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Funny/cringing/memorable funeral moments

frobisher

I posted this in the funny wedding stories thread and someone else then posted another funeral story so I thought we'd give it a thread of its own.

It was at the funeral of a friend who killed himself last year. The coffin had just been put in the hearse and everyone was starting to walk behind the car for the 400 yards to the church yard. It was in a small village in the middle of a weekday, the whole place went quiet and stood still in respect. All of a sudden a phone rang out very, very loud. Everyone looked around absolutley disgusted but we couldn't see who it was. People tried their best to ignore it but it just seemed to get louder and louder with every ring. After much scuffling between tears all eyes rested on where the sound was coming from. Suddenly I felt like I was falling down a black hole. The sound was coming from me and I was right behind the parents. The single most cringe worthy moment of my entire existence. I was 100% sure I had turned it off but there it was ringing a dance ring tone at full volume. Absolute f*^king nightmare!

Thankfully I know the family very well and later on in the pub everybody just laughed at it so much it was unbeleivable. Had my friend been there he'd have loved it too!

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Ruu_Old

I think its safe to say we are all going to hell.

The Sweeper

First time my other half met my parents was at my uncle's funeral. My uncle passed away aged 78 or so, and funerals of the very elderly don't have the same sharp edges of sorrow as funerals for the young.

Myself and himself in the back row of the church, over from England from the funeral. So the coffin's being wheeled down the aisle on a trolley at the end of the service, and I go to point my parents, following the coffin, out to my other half.

At this point my father spots me. Now he hasn't seen me in about four months and he's never been good at funerals. He completely forgets where he is, and my other half's first experience of my parents are the man sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes while following a coffin, alongside the woman tugging his elbow and trying not to laugh herself...

Splinter

LadyJ wrote:

Friend of mine told me she was at a funeral a few years back and someone let an incredibly loud fart just before the "peace be with you" bit.

The guy in front of her turned to shake her hand and whispered "It wasn't me."

thats bloody brilliant....

Dave!

rofl, keep them comin

LadyJ

Friend of mine told me she was at a funeral a few years back and someone let an incredibly loud fart just before the "peace be with you" bit.

The guy in front of her turned to shake her hand and whispered "It wasn't me."

Dyr

As a teenager, At a funeral of this cream cracker we all knew, and ould lad called Mickey, died in a car crash, left a wife and a small army of kids left behind, general tragedy.

Anyway, we're in the church and his brother takes a fit crying and roaring out "dont leave me" etc so he has to be carried outside ..my cousin turns to me and whispers "mickey musta owed him a fiver"

I had to leave the chruch in a hurry trying to hide the laughter...

Beetlebum

Not to get into too much detail, but when my mam died her face was bruised quite badly. In the funeral home the woman explained to me and my sister that it would have to be a closed coffin as no amount of make-up could cover it up. My sister then says 'What about white make-up, I have some make-up I used to wear as a goth'......I looked at her in disbelief and said
'You mean clown make-up?!' Suddenly the two of us burst into uncontrollable laughter. I think it was just our minds way of dealing with such a sad situation. The woman in the funeral parlour didn't know where to look, she said..'uh, I'll just give you a minute...' and she left the room.

Kolodny

No one's going to believe this one but I swear it's true. A friend of mine forgot to turn her phone off at her aunt's funeral, naturally it rang in the middle of the mass and her ringtone at the time was 'Stairway to Heaven'.

Honestly (members of her family have since backed it up and she got into a lot of trouble).

LadyJ

frobisher wrote:

OMG! I may go to hell for this but LMAO!

You have it easy.

I had to sit through an entire funeral after that.

I nearly wet myself!

frobisher

LadyJ wrote:

The holy music on the tape then cut and "celebrate good times" started playing.

OMG! I may go to hell for this but LMAO!

LadyJ

Was at the funeral of a friend's brother who had killed himself and before mass started there was some holy tape playing in the church.

No one ever believes this but it happened. The holy music on the tape then cut and "celebrate good times" started playing.

It was hilarious but really terrible for the family.

Ruu_Old

I was at a funeral and there was this nice chap singing a song for a relative of mine and his wasn't the best of singers, lets put it that way. I couldn't help but snigger a bit but no one spotted me. I felt so ashamed of it though and kept thinking "oh when is he going to shut up!":o