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Virgin

LegacyUser

I am a 24 male virgin. I'll be honest, that doesnt look like it going to change for a while (low self-esteem, when I'm out I cant even talk to women etc. usual stuff). Which is why I am now thinking about going to Amsterdam to have sex with a prostitute for the very first time.

Like, I know prostitution is legal over there but do all the women there do it of their own free will? I would never go looking for a prostitute in Ireland because of the trafficking problem. However, is it any better in Holland? Is there actually women who do it because they simply love having sex all the time???

Sure, it'd be great to meet a girl normally and things to run their course that way but as I said its not gonna happen.

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Cabaal

kekekeke wrote:

The women in this thread and their fairy tale advice make me laugh. It's easy taking the moral high-ground on an issue like this when you're a woman, isn't it? Living every freaking day of your life, thoughts of inadequacy on such an issue practically nonexistant, your ego perfectly at ease, safely protected by the knowledge that you'll never have to spend a night alone in your entire lives if you so choose,

knowing full well that you can have sex at any place, at any time (rounded to the very minute if you so choose), in the setting you prefer and with the partner of your choice. God damn it must be easy. No, not easy. Bliss. I don't even think there are enough words in the english language to accurately describe how ****ing delightful it must be.

Your either taking the piss or you don't realise that the same social problems lads are affected by also affect many of the opposite sex, if this is your view I would highly suggest changing it as its not a very positive view to have of women.

Women can be in the same situations as any lad, just because their genitals are on the inside doesn't mean the the socially elite in social situations.

I honestly think that the VAST majority of men are virgins until their in their early twenty's, despite what your friends may talk about at school and college

Talking is one thing, reality is a very different ball game

As for paying for sex in any country I wouldn't do it and I was a virgin up until I was around 21 and I didn't have a girlfriend untill I was 20.

Yes it was crap and I hated being alone but in the end I believe all that time made me a better person and I wouldn't change that now. so I know exactly how ProssieSeeker feels.

If I hadn't have gone through all that I wouldn't be the person I am today and I properly wouldn't have met my current girlfriend who I couldn't be happier with

LegacyUser

'Okay, I've been reading this thread since the start and feel the need to offer my honest opinion (however, yes, I will only do this unregged). I'm female, 19 and when I can be bothered making the effort, I can look very attractive. Yet, I'm still a virgin. My longest relationship was three months and was when I was 16. Since, due to a combination of factors, I haven't managed to have a lasting relationship. Recently, I haven't even been able to find a score (while having some standards, anyway).

My virginity is like a massive weight on my shoulders. I tense up when my friends start discussing sex (my college friends do not know that I'm a virgin, and they will not find out). I'm so embarrassed by it, and it causes me great anxiety at times. I'm the last of my friends at home to be a virgin, and I feel like I'm on the outside looking in when I'm with them. Even though I'm arguably the most mature of them and have the most life experience, I feel so immature. It's like they're all members of an exclusive club that I just can't get a membership for. So, to kekekeke, you're talking out of your ass. The burden of virginity is no different for men than it is for women, if that's the way you are. Some men and women aren't bothered by being virgins and are prepared to wait, some are.

To the OP, I understand your frustration but I still don't think a prostitute is the right way to go, even though I see where you're coming from. I'm seriously considering asking one of my close male friends to relieve me of mine when I'm home at christmas. Do you have any female friends that you're close enough to to ask? I'm sure if I was in their situation, I'd be willing to do something to help you. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do, and remember that you're certainly not the only one in that position!'

Idbatterim

Virgin Too, there is a big difference between you loosing your virginity and a guy loosing it. In fairness unless you are dog ugly and im sure your not, there is just no way youll have anytrouble losing it. For a guy he dosnt have to be brad pitt, but if hes not, hes atleast got to have confidence or something going for him. I think the beer goggles effect when out is much more pronounced on men than on women. The thing here is that women can for the most part go out that night and know they can take someone home, some men can do the same, it depends. In other countries the balance is atlesast if not more so in the mans favour, id actaully go as far as saying that in Ireland the women would have more say in bedding someone than any other country. I really cringe when i see these neanthertals in pubs approaching women with the same awful one track mind antics. Believe me once you get on the ladder, have some confidence things will look a hell of alot different OP. As far the irish men and irish women having goes at each other over not being the best looking, this is totally nonsensical. Also to the OP a book called "the game" by Neil Strauss could be very helpfull for you, very interesting, might give you a new perspective and give you a new take on your situation. Good luck!

Motley Crue

what ive learned from this thread

- there are a lot of virgins out there
- men dont seem to understand some women and some women dont seem to understand men (a fact of life)
- the OP has prob been and gone to Holland and still feels he hasnt accomplished anything really
- the OP will correct me on this fact and tell me he does have a sense of accomplishment
- this is a VERY big discussion and you wonder what it means in 2006 when a lot of people are still virgins, not they say for religious reasons, some say waiting for the right man but others say its just because they simply cant score
- have we become so physcologically paranoid about STI and AIDs etc that the idea of sleeping with a stranger on a one night stand seems disgusting so while you want to loose ur virginity youd rather be with someone you at least had a sober conversation with?

Ill leave you with a quote from Hot Press this Thursday gone
The Irish Study of Sexual Health and Irish Relationships has found that more than half (58%) of all Irish adults have sex less than once a week and a quarter less than once a month. Those most likely to have sex are either married or in cohabiting relationships. And despite all the pulling we see in our cities pubs, clubs and social events only 1% of Irish men and 7% of Irish women have had 10 or more partners in the past year and only 7% of Irish men and 1% of women have had 10 partners in the last five years

So does the problem lie with one specific area, the lack of a venue for your sexual encounter? My Mum/Dad/Landlord/Flatmate/Dog wont apprichate us coming back to mine, can we go to yours? Oh, you dont have a place, oh ****!

CathyMoran

Motley Crue wrote:

So does the problem lie with one specific area, the lack of a venue for your sexual encounter? My Mum/Dad/Landlord/Flatmate/Dog wont apprichate us coming back to mine, can we go to yours? Oh, you dont have a place, oh ****!

No, though I did not loose my virginity until I left home but there were opportunities as far back as when I was 20. I must admit though that the other guy that I nearly lost it to only had his car which was less than ideal and that I did seriously consider loosing it there. If we had had a room I think that I probably would have lost it to him as the chemistry was so strong (I did know him for a year though), remembering him still gives me a tingle down my spine, thanfully he is still a friend, happily married and I am marring the guy that I gave up my virginity to.

Mrs_Doyle

Motley Crue wrote:

have we become so physcologically paranoid about STI and AIDs etc that the idea of sleeping with a stranger on a one night stand seems disgusting so while you want to loose ur virginity youd rather be with someone you at least had a sober conversation with?

Are you for real?
We should be 'paranoid' about STI's, they are a very really thing, and a very real consequence of sex!
For anyone who has had unprotected sex during a one night stand - are you crazy???
I can't understand why someone would take their lives into their own hands like this - no matter how strong the chemistry.
And as for the 'sober conversation', well yes, I imagine for most people, it would be 'nice' to lose your virginity to someone who could actually remember your name.

So does the problem lie with one specific area, the lack of a venue for your sexual encounter?

It is this kind of outlook that makes people see their virginity as something they need to get rid of.

It's not!
You are not more of a man, or more of a woman once you have had sex. It doesn't make you a better person.

Sex is something that should be enjoyed, some people are capable of indulging in casual sex, for others, they need there to be an emotional connection.
I guess it is up to you to decide which kind of person you are, and then do what's right for you.

On topic - in my opinion, I don't think you should just lose it for the sake of losing it. I don;t think you will enjoy it as much as you might with someone who actually finds you sexually attractive, of their own free will, as opposed to someone who will provide the service for money.

LegacyUser

Mrs_Doyle wrote:

Are you for real?\r\nWe should be \'paranoid\' about STI\'s, they are a very really thing, and a very real consequence of sex!\r\nFor anyone who has had unprotected sex during a one night stand - are you crazy??? \r\nI can\'t understand why someone would take their lives into their own hands like this - no matter how strong the chemistry.\r\nAnd as for the \'sober conversation\', well yes, I imagine for most people, it would be \'nice\' to lose your virginity to someone who could actually remember your name.\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\n\r\nIt is this kind of outlook that makes people see their virginity as something they need to get rid of.\r\n\r\nIt\'s not!\r\nYou are not more of a man, or more of a woman once you have had sex. It doesn\'t make you a better person.\r\n\r\nSex is something that should be enjoyed, some people are capable of indulging in casual sex, for others, they need there to be an emotional connection.\r\nI guess it is up to you to decide which kind of person you are, and then do what\'s right for you.\r\n\r\nOn topic - in my opinion, I don\'t think you should just lose it for the sake of losing it. I don;t think you will enjoy it as much as you might with someone who actually finds you sexually attractive, of their own free will, as opposed to someone who will provide the service for money.

\r\n\r\n\r\nWell said! I hate this attitude of seeing virginity as something that needs to be got rid of asap. The only reason people worry about it so much is because of this ridiculous pressure society puts on us. I lost mine when I was 24, and up until then I did feel uncomfortable and embarrased about being a virgin but I\'m so glad I waited. There\'s no point in going out and shagging some random stranger if its not what you\'re into, just to get rid of the \'burden.\' And there a plenty of people out there in the same boat, just not always willing to admit it'

LegacyUser

'Hey There,\r\n\r\n A familiar story there. One which I can very much relate too. \r\n\r\nIm a 22 guy myself and I just lost my virginity there a few weeks back. It wasnt so much in a serious relationship as we both knew I had to leave anyway. My whole life before that I`d read all the posts in boards about ppl in my position and listen to my friends say how they srewed this or that over the weekend. Understandebly I was embarressed being a virgin and had that constant urge just to get it over with and get this immense weight of my shoulders. \r\n\r\nIts funny but i also got the opportunity to go to Amsterdam with some Friends one time. The basic reason reason of the trip was understandebly to get some hookers and get wasted, which they did. They weren`t virgins either. I didn`t go myself as it just isnt me - \r\n\r\nEven before that I just hadn`t really had an interest in any sort of a relationship. Im young, in college and have other things to do - at least at this stage of my life anyway.\r\n\r\nI wont deny that it was great to get it of my back and the fact that I waited until a proper time came, with someone I did actually liked, really pleased me. \r\n\r\nMy advice to you is the usual bull and I`m sorry to sound cliche here. Just wait, don`t rush into it. Keep your eyes peeled and if you like someone then go for it. If it happens, it happens. But it will happen. Its ahrd to see that sometimes. Dont worry, there`ll be times when you`ll be with couples or in situations and you`ll feel real embarressed on the inside. Like when your with friends and their girlfriends. Clubs especially!\r\n\r\nLooking back now. I`m no different but I`m glad I didn`t go to Amsterdam or be anything that I`m not. If someone had of told me a week before I lost my virginity that I was going too, I probably would have bet money against it. In the end It will happen. Hold your head up high and just remember that!'

Annie Bananie

prossieseeker wrote:

Think I'll wait a while mre anyways, as one poster says I've waited 24 years, I can wait a little longer. Maybe sometime it'll happen for me...

Good choice!

And when it does happen for you (it will!), you will be very glad you didn't go waste it i Amsterdam!

LegacyUser

Virgin too wrote:

I\'m seriously considering asking one of my close male friends to relieve me of mine when I\'m home at christmas.

\r\n\r\nThis is the kind of thing that gets to me, that virginity is considered so bad that one has to be \"relieved\" of it. As a male in the same situation I feel the same way sometimes and then other times I think what sort of a sick society do we live in that makes me feel that virginity is a burden to be relieved of.\r\n\r\n

Virgin too wrote:

Do you have any female friends that you\'re close enough to to ask?

\r\n\r\nI\'m not the OP but for myself: No I don\'t. And even if I did I wouldn\'t ask because undoubtedly it would be enjoyable and then in the months after I\'d be left thinking what a great time I had and how for her it was a pity f**k. (Queue ensuing enfatuation.) If I did have a female friend that close I\'d be more likely to ask her to fix me up with someone with a view to a longer term relationship. Maybe this might be an option for the OP?'