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How does one adjust to rural life after city living?

niceguyniall24

Moved to a pretty small place from the big smoke recently, during the summer, and to be honest I'm wondering have I made the right move.
Is it just me or is it incredibly difficult to meet people/make new friends outside of Galway/Dublin/Limerick/Cork?
Our is it that Irish people are particularly clannish and I didn't notice it when I lived in the cities mentioned?
The place I've moved to is beautiful but I am in my 20's and I'm wondering is it better to make the city to country move later, ie when you've kids and that ready to settle down.
And to those of you who are from the country and live in any of the major cities could you go back to living in the country. If so, why and likewise if not.

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mike65

Galway/Dublin/Limerick/Cork?

Another anti-Waterford person eh?

PPL in the sticks stick to thier own, unless prompted. You proberly need to find something that you can get involved in which is run locally. Not sure what mind you. GAA? Local historial society, ramblers, mountaineering/hill walking, golf, horses.

The countyside is not the city and one should'nt expect a seamless transititon esp if young.

Mike.

watsgone

It can be hard, I would suggust joining a club of somekind.
Its a great way to make friends and it makes to feel like part of the community

niceguyniall24

Good points my experience of rural life is unless your going to be a big knob in the local GAA club there aren't a lot of options.
There is actually &uck all to do, like I said people tend to stick to themselves..does everyone make their friends in their first 20 years on earth and thats it?!
The alternative to what Im doing is to jump in the car and head back home whenever Im off work..but that kind of defeats the purpose of living here..I may as well get a job back home..
Practical suggestions folks...

Wishbone Ash

niceguyniall24 wrote:

Practical suggestions folks...

Get a Toyota Corolla or Avensis. In my experience people in rural Ireland are suspicious of anyone who drives anything else.

wow sierra

I thought Mike65 did give you plenty of useful suggestions. Im not sure where you live - dont want specifics - but is it a town? There are very few places in Ireland without a nearby pub, nite club, cinema, drama society, gym, soccer club, Gaa Club, Golf Course etc.
You dont have to be a big knob in the GAA club to get involved - they would be thrilled if you offered to help out with underage teams.
How did you amuse yourself in the city? If you played soccer - join the local team, darts - find the pub where they play etc . Dont be afraid to try new things - if one of your workmates suggests some activity/night out give it a try - you might like it.

If you live alone try house sharing - you can meet great people that way. Get your mates/family to come to visit you and go out socialising with them and they can help you break the ice with the locals.

Try to remember why you wanted to move there in the first place (unless its just work/house prices!!!). Give it a bit longer and to be honest if you really hate it still go back to the city, you only have one life.

racso1975

Hey Niall in same situation as yourself moved out of the big smoke 2 years ago and it is very difficult to make friends and i married a local!!!!!!!!!

I suppose it does take time too for locals to get to know and trust you and i find the fact that i am not a big drinker and a male in the "caring" :rolleyes: profession means that i am some kind of real wierdo

this year i'm joining the golf society so hope that will make a difference but i will also say becareful who you make friends with early on as the politics is desperate and you could get blacklisted very quickly

Anyhow best of luck to you and if i can help anymore just ask. Maybe if ya gave us an idea of where u moved to somebody could help

Rabies

niceguyniall24 wrote:

There is actually &uck all to do, like I said people tend to stick to themselves..does everyone make their friends in their first 20 years on earth and thats it?!

That is so true. I'm from a small enough town (Thurles). I have known my closest friends for about 21yrs. We have grown up together. We are all in our mid twenties now and spread all over the place. I'm moving to New Zealand in the morning, the rest are in the Lebanon, Dublin, Navan.

We all still have our own friends, but always make plans to meet up a few times a year in Thurles to get drunk and catch up.

Christ, before I even leave for NZ some friends are thinking about coming out next year

We don't anyone else coming in to our towns. Move along

Adam

I feel like the bearer of bad news, but unless your workmates help you out it will be VERY difficult. I moved to Cavan when I was still in school so that helped, but to be honest it didn't help much! My best friends in the county to date are either Dubs (as I was once upon a time) or Dutch! (dont ask...)

Country folk stick to themselves, and to be honest you're probably better off not knowing them. It is my experience that the majority, despite age, are close minded fools we would be better off without!

And what racso1975 said, about the "politics" is also very true, you'll find a lot of cliques, most of which highly dislike each other! You don't want to get stuck in the wrong one, the transition wont be easy. Violent folk too...

Tbh, I wish I wasn't here...

Big Nelly

Mirror wrote:

Country folk stick to themselves, and to be honest you're probably better off not knowing them. It is my experience that the majority, despite age, are close minded fools we would be better off without!

And what racso1975 said, about the "politics" is also very true, you'll find a lot of cliques, most of which highly dislike each other! You don't want to get stuck in the wrong one, the transition wont be easy. Violent folk too...

That has to be the biggest pile of cr*p I have ever read in my whole life?? closed off minded? think you should look at yourself in the mirror and see the only person who is small minded and closed off

I was born in Dublin, after a few year we moved to Cavan, made loads of friends there and after moved to Enniskillen, made more friends there, then moved back to Dublin for work and made friends here and alot of friends out in Dunboyne/Clonee area. I still keep in contact with mate from Enniskillen but I dont get to see them that often, I just joined a club in Cavan and head down there most weekend to join in with the lads for the crack, also a few pints have been known to be had. There is 2 guys in the club who spent there life in Dublin and have recently moved to Cavan,not town but rural area and are now part of the community and have made loads of friends. Why because they got out and about and talked to people, got involved with activity that are arranged in the area.

If you cant make friends in rural area's then I think you should be looking more at urself than at anyone else. I actually found it harder to make friends in Dublin and alot of them I made thru work. I know my local pub(even thou owned by a Cavan person) is all little groups, people that have known each other since school and they only stare at you when come into the pub and wouldn't even talk to you.

Because of that we used to head to Clonee/Dunboyne area and the locals are alot more friendly(this was a couple of years ago, alot of Dubs have moved in so I dont head out as much there), also met my GF down there and we are going out 4 years now. So if I have no prob making friends then I cant see why anyone else cant

Mirror wrote:

And what racso1975 said, about the "politics" is also very true, you'll find a lot of cliques, most of which highly dislike each other! You don't want to get stuck in the wrong one, the transition wont be easy. Violent folk too....

Are you actually serious? people get there heads kicked in every night on Dublin St cause there from here or there, I know years ago when we lived in Dublin there would be fights between guys on one st with the ones on the other one. Not read the story of the guy killed because he went to the wrong school? this was in Dublin.

Maybe when we where kids I used to play footie in Cavan and there was a big rivalry with the local clubs and there match could get pretty bad, one guy got a broken arm one time. But thats when your young, there is always a couple of stupid people that will try to fight but the majority of people have grown up so wouldnt care where you are from. Even at a fund raiser there 2 weekends ago there was people from all over 4-5 area's to help raise money and althou alot of drink was had there was not one punch in the place. A good nights fun and alot of money raised.

Was in City Centre last friday and every cornor you turn there is some muppet kicking the head off another one!!!!

petes

"This is a local shop, for local people"

It really depends on the size of the area you are from. I am from a small village and don't really hang out with anyone from there. If I am going out I would probably head to the closest town (where I went to school, although I don't hang about with old schoolmates either) or where most of my mates live and where I work. See whats available around your area. I know its a bit of a cliche but what are the local pubs like. Try getting to know a few people in there. Thats where most people in the countryside congregate anyway. Well that and Mass/Gaa.

blorg

I would say definately club/interest is the way to go. There are innumerable things from GAA to golf, hill walking or local history societies. Voluntary work another option. My parents moved out to the country when I was 14 and at first it was difficult but after a year or so they were completely integrated and much happier than in Dublin. For them it was horses. Personally, I never took a shine to it and was straight back to UCD as soon as I could at 17. Never went back ;-)

Miss Fluff

petes wrote:

"This is a local shop, for local people"

ROFL, so true.

The Sweeper

I could be wrong, but I think it can depend on the area. In recent times, a lot of City folk are expanding out into the countryside. Much of it is to do with development.

Take Wicklow town for example. It's turned into a satellite town for Dublin. There are plenty of Dublin county born and raised people now living in and around Wicklow. Many of the long-established Wicklow heads may well not appreciate that. It's not that they dislike you personally, but you're a blow-in, you're part of the developments that are sprawling all over the place, you're "not from around here" or whatever.

On a very simplistic basis, imagine someone's had a lovely view of some hills and a field out their back window for 20 years. Then the developers moved in, and now they have a lovely view of you and your gaff. That would prompt an automatic dislike in most people.

Some areas are more parochial than others, some people are more unpleasant than others - it's unrealistic to say that you can't make friends full stop, but yes it can be more difficult.

Generally, I'd say that the older you are the more difficult it becomes to make friends, full stop.

connundrum

Rabies wrote:

We don't anyone else coming in to our towns. Move along

LOL.

And give us back all of those scenery photographs you've taken.. and bring all your picnic rubbish with you!!

/runs off to build a huge wall. HUGE!

r3nu4l

So OP, what are your interests? You'll probably find a local club or society related to that interest...if not, start your own! That way, you will find a common interest with some locals.

You may not be a massive drinker but recommend that once a month your club has a social evening in the local pub, these places are small and you will find yourself being introduced to other locals which will be great...unless they are silent, banjo-playing types...

kevmy

I'm from the country living in Galway now - college and what not - and I think most of the problems city people have when they move to the country is simply the lack of people. Due to the smaller, less cramped population there is obviously - due to pure statistics - going to be less people who you would be friends with. IMO the people in the country are actually friendlier than the people in the city. For example go in to your local shop in the country and start a conversation with the shopkeeper they'll talk back and gossip a bit with ya - even if they don't know ya - whereas in the city you'd be lucky to get a grunt of the young one behind the counter.
As previously stated the pubs on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights are the places to go to meet people thats where people meet up. In the local town there will be at least one which will have a clientele your age. Don't bounce in, give out about about culchies and say the pints are no good out here in a big Dub accent. That won't go down to well. As for the GAA go to matches (if your interested in them) and be a spectator belive it or not most people in the community are only spectators and are not involved directly at the present time.
As for some of the ignorant comments made here well it's no wonder ye have been treated badly in the country if you go around with attitudes that the 'country folk' are close minded and violent.
I wonder who it is who is really close minded when they write of the whole area outside the Pale:rolleyes:

ScumLord

How big is this town? By that I mean how many pubs does it have? I live in a small town and everything revolves around the pubs. Theres only one thing for it shaft your going to have to become a raging alcho.

Go into a pub during the day and get to know your publican, find the towns up and coming 20 something lush and he'll introduce you to everyone over time. Learn how to play 25, darts and pool.

Stand outside your house and wait for someone to pass by then say "howya!" "do you live around here? I just moved here" Farmers don't talk much, it's not you their just like that.

Most towns centre around a particular trade like plastering or block laying. Just so ya know.

It's very easy to meet and chat with people in the country, it's almost impossible not to. We're gossip mad and desperette for any bit of news, so you'd better get to know your neighbours before they start filling in the blanks themselfs.

grumpytrousers

Scumlord is kinda right. That's not to do down small towns, either. I'm originally from a small town, never lived there/here much during the formative years and only recently moved back and it's darned difficult to get to know people.

If you are the relatively shy/retiring type, then you'll find it hard. Down here these parts, they simply don't *do* the shrinking violet type.

Do try and join a local club or society and muck in; the fact that you're making an effort will be noted if nothing else. Don't exepct it to be easy, don't expect to be Mr Popular in six months, but you wont' be hated either...

put it like this - having moved back to my one horse town 3 years ago, it's only *NOW* that I find randommers starting conversations with me about who bought so-and-so's house, and how much it went for!!!

shane86

Big Nelly wrote:

Are you actually serious? people get there heads kicked in every night on Dublin St cause there from here or there, I know years ago when we lived in Dublin there would be fights between guys on one st with the ones on the other one. Not read the story of the guy killed because he went to the wrong school? this was in Dublin.

Maybe when we where kids I used to play footie in Cavan and there was a big rivalry with the local clubs and there match could get pretty bad, one guy got a broken arm one time. But thats when your young, there is always a couple of stupid people that will try to fight but the majority of people have grown up so wouldnt care where you are from.
Was in City Centre last friday and every cornor you turn there is some muppet kicking the head off another one!!!!

Have Cavan connections myself and would really have to disagree. In the country, probably about 40% of the lads (particularly the farmers and the builders) go on "Super Saturdays/Sundays" a term that basically means arriving at the pub between 11am and 1pm, drinking all day and falling into the local nightclub come 12:30. One recent night down the country there were 3 brawls involving pissheads between 10 and 11pm, lads who had been out on an all dayer.The country is alot more violent than Dublin in terms of your ability to get into a fight with some randomer, some ignorant prick who has been drinking brandy all day and is mouthing off. To be honest its not all that common to see a fight in the city centre. So you see a handful of fights in town, with a 6 figure amount of people out on the lash. You see the same amount in a country town that has 2000 odd on the tear. Dublin isnt as violent as its harder to manage to get into a club if you have been drinking for 13 hours.

Wishbone Ash

kevmy wrote:

they'll talk back and gossip a bit with ya - even if they don't know ya - whereas in the city you'd be lucky to get a grunt of the young one behind the counter.

In other words, they'll try to get as much information out of you that they can.

It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so interested in the everyday minutiae of other people's lives. It would bore me senseless.

I was in a rural pub one night and the topic of conversation/argument was about how many cars were parked outside a local B&B and how many were there the previous night and how many were UK registered etc.! One fella even left the pub to check. Why do they find this interesting?

My brother lives in a rural area. When he got a new dishwasher, the topic of conversation in his parish was about why he and his wife needed it as they had no children! Sad. :rolleyes:

petes

Wishbone Ash wrote:

I
My brother lives in a rural area. When he got a new dishwasher, the topic of conversation in his parish was about why he and his wife needed it as they had no children! Sad. :rolleyes:

Its because as we all know thats how city folk wash their kids.

kevmy

Wishbone Ash wrote:

In other words, they'll try to get as much information out of you that they can. It never ceases to amaze me how people can be so interested in the everyday minutiae of other people's lives. It would bore me senseless.

Nothing wrong with a bit of gossip. I'm sure all the talk in offices in Dublin today is about Britney and her divorce. This is because everybody knows who she is and they are all interested in the minutuate of her life. IMO it's much more interesting to talk about Mary down the road who's been carrying on with that Dooley lad from Ballyhoo - sure we all know they're only trouble! It's just in a small town everybody knows Mary even if she lives a mile away whereas in cities you hardly know your next door neighbour.

grumpytrousers

kevmy wrote:

Nothing wrong with a bit of gossip. I'm sure all the talk in offices in Dublin today is about Britney and her divorce. This is because everybody knows who she is and they are all interested in the minutuate of her life. IMO it's much more interesting to talk about Mary down the road who's been carrying on with that Dooley lad from Ballyhoo - sure we all know they're only trouble! It's just in a small town everybody knows Mary even if she lives a mile away whereas in cities you hardly know your next door neighbour.

nail/head interface there...some people claim 'counting cars by a B&B' to be minutiae and not worthy of conversation. They could be right.

some people claim giving a continental f*ck about the latest head magazine is just a different *kind* of minutiae...They too, could be right.

the folks in that pub simply inhabit a smaller world, and as a rural dweller myself, there are times when I would rather that the conversation might turn to matters loftier than the cost of a new cattle grid, but it's far more real than a lot of sh*te you hear in any number of 'sophisticated' joints in the City...

Wishbone Ash

grumpytrousers wrote:

there are times when I would rather that the conversation might turn to matters loftier than the cost of a new cattle grid, but it's far more real than a lot of sh*te you hear in any number of 'sophisticated' joints in the City...

Talking about the price of a new cattle grid would interest me and I would find it much more interesting than the crap that's spouted in 'sophisticated' pubs where it's all about image. It's not nosey or invasive in itself but usually the conversation may go like this:

"I see Mick beyond in Ballygally has got himself a new cattle grid. They say it's mighty. Huh, sure what was wrong with the old one? Suppose he must have a nice bit o' cash sitting about since he sold the site on the upper road. What, with the new Corolla and all! I dunno, it's well for some".

The conversation becomes nosey and begrudging. That is what puts me off.

GeorgeBailey

kevmy wrote:

I'm sure all the talk in offices in Dublin today is about Britney and her divorce.

Britney got divorced! I'm off to the watercooler

Adam

Big Nelly wrote:

That has to be the biggest pile of cr*p I have ever read in my whole life?? closed off minded? think you should look at yourself in the mirror and see the only person who is small minded and closed off

I was born in Dublin, after a few year we moved to Cavan, made loads of friends there and after moved to Enniskillen, made more friends there, then moved back to Dublin for work and made friends here and alot of friends out in Dunboyne/Clonee area. I still keep in contact with mate from Enniskillen but I dont get to see them that often, I just joined a club in Cavan and head down there most weekend to join in with the lads for the crack, also a few pints have been known to be had. There is 2 guys in the club who spent there life in Dublin and have recently moved to Cavan,not town but rural area and are now part of the community and have made loads of friends. Why because they got out and about and talked to people, got involved with activity that are arranged in the area.

..................

All fair points there, but when I said they're close minded I didn't mean specifically when it come's to befriending them, I think you've mistaken me. I have a lot of friends now, but I find in my age bracket that the locals, guys and girls, tend to be awfully stupid, for lack of a better word... I would go out drinking with them, have a laugh and that, but I couldn't imagine meeting up for a coffee and a chat with many of them, the seem rather immature.

Mind me asking what your local is?

Ruu_Old

Wishbone Ash wrote:

My brother lives in a rural area. When he got a new dishwasher, the topic of conversation in his parish was about why he and his wife needed it as they had no children! Sad. :rolleyes:

Ah stuff like that is what makes rural life, pure gold! Can't wait to get back home, I have over a year of gossip to catch up on. Put on the kittle there.

grumpytrousers

Ruu wrote:

Ah stuff like that is what makes rural life, pure gold! Can't wait to get back home, I have over a year of gossip to catch up on. Put on the kittle there.

I will. It's a new kittle. Do you like it? Guess how much it cost!

petes

grumpytrousers wrote:

I will. It's a new kittle. Do you like it? Guess how much it cost!

You mean you didn't make it yourself?

Wishbone Ash

grumpytrousers wrote:

I will. It's a new kittle. Do you like it? Guess how much it cost!

"Sure what need was there for it. The oul one on the range was grand. I don't like the taste of the tay from dem oul plastic kittles. Saying that, dey tell me yer man in Bally is shifting some amount of em, specially dem wans wey no cable. Seamie was there last week an he spied a young wan gitting two of em. I dunno <sigh>"