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Boyfriend gets too drunk

LegacyUser

My boyfriend and i go out all the time , we enjoy our nights out .. thats all good. But when he goes out with his mates he comes home an absolute mess , so drunk he talks to himself , sometimes wets the bed and the next day never remembers not much/any from the night before ... I cant help wondering what if some girl came over and tried to kiss him and he cant remember that it ever happened ...I no i come across insecure but i cant help it. does anyone else share the same situation and how do you deal with it ?

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LegacyUser

Hi Mods

I posted a reply earlier just wondering if its gonna get posted or did i say something wrong in it ? It was a few hours ago ...

NoQuarter

LaVidaLoca wrote: »

Suffice it to say OP that your boyfriend may have a drinking problem and you might wanna talk to him about it.

bahahaha, get....a.....grip!

drinkin problem because you go get hammered with your mates, someone call a taxi for the PC brigade!

LONG LIVE DRUNKEN LEVEL 4!!!!

Marksie

ohlord123 wrote: »

Hi Mods

I posted a reply earlier just wondering if its gonna get posted or did i say something wrong in it ? It was a few hours ago ...

Sometimes the mods are busy..real life and all.

Overheal

Marksie wrote: »

Sometimes the mods are busy..real life and all.

Pfft. You should know better :pac:

His insecurities or mine ?
He has never ever done anything like it since but my father cheated on my mother their entire marriage and eventually walked out on us and although ive never ever had a boyfriend cheat on me it always still at the back of my mind...

Try not to hold your father's actions against your boyfriend's.

stackerman

ohlord123 wrote: »

I worry cause years ago we were fighting on a night out and he started hugging this girl to get at me and then just didnt remember a thing about it the next day ..

What a plonker !! He's childish, not knowing when to stop drinking and acting like above, Get rid !

Toots

helimachoptor wrote: »

To quote... Nail, Hammer,Head,

When out with the Gf I have a few beers and a bit of craic but i'm always well behaved because i feel i have to be, maybe thats weird...

Out with the lads and there's been times when I haven't been able to get out of bed for 2 days afterwards

That's fair enough if he's going out, getting ossified and then going home to his own/a partner in crime's house, but if he's coming home to the OP in a complete state then this is not cool and I can totally see why she's angry. I mean sleeping in the bed with your OH and the next thing he pisses himself and she's supposed to justify that with 'ah well he was out having a laugh with the lads???' :eek:

If he's still living at home or in his own place, then she should probably just leave him to it if she's not having to look after him and deal with his mess. But if they live together then this is not on! I've never come home to my BF like that, and never would. There were one or two nights after we moved in together when he came home so drunk I had to hold his hair while he puked for the night, but seriously he paid for it the next day and he knows he'd be taking his life in his hands doing it again

However if I'm not there and as long as he doesn't hurt himself or break anything I don't mind. I don't think the issue here is about the OP nagging her BF, but he should at least have the self control and respect for her not to get so off his face if he's coming home to her, cos then she's got to deal with it!

ohlord123 wrote: »

But when he goes out with his mates he comes home an absolute mess, so drunk he talks to himself, sometimes wets the bed and the next day never remembers not much/any from the night before

Jesus, how can u share the bed with him after the drinks? Is he doing it a lot?
I would leave right away this type of p*g, what's wrong with the people lately, why can't they have only few drinks.......it' beyond my understanding

AARRRGH

Get this image blown up poster size and put it on the wall -

http://www.hivandhepatitis.com/2006icr/ddw/images/cirrhosis-liver.jpg

He'll cut back on the booze.

King of Kings

LaVidaLoca wrote: »

Just becuase that kind of behaviour is considered normal in Ireland does not make it alright.

In most other countries in the world this stuff would be considered far beyond the pale of acceptable behaviour.

my god - you'd drive a person to drink with you moral high horse.
go join the green party and leave us in peace.

BTW - what countries? There is this notion that ireland and the Uk is a haven of drunken debauchery (they are ) unique to the globe. most places I've travelled have had similar "lets get wasted attitude" - with the exception of france and spain I've a tough time thinking of another country that doesn't over indulge.

and you're comment:

LaVidaLoca wrote: »

Suffice it to say OP that your boyfriend may have a drinking problem and you might wanna talk to him about it.

talk about over reaction.

I'm going to ask the mods to take away your boards name cos it's obviously a mistake.

AARRRGH

^-- I think it's fair to say if you are getting so drunk you regularly piss yourself and can't remember things, you've got a problem. Certainly his drinking is affecting his life and those around him. Not good.

NoQuarter

dublindude wrote: »

^-- I think it's fair to say if you are getting so drunk you regularly piss yourself and can't remember things, you've got a problem. Certainly his drinking is affecting his life and those around him. Not good.

yeah a bladder problem and a memory problem, not a drinking problem!

nobody is condoning pissin in the bed, were trying to say that just because he cant remember the night before doesnt mean he's off cheating!

DIRTY69

ohlord123 wrote: »

My boyfriend and i go out all the time , we enjoy our nights out .. thats all good. But when he goes out with his mates he comes home an absolute mess , so drunk he talks to himself , sometimes wets the bed and the next day never remembers not much/any from the night before ... I cant help wondering what if some girl came over and tried to kiss him and he cant remember that it ever happened ...I no i come across insecure but i cant help it. does anyone else share the same situation and how do you deal with it ?

My girlfriend drinks too much... maybe we should hook them up, and I'll take you out for a coffee sometime!? Seriously, ya I have had to deal with this myself. Very irrational behaviour. Might be in the pub watching the match, both of us, and she would get 2-3 drinks while I finish 1.... I mean I'm not the fastest drinker in the west but still! A lot of arguements, crazy behaviour, tears, anger ......I guess at the end of the day, my advice would be that there could be an underlying reason. Hopefully there is one which ye both can understand and discuss. Try and understand each other better then maybe you'll know why he gets so drunk.

LaVidaLoca

BTW - what countries? There is this notion that ireland and the Uk is a haven of drunken debauchery (they are ) unique to the globe. most places I've travelled have had similar "lets get wasted attitude"

Thats right, dear. Denial will work every time. Did it ever occur to you that this 'notion' as you describe it, might be so common because its actually, um, true?

You obviously haven't travelled anywhere outside a little bubble of Irish pubs scattered across the continent. Most everybody but the Russians, some parts of the former Eastern Bloc and some of the Germans drinks less than we do. Get used to it.

And to the poster who suggest I join the Green Party. I dont have to, even Fianna Fail admits we have a drink problem. Thats why they're passing an (ill-advised) bill to try and deal with it.

We are far ahead in our drinking of every European country. Dont beleive me, check this out:

http://www.finfacts.ie/irelandbusinessnews/publish/article_10006077.shtml

and outside Europe probably only Russia drinks more or equal to us. Im not sure if were the world's drunkest country, but we are certainly up there. And denial is no way to deal with it.

LegacyUser

Are we talking about countries here or what i actually posted about ???
He doesnt go out with his mates that often in 4 years he has wet the bed maybe 5 times.
What i was basically asking for was if any one else had a partner who went out on the lash and generally woke up not remembering the night before and if i had anything really to worry about about these lads nights out?
I dont think i remember asking if Ireland is a drink abusive country ......

Beruthiel

Get back on topic people!
B

LaVidaLoca

My fault. Was just cautioning you against posters who would apologise for his behaviour by saying he's just "havin' a laugh wid de lads"

It's possible he has a problem with booze, or it's possible he just gets smashed once in a while. But if he's regularly pissing the bed and has no idea where he's been (say once a week or every two weeks), it might be cause for concern.

Either way, being smashed is no excuse for acting like an ass. You have a right to be pissed off, and you should tell him so.