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Child Item

Why did I say that...D'oh!!

Beetlebum

The other night I was round in my friends house having a few drinks, watching Forest Gump. At the end of the movie, my usually intelligent friend says ' Wow, he's amazing, is he still alive?!'.....I looked at her and nearly choked on my beer as I watched the penny drop.

Gotta admit I've said and done some pretty stupid things in my time aswell.
Once I was making soup and I didn't want any of the bits to be in it so I held the saucepan over the sink with a sieve and proceeded to pour the contents in, the mistake I made was not putting a bowl under it so all I was left with was a sieveful of bits....d'oh!!

Another time, I was filling in my application form for an Australian visa and at the section where it says date of birth, the format was day/month/year. Without thinking, I turned to my friend and said 'How the hell am I supposed to know what day I was born on? Sure I'll just put down Wednesday...'

Jesus, sometimes I wonder how I get to work in the morning without a Sherpa! What's the stupidest thing you've ever said or done without thinking?!

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Ruu_Old

I do this regularly.:o I intend to make a cup of tea but instead it ends up as just a cup of boiling water and sugar.

LadyJ

One time I said that it'd be a great idea for someone to make a film about a crazy taxi driver,who just goes around killing people.

It seemed like a fresh idea for about a second.

Kiera

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

EWheelChair

Im very dozy when im really hungover, i do all sorts of stupid things like that. Locking the bathroom door before i close it and then trying to close it. Walking into the kitchen and looking in the fridge when i was meant to be looking for washed clothes.

Happens all the time

EWheelChair

Kiera wrote:

I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

Haha, classic.

TomCo

I regularly say sorry to people who should be apologising to me.

Kolodny

I used to do a lot of call centre/reception work and have often been known to answer my mobile stating the name of the company I was working for at the time.

Dun laoire

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this.A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

That made me laugh. A real blonde moment

Sleipnir

Kiera wrote:

I’m always at it. I constantly ask the bus driver for 20 silk cut blue. Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this. A few weeks ago, I thanked the can dispenser for my can of Fanta in the middle of a take away.

HA HA HA HA! I love you....... (wipes tear from eye)

LadyJ

Kiera wrote:

Bless myself when passing a petrol station

I can empathise here.

I used to be an alter server when I was a kid and in school I would always bow at the teacher's desk and then bless myself.

It was pretty funny but got me into trouble sometimes as she thought I was "being cheeky".

shoutman

Im not to bad at saying stuff like this but some of my friends are just rediculous.

Theres one especially who has come out with such gems as:
When in a Chinese she was asked if she wanted to try some duck to which her reply was "no thankss I dont eat fish"

Also she has asked "Do turtles have eyes".

Another friend of mine has inquired as to what a Malaysian was and if Holland was a country or a part of france. (now id almost find this acceptable but she was in the place two years ago

)

Huggles

This morning in front of a whole office of colleagues I answered the phone stating that it was the old comapny I worked for....everyone was like :eek: :eek:

Incase you didn't get that I said: "Good morning, (insert old company name here), Gooner speaking" Oh my god the shame!!!! I wouldn't mind but I have been here over a year now.

LadyJ

I remember once in 6th year we were talking about IQ in maths and someone mentioned Steven Hawking.

Then a girl up the front asked "Is he in this school?"

r3nu4l

I remember getting on the 25 bus in Lucan and asking the driver how much it was to go to Lucan...of course, I meant how much is it to go to town*

Also when I was 18, I remember a Garda car pulling up onto the footpath in front of me at about 4 am one morning, when I was drunk. The headlights were blazing so I didn't realize it was a Garda car and when the guy pulled down the window and asked me my name I said:

'What's it to you? Think you're a cop or something?'

*biko, for the purposes of this post 'town' is Dublin city centre.

Dun laoire

Jaysus i stated thinking about it and my brothers friend who lets just say isnt the full shilling pulled out some beautys but one that sticks out was a few of them went out for dinner and he ordered steak, when the waiter asked him how he'd like it done he said "cooked please" or another one was he rang vodafone complaining he couldnt hear his phone because it was on silent.

Bard

Kiera wrote:

Bless myself when passing a petrol station; I’m not religious so have no idea why I do this.

Keep doing it! You just know the one time you forget to do it, the petrol station will explode!

ORVEE

Chatting to a mate one day who was rattling on about his love life bla..bla...bla...I told him that only his mother could love him.
His response.....I'm adopted.
Oop's

fuzzywiggle

The other night a girl said to me ''oh heya, haven't seen you in ages! How have you been keeping?'' I said ''ooh no thanks'' ??? She didn't say anything which made me feel even more embarrassed.

Another time I said hello to this fella I liked just as I walked by him. It went like this

Me: (quietly) hi
Him: Alrite (my name)
Me: (loudly) Hiiii!

He must have thought that I was so delighted he said hello back that I said it again?!!?

Thomas_S_Hunterson

My Brother:::
"How many countries play in the Six Nations?"

Dooom

Beetlebum wrote:

Another time, I was filling in my application form for an Australian visa and at the section where it says date of birth, the format was day/month/year. Without thinking, I turned to my friend and said 'How the hell am I supposed to know what day I was born on? Sure I'll just put down Wednesday...'

ROFL

teh winlegend.

Takeshi_Kovacs

I remember doing a french aural test in college, where i started of by giving my name, address and age in Irish, before i realised my folly..

Thank god the tester also spoke good Irish, and had just a good laugh about it...

jobonar

1 of my mates just cannot think before he talks! his best 2 were :

1)how many qurters are there in a American Football?!
2)When is "That 70's show" set?

Playing football 1 day and him in a world of his own forgetting i'm standing right in front of him and spits a mouthful of water out and soaks me! took him about 5 mins to cop what he'd done!!

Smellyirishman

After channel flicking and landing on Countdown, the round time was up and whatshisface asked the contestants "So, what did you get?", "Seven" replied the first, "Seven" replied the second. To which my GF proclaimed "Sure how could they get seven, there is no 'V' on the board". You had to be there :cool:.

In mass, my sister and I both occasionally said "Thanks" after recieving communion.

fuzzywiggle

Oh, I once asked did an Aston Martin DB9 take diesel or petrol

mukki

whats stupid about the aston martin question

heard a girl saying "god, the planes get very close to the ground when they are landing"

TerrorFirmer

went out for dinner and he ordered steak, when the waiter asked him how he'd like it done he said "cooked please"

Best so far by a mile!!

I've never said anything outrageously stupid that really sticks in my mind but I've definately done it loads.

I used to know this guy who was forever mixing his words with those of a prior conversation - for example, we were once making small talk about the gaeltacht, etc, and other things. About an entire hour later the lad goes "I'm really hungry lads, why don't we all go down to the Gaeltacht?"

He used to do it ALL the time, pretty amusing, I often wondered what an earth caused this....

mazroo

Sleipnir wrote:

HA HA HA HA! I love you....... (wipes tear from eye)

I love ALL of you.. this made me laugh hard today...needed that... I also dont think im a freak anymore... the electricty went off before and we were ll starvin.. I piped up with.. Just use the microwave.. Another time I was out with my mam and she met this lady who had Cancer and was just after treatment... conversation went like this:

Mam and I: Hi (name and name was also smokin at the time)
name: Hi
Mam : U look better how have u been how is the treatment goin
Name: Ah grand felin much better fingers crossed this time. if I could only give up these(waves smoke)
Me: Ah sure there is no point now (simply meaning if u enjoy the have them)
Mam: evil stares and nips the back of my arm

Cringe

TerrorFirmer

Mazroo your second one there just reminded me of one from when I was small.

I don't remember it, but according to my dad we were out one day when we met an elderly woman for some reason, I can't remember if it was a chance meeting, or whatever, but basically she called me an adorable lad, asked what age I was, the usual.

I asked her what age she was, and she said "82", and my reply? "God you'll be dead soon so!"

So cringingly embarrassing, imagine how the poor lady felt!

The Bollox

Smellyirishman wrote:

In mass, my sister and I both occasionally said "Thanks" after recieving communion.

I would say that a lot aswell

probably my dumbest moment was asking someone if Long Beach was in L.A. or in California

r3nu4l

Marts wrote:

I would say that a lot aswell

probably my dumbest moment was asking someone if Long Beach was in L.A. or in California

I mentioned to a friend of mine from Co. Monaghon:

Me: I'm going to Limerick to visit a friend at the weekend.
Her: Oh I love Tipperary.
Me: No not Tipp, Co. Limerick
Her: Don't be stupid, Limerick's not a county, it's a city in Co. Tipperary!

Me: No, it's a county!
Her: Oh!...Stunned silence

Also one from me:

When I was 19 I was on my way in the door of a bar in town (Dublin city centre for the bikos) and a bouncer stops me and says "How old are you son?". I was thinking Do I look 16? and as a result I said "Sixteen! I mean nineteen". Needless to say he didn't believe me and I didn't get in :rolleyes: