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"Endearing" pet names you have for your ex?

gimmick

Bumped into the girl who broke my heart sometyhing rotten a few years ago the other night. Was having a chat with her, all very civil, apart from her patronising the hell out of me and me taking it as usual - I started grinning out of the blue. I had remembered what I referred to her for years after we broke up - C**tface From Hell (not bitter at all over it you understand

). Of course I didn't tell her this, and the civil chat went on.

Anyone else have certain names for former GFs/BFs which are mildly amusing?

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kev_s88

slutforce!

for obvious reasons.

briantwin

HRH Horror Gash III

l3LoWnA

Granite Balls (long story)

ibh

We still call my friend's ex Pigvomit. It's because she looks like a pig and makes you want to vomit. We always called her this, my friend only started after they broke up.

John Mason

mine is pretty tame compared to them "idiot ex boy" or "that wanker with the hairy girlfriend"

smashey

Bitch.

Fratton Fred

hhmmm, what do you call someone who tricked you into marrying her, had an affair and made you part with £60k to split up?

I'm now married to someone far better looking and who is 12 years younger than her so, "laugh in your face bitch" is what I tend to call her.:D

Snarler

Fratton Fred wrote: »

hhmmm, what do you call someone who tricked you into marrying her, had an affair and made you part with £60k to split up?

I'm now married to someone far better looking and who is 12 years younger than her so, "laugh in your face bitch" is what I tend to call her.:D

She still got 60k but so I bet she isn't too worried.

Snarler

I call my ex Rebecca Flynn as thats her name and we left on good terms.

WindSock

Little Willy wanker

Fratton Fred

Snarler wrote: »

She still got 60k but so I bet she isn't too worried.

the swap was worth twice that:D

Jack Vegas

Skittletits Periodhair

She wasnt so well endowed in the chest region and had a ****ty red dye job on her hair when I was with her.

Sleepy

Fratton Fred wrote: »

hhmmm, what do you call someone who tricked you into marrying her, had an affair and made you part with £60k to split up?

Smarter than you?

Fratton Fred

Sleepy wrote: »

Smarter than you?

definately, but she had great tits

TheB

My ex ?? ... "MyBiggestMistakeEver" or.. "PleaseDon'tMentionHimICan'tBearToRememberHowAwfulHeWas" or.. "WTFWasIDoingWithHimMan"

Mostly I just try to blank the freak out of my memory..

MikeHoncho

Yore Ma.

watna

Fratton Fred wrote: »

hhmmm, what do you call someone who tricked you into marrying her, had an affair and made you part with £60k to split up?

I'm now married to someone far better looking and who is 12 years younger than her so, "laugh in your face bitch" is what I tend to call her.:D

Hmm, how do you trick someone in to marrying you? just in case i ever need to!

Fratton Fred

watna wrote: »

Hmm, how do you trick someone in to marrying you? just in case i ever need to!

cook, wash up, do the ironing and perform acts of a sexual nature you may not like, let your man out on the raz whenever he feels like it etc etc etc

until you are married

then turn into satan.

But you need a great body to get away with it

John Mason

Fratton Fred wrote: »

cook, wash up, do the ironing and perform acts of a sexual nature you may not like, let your man out on the raz whenever he feels like it etc etc etc

until you are married

then turn into satan.

But you need a great body to get away with it

you wouldnt be a little bit bitter there, by any chance Fred

_blank_

MikeHoncho wrote: »

Yore Ma.

Deadly.

I just have "Bitchface"

and "The Psycho"

DICK FINGERS

I've never actually had a proper girlfriend:(

i suppose its because i've been to busy working on the farm,
but recently i broke both legs in a car accident so i now have plenty off time to find one now( i hope).

I do own a cat but i've never given it a name i just call it cat or pussy

AlmightyCushion

DICK FINGERS wrote: »

I do own a cat but i've never given it a name i just call it cat or pussy

That's not very nice. That must hurt his self esteem.

DICK FINGERS

I don't think he minds to much:D

He's a good rat catcher all the same

WindSock

DICK FINGERS wrote: »

I've never actually had a proper girlfriend:(

Wow, with a username like yours, you'd think you had plenty

uoluol

My ex is referred to as "Fcuksie"...

And my most recent ex.... is "Thingie".

Seraphina

what a bunch of sad bitter people you are. does insulting these people make you feel better? cause it just makes you seem pathetic really.

i call my exes by their names because i was never stupid enough to go out with any assholes.

Latchy

I agree with previous poster ,having said that a friend of mine refers to his ex as ' Damaged goods ' ..........

kowloon

Someone i knows ex is called Zool, as in "there is no **** only zool"

It amuses me

doonothing

Seraphina wrote: »

what a bunch of sad bitter people you are. does insulting these people make you feel better? cause it just makes you seem pathetic really.

i call my exes by their names because i was never stupid enough to go out with any assholes.

haha! let's see if your oh so perfect judgements of character save you from ever being hurt by someone!

assholes dont always seem like assholes, especially when trying to get into a relationship with you! how naive...

Gran Hermano

I call one of mine 'Seraphina the ignorant' as not only had she no idea
I was giving a good servicing to both her sister and best friend whilst
we were dating but she is still under the illusion I was a nice guy and that
we're still 'bestest friends'.

(Any similarity in names to the poster in post #27 above is purely coincidental).