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Child Item

Kids say the darndest things!

[Deleted User]

I was in the cousin's today and my godson fell over a little car garage and said
"ahh fcuk" and I swear I had to leave the room I thought I was gonna wet myself laughing. He is 20 months old and he is smart enough but I was so shocked and yet it seemed so normal I couldnt help but say yes he's my cousins son!:D

Have you ever overheard a child saying something sooo funny that you just couldn't help it....

Feel free to share!:)

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Kinetic^

Saw a 4/5 year old stick their middle finger up at their mother........I ROFL'd!!!!

alleepally

In a queue in Argos one day and there was mother with 2 kids, one little girl about 2 and the little brother about 6 or 7. Cue little girl lifiting up her arm to the brother and going "smell my armpit, smell my airpit, it smells..." cue laughter in the queue and little girl marching back and forth with arm in the air inviting everyone to smell her armpit!

Orange69

ctc_celtic

my kids are always saying 'daddy, daddy please feed us, were hungry', the funny thing is, i always laugh so much, that i nearly do feed them.

air_war

myself and my boyfriend were walking down a street and he had his hand resting on my bum but i'd say it looked like he had it down my trousers anyway this little boy couldn't have been older than 8 cycles by on his little bike and shouts, "G'wan, lash her out of it!"

EH.... they grow up waay to fast :eek:

FunkZ

My five year old nephew said today that he wanted to start swimming so he could go toilet in the swimming pool, jaysus!

ironictoaster

air_war wrote:

myself and my boyfriend were walking down a street and he had his hand resting on my bum but i'd say it looked like he had it down my trousers anyway this little boy couldn't have been older than 8 cycles by on his little bike and shouts, "G'wan, lash her out of it!"

EH.... they grow up waay to fast :eek:

lol agreed

Also I heard on the bus, some little kid i reckon about 11 said to woman who was leaving to get off the bus

he said "you have a nice arse, do you want to have a ride later?"

Never heard the likes of it!!!

[Deleted User]

My 4 year old cousin saying "bugger" when he dropped his transformer toy. He said it really quietly and was playing on the floor in front of me so no one else heard him.When I started roaring laughing everyone started looking at me funny.

l33t-krew

the best happened to me today ^^

I walked in on my little 2yr old.

she was watching toy story i think.

Anyway one of the characters get hit and guess what she said..

"Oh my god that son of a bit*h"

I laughed my ass off. But the best was yet to come.

She turned around put her fingers on her lips and said "bitch"

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

Where does she learn these words from?

funky penguin

I was on the bus, and just as it was coming to a stop, i noticed a child running wildly round his mother shouting "Here comes the bus, here comes the bus!"

When the bus stopped, he ran to the door. When it opened with that HISSSSssss his jaw fell open and all he said was:

"Holy Sh1t!"

[Deleted User]

"What's adult? Oh... That's when you stop growing on both ends and start growing in the middle!"

Burning Eclipse

My little one was listening to the news, about the cocaine find in cork.

Her first question was "who spilled their coke". The second was "will the water be brown and sticky".

See, innocence still exists!

jor el

When my niece was about 3 we were leaving the house one morning, and when we opened the front door we could see it was raining outside. She just stands there and goes "Aaaw, it's fúckin raining again". I had to hold back tears so she wouldn't think what she said was funny and do it again. We know where she got that from too, my mother is a habitual weather complainer.

My friend told me a story too about being at the pool with his little one, she was about 3 at the time. They were in the changing room and she farted, and then looked at him and said "Daddy I farted" in that loud way that children do when they think they're being quiet. So he said back to her "Shh, you don't have to tell everyone you know" and her reply was, even louder "I'm not telling everyone, I'm telling you". He just had to laugh, as did a few others.

angeldelight

Apparently when I was about 2 I was embarassed about something and stomped up the stairs, just stopping to say "I feel like such a pr1ck" before continuing on my way!

Femelade

My 6 yr old daughter told me last week that when she grows up she wants to work in mac donalds.....

high hopes for herself.

Jesus Wept

lol, great thread

Dreamer 7

I was playing out in the garden with my son 5 and duaghter 4. I was pretending to be an ambulance (how embarrassing!) and we were rescuing my daughter. "Its my belly" she said "my baby is coming!!" I was so shocked, my son offered to cut her open coz "thats hope babys come out" but she refused on the basis that is was only a tiny baby and she would cough it up!!

Ahhh kids there mad!

Dreamer 7

My son said to me one day "Member when i was in prison mammy" Eh no actually son i don't. "You do mam when we were in the church and the preist put water on my head!"
"Ah son thats christened not prison!!"

Acid_Violet

In a special needs school when a six year old with behavioural problems (esp. anger related) falls off the bike and says 'it's a cúnt!' in his tiny, but strong, dublin accent. He spots me trying to suppress a smile to no avail and says 'I don't see what you're ****ing laughing at!'. Both the SNA and I had to look away and rofl.

TequilaMockingBird

100-odd kids said yesterday "Is it a bit windy to go sailing Mammy?" :eek:

Shiva

Me, my five year old son and a stunningly beautiful sales assistant in Boots at Dublin Airport about 4 months ago....

Nobody else in the place, I was just handing the young lady money for the toothbrush I was buying, and the little punk says, out of the blue..."Daddy, didnt you do a huge fart this morning?" in that extra-loud conversational voice five year olds do so, so well.

I could see her trying hard to stifle the laughter

Homer

sueme wrote:

100-odd kids said yesterday "Is it a bit windy to go sailing Mammy?" :eek:

very good!!

zoemax

At a communion mass last year when the priest asked the little angels if they were going to buy a present for their parents to say thank you for the effort made to buy them new clothes amd make their big day special etc etc. One little girl puts up her hand and the priest says to her 'And what will you be buying?' to which she replies 'A bottle of wine for my mamy coz she drinks a whole one every nigh'. Priceless.

hello_kitty

Browsing in a shoe department one quiet afternoon and this little skanger child is shouting "ma where are ya" to which the mother kept replying " at the shoe-is". After the third time the child says at the top of his voice " but ma there's fcuking shoe-is everywhere"!!

Wacker

I was in the waiting room at a GP years ago, and there was this kid who must have been about three playing with some toys on the floor. When a mother comes in with her two year old (or so) daughter, the kid chirps "Hey daddy, there's another baby! She's gorgeous."

Cue everyone roaring with laughter. Young-starters, eh?

RosieJoe

In town shopping. I was minding my 2 sons as my wife shopped. Shop assistant walks past us and my 3 year old shouts "Hello Cutie" and asked me to say hello the the "Cutie"

His mother was not impressed:D

Acid_Violet

zoemax wrote:

At a communion mass last year when the priest asked the little angels if they were going to buy a present for their parents to say thank you for the effort made to buy them new clothes amd make their big day special etc etc. One little girl puts up her hand and the priest says to her 'And what will you be buying?' to which she replies 'A bottle of wine for my mamy coz she drinks a whole one every nigh'. Priceless.

Somewhat tragic more than anything else.

Me, my five year old son and a stunningly beautiful sales assistant in Boots at Dublin Airport about 4 months ago....

Nobody else in the place, I was just handing the young lady money for the toothbrush I was buying, and the little punk says, out of the blue..."Daddy, didnt you do a huge fart this morning?" in that extra-loud conversational voice five year olds do so, so well.

I could see her trying hard to stifle the laughter

His Mammy probably told him to say that if an opportunity with such a young lady ever arose.

Homer

A friends young son was engrossed in a young couple who were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?!!"

Tar.Aldarion

Kenny 5 wrote:

Saw a 4/5 year old stick their middle finger up at their mother........I ROFL'd!!!!

A three year old did that on the street in tuam to a friend, so funny!
Just becuase of my friends reaction which was a a genuine, 'what did I do?'

angeldelight

I was going out with a friend who was known for being very vain, and it had taken at least 25 minutes for him to do his hair, so we finally left the house and were stopped looking in the window of a shop. Suddenly this little boy, about 2 and a half sitting in his buggy started roaring laughing while pointing at my friend's hair. My friend was a bit puzzled and finally the little boy composed himself enough to say, very loudly "Mammy look at his hair! It's stuuuupid". Even thinking about it now makes me laugh.