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Chat Up Lines

Gator

Ok....we all know they suck ass when your sober or looking at other fools actually trying to use them but when I go out with my mates we have a good laugh to see who can come up with cheesiest ...its gas..

my personal favourite is "my names Justin.....justin incredible"....anyone have any funny ones

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Vodka Junkie

Can't claim to have ever used a chat-up line with the intention of it working but I do remember one we had a few years ago: "You must live in the woods...
Because you're a fox!" It doesn't get much sadder than that.

Dave!

I've never used it, but I intend to:

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice -- hi, I'm Dave..."

*conversation ensues resulting in sex for Dave*

That's the plan, anywho

stovelid

Not really a chat up line but it made me laugh.
At my wedding, my best man's brother was chatting up a girl. When his mate was going to bed, we heard the mate call over to him

"Are we still going swimming in the morning?".

"Yes" he answered.

The mate says "what room are you in?"

He looks at at the girl (genuinely confused) and says "what room are we in?".

thelordofcheese

My personal favourite is:

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Setun

Vodka Junkie wrote:

Can't claim to have ever used a chat-up line with the intention of it working but I do remember one we had a few years ago: "You must live in the woods...
Because you're a fox!" It doesn't get much sadder than that.

^ Lmao

My mate actually uses this one:
"Hello there Miss, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take you down to the station under section 2A of the looking-too-hot Act 2006"
Hasn't really worked for him yet...

galah

Vodka Junkie wrote:

It doesn't get much sadder than that.

Yes, it does:
One chancer in a nightclub in Dublin (off his trolley, I hope!) a couple of years ago:

"Hey, wanna f*ck?"

Kinetic^

Gator wrote:

my personal favourite is "my names Justin.....justin incredible"....anyone have any funny ones

Believe it or not, he actually uses this line....and it works!!!

I use the line...."Lose the pantaloons", perfect record so far

Doolittle51

"look at your watch"
<girl looks at her watch>
"It's late, you'll do - get your coat"

marius

fav: 'How's your arse for lovebites?'

2'nd fav: 'nice tits - do you like my arse?'

....im very lonely

Tha Gopher

DaveMcG wrote:

I've never used it, but I intend to:

"How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice -- hi, I'm Dave..."

*conversation ensues resulting in sex for Dave*

That's the plan, anywho

ROFL, thats brilliant

I dont go for that cheese, I just get drunk and start waffling about how beautiful they are. Rather bad example of my oh so rare failings and slip ups a few weeks back, was chattin to a Filipino bird outside Spirit

Me "So where do ya work?"
Her "I work in the Rotunda hospital"
Me (rubbered)"No way..... I was born there!"

:rolleyes:

So much in common

me and the biz

One my mate has used on a few occasions

Him "If your left leg was Easter and your right leg was Christmas... Can I visit between the holidays?"

Success rate = 0 lol

Blisterman

My friend uses "If I weren't gay, I'd sleep with you"

Surprisingly, it actually works.

Daithio

A friend of mine once told a Swedish girl 'I'd heard Swedish women were beautiful, but now I know for sure.' How ****ing cheesy is that? The sad thing is it worked too.

BrenC

"my name is Bond, Polly Bond, Im here to fill in your crack" lol, I couldn't stop laughing when I heard that first.

Dun laoire

"sit here on my lap, we can talk about the first thing that pops up"

Success rate: 0

scojones

My uncle told me a story of his mate chatting up some girl at a wedding. He said something like:

"You're so lovely, I'd love to chop your head off and put it above my fire place".

She slapped him and stormed off

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

Sofaspud

stovelid wrote:

Not really a chat up line but it made me laugh.
At my wedding, my best man's brother was chatting up a girl. When his mate was going to bed, we heard the mate call over to him

"Are we still going swimming in the morning?".

"Yes" he answered.

The mate says "what room are you in?"

He looks at at the girl (genuinely confused) and says "what room are we in?".

Now _that_ is a line!

Absolutely genius.

Can't beat Will Smith's ones, though.

<accent>
"I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field o y'all"
</accent>

The_Minister

Hi I'm a necrophiliac wanna play dead?

Say it only to birds who won't understand.

Tobias Greeshman

wrote:

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

And if you ever do decide to use it, you'll probably end up in a cold bed!!

Your eyes are like spanners..... every time you look at me my nuts tighten

Nevyn

wrote:

im cos squared theta, you must be sin squared theta, together we are one.....its never actually been used but i still think its hilarious! and nerdy

Wow I like that one.

Sam Vimes

how's your belly for a lodger?

if i could rearrange the alphabet i'd put u and i together

all my mates said you're mingin' but i think you're acceptable

Hail 2 Da Chimp

"You might not think it to look at me but im a very fast runner"

The chicks... they love it.

funk-you

</scango accent/> Me chickens auldfella is only masif, ye stallin' it? </scango accent/>

-Funk

Kinetic^

How's your gee for a gallop!!!!!!

Dirk Gently

bloke in work said this to a girl in a pub at the end of the night,

story love, whats the story with me, you and your gee. (it worked)

shepherd

A chick once used a chat up line on me... 5min in the door, came over 'n said I looked like the local baker [twas a small town out west]... (it worked)

Gator

Whoa baby......you with alll those curves and me with no brakes!!!!!!

R0ot

Didnt i create a thread like this a good while back?

Yep there it is:
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=295051

Tar.Aldarion

"There are only 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't." *Kisses her while she is confused*