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Child Item

What was the last inanimate object you swore at?

Pighead

And what did you call it?

Pighead went absolutely stone raving bananas with the lawnmower on Saturday afternoon. Its one of those lawnmowers were you pull the cord and the motor roars into action, or doesn't as was the case on Saturday.

Threw a right tantrum at the fcuker and called it every name under the sun, including the C word (apologised to it later on, there was no need to throw out the C word.).

Questioned its parentage and even called it fat and ugly at one stage. Waited a few seconds for a reaction, but nothing, which made Pighead even angrier. Then Mammy Pighead came out, asked what was wrong, pulled on the cord and Mr Smarmypants Lawnmower roared into action. Called Mam a smug bitch and stormed off into the sitting room muttering empty promises about never coming to visit the folks ever again.

So what was the last inaminate object that caused you to go all Basil Fawlty?

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Dudess

Sherifu wrote: »

Take the cd, put it in the drive. Turn on, press ok until the end. Take cd out. You're welcome.

English please, nerd!

Toto Wolfcastle

Dudess wrote: »

English please, nerd!

Take the cd, fcuk it out the window, and remember that not understanding everything about computers just means that you don't spot more errors with the machine!*

*This is a good thing. It saves you many sleepless nights of worrying.

RandolphEsq

The PS3 wireless controller. I had got up to check my food in the oven (Big Al's Chicken Breast; taste's great!) and left the controller on the table beside the sitting room door. When I returned and sat back down in my comfy bean bag I looked around and saw the ''Effing kunt'' of a controller 2 metres from me

Jay P

Stupid xbox. Pro evo is well hard. Many words were uttered but I later retracted them. Included was the r word. I need someone to beat me up for that

Kinetic^

Dudess wrote: »

English please, nerd!

Silly wimmin!!! :rolleyes: Basically what Sherifu said. Even you could do it!!! :pac:

Adyx

The stupid crap touchscreen tills in work that are so unresponsive when I went to press 2 x vodka and 1 red bull all I got was 2 x red bull. :mad: Luckily the music was quite loud so the customers didn't hear the obscenities directed at the till.

dsmythy

An icon on the computer for not showing me as being connected to this interwebz thingy.

ScumLord

Oh the Wii, I can see the router, I'll connect to the router but I'll be damned if I'll let you do anything online.

In fairness it's got the bare minimum of a signal but still if you don't want to connect say so and stop tempting me with intermittent connection.

Dudess

Kinetic^ wrote: »

Silly wimmin!!! :rolleyes: Basically what Sherifu said. Even you could do it!!! :pac:

But what CD? My Pussycat Dolls CD?

KnifeWRENCH

An ATM machine that didn't have tenners OR twenties in it. :mad: I had to take out E50 to buy juice!

ScumLord

square_igloo wrote: »

An ATM machine that didn't have tenners OR twenties in it. :mad: I had to take out E50 to buy juice!

Hate that too, the worst thing is it lets you make your selection before telling you it only does 50s. Then there's amounts listed that it will never give out the stubborn ****.

kowloon

Faith wrote: »

My weighing scales. You can't put on 2lbs in one day! Piece of shít.

Weigh yourself before and after you go for a meal and accompanying pi55 up.
Then come back here and report your findings. :pac:

kowloon

Abigayle wrote: »

He just made me some tea and left the sugar out. The thick fuck.

A midnight bludgeoning offense if ever I heard of one.

Xavi6

The toilet roll holder because I just finished going for a dump and the fucker was empty.

Luckily there's a box of tissues on the sink.

'Ol Jack Chance

square_igloo wrote: »

An ATM machine that didn't have tenners OR twenties in it. :mad: I had to take out E50 to buy juice!

best thing is to react in a calm collected manner. rent a truck, get some rope, somehow hook said rope around the offending teller machine and pull it out of the wall. that'll learn 'em!

KnifeWRENCH

'Ol wrote:

best thing is to react in a calm collected manner. rent a truck, get some rope, somehow hook said rope around the offending teller machine and pull it out of the wall. that'll learn 'em!

It was in the Jervis Shopping Centre, I doubt people would appreciate me driving a truck through there!

Besides I can't drive yet

elmolesto

The computer

mookishboy

The Hammer that i just hit my knee with! which induced a psychotic episode in which i tried to beat the hammer to death on the ground :mad: Didn't work

'Ol Jack Chance

square_igloo wrote: »

It was in the Jervis Shopping Centre, I doubt people would appreciate me driving a truck through there!

Besides I can't drive yet

ah well thats were u went wrong shouldve gone up to the top of the jervis at the car park entrance theres 2 atms there both of them nearly always packed to the brim with tenners

Max_Damage

Well I managed to drop a car engine on my finger this morning (don't ask how). The pain is quite unreal.

The Bollox

mookishboy wrote: »

The Hammer that i just hit my knee with! which induced a psychotic episode in which i tried to beat the hammer to death on the ground :mad: Didn't work

the ground was probably confused, thinking of what it did wrong to deserve such punishment. I hope you apologised thereafter

ScumLord

'Ol wrote:

best thing is to react in a calm collected manner. rent a truck, get some rope, somehow hook said rope around the offending teller machine and pull it out of the wall. that'll learn 'em!

That's a bit OTT and time consuming. Far better to hit it a couple of slaps so it shuts down and ruins everyone else's day too.

GirlInterrupted

Every morning I wake up with the plaster cast on leg/ankle the air goes blue, seriously fed up and bored with it.

Fall_Guy

An ash-tray placed precariously beside my bed. Every morning I step out of bed, place my foot on it, flip ash-tray and contents of said ash tray on the floor. I then proceed to clear up contents of ash-tray and place them back in the ash-tray, leaving it in the same place for me to step on again as I return to my leaba that evening. As i repeat the ash-tray flippage I tend to curse at it, which the profanities becoming more intense with each passing day.

I can't help but think that I'm really cursing at myself for being so stupid on so many levels. The greatest level of said stupidity is exemplified by the fact that I don't even smoke. This ash-tray has been sitting there for about two-weeks after a few of my mates were in the room smoking. Still, stupid f*cking ashtray!

passive

Fall_Guy wrote: »

An ash-tray placed precariously beside my bed. Every morning I step out of bed, place my foot on it, flip ash-tray and contents of said ash tray on the floor. I then proceed to clear up contents of ash-tray and place them back in the ash-tray, leaving it in the same place for me to step on again as I return to my leaba that evening. As i repeat the ash-tray flippage I tend to curse at it, which the profanities becoming more intense with each passing day.

I can't help but think that I'm really cursing at myself for being so stupid on so many levels. The greatest level of said stupidity is exemplified by the fact that I don't even smoke. This ash-tray has been sitting there for about two-weeks after a few of my mates were in the room smoking. Still, stupid f*cking ashtray!

...

AckwelFoley

My computer and printer... almost everyday.

PlayGirl

my phone

[Deleted User]

It has been about a year since I directed my rage at an inanimate object.
It involved a plate and the offenders vechile.
I nearly did myself an injury.

orestes

The door I stubbed my toe on last night while taking a mid night leak. I tore the front off my baby toe pretty bad and the language I directed at the bastid of a door nearly caused the paint on the wall to melt.

It's actually the same door I put my fist through a while ago while drunk and p!ssed off. It's on now mutherfukker :mad:

sdanseo

My computer, several times daily. Given my sig, I'm surprised it doesn;t work properly. Ah well, time for a new one :P