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Snooty shop assistants! HA, Ha, I shall buy my diamonds ring elsewhere!

Seoid

My boyfriend and I have recently decided to get married and so the saga begins....

The first step, naturally, is to find the right engagement ring!
We're both very busy and the next Saturday that we've both got free to come in shopping properly would be next mid-August so we thought we'd go one by one during lunch - we're both working near Grafton Street so there are obviously a plethora of jewellers nearby just dying to sell us their sparklies - I'm sure.

Here's the thing: we're both in good jobs in offices but they have a casual dress code - neither of us would wear a suit to work but we don't look scruffy (me in a skirt and him in a casual shirt) and we have good South Dublin accents (think mid-Atlantic rather than D4). We can even afford the high Dublin prices! So why oh why must they look at us as though we shouldn't be there.

It just didn't occur to me that we ought to dress up to go shopping!

Today at lunchtime we went into one very well known, upmarket jewellers near Grafton Street where the saleswoman seemed reluctant to let us in at all, and then to let me try anything on (did she think I was going to steal something?). So we came out feeling a few different things at once:
1. fuming that they weren't taking us seriously - we're the ones with a few thousand potentially burning a hole in our pockets!
2. relieved that we didn't waste too much time in there as the service was awful and the rings very standard and more expensive than identical rings elsewhere.
3. vaguely amused that a 40 year old SHOP ASSISTANT was looking down on us!

Is that ridiculous? I don't normally care what other people think but maybe it's common knowledge that you should don a suit before going engagement ring shopping? Should you?

I know we don't come across as scruffy (and I'm not dressed like a prostitute like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) and both come from good backgrounds. Is it just me or has anyone else experienced this?

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MJOR

It happens all the time... It's nothing to do with your accents and i'm not sure why that would matter... Usually its the look of ya they don't like.

It's really annoying and I don't know why they insist on being like that.

They are salespeople losing out on sales!!

Their tough frustrating i know. Come to Cork, Keanes are great

we went there in jeans on a sat and they were super helpful.... the wans on grafton st are all th same sorry

Cyrus

Seoid wrote: »

My boyfriend and I have recently decided to get married and so the saga begins....

The first step, naturally, is to find the right engagement ring!
We're both very busy and the next Saturday that we've both got free to come in shopping properly would be next mid-August so we thought we'd go one by one during lunch - we're both working near Grafton Street so there are obviously a plethora of jewellers nearby just dying to sell us their sparklies - I'm sure.

Here's the thing: we're both in good jobs in offices but they have a casual dress code - neither of us would wear a suit to work but we don't look scruffy (me in a skirt and him in a casual shirt) and we have good South Dublin accents (think mid-Atlantic rather than D4). We can even afford the high Dublin prices! So why oh why must they look at us as though we shouldn't be there.

It just didn't occur to me that we ought to dress up to go shopping!

Today at lunchtime we went into one very well known, upmarket jewellers near Grafton Street where the saleswoman seemed reluctant to let us in at all, and then to let me try anything on (did she think I was going to steal something?). So we came out feeling a few different things at once:
1. fuming that they weren't taking us seriously - we're the ones with a few thousand potentially burning a hole in our pockets!
2. relieved that we didn't waste too much time in there as the service was awful and the rings very standard and more expensive than identical rings elsewhere.
3. vaguely amused that a 40 year old SHOP ASSISTANT was looking down on us!

Is that ridiculous? I don't normally care what other people think but maybe it's common knowledge that you should don a suit before going engagement ring shopping? Should you?

I know we don't come across as scruffy (and I'm not dressed like a prostitute like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) and both come from good backgrounds. Is it just me or has anyone else experienced this?

something that annoys me sometimes too, i dress formally for work but at weekends i wear shorts a lot, sometimes i get a bit annoyed when im not getting proper service in a shop, but its there loss i can take my money elsewhere.

you would think sales people would have copped by now, anyone can have money, esp in (admittedly now post) celtic tiger ireland.

if i was you id have made the points to her that you made her, minus the ' lowly sales person' bit

taram

Maybe send a polite letter to the manager of the shop?

I recently went to spend some inherintance on a v. pricy camera for taking up close nature shots and the sales person tried to sell me a pink little one for snapshots "when you're out clubbing or such."

In the end I had a quiet word with his manager who was horrified. It's their loss in the end.

Seoid

I'm so glad it's not just me!

I wonder if it's circular - normally dressed people don't get treated with respect so they shop elsewhere, proving the salespeople's expectations that normally dressed people aren't going to buy anything. Meanwhile suits get the attention and might end up actually buying something.

It's so true though that anyone can have money but also if you're buying an engagement ring you're likely to spend more than you normally would anyway.

It was really only as I left (in retrospect) that I realised exactly what had happened. I was distracted on the way in looking at displays - I guess I should have been more businesslike.

MJOR - if Keane's are that great and could sort me out I would make the trip to Cork!

Taram - I like the idea of a letter to the manager, I think this is the way to go and maybe if everyone who was sneered at wrote a letter they might be forced into showing a bit more respect! If it wasn't so frustrating I think it would be hilarious how shop assistants try to push you towards what they think you look like you should want or have (or away from what you shouldn't want or have).

session savage

I went through this myself. I am a designer and I went to various silver and goldsmiths to have an engagement ring made. I went al over the country and found Brian Gleeson in Shannon. I know he is accross the country but I cant reccomend him enough.
He was quite a spin away for me too but it was worth it. I've never experienced service like it. Brian is an absolute gentleman and will talk to you personally. He has loads of stuff made already but will do anything he can to accomodate you. He has a web site if you google his name.

Anyway, good luck and congrats to ye both.:)

MIN2511

Ha... It seems we all have similar experiences...
I get looked at more because i is black! Recently bought a nice bag for myself, when i got into the shop i noticed security following me(it was very rude!)... Once i paid for the bag, he disappeared! I was raging, reported it to one of the managers.

Eoin

Weird, I was very well looked after when I went engagement ring shopping in and around Grafton Street, and I dress very casually for work also.

bangersandmash

You're not alone in this experience. It's something that seems to be particularly prevalent in jewellers around Grafton St, but the same attitude has become prevalent in Dublin in recent years.

Essentially by treating you in this way, the staff are attempting to convince you that their retail outlet has some kind of "prestige" attached to it, and that you should be grateful if they let you spend money in their store. It's a commonly-used sales strategy present everywhere from clothes stores to car dealerships. You'll probably find that it is implicitly part of the store's culture, and not the case that the shop assistant didn't like you personally. It's also very unlikely to have anything to do with your accent or dress sense, so I wouldn't read anything into that.

Given that people are beginning to dramatically rein in their spending habits, I fear these shops might have to adjust their sales strategies. High-end clothes shops already have permanent "50% off" posters on their windows. It's probably only a matter of time before the jewellers follow suit. I'd suggest you just forget about the experience, and focus on buying a ring somewhere where your custom might actually be valued - quite possibly abroad.

cch

Strange, wasn't my experience when ring shopping (even around Grafton street!), I remember it being the least pressurized type selling I'd ever encountered, as if they know the hard sell will scare people off for this purchase in particular, whereas for rings people will go away and think about it and come back if they really want it.
The sales assistants we encountered would answer questions but not really blather on, everything was initiated by us. Say I was looking at a white gold ring I had to ask did it come in platinum, whereas any other type of shop would push the upgrade! Maybe you're confusing their restrained selling technique with rudeness...?

Seoid

I found Brian Gleeson online at http://www.gleesongoldsmiths.ie and I do like his style. I think it would be so much nicer to have something custom made and designed!

MIN2511 - something like that happened to me once - most embarrassing day of my life, I was about 13 and shopping for the first time by myself for a bra and the more I tried to be subtle about buying a bra the more the security man followed me around - he actually said to me, 'don't do anything stupid now' - and I was so mortified I just left! I wish I'd been able to report him, I hope that security guard got a bollocking from the manager!

I suppose it really does depend on the shop culture - we went to a couple of other shops in the same area and the staff were really great.

Bangersandmash - I have heard of this concept but in relation to wines rather than jewellery. Guess I just wasn't expecting it.

barbiegirl

I was dressed casually on a Saturday and hungover to hell. The Design Yard treated me excellently :-) But I have got that attitude particularly in expensive dress shops, it drives me mad. But I just walk out and never return and pass on the info as to the bad treatment to friends. The worst was the little shop in Ranelagh, across from Bewleys, they designs were horrible and the fact I was in jeans and t shirt did not take from the fact I had €500 for a dress for my brothers wedding. I walked out and never returned. Also Marian Gale in Donnybrook, but I think there it was a combination of my size at the time, a 16 and the fact I was dressed down. By the way I earn at least 3 times what these shop assistants do.

Eoin

barbiegirl wrote: »

By the way I earn at least 3 times what these shop assistants do.

I'm sorry, but comments like that make you come across worse than any snobby shopkeeper.

barbiegirl

Eoin,
That comment was to reflect the fact that you should never in any walk of life or indeed business dealing judge a book by its cover. The ladies who were rude to me felt that I did not have the spending power to purchase in their shop. That is where the snootiness comes from. I was simply pointing out the fact that for all their airs and graces, and basically treating casually dressed shoppers as if they've just walked in with holes in their shoes, that my credit card and bank account has a lot more potential to buy than theirs.

PurpleBerry

Seoid wrote: »

My boyfriend and I have recently decided to get married and so the saga begins....

The first step, naturally, is to find the right engagement ring!
We're both very busy and the next Saturday that we've both got free to come in shopping properly would be next mid-August so we thought we'd go one by one during lunch - we're both working near Grafton Street so there are obviously a plethora of jewellers nearby just dying to sell us their sparklies - I'm sure.

Here's the thing: we're both in good jobs in offices but they have a casual dress code - neither of us would wear a suit to work but we don't look scruffy (me in a skirt and him in a casual shirt) and we have good South Dublin accents (think mid-Atlantic rather than D4). We can even afford the high Dublin prices! So why oh why must they look at us as though we shouldn't be there.

It just didn't occur to me that we ought to dress up to go shopping!

Today at lunchtime we went into one very well known, upmarket jewellers near Grafton Street where the saleswoman seemed reluctant to let us in at all, and then to let me try anything on (did she think I was going to steal something?). So we came out feeling a few different things at once:
1. fuming that they weren't taking us seriously - we're the ones with a few thousand potentially burning a hole in our pockets!
2. relieved that we didn't waste too much time in there as the service was awful and the rings very standard and more expensive than identical rings elsewhere.
3. vaguely amused that a 40 year old SHOP ASSISTANT was looking down on us!

Is that ridiculous? I don't normally care what other people think but maybe it's common knowledge that you should don a suit before going engagement ring shopping? Should you?

I know we don't come across as scruffy (and I'm not dressed like a prostitute like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman) and both come from good backgrounds. Is it just me or has anyone else experienced this?

Wow, just wow.

First of all you have no idea how far I'm looking down on you right now! Nothing to do with money, you just come across as a total 100% snob of the higest order. Deity help all/any of the suppliers who sign on to deal with you!

For the record when my OH and I got engaged we also went ring-looking and we were just browsing. Neither of us felt looked down upon and we certainly weren't dressed up. (oh, and neither of us are from "D4" either)

Maybe you just expect everyone to kiss your feet now that you've become "a bride"?

MJOR

They are so nice they have three shops one in cork one in killarney and one in limerick. I can honestly say we were like jeans and tops and had no appointment on the first Sat in Dec and they were great. The quality of the diamond was excellent as they are just really nice. There is a jeweller on Patrick St in Cork called askoy that custom amke their jewellery too they are great.

My OH is from Dub and we bought the ring in Cork.

Seoid

Neesa wrote: »

Wow, just wow.

First of all you have no idea how far I'm looking down on you right now! Nothing to do with money, you just come across as a total 100% snob of the higest order. Deity help all/any of the suppliers who sign on to deal with you!

For the record when my OH and I got engaged we also went ring-looking and we were just browsing. Neither of us felt looked down upon and we certainly weren't dressed up. (oh, and neither of us are from "D4" either)

Maybe you just expect everyone to kiss your feet now that you've become "a bride"?

I'm really taken aback by your comment! I would never expect anyone to fawn over me but we instantly felt like we weren't welcome in the shop from the moment we walked in the door - I didn't understand it. It really was just this one place and the only thing I could think of was that it was because of the way we were dressed on a weekday.
I just wondered if anyone else had the same experience and, like I said, everywhere else we've gone they've been great.

aviendha

Neesa wrote: »

Wow, just wow.

For the record when my OH and I got engaged we also went ring-looking and we were just browsing. Neither of us felt looked down upon and we certainly weren't dressed up. (oh, and neither of us are from "D4" either)

Maybe you just expect everyone to kiss your feet now that you've become "a bride"?

just because you had a good ring-shopping experience doesn't mean that every other newly-engaged couple has.... sheesh.. give the girl a break, she's entitled to expect a level of service on a par with the amount of money she is prepared to spend, you should expect more than a "you-want-fries-with-that" attititude when you go to a Michelin-star restaurant....

bangersandmash

Neesa wrote: »

First of all you have no idea how far I'm looking down on you right now! Nothing to do with money, you just come across as a total 100% snob of the higest order. Deity help all/any of the suppliers who sign on to deal with you!

Pot meet kettle.

Neesa wrote: »

Maybe you just expect everyone to kiss your feet now that you've become "a bride"?

It's nice that you had a pleasant experience, and some of the comments on this thread about retail workers have definitely been out of line. Unless we're talking about a manager or senior staff member, these people are just doing their job and are likely mimicking more senior employees. However, as I said before this attitude is not limited to wedding-related stores. I have several friends who have admitted to use the same sales tactics in the past - intimidating customers into making quick decision as they feel they're "out of their depth". And to be honest it's not a nice experience.

To the OP - your comments about your earning power and "mid-Atlantic accent" (I used to think I had the same accent, but let's be honest, a "good South Dublin" accent still sounds like a paddy to anybody from the US) are going to grate with many people. But I'd reiterate that this probably wasn't anything personal, simply a selling tactic. Consider buying your ring in a store where you feel more comfortable.

MJOR

bangersandmash wrote: »

Pot meet kettle.

It's nice that you had a pleasant experience, and some of the comments on this thread about retail workers have definitely been out of line. Unless we're talking about a manager or senior staff member, these people are just doing their job and are likely mimicking more senior employees. However, as I said before this attitude is not limited to wedding-related stores. I have several friends who have admitted to use the same sales tactics in the past - intimidating customers into making quick decision as they feel they're "out of their depth". And to be honest it's not a nice experience.

I worked in retail for twelve years from a 4 hour a week Saturaday girl right up to a good earning manager( not boasting just telling it how it is in terms of how much some retail managers get paid) in very sales focused environment. I did every kind of retail from fashion to Telecoms to cosmetics.

It is the managers resposnsibilty to ensure all the customers get treated well and are treated fairly regardless of attire ,colour creed or gender- but surely a sales person by their very job title should be helpful and want to close the sale?

I have a piece of advice for all reatil workers- If you don't want to work in retail then don't be there.... Its not worth it!

whippet

as a former sales rep (business to business not retail) ... any customer who could potentially buy was treated like a king/queen end of story, and this process continued to ensure that the next time they needed to buy I was foremost in their minds.

I bought 'our' engagment ring on a saturday morning before I headed off to play a football match, I was dressed in a tracksuit and dirty runners with a kit bag on my shoulder. It was in a well known shop just off grafton street and I must say I got the treatment that any panicky young gent wanted when he really didn't have a clue what he was buying.

As soon as they realised I was genuine it was plain sailing.

JohnBoy

just another vote for keanes in cork.

dealt with them recently and they couldnt have been nicer