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The (corrupted) make a wish foundation!

Deadwing

This might be better suited to the cukoos nest but feel free to move it.
Basically one poster makes a wish, the following poster grants it...but with a stipulation

i.e.:

Deadwing: I wish i had a million quid
next poster: granted. However the feds bust you for not paying tax on your million and you wind up in the joy with a big black cellmate called bubba who cant keep his eyes off your ass
I wish i had...

etc etc.

Ill start the ball rolling...

I wish i had a kickass job

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hussey

Granted, you get up and feel great
1/2 hr later you discover the guy you slept with last night chained up inside your closet, his name is Rosco and he has a moustache and leather pants.

I wish I was at home rather than in work

Tar.Aldarion

your not you died of alcohol poisoning and are forever in hell posting on this thread.

i wish that guy hadn't made a move on me and that eh i become like a god or something muahA!

pwd

Granted but you are the god Prometheus, who is bound to a rock for infinity and has his liver torn out by a vulture every day.

I wish people would stop posting on this thread.

Tar.Aldarion

they do but then again none of them are people any more they have become mere binary code apart from you who have now become half monkey half kitten.

i wish i was a binary code that had a 2 in it

passive

granted, but you exist only for a fraction of a second before somebody realises they hit the wrong key and erases your sorry ass into oblivion

i wish deadwing was forced to work in tesco for the rest of his life as punishment for the creation of this travesty/thread.

the_syco

He does, but then he becomes a reborn (ie; new life :P ) and toments you on the pro's of Christanity.

I wish for someone to post again on this thread.

Tar.Aldarion

for God's sake fine your ingenious wish has been Granted!, but with this extraordinary gift comes responsibility, you are now patron saint of travellers and have to live in limerick in a tiny caravan married to jimmy joe mcdonagh, who will expect you to bear him 20 nippers....... hehe lol

i wish that knackers decided to cop on and say what were we thinking lets be 'normal'

and that they now go round saying 'do ya want a euro boy?' maybe in a posh accent too for a ho0t.

[Jackass]

Granted, but now that knackers are all posh, the birthrate drasticlly drops, and a new law is passed that every woman must be impregnated every year by a stranger...starting with test subject A: YOU!!!

I wish i lived in a paradise full of beautifull women, nothing but sunny days, with no work or worrys.

--Kaiser--

Ganted, but you are constantly locked in a fetid toilet cubicle and fed by the beatiful women through a small grate

I wish i could play guitar like Jimmy Page

Tar.Aldarion

DubGuy22 wrote:

Granted, but now that knackers are all posh, the birthrate drasticlly drops, and a new law is passed that every woman must be impregnated every year by a stranger...starting with test subject A: YOU!!!

I wish i lived in a paradise full of beautifull women, nothing but sunny days, with no work or worrys.

starting with me,i'm not a woman aha! you would have to make some sort of wishhh......

omg granted! you are now in your paradise but you have lost all your corporealness and senses. you know every1 is in paradise but you.all you have left is where you now live,posh knacker world where all the women are gone and have been replaced by well you ^^ gigety gigety

i wish i wish upon a star for a wish that i wish to wishfully come true,
that forever and ever to be in the pub with my m8s ,which are now all hot, and to be the onlly man in the world for 6 months.

Sleepy

Granted but every woman in the pub is HIV+

I wish for more beer.

tSubh Dearg

granted but the beer is sour and cannot be drunk

I wish that superheros really existed

Piste

Granted. But unfortunately they all are out to get you (and NOT in a good way!

)

I wish I had broadband.

the_syco

You get broadband, but you PC dies, permanthly.

I wish for 1 ton of hash, grass format.

aidan_dunne

Granted, but because 1 ton of hash is such a large amount and so easy to spot, the guards have no trouble finding it in your possession and you go to jail for a long time, with only a HIV-infected, anal-sex addicted cellmate called Bubba for company!

I wish for one night with Angelina Jolie and Sandra Bullock, a couple of pairs of handcuffs and a big jar of Nutella!

I'm worried what kind of response this is going to get, now! :eek:

Tiriel

granted but Angelina has garlic breath.. and Sandra has had a little too much to drink and keeps reaching over the edge of the bed to bark at the ants.

I wish I was a princess

Zombienosh

granted , but your prince is a yeti.

i wish i could sing

Tiriel

hairy molly eh!
I'm sure you can.. every one has a shower voice.. though yours is a little more well.. girly than others.. and your nostrils flare a little..
oh and I wish my prince could fit into shining armour!

GoneShootin

Granted

BUT!

You will be forced to sumbit to multiple paper cuts, from each page of War & Peace.

I wish my tennis club would get off its arse and start putting some teams together!

tman

granted. but the uncomfortable chaffing of metal on flesh will give him a nasty rash "down there", rending his yeti wang useless.

I wish this night shift would hurry up and end

/edit
damn you GS

arbeitsscheuer

The night shift ends, but you get mugged on the way home...

Materialistic and oh so cliche, but i wish for more money... I'm dyin here. Can't afford food, smokes and now not even booze! WTF am I gonna do?

Zombienosh

You can have money made of cheese. I wish I was asleep

tman

while you sleep a mongoose will lay eggs in your rectal cavity type place... (a special type of mongoose that lays eggs instead of procreating like normal mongeese)

i wish this biro was black instead of blue

tSubh Dearg

granted! but the black ink runs all over your hands, shirt and papers ruining everything forever!

I wish to pass my exams with flying colours

the_syco

You pass, but suddenly the job sector your studying for becomes obsolete, and you can't get a job in your jobs sector.

I wish for the (British) Royal Palace to be leveled to the ground by some terrorist group.

Capt'n Midnight

the_syco wrote:

You pass, but suddenly the job sector your studying for becomes obsolete, and you can't get a job in your jobs sector.

I wish for the (British) Royal Palace to be leveled to the ground by some terrorist group.

This happens , but they are captured and the law changed and are used as slave labour to rebuild it. Due to a miscarrige of justice you are mistaken for one of them , and on your first day at the works the rumor goes around that you shopped them.

I wish to have my very own Dyson sphere.

annette curtain

granted, but you get sucked into it and then explode into millions of tiny particles

i wish i had a sexy rich actor for a boyfriend

arbeitsscheuer

Granted, but after a week of going out with you he confides in you that he is actually gay, and it is purely a sham relationship... And he is now ready to come out of the closet, and thus you are now an unneccessary burden on his career.
You try to sell the story to a newspaper in order to at least get the "rich" part of your wish, but they laugh in your face and tell you that that story's been known about for, ooooh, ages.

I wish for a new stereo (i.e. one that doesn't refuse to play my cds and then chews them up in frustration)

Dinxminx

granted, but all it plays is Celine Dion's "Falling Into You". Over, and over, and over......

I wish I had an immortal dog who could talk and who loved me..

annette curtain

granted but then you realised it was a flea who was a ventriloquist, who promptly had a hissy fit about you going out with your mates instead of staying in with it and jumped up, bit u and proceeded to spread the black death, after dying a horrible death that "faithful friend" of a dog came and peed on your grave.

i wish for a for a bike with a bell and a suprize

oh god im gona pay for that wish!!!