop selling car accessories.

A middle aged women asked me about steering wheel locks, and she asked me about one particular one which needed a battery (for an alarm too), she asked me very loudly was the battery for lock, so it would act as a vibrator.

Since my dad was manager, I went a certain crimson colour, as the loack was about a 1m long

chanianaus

Ok i used to work in a hotel,I will be there in the night on my own,So u can imagine what kind of weirdos i will meet.

Too drunk girls and mid aged women want me to come and fix shower :pac:.

People tipping u lots of money to open bar which i did.

And u meet absolute bastards telling u they r the kings of ireland so u have to open the bar.

So this night bar staff left around 4 in morning it was one of quite weddings and like always every one walked to me to open bar and i did served couple of rounds.

Around 5 in morning this old fella from country starts shouting abuse at me that i am a paki (i am an Indian by the way) and i should **** of back to my country and he is sick of people coming to Ireland.When i was about to call police the bride comes to me and starts crying that she is very sorry for his behavior and not to get police involved in her wedding.

So needless to say they were not getting no drinks after that group started leaving telling him he is a prick and how he ruined to party.

So there were around 4 people sitting in lobby at around 6 and he started again he is sick of pakis and all that ****.So 2 ladies were constantly with me appolizing and not to call police and all that.

Jesus i was sick of that man,At this stage i didnt wanted to get police involved i just wanted to punch the face out of him.

Around 6:20 3 members out of that group went to toilet and he was sitting there on his own ,He wont say a word now ,I walked to him and called him all the abuse u can get from mother f***** to Country uncivilized pig,Took me ard 2 min to take heat out of my body and not a word of his mouth.I came back to reception.

Other minute or so other 3 other members of group were back from toilet and he started paki SH** again saying that i called him all kind of names when they were in toilet,they were saying i didnt said nothing and he was just a racist prick making up SH** and left .

He was sitting in lobby for 1 minute after them gave me a bad look and left.

What a prick.

Oh i have so much stuff i can write a book

JC 2K3

One weekend last summer I was working in Stephen's Green Shopping Centre doing a survey about computer literacy.

One lady came over to do the survey, which consisted of answering some questions on a laptop. She didn't know too much about computers and kept mentioning that she "hadn't used computers much since '95 when [she] did some work with Telecom Éireann".

There was nothing out of the ordinary about her at all while she was doing the survey, however, when she finished, she mentioned that she was working on something to do with computers and lasers.

Now at this point I was rather bemused, since she had mentioned she hadn't used computers since '95 and didn't seem to know much about them, let alone a project involving "computers and lasers".

She then proceeded to tell me about how the devil was present in all computer and television screens, and that evil spirits and demons jumped out from the screens into the body of the user. I can't remember exactly where lasers came into it, but I think it was something to do with curing the victim by killing the evil spirits in their body. She then told me that the only way to stop these spirits jumping out of computers and TVs was if they were blessed by the "Lord Jesus Christ Himself".

She told me she knew I probably thought she was a lunatic, but that it was the truth. I managed to smile and nod until she had left, at which point I broke down laughing for about 10 minutes. :pac:

GrumPy

Not so much weird customers, just total assholes and a load of complete retards.

taidghbaby

once a woman came back 20mins after having paid for something, saying she had given me €50 not the €20 she had actually given me!!

she had this big long story about why she would only have a fifty on a thursday!

anyway i checked the float and it was all perfect, and told her to come back at the end of the day and i'd check again!

so i forgot about her, presuming that she had chanced her arm, not gotten away with it, and moved on with her life!!

but five o'clock comes and who turns up again only the lady!

so i proceed to check the cash again, and again its bang on!!

she's now saying that ive pocketed the money and basically robbed her!! i said fair enough if thats what she believes she can go take it up with my boss!

off she goes and is in my bosses office saying i had robbed her, my boss says she doesnt believe her, and is going to have to call the guards if the lady wants to pursue her complaint!

the minute the guards are mentioned the lady changes her story, and may infact be mistaken over the amount of money she gave me!!

i cant remember what i spent the €30 on :cool:

javaboy

c - 13 wrote: »

Yeah, we had a woman ask for dildo (Dado) rail once

You should have given her one.

Kintarō Hattori

I had a chap one day several years ago ask about a Maxtor 120GB hard drive. I told him I didn't have any in stock but that I did have IBM drives. I mentioned that I thought these were a better drive but that I could order the Maxtor one for him and that it wouldn't be a problem or any extra charge. He took the IBM drive and went away seemingly happy.

A letter came in a few days later where he said he had the IBM drive forced down his throat, that I had left him with no choice and he was upset at the experience. Everyone was a little surprised as I had been as nice as pie to him and had offered to get in the drive that he wanted.

Now no offence to anyone but he was a white south african. We used to get a seemingly disproportionate number of these guys in causing trouble. They really seemed to have some sort of superiority complex. I menioned it to a white south african lady I knew and she assured me I wasn't making it up and that they could indeed be difficult and that was partially the reason she didn't date men from her country. Thankfully we don't seem to have that issue these days.

(My apologies to any sound white south african males)

c - 13

Ah I just remembered another, more customer stupidity this time though.

I worked in World of wonder toy shop before.

So one day this customer comes in returning a Playstation 2 (Pretty new out at the time), and she's ranting and raving and telling us how we ruined her childs birthday by selling an item that didnt work and that the child was so upset and so on.

I one of the more senior members of staff so I always had to deal with these customers before it went to management, So I try to talk to her but she's not having any of it, she's on a rant and theres no stopping her. I calmly wait until she's finished and ask to see her reciept, which she practically throws at me.

On looking at the receipt I point out that she'd actually bought the console in the Symths' toy shop about 4 doors up from us.

She went pale, took the offered reciept and left without saying anything.

Earthhorse

ashyle wrote: »

A great one I had recently was, 'do yis sell Durex paint?' I laugh. They freeze. '**** I mean Dulux!!!! I can't believe I said that I'm mortified!'

Not a work story as such but when I was a little Earthhorse I once walked into the local Centra and asked for a Double Dick.

Double Dip. Double Dip.

eamon234 wrote: »

There was this crazy bitch when I used to work in Galway years ago - first time I met her I was managing an electrical store she came in moaning about a broken kettle she bought years ago - when I told her politely that it was a out of warranty she went nuts (I don't even think she'd bought it in that shop!)
Started screaming around the place then started saying she was a diabetic and proceeded to faint. We put her on a chair and she came around then we said we'd call an ambulance and she refused took about two hours to get her out of the feckin shop turned out there was feck all wrong with her.
A year later I was working in a mobile phone shop in the city centre and lo and behold, in she walks and starts going off at the other girl there because of something stupid wrong with her phone - ten minutes later and she's fainted again! I tried to explain to the girl but she didn't believe me and the same scenario ensued as before.
A couple of months later I was in Casualty really sick with a stomach ulcer and rolling around in pain waiting to be seen. I hear a ruckus in the cubicle beside me - guess who! Pretending to have an attack again and giving me about a half an hour's more pain than I needed to have I could have killed her.
It's funny she looked normal enough, well dressed early 50's but what a feckin attention seeker!!

I think I've seen that episode of House MD.

javaboy

Earthhorse wrote: »

Not a work story as such but when I was a little Earthhorse I once walked into the local Centra and asked for a Double Dick.

Double Dip. Double Dip.

Don't you mean Earthfoal? I'm beginning to think you're not really a horse at all!

smokingman

Summer job in directory enquiries back in college a few years ago...

Me: "Hello 118**, how can I help?"

Crazy old lady: "Can you tell me how to dial eleven please?"

...

Another time...

Me: "Hello 118**, how can I help?"

"Have you got the number for Angie two doors up please"

...

syklops

Cremo wrote: »

i don't go well with people so i chose a career that i don't have to deal with people.

Yes, because everyone who works/worked in a call centre/centra/Dunnes/aldi or whereever did so because they wanted to work with the public.

This Imelda bird. How old is she roughly. I used to see this one regularly around sandyford, I suppose late thirties maybe early forties, skinny, black tights, red miniskirt, bad makeup job. Used to make bird noises walking down the street and regularly stuck her tongue out at people. Is this the same person?

Always wore the same clothes. Never flashed me though.

Worked for a major irish ISP, and got a phone call from this culchie.

Him: "This broadband... Does it come with a screen? Ya know, so you can see the internet?"
Me: "Er, no. You need a computer to see the internet"
Him: (talking to the wife) "No it doesn't come with a screen. I suppose we'll have to get one".

Same company. This was my second day on the job, having never worked on the Irish market before, I could not believe how bad irish people were on the phone. This call solidified that opinion. This woman rings up with a few questions about broadband. Says she is completely non-computer literate, and she wants to know the answers for her husband who is 'out'. She asks me about setting up the email in outlook express, and I tell her there is a howto on our website, and if she wants I can talk her or her husband through it. She says "Er, no my husband wont be home until late". Then she asks another question, and I give a similar reply, offering to help her but she says she cant do it herself. Then I ask her is there anything else I can help her with. She says "One second!", and I hear murmuring in the background. Then I hear a male voice say "And ask him about ....". I came to the conclusion the husband was there and did not want to talk on the phone. Anytime I suggested the husband ring us, she said he left for work before we opened, and came home after we had closed and could not ring us on his lunch hour. I know for alot of people this is the case with many companies, but we were open from 7am and closed at 10pm, 7 days a week.

Earthhorse

syklops wrote: »

I know for alot of people this is the case with many companies, but we were open from 7am and closed at 10pm, 7 days a week.

Maybe he worked for your company.

syklops

Earthhorse wrote: »

Maybe he worked for your company.

That would explain why he didnt want to talk on the phone alright.

But if he did, it would mean he was working 15-hour straight shifts, which im pretty sure is illegal.

ven0m

The Scientist wrote: »

Call Centre one from back in the Day too...
Rang a Customer in the UK and i asked to speak with a Mr Ridgeworth (not real name). He scowled back down the phone in the poshest of English Accents; "I beg your pardon, you'll address me by my proper title of Lord Ridgeworth".
I told him he was listed as 'Mr.' on our database... He went nuts and accused me of Treason to the Crown! :eek:
I told him i was calling from the ROI and said that title meant nothing to me.
Needless to say he didn't buy what i was selling.

This wouldn't have happened to have been in a certain ISP for the UK that had offces here would it ;-)

Cos that story sounds uber familiar.

Creamy Goodness

syklops wrote: »

Yes, because everyone who works/worked in a call centre/centra/Dunnes/aldi or whereever did so because they wanted to work with the public.

didn't say they did tbh.

Messed Up Mind

I used to work in a shop in a certain shopping centre in South Dublin. We'd get a lot of odd balls coming in and out regularly and grew to know them and their habits so we could take lunch breaks at certain times or hide in the stock room while the last person out on the floor would have to stay out on the floor.

Firstly there was the man that would come in, ask one of the guys a question and then proceed to fiddle with himself while the person was answering his question. After a couple of times of him doing this, he got barred.

Then there was the odd couple. An elderly man and woman who'd come in and ask about our largest most expensive items. The old lady would wear bright red socks, had blonde hair, really expensive clothes while the elderly man was really dapper looking. They'd then ask you lots of questions about the item. You'd answer them of course, they'd promise to put a deposit on it in a few minutes. You'd then leave them to talk about it of course, and just as you were running hastily away you'd hear them arguing REALLY loudly over nonsense. They'd then leave ten minutes or so later of their own accord.

Next there's the infamous Squeeky Bum seen in many of our shops throughout Dublin. He'd come in half an hour before closing time with a Dunnes Stores bag full of shopping in each hand and an umbrella with a pointer protector (?) at the top of it, whether it was blazingly sunny out or not, stare at all of our products and generally refuse to leave the store after closing. We'd knock off all the TVs, stop the music, knock off all the lights, and he'd never get the message. You'd tell him to go and he'd start asking you questions.

The one story that I have that tops all of these crazy customers that we got in was one particular crazy Nigerian woman. She turned up to our store to return a TV that was over a year old. It was a big 50 inch CRT yoke that weighed a tonne so she decided to put it diagonally into a trolley. She got to the door of our shop and was shouting at us in Nigerian. We didn't have a clue what she was saying. When we got her to calm down, she started speaking to us in English very loudly. We then of course had a clue what was going on. Basically, her TV was broken. We could only offer a repair cos it was over a year old (and obviously really badly treated). She went off on a mad one and lifted the TV (note, it probably weighed about 50KG) from the trolley, and threw it to the ground saying that she wanted a new one. We had to get the centre security guards to get her out. It was a bit of a crazy night. She came back a few weeks later but I never found out what happened.

Working in retail for over 3 years, I'm a wealth of stories.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

From friend who used to work directory enquires in Conduit (yeah, them!)

Cust: My phone's been stolen, I need to cancel the contract.
Rep: Ok, was it and Orange phone?
Cust: No, it's green.

weemcd

Currently a call centre monkey atm for probably the biggest telecoms provider in the uk. . .

get the usual shíte on the phone from english pricks, women from glasgow who don't need to download much porn with their broadband but just love the accent...

favorite was a nigerian on the phone who had just been outa hospital, yadda yadda, couldnt pay bill - half hour rant with a complete sob story of his life, could i get his phone reconnected etc. etc. I managed to get him sorted out anyway. His final question was when could it be connected cos he needed to phone the hospital, just as i was checking the date on the system i could hear running water. Now a trainee was listening into the call beside me, so i muted the phone for a second, turned round and said "is he taking a pi.." before I managed to finish that statement I could hear the toilet flush. Took me about 2 minutes to stop laughing and finish the call, think I sent im out a free router cos he seemed cool. . .:cool:

worst was some guy with very poor english just going on a complete rant about my schemes and how he knew i was gonna trap him, but he wouldnt let me. Eventually he stopped talking and i would say "ok, but how exactly do you want me to help you today..." que another rant about how i would never catch him etc. Went away for a cofee and came back after 5 minutes and he was still going. Said he had done the same a few months ago and was on the phone for 9 hours... he had the cheek to claim he was too busy to be wasting his time on the phone, but for all his ranting and raving I couldnt honestly tell what he was even ringing up about in the first place . . .

good thread

Krieg

I have a few minor story's. But any time I got the downright weird/stupid customers, I was often paranoid that it was a setup like naked camera or something. Its often difficult to comprehend the stupidity of some people

missfrilly

Had 3 today
1. Myself and another girl were .on the shop floor . This customer followed the other girl around and said to her pointing at me that I was rude and had no manner, who did I think I was etc etc. I couldn't hear her but could see ehr. The girl told me what she said so when she said came up to the counter I asked her to explain herself ( work in a charity shop and we get an unholy amount of abuse) as I don't know her and what was she referring to.Apparently on a previous occasion I hadn't taken sufficient interest in her private life and that she was some sort of psychologists and "knew my type" . Still don't know who she is.

2 + 3
2 customers came in wanting refunds.Grand no problem....NOOOOO
NEITHER had brought the item in question or its receipt

A few weeks ago somebody decided our dressing room would be a great place to do a big dirty poo

Another leapt into a window display and robbed a designer handbag

Another stuffed a bridal gown into a bag and tried to rob it

Another customer accused one of the girls of being involved in the death of her brother

One barred customer loves shouting things like WHORE ,F**KERS, F**K YOU etc in the door when she passes .

Another wanted to stab one of the girls in the face

sam34

i remember once i prescribed meds for a patient, and painstakingly went through what he cold expect from them etc, and that they would take a while to work. he rang me the nrxt day, really irate, to say they werent working. so i said, "yes, remember i told you they wouldnt work straight away?", to which he replied "well, to be honest, i havent taken any of them, theyre still in the chemists bag".

jackal

Working at a 5 star hotel as a waiter in the lounge serving drinks sandwiches, high tea etc. part time during college days.

Of course this type of establishment tended to attract a well to do crowd, who were for the most part really nice. But I remember one day a family who were real complaining bastards, nothing was good enough for them. The dad sat there and said loudly to the son "You better make up your mind to study now and get enough points, or you will end up like one of them" while pointing at myself and a colleague.

Also we had a wedding one night and caught a couple shagging in the sandwich chefs station (little room off down a corridor) and someone took a massive, 3 bowler dump in the sink there the same night. The family was involved in the business of working with tin, and it was a lesson learned for the wedding boss, who was from a different country and must have missed all the warning signs when planning the thing with them.

Im sure there are plenty of better hotel stories out there.:)

Toto Wolfcastle

missfrilly wrote: »

Had 3 today
1. Myself and another girl were .on the shop floor . This customer followed the other girl around and said to her pointing at me that I was rude and had no manner, who did I think I was etc etc. I couldn't hear her but could see ehr. The girl told me what she said so when she said came up to the counter I asked her to explain herself ( work in a charity shop and we get an unholy amount of abuse) as I don't know her and what was she referring to.Apparently on a previous occasion I hadn't taken sufficient interest in her private life and that she was some sort of psychologists and "knew my type" . Still don't know who she is.

2 + 3
2 customers came in wanting refunds.Grand no problem....NOOOOO
NEITHER had brought the item in question or its receipt

A few weeks ago somebody decided our dressing room would be a great place to do a big dirty poo

Another leapt into a window display and robbed a designer handbag

Another stuffed a bridal gown into a bag and tried to rob it

Another customer accused one of the girls of being involved in the death of her brother

One barred customer loves shouting things like WHORE ,F**KERS, F**K YOU etc in the door when she passes .

Another wanted to stab one of the girls in the face

Jaysus, where do you work?!

Alun

jackal wrote: »

The family was involved in the business of working with tin, ...

ROFL

Alun

Back in the pre-digital stone age when those little Kodak 110 format cameras (see here) first came out, I was working in a camera shop that also did film processing.

One guy came to collect his photos, and immediately started complaining that we'd messed them up as half the photo was black with a big fuzzy pink blob in the middle. We didn't know what was up, but pointed out that the negatives were the same, and maybe he was using the camera wrong or something. He stormed off mumbling under his breath, but nevertheless came back a week later with another film to be processed.

Needless to say the same thing happened again, so after we had got him to calm down we asked him to show us how he was holding the camera. He took it and held the camera up to his eye, but looking through the viewfinder back to front and with the lens pointing behind him. The black bit on the photo was his hair and the pink blob was his ear!!!

Numina

sam34 wrote: »

i remember once i prescribed meds for a patient, and painstakingly went through what he cold expect from them etc, and that they would take a while to work. he rang me the nrxt day, really irate, to say they werent working. so i said, "yes, remember i told you they wouldnt work straight away?", to which he replied "well, to be honest, i havent taken any of them, theyre still in the chemists bag".

Seen this one before, only difference is that they were meds for his son. Nice try though.