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Child Item

Losing virginity to one night stand

LegacyUser

I was at a party where I knew noone that well. So I was delighted when this lad came over and started chatting to me. We had this brilliant conversation and felt like we really connected. I'm 19 and he was 8 years older so I didnt think he was interested in me at first. So we went to a club and we got very drunk. Then we we walked to his place and slept together. I was so unbeleivably drunk that it all seems a blur. So next morning I wake up to my horror beside him. When he woke up he didnt talk that much avoided my eye and I knew it was a one night thing. I feel so disgusted and ashamed of myself. How did I let myself sleep with a complete stranger. I feel like a slag. I'm worried hes boasting about it to his friends. I just feel so used. I'm never drinking again after this. He wasnt interested in me only interested in getting me drunk and getting in my pants. Has anyone else felt like this?

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The Corinthian

chump wrote:

People go to parties to get smashed, have a good time, and ideally score.

Let’s see what you’re saying here - people go to parties to:

Get Smashed. Some do, some don’t.

Have a Good Time. Magically or by doing anything in particular?

Ideally Score. Ahhh... here we go. Slipped in at the end, with the word ‘ideally’ tagged on so as to make us think it’s not that important to you.

So people go to parties to get smashed, score and somehow have fun in some undefined manner. From what I can see your definition seems to differ from dublindude’s only in so far as you want to get smashed. And you call him sad?

They don't go to spend the night tipping alcohol into a girl the guts of ten years younger than them to coax them into having unprotected sex and giving up their virginity...

No, but I’m sure they do spend the night coaxing women into having sex. Assuming they’re not in the corner with you downing a bottle of Polish vodka.

Certainly what happened to the OP was ethically dubious. But dubious does not make it wrong. Ultimately they were consenting adults and she was happy enough to accept his refills, which did not by any means leave her ‘smashed’.

Having unprotected sex was certainly inadvisable, but so is getting smashed or high, IMHO. As for age, she was in her twenties - that means she’s a grown up. And if that means she wants to play hide the salami with a ninety year old, then that’s her business, not yours.

People do go to parties for various reasons, but there’s no denying that sex plays a big part. For some it’s the primary goal. That’s their business. And no more sad than going to get smashed. Arguably less so.

Vangelis

The Corinthian wrote:

Arguably less so.

!!

You appear to me as pretty sad yourself.

?

Victor

Oddly, and I am possibly going off topic here, but women are also known to go to parties to enjoy themselves. It takes two to tango ...

chump

Oh gawd...

The Corinthian wrote:

Let’s see what you’re saying here - people go to parties to:

Get Smashed. Some do, some don’t. Always exceptions. Maybe I should have said to drink and be merry?

Have a Good Time. Magically or by doing anything in particular? Craic, banter, music, dancing, games?

Ideally Score. Ahhh... here we go. Slipped in at the end, with the word ‘ideally’ tagged on so as to make us think it’s not that important to you.
Well it isn't important to me as I'm in a long term relationship. I was making reference to the fact that when I went to parties when I was single I'd ideally like to end up kissing(++) a girl if I met one that I liked and we got on? So ideally yes. And also from going to parties with other people I would conclude that if they scored someone they liked during the night that was a good thing?

Score chump 3 - The Corinthian 0

So people go to parties to get smashed, score and somehow have fun in some undefined manner. From what I can see your definition seems to differ from dublindude’s only in so far as you want to get smashed. And you call him sad?
dublindude suggested people go to parties for the single purpose of getting laid, even if it involved the "ethically dubious" (your words) acts mentioned in this post. I though it was a bit sad for that to be the single purpose of going to a party.

No, but I’m sure they do spend the night coaxing women into having sex. Assuming they’re not in the corner with you downing a bottle of Polish vodka.
What's this all about?

Having unprotected sex was certainly inadvisable, but so is getting smashed or high, IMHO.
inadvisable? I'd agree.

As for age, she was in her twenties - that means she’s a grown up. And if that means she wants to play hide the salami with a ninety year old, then that’s her business, not yours.
Did you read the OP, she was 19, clearly stated. Get your facts right. Of course it's her business, she posted on PI, I gave my opinion and advice to her, which I thought was helpful. Is that not the purpose of this forum (I bet you won't answer this question)

People do go to parties for various reasons, but there’s no denying that sex plays a big part. For some it’s the primary goal. That’s their business. And no more sad than going to get smashed. Arguably less so.
Sex plays a big part? What percentage of people who go to the same party would you say end up having sex together?
Sure half the people would have partners already.
And sex? Not everybody jumps into the sack on the 1st night. Sometimes people just score, or have a grope.
And clearly you've an issue with people who enjoy drinking and get drunk. But that's your business eh?

AARRRGH

chump wrote:

Craic, banter, music, dancing, games

Says it all really!

What age are you Chump?

Gordon

A discussion is not about scoring points Chump.

dudara

Vangelis, this is not a forum for attacking other posters.

Keep your comments relevant please

dudara

chump

23 pal.

That OK by you?

ASL?

The Corinthian

Vangelis wrote:

You appear to me as pretty sad yourself.

Well that's your opinion. If you feel that drinking yourself into a stupor is less 'sad' - because that's what you were responding too - then that's your opinion too. Not one many would share.

chump wrote:

Maybe I should have said to drink and be merry?

But you didn't. You said something completely more extreme.

Craic, banter, music, dancing, games?

What is craic? Define it.

Well it isn't important to me as I'm in a long term relationship.

Well thank you for giving us the perspective of someone in a long term relationship.

Score chump 3 - The Corinthian 0

Pretend you're an adult please.

dublindude suggested people go to parties for the single purpose of getting laid, even if it involved the "ethically dubious" (your words) acts mentioned in this post. I though it was a bit sad for that to be the single purpose of going to a party.

The reality is some do. And others go to get smashed - either on drugs or alcohol - or both. And again others do to catch up with people they've not seen in ages. And others for other reasons again. The getting laid motivation may not be of great interest in those who are smugly assured of getting it at the end of the night from their long term boy or girlfriend, but it is naive to suggest that everyone has either your motivations or attitudes towards sex and insulting that they should.

What's this all about?

Those differing priorities that people that are not you have.

Did you read the OP, she was 19, clearly stated. Get your facts right.

Fair enough. Still an adult and still none of your business, Mrs.Whitehouse.

Of course it's her business, she posted on PI, I gave my opinion and advice to her, which I thought was helpful. Is that not the purpose of this forum (I bet you won't answer this question)

I'm not criticizing you for giving your opinion or advice to her, I'm criticizing you for playing the morality police on other posters.

Sex plays a big part? What percentage of people who go to the same party would you say end up having sex together?

Small, but what's your point? The question is how many single men, and in some cases women, are trying to seduce someone either for that night or one in the near future? Quite a few would be the answer.
[ QUOTE]Sure half the people would have partners already.[/QUOTE]
And half would not. What's your point?

And sex? Not everybody jumps into the sack on the 1st night. Sometimes people just score, or have a grope.

I agree, and neither does everybody who will jump into the sack on the 1st night do so every time. But it's really none of your business if they do or don't, try to or not.

And clearly you've an issue with people who enjoy drinking and get drunk. But that's your business eh?

No more than it's your business if dublindude or anyone else is out on the pull for a one nighter at a party. And frankly no more sad.

Victor

I can't see this thread lasting much longer. The person who makes the next quote / off-topic comment gets banned.