Acid_Violet wrote: » Slag me when you reach puberty.
Another of his gems: Woman: Winston, you are very drunk. WInston: And Bessie, you are very ugly but in the morning I shall be sober.
Reganio 2 wrote: » You talking to me? Oh god your so funny, a hard man on an internet forum well done to you.
Mossy Monk wrote: » Seems to me that Acid_Violet was posting a witty comeback, just like everybody else on the thread
wandatowell wrote: » Gordon Strachan what a man Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today? Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there. Reporter: "Gordon, what will you take from today?" Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yoghurt to finish, the expiry date is today. Reporter: There goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it? Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump off a bridge. Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here? Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. So I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick - down negative man, down. Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around? Strachan: No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless. Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up? Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret. Reporter: "What is your impression of Jermaine Pennant?" Strachan: "I don't do impressions" Reporter: So Gordon, any changes then? Strachan: Naw, still 5ft 6, ginger and a big nose! Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play? Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself! What a funny guy
Reganio 2 wrote: » Yeah I only thought of that when I gave it a minute. Sorry Acid_Violet, I am very sensitive .
dilallio wrote: » My buddy tried unsucessfully to chat up the same snobbish girl 3 times in a niteclub one night. At the end of the nite, he walked over to her and said: "You know, I really wanted to talk to u, because u remind me of a famous movie-star" "Really? " she replied. "Which movie-star" while flicking her hair back. "Lassie" he replied.
Climate Expert wrote: » How pathetic. More so that you seem impressed by it.
cabrwab wrote: » Slightly Racist but funny none the less. Forgot about it earlier. Circa 2000 tara st train station Northbound platform. Little scumbags giving a chinese guy a horrible time. Eventually somebody pipes up eh fu*k off you little shi*e's" They bugger off. One of the staff of CIE walks up to the visibly shaken chinese guy ask's him is he alright. THe chinese bloke says you weren't around when i needed your help so ill survive. The cie guy says "Ok.........(looks at him) you are the weakest CHINK(chinc, not sure correct spelling) goodbye". You could see people not wanting to laugh. But everybody found it funny.
JP Liz wrote: » Man: "Haven't we met before?" Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down." Man: "So what do you do for a living?" Woman: "I'm a female impersonator." Man: "What sign were you born under?" Woman: "No Parking." Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilised!" Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason." Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone." Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts." Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing." Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today." Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you." Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there?"
truecrippler wrote: » 'YORE MA!' = Greatest comeback ever.
Rb wrote: » That's not remotely funny tbh.
Climate Expert wrote: » I paused for a moment then grabbed his throat and rammed him against the wall and whispered 'If you ever say that again to me I'll end your life'.
Mena wrote: » "Oh yeah, Reilly? Well, the Jerk Store called, and they're running out of you."
wandatowell wrote: » Gary Lineker: So Gordon, if you were English, what formation would you play? Strachan: If I was English I'd top myself!
JP Liz wrote: » Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore." Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilised!" Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
mahamageehad wrote: » Best Ever!! *memorises* Yes, they will be used in future!!
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
