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A fishy situation...

Mr.Nice Guy

Alright guys I'm in a bit of a pickle here and I would appreciate some assistance.

A little while ago I visited my cousin's house and seeing as it's the holiday period, myself and my two cousins had a few cans of beer. We were all having a great laugh watching Back to the Future III when I happened to notice the goldfish bowl in the corner of the sitting room. Now here's where things go a little awry...

In hindsight it was stupid but I suggested to my friends that we give the two goldfish some of our beer (it's OK though we had alot of cans). Now fair enough this was stupid but in my defense those guys are older than me and they thought it was a brilliant idea. Anyway, we were drinking Miller and seeing as it's not as potent as other alcoholic drinks like Guinness, we figured the goldfish would be able to handle it. We poured in the contents of a full can and for a while I swear the fish were enjoying it. But around about the time they both floated to the surface of the bowl, we realised something wasn't right.

We scooped the two fish out of the bowl but they weren't responding. The eyes and mouth of the fish were still open though so I figured things weren't too bad. My two cousins were yelling at me about how the fish had been in the family for years and how their little sister adores the fish blah, blah, blah but my best efforts to revive the little things were all in vain. I tried hammering the fish with my fist, whacking their heads against the mantelpiece, you name it I tried it but the things were clearly dead by that stage.

In the end we disposed of the fish by flushing them down the toilet. We at least kept things respectful by saying some nice words about them so it wasn't heartless or anything like that.

We still have a very big problem though. My cousin's parents and their daughter will be returing home from the country tomorrow and we have a goldfish bowl without two goldfish. Here's where you guys can help me.

Do you know if any pet shops are open at this time of year so we can purchase two fish which resemble the last pair? They need to be those orange looking fish thatt you tend to see and they need to be pretty small as well.

Your help would be very much appreciated. Cheers guys.

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Nevyn

Either get replacement fish, there are large pet stores in most shopping centres ring them or tell them to break the tank/bowl and say the dog did it.

senordingdong

Thaedydal wrote:

or telly them to break the tank/bowl and say the dog did it.

Brilliant!!!

Infact at this stage you're even better off telling your aunt and uncle that yous broke it by accident.
Taking responsibility fopr it won;t be as bad as taking responsibility for pouring beer in there.

The_B_Man

ur best bet is to get an orange balloon, right. then paint gills on it. then get them little googley eyes that u can get and glue them to the front. then slightly inflate the balloon. maybe draw sum teeth on the front for realism, and maybe glue a mini shark fin on the back for aerodynamics. this should buy you a day or two, until the pet shops are open. in the mean time, try get the little kids drunk so they;re too **** faced to notice the crappy orange balloon floating in their fishbowl where their beloved pets used to be. before u know it, the petshops will be open, and u'll be able to top off a wonderful week of underage drinkin by gettin the kids a brand new shiny set of gldfishes! merry xmas and a happy new year!

Mr.Nice Guy

Right I've just returned from my cousin's house and they're going to say that the dog knocked the bowl over and ate the fish. My cousins aren't very smart people so I hope they don't mess up the story but everything should turn out OK.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for all the help guys.

junkyard

Why blame the poor dog? Remember its you and your buddies f***ed things up and now the dog gets blamed. I'd love to hear any other issues of right and wrong you might have.

Fajitas!

Just buy replacements, they're only about a fiver each.

How come hardly anyone finds this funny?

OP, next time try Disprin

funk-you

Fajitas! wrote:

Just buy replacements, they're only about a fiver each.

How come hardly anyone finds this funny?

OP, next time try Disprin

Goldfish...Fiver? i'd want a fu(king trout for that.

Giblet

Blaming the dog eh?

Need I remind you of the story of the man who had anal sex with his girlfriend on his couch, but she lost all bowel control and soiled the couch. They tried to clean it but they failed, so when the guys parents came home they saw the mess and asked the guy about it. He said the dog did it, so the next day, they had it put down.

Lessons people, lessons!

40crush41

hahahaha, thank you for the laugh. and don't worry i've heard of worse -see, i'll make you feel better! i know i kid whose friend gave his dog some liquor (the dog did not die, no, but he is said to have gotten a bit tipsy. a little doggie buzz so to say. and yes, that was pretty wrong of him)

and so we may all go to hell

but in the meantime -my favorite part of the story was when you said that you gave the fish some beer -"but it was alright b/c you had a lot of cans" oh the priorities in life.. you have to laugh.

poor fishies though *moment of silence* but if you think about it Goldfish can go just as easily if you over-feed them with fishfood... so if u can go like that, might as well be with a bit of beer, no? (Thats a terrible joke meant to get at the perspective of the situation.) Moral: don't give alcohol to a dog. thats cruel.

LegacyUser

Mr. Nice Guy, I have seen you around boards.ie and up until this post I thought you a reasonable enough bloke. It is one thing being involved in killing an animal, horrific - its another trying to get others to condone it!!!!!!!!!!!!

How could you do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a Jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus! You should be ashamed of youself. How would you like to have your oxygen replaced with Miller.

Posting here about it, what is that about?? Either you are a troll or you are just an indredibly stupid evil eeejet!

If you can't look after animals, then stay way from them, simple as that. Don't have a Goldfish, or any other sort of animal - because purely, you and your immature friends are too irresponsible to own an animal.

I am completely disgusted.

Are you proud of yourself Mr. Nice Guy??? Feeling good about yourself .. stood back while an animal suffered! You and your sort make me sick.
Looking for information about how to replace the fish?? Tell you what -- shove the tank up you arse!!! Hope you never get your hands on a pet again. After witnessing that, how could you post like that ...

40crush41

Just a Side Note
Life is a lot easier if you laugh, it sucks that the fish are dead, but instead of wasting hot air u should take a step back and observe the situation... u can even laugh at him too you know...
he made a mistake, a drunken mistake. and hopefully he learned from it b/c thats all you can do.

Mr.Nice Guy

bubby wrote:

Mr. Nice Guy, I have seen you around boards.ie and up until this post I thought you a reasonable enough bloke. It is one thing being involved in killing an animal, horrific - its another trying to get others to condone it!!!!!!!!!!!!

How could you do that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are a Jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jesus! You should be ashamed of youself. How would you like to have your oxygen replaced with Miller.

Posting here about it, what is that about?? Either you are a troll or you are just an indredibly stupid evil eeejet!

If you can't look after animals, then stay way from them, simple as that. Don't have a Goldfish, or any other sort of animal - because purely, you and your immature friends are too irresponsible to own an animal.

I am completely disgusted.

Are you proud of yourself Mr. Nice Guy??? Feeling good about yourself .. stood back while an animal suffered! You and your sort make me sick.
Looking for information about how to replace the fish?? Tell you what -- shove the tank up you arse!!! Hope you never get your hands on a pet again. After witnessing that, how could you post like that ...

You're honestly telling me you've never thought about giving alcohol to a fish? Give over.:rolleyes:

Blackjack

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

You're honestly telling me you've never thought about giving alcohol to a fish? Give over.:rolleyes:

If that's a General question, I can safely say I've never thought about giving alcohol to a fish.

Seriously, why waste it on something that won't remember the experience?.

LegacyUser

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

You're honestly telling me you've never thought about giving alcohol to a fish? Give over.:rolleyes:

So, you don't even feel you made mistake?? Jerk .. troll .. whatever?? I have invested over 1500 euros on fish. This does not include other animals in my household.

I feel so strongly about this that I would happily pay a solicitor to have you sued for animal cruelty. Seriously! From now on .. keep your mouth shut ..becuase I have no problem with tracking IP addresses etc when it comes to animal cruelty -fish, cats whatever.

Any more crap from you on this thread "Mr Nice Guy" and I promise, you'll regret it. I'm not taking the piss. Your asking for it!

Royale with Cheese

Fish are pointless creatures that were obviously put here for our amusement, giving them beer was the obvious thing to do.

Ray777

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

My cousins aren't very smart people

You're clearly not Mensa material yourself. I mean, giving beer to a goldfish and not expecting it to die? Jesus wept.

monkeyfudge

Blackjack wrote:

If that's a General question, I can safely say I've never thought about giving alcohol to a fish.

Seriously, why waste it on something that won't remember the experience?.

I regularly waste alcohol on myself and don't remember the experience...

Personally I don't really care too much about some fish... but some humans do have an emotional investment in these fish, and that's what has been cruely disregarded.

Oh.. and have you thought about heading to Funderland and trying to win some new ones?

LegacyUser

Yeah - ye big pants.

I hope your next pint of beer tastes like fish faeces! Mr Nice Guy - breath it in slowly (like your not expecting it).

I really hate people who have to post such obnoxious things on boards. Obviously you are trolling - or just a sad sad bastard, with big big pants!
I asked all my fish -and they all hate you.

The_B_Man

jaysus bubby, i probably shouldn't tell u this, but...i eat fish on a regular basis!!! Including their fingers!!! I'm sorry. i know jesus doesn't love me anymore, but its something i'll just have to face on my own! sorry!

Sparky

http://www.hotelpreston.com/images/goldfish-enlarge.jpg

Print twice and cut fish out and glue it to the back of the bowl.

40crush41

That escalated quickly, I mean.. that really got out of hand.
(couldn't help myself, but you know -when in rome... you know the rest)

Mr.Nice Guy

bubby wrote:

So, you don't even feel you made mistake?? Jerk .. troll .. whatever?? I have invested over 1500 euros on fish. This does not include other animals in my household.

I feel so strongly about this that I would happily pay a solicitor to have you sued for animal cruelty. Seriously! From now on .. keep your mouth shut ..becuase I have no problem with tracking IP addresses etc when it comes to animal cruelty -fish, cats whatever.

Any more crap from you on this thread "Mr Nice Guy" and I promise, you'll regret it. I'm not taking the piss. Your asking for it!

Is that a threat or something? Make a post like that again and I'll report you. You remind me of the South Park episode with the PETA group.

They were fish for crying out loud. Sort yourself out before you judge me.

YeatsCounty

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this thread.

LegacyUser

You are the one who posted about poisoning fish with miller.
Sending post to mod with request for informtation pertaining to your pants size posted herein. Be warned .

masteroftherealm

Pighead wrote:

Yeah nice one Endurance Man there we all were having the crack about dead animals and you had to stomp in with the roll eyes and take everybodies toys off them.
Jeez man stop wrecking everybodys buzz, you've changed buddy, it used to be all about the laughing.

No third person.... ACCOUNT HIJACK!!!!!!!1

Pighead

YeatsCounty wrote:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry reading this thread.

Its easy YeatsCounty(5/10,bit of a mouthful) just read the first post and started laughing like a maniac. Pighead read it over 6 hours ago and hes still laughing like a lunatic.
Ha ha he he ho ho. Dead goldfish!

LegacyUser

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Is that a threat or something? Make a post like that again and I'll report you. You remind me of the South Park episode with the PETA group.

They were fish for crying out loud. Sort yourself out before you judge me.

Ha Ha ha .. as I sit beside my tank of fishies. You are a sad bungle. Fish do not drink Miller and you

(1) A Waster of precious Christmas Beer on Fish
(2) Insulted South Park - get real
(3) Couldn't you be more original. How how boring. snore.

PANTS!

Slug of baileys till your next reply.

Blackjack

monkeyfudge wrote:

I regularly waste alcohol on myself and don't remember the experience...

but at least you remember something. Have you ever heard the expression "memory of a Goldfish"?.

40crush41

Pighead! damn you're bold!

40crush41

Bubby, I hear where you're coming from -I have excellent friends who are into animal rights (more about the dogs/cats/circus animals though), and let me tell ya, they have told me some awful stories that would make you cry.. .actually I don't want to think what they would make you do. My point is though that I understand the importance in not abusing animals, and eventhough theres no need for it, I'm overly aplogetic, so I'll throw an apology for making light of this situation that affects you so great.

Its true, to not judge an action by its consequence but if its right or wrong in the action itself.. so sure, this kid was wrong I'm pretty sure he knows that -but idk, I'm sitting here wondering if you're gonna have a heart attack. And perhaps I'm in the wrong for not seeing the importance of two dead goldfish b/c I can't seem to get myself mad about such an absurd story.