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Buying Girls Drink

Tim06

I was out last night and it never astounds me to see the amount of blokes that will just buy girls drink as an initial means of chatting them up. I have no problems buying a girl a drink if i have been chatting to her for a while but i think that, in the majority of times the girl is just using the guy for the drink. What do you girls think? Do you just take the drink regardless then try and lose him if your not interested?

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pbsuxok1znja4r

Iago wrote:

Not really a good point no, it's an assumption that's flawed because he's thinking from his own point of view. He wouldn't buy a guy a drink therefore he doesn't believe anyone else would. I have done just that on rare occasions, it's not something I make a habit of, but then buying drinks for girls isn't something I make a habit of either.

My point is simply that just because I offer to buy you a drink it doesn't mean that I'm expecting/looking for anything other than flowing conversation..

No, you're right, it does not, of course, mean that you must be looking for anything other than conversation. But I'm sure if analysed statistically, it could easily be shown that guys would offer other lone guys drinks less than they offer lone girls drinks. Those are the facts, interpret them as you will / according to your own level of cynicism.

Dun laoire

Iago wrote:

Not really a good point no, it's an assumption that's flawed because he's thinking from his own point of view. He wouldn't buy a guy a drink therefore he doesn't believe anyone else would. I have done just that on rare occasions, it's not something I make a habit of, but then buying drinks for girls isn't something I make a habit of either.

My point is simply that just because I offer to buy you a drink it doesn't mean that I'm expecting/looking for anything other than flowing conversation..

If i was out on a sunday afternoon with a few friends and not on the pull i would buy a random girl/bloke a drink if i got talking to that person because it's a nice gesture. I'm talking about when on the pull. Is this not what we are talking about "when on the pull"?

Macha

DOLEMAN wrote:

Of course, if the psychologist was female, and she gave me a gift, and then slept with me, I'd feel double guilty about owing her something, so I'd buy her two drinks, and then she'd feel guilty, and ... wedding bells!

Yeah because there's no way she, as a woman, could have enjoyed sleeping with you :rolleyes: Sex? Sure that's only for men's enjoyment, don't you know.

I have to say, I cringe when I see some of my friends simpering and fluttering eyelashes at some drunk guy, saying "Oooh noo, DON'T buy me a drink", cue meaningful stare, conveying fact that if he doesn't buy her a drink some other guy will be getting lucky that night.

I would never accept a drink from a guy I didn't know or if I did, I would make sure I bought him one (regardless of if I liked him or not)

But I have to say, Im guilty of buying guys drinks to try and get a conversation going

Tar.Aldarion

Why do people edit double posts instead of deleting them...

Macha

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

Why do people edit double posts instead of deleting them...

Sorry, didn't realise you could

Tobias Greeshman

If I get chatting to a girl whether I'm out on the pull or not, I may offer to buy her a drink after chatting to her for a good bit. Just as a good-will gesture, if I want to get into her knickers then I'll rely on my charm and wit alone.

It p***es me off when I see guys and even friends of mine that will happily buy random girls drink and they're just using them for a free drink. Some guys are just so fickle, when it comes to women :rolleyes:

Iago

ok, that's the all new plan then. Sit at the bar and wait for a girl to come and buy me a drink

drums fingers....

ddunne

i wouldnt accept a drink off some random bloke, unless he sat talking to me for a while, then maybe. if im not slightley interested then i wont take it.

I seen some girls completlety lead a guy on just so he will pay for drinks,
which is disgracefull.

We're not all the same ; )

Katykaboom

My mates ex , he was a sh*thead, but if we were out he would arrive back from the bar with a drink for her, and everyone one of us, us being six girls. we always bought him a drink back, sometimes he wouldnt accrpt it.

Bard

DAEDULUS wrote:

i have no issues other than [...lots of issues...]

Hah. Go you!

BTW... Are there no romantic, kind and chivalrous gentlemen without ulterior motives left in the world? What's the major problem with buying a girl a drink as an ice-breaker, FFS??

taconnol wrote:

I would never accept a drink from a guy I didn't know

Why not?

taconnol wrote:

or if I did,[...]

Oh, right... so much for "never"

taconnol wrote:

But I have to say, Im guilty of buying guys drinks to try and get a conversation going

So it's alright for you to buy them one but not vice-versa? Here's a little LINK! for you. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling...)

Macha

Bard wrote:

Hah. Go you!

BTW... Are there no romantic, kind and chivalrous gentlemen without ulterior motives left in the world? What's the major problem with buying a girl a drink as an ice-breaker, FFS??

Why not?

Oh, right... so much for "never"

So it's alright for you to buy them one but not vice-versa? Here's a little LINK! for you. (Yes, I had to look up the spelling...)

Jeez Bard, stop picking holes in my grammar, this really is pointless as I think everyone understood what I meant. However to satisfy your pedantry...

I meant, that normally, in 95% of cases, I would not accept a drink from a guy I didn't know because his intentions are quite clear, and in 95% of cases I am not interested (hey, call me picky). In the 5% of cases that I am interested and accept the drink (and the conversation), I will make sure that I get him a drink back.

Why is it hypocritical for me to buy a guy a drink to start a conversation? IN my post, I criticised girls who accept drinks from men in whom they aren't interested, not the men offering the drinks. I think you'd better re-read my original post instead of just jumping on it to get your post count up.

Bard

taconnol wrote:

Jeez Bard, stop picking holes in my grammar, this really is pointless as I think everyone understood what I meant. However to satisfy your pedantry...

I'm not picking holes in your grammer. I'm saying that what you say you do is a wee bit hypocritical.

Why is it hypocritical for me to buy a guy a drink to start a conversation?

Because, when a guy does the same for you, you're assuming that they're only buying you drink because they want sex. Is it that impossible to believe that a guy can buy YOU a drink just to start a conversation?

I think you'd better re-red my original post instead of just jumping on it to get your post count up.

Oh, so I'm "jumping on your post just to get my post count up"? No... actually... I'm just disagreeing with you

Have a good one,

DOLEMAN

taconnol wrote:

Yeah because there's no way she, as a woman, could have enjoyed sleeping with you :rolleyes: Sex? Sure that's only for men's enjoyment, don't you know.

I was obviously joking... calm down...

Macha

Bard wrote:

Because, when a guy does the same for you, you're assuming that they're only buying you drink because they want sex. Is it that impossible to believe that a guy can buy YOU a drink just to start a conversation?,

Call me cynical, but yes, I think that the only reason a complete stranger would buy me a drink is to try it on. Every single time I've accepted a drink from a guy I didn't know in the past, the guy in question has tried to get my number, etc...

I can also tell you that a few years ago, I used to weigh a bit more than I did now - never was offered a drink. Now that I'm a size 12? Happens almost every time I go out. Coincidince? Me thinks not...

Bard wrote:

Oh, so I'm "jumping on your post just to get my post count up"? No... actually... I'm just disagreeing with you

Have a good one,

Ok ok sorry. Didn't sleep one minute last nite with a car alarm & im in a bad mood

Edit: Doleman, I got the joke. it was funny

, just getting up on my feminist soapbox here

pants on fire

i swear to god I was out one night chattin to this bird, and I pulled out €20 to pay for a drink. I had just met her at the bar after ordering my drink, so didnt get her one.
But as soon as I had my had open, she yanked the note off me!!!
And she would give it back!!!!

:mad:

Wasnt sure what to make of it....but was kinda attracted to the audacity!!!

Got my moneys worth in the end!!............:D

DOLEMAN

Of course the only reason a guy wants to buy you a drink is because he wants something (=sex) in return. People who think otherwise are being naive.

It's normal social behaviour and the girl can play along or not.

How many times have you seen a guy buy another guy (=stranger) a drink in a bar for no reason whatsoever? It just doesn't happen. In gay bars it may happen. Guess why???

Vidic-is-good

DOLEMAN wrote:

Of course the only reason a guy wants to buy you a drink is because he wants something (=sex) in return. People who think otherwise are being naive.

It's normal social behaviour and the girl can play along or not.

How many times have you seen a guy buy another guy (=stranger) a drink in a bar for no reason whatsoever? It just doesn't happen. In gay bars it may happen. Guess why???

I think its too freely said that guys are after one thing. Sometimes, guys go looking for a companion to share things with, maybe spend the rest of their lives with them. Love at first sight is very very possible and sex might in fact be the last thing on their mind. Probably most cases are just a guy looking for sex but sometimes, its about something more important. Buying her a drink could be just the way to break the ice (not necessarily the right way to do it though)

Tar.Aldarion

Vidic-is-good wrote:

I think its too freely said that guys are after one thing. Sometimes, guys go looking for a companion to share things with, maybe spend the rest of their lives with them. Love at first sight is very very possible and sex might in fact be the last thing on their mind. Probably most cases are just a guy looking for sex but sometimes, its about something more important. Buying her a drink could be just the way to break the ice (not necessarily the right way to do it though)

I rarely ever just want sex. Most guys do however. We all do at some points..

Well girls too.

[Deleted User]

I am not a scronger at all, and will usually refuse a drink if offered by anyone because I just prefer to buy my own.
But when if a lad was chatting me up and I was interested I would be paying close attention to his behavior and not offering me a drink would definatly set off warning bells.
I can't stand people who are selfish or mean.

Tar.Aldarion

Moonbaby wrote:

not offering me a drink would definatly set off warning bells.
I can't stand people who are selfish or mean.

What a ridiculous conclusion.

meowCat

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

What a ridiculous conclusion.

well, sounded very harsh, that's true. But it's not that ridiculous, really.

But I hate if guys offer a drink as a chat up line. I'm usually annoyed at it and say no thank you and walk away.

I just feel funny about accepting a drink out of the blue, from a total stranger. I want someone to talk to me first!!!!
And if I decide I like him...it's true, I'd sort of expect him to offer a drink. It's a sign that he enjoys talking to me too and would like to spend some more time with me.

A date would be a different situation though. I'd always try to keep it even, but some guys refuse getting a drink bought. It seems to hurt their pride and if it makes him happy to pay my drinks then I'm happy with that.

meowCat

Vidic-is-good wrote:

I think its too freely said that guys are after one thing. Sometimes, guys go looking for a companion to share things with, maybe spend the rest of their lives with them.

in a pub?!

Vidic-is-good wrote:

Love at first sight is very very possible

debatable.
and...in a pub?!

Vidic-is-good wrote:

and sex might in fact be the last thing on their mind.

in a pub?!

pisslips

IS this some sort of attempt to generalise the behaviour of the respective sexes? Is that not a bit complex for thread.
In my(not vast) experience, obviously every situation is different and dynamic but usually, things only work out when I genuinely like the other person, as after an hour or so,the girl should be able to understand where I'm coming from? If she doesn't have the intellegence to do this then I lose interest unless she is very attractive but that won't progress for too long.I think men and women are more similar than this thread insinuates.

As for buying drinks, I rarely ever do it but I wouldn't worry about it, if I felt like buying one for a girl. If you can't judge these situations then you desrve to lose 4-8 euros.A bad analogy would be,"it's similar to backing a horse in a race".You might just be doing it for the enjoyment of the race but you wouldn't be dissapointed if you won.

Also,whats this about men using women for sex, really people can moan all they want but unless it's rape, nobody is being used.It's clearly mutually beneficial.A laid back approach would be more apt for something thats meant to be enjoyed and less analysed.

Dave!

meowCat wrote:

I just feel funny about accepting a drink out of the blue, from a total stranger. I want someone to talk to me first!!!!

Do they usually buy you and drink and then walk away, or something?

"Here, drink this. I'll be over there, gimme a shout when you're finished and I'll get you another one."

projectmayhem

DaveMcG wrote:

"Here, drink this. I'll be over there, gimme a shout when you're finished and I'll get you another one."

you haven't used that line before?!

(just realised i'm over 3000 posts... oh god i have no life)

Vidic-is-good

meowCat wrote:

in a pub?!

debatable.
and...in a pub?!

in a pub?!

Sorry, whats the joke? Or is there a reason you asked the same question 3 times?? Yes, in a bloody pub. Or a club. Are you telling em that everytime you have been out you have never seen someone you found more than attractive and thought you wanted to pursue her for a potential relationship and not just sex in the jacks???

Manolo Blahnik

Okay so,

So far people have said that if I guy buys a girl a drink he's expecting sex.
What about the guy chatting up the girl in the first place.

''Oh I don't take drinks from guys because they're only after one thing.''

But you talk to them? That's being chatted up.

People go to pubs/clubs to meet new people and have a good time. If you buy someone a drink it's an act of generosity.
Take Saturday night for instance I got taking to a couple - a girl and a guy. Before the girl left with her boyfriend she bought me a drink at that same moment some random guy came up to our table and offered to buy my friends and I drink.

It's just part of our society everyone buys everyone a drink.

Vidic-is-good

Manolo Blahnik wrote:

Okay so,

So far people have said that if I guy buys a girl a drink he's expecting sex.
What about the guy chatting up the girl in the first place.

''Oh I don't take drinks from guys because they're only after one thing.''

But you talk to them? That's being chatted up.

People go to pubs/clubs to meet new people and have a good time. If you buy someone a drink it's an act of generosity.
Take Saturday night for instance I got taking to a couple - a girl and a guy. Before the girl left with her boyfriend she bought me a drink at that same moment some random guy came up to our table and offered to buy my friends and I drink.

It's just part of our society everyone buys everyone a drink.

What pub is this? We'll all head down for a free night out.

Vidic-is-good

Manolo Blahnik wrote:

Okay so,

So far people have said that if I guy buys a girl a drink he's expecting sex.
What about the guy chatting up the girl in the first place.

''Oh I don't take drinks from guys because they're only after one thing.''

But you talk to them? That's being chatted up.

People go to pubs/clubs to meet new people and have a good time. If you buy someone a drink it's an act of generosity.
Take Saturday night for instance I got taking to a couple - a girl and a guy. Before the girl left with her boyfriend she bought me a drink at that same moment some random guy came up to our table and offered to buy my friends and I drink.

It's just part of our society everyone buys everyone a drink.

What pub is this? We'll all head down for a free night out.

Manolo Blahnik

Vidic-is-good wrote:

What pub is this? We'll all head down for a free night out.

I take it you're not that lucky when it comes to recieving free drinks:D