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Child Item

How would your personal ad read?

IvaBigWun

For my 1000th post (there's so many people I wanna thank, Pighead for the inspiration, AbiGayle for the naughtiness, Bubbles for the PC virus) Im going with this:

How you would describe yourself in a personal ad?

Im going with:

Former boy-scout, late 20's, has sex drive of a stallion. Looking for non-committed (must be sane) non-committely relationship with someone not related to me and not made out of rubber.

Can pay for it with a combination of cash and butter vouchers

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greatgoal

desperate middle aged man,looking fannies...PLEASE:D

Adam

Agonist wrote: »

Heh, took me a full 22 minutes to get a pm. You guys are pussies :P

I'm usually way quicker...

:pac:

Adam

greatgoal wrote: »

desperate middle aged man,looking for/at/in/around/up fannies...PLEASE:D

FYP :cool:

Marksie

Kiera wrote: »

:eek: Yes you are!

LOL Old geezer, seeks life support machine

KnifeWRENCH

I'm mysterious...........

Please form an orderly queue.

ejmaztec

Girl with wheelbarrow wanted - to carry huge balls.

greatgoal

yes

taidghbaby

man seeking hot female twins........

LadyE

Turd Ferguson wrote: »

I have a bunny...but you gotta find it!!

Call me!

Box number: 189064654654

Sherifu

'Hole & heartbeat required...'

Creamy Goodness

you walk? let's talk.

Call Me Jimmy

Hopelessly unattractive male seeks a quote unquote roide. PM if feeling charitable.

Adam

Cremo wrote: »

you walk? let's talk.

You ride? Let's ride.

ejmaztec

Pole-dancer required (pole will be provided).

HansMoleman

Fat, flatulent, over-40, cigar-smoking redneck seeks sexy woman with big hair to cook, clean and pick up unemployment checks.

taidghbaby

ejmaztec wrote: »

Pole-dancer required (pole will be provided).

you forgot the grease!!!

Red Hand

ejmaztec wrote:

Pole-dancer required (pole will be provided).

Vladislav Wrystejies is getting a bit old now, no?

Male mid 20s seeks female shaped pyschiatric complex.

ejmaztec

taidghbaby wrote: »

you forgot the grease!!!

The pole to which I refer needs no grease.:P

ejmaztec

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Vladislav Wrystejies is getting a bit old now, no?

When the eyesight is a bit dodgy, it wouldn't make much difference :pac:

taidghbaby

ejmaztec wrote: »

The pole to which I refer needs no grease.:P

my bad :rolleyes:

R0ot

Male, early twenties, has sex drive of a 1st year nursing student seeks female nymphomaniac for crazy nights of foamy fun, short people need not apply.

GirlInterrupted

Jeremiah 16:1 wrote: »

Male mid 20s seeks female shaped pyschiatric complex.

Funny:pac:

Red Hand

GirlInterrupted wrote: »

Funny:pac:

The enigmatic Mr Pacman. Hard to tell whether he is being sarcastic or suffering from mirth related lockjaw.:D

ejmaztec

25 Year-old male seeks rich woman in her early 50s with a view to marriage. Must have weak heart and be easily scared.

anniehoo

LadyE wrote: »

Must also teach me to spell

Fcek taht!

Robster The Lobster wrote: »

Have Viagra
Seek Woman of any kind
between 18 and 80

Am somewhere in between and a bit less

Marksie wrote: »

Im old
OKies

Male 40s, yoga expert, can BJ himself. Not looking for anyone

Great...i have a crap gag reflex

taidghbaby wrote: »

man seeking hot female twins........

Cant help with this one..but have numerous personalities after a few vodkas will that do?

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

Hopelessly unattractive male seeks a quote unquote roide. PM if feeling charitable.

Dont give to charity unless you can take off your leg at traffic lights and stand for at least 8 hrs....well????

taidghbaby

anniehoo wrote: »

Cant help with this one..but have numerous personalities after a few vodkas will that do?

quote]

hmmmmm....well since ya'r the best offer so far i'll except a hot friend

Tha Gopher

Male, 20s, Limerick, seeks alibi for night of July 7th between 9pm and 11pm. Preferably with no criminal record (women native to Limerick need not apply)

Male, 20s, eager for companionship following long incarceration. All yours all of the time (except Sunday mornings, when I have to sign on the register.) Enjoys music and travelling (please note: parole forbids travel to Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and anywhere else Gary Glitter recommended)

meh....Im tired.

anniehoo

taidghbaby wrote: »

i'll except a hot friend

Thats sooo generous of ya...a hot "friend"..how does that work exactly?

taidghbaby

anniehoo wrote: »

Thats sooo generous of ya...a hot "friend"..how does that work exactly?

you, me and a hot female friend :cool:

anniehoo

taidghbaby wrote: »

you, me and a hot female friend :cool:

You,me +hot female friend = a helluva lot of vodkas

*call 1890 365 365*