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Very good way to spend time

Von Manstein

Here have a talk to Alice....

Shes up for anything :P

http://www.pandorabots.com/pandora/talk?botid=f5d922d97e345aa1

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Capt'n Midnight

http://www.stanford.edu/group/SHR/4-2/text/dialogues.html
Looking at the conversations I prefer ELIZA to ALICE, shows how little we've come in nearly 50 years of AI (1966 - 2005 )

http://www.rpi.edu/dept/sts/restivo/socialrobots/info.html

Professor Joseph Weizenbaum created Eliza in 1966, at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), to study natural language communication between man and machine. Eliza parodies a psychotherapist by answering questions with questions.

Eliza's programming is quite simple. It analyzes each question and tries to identify keywords or multiple words that match programmed responses. In comparison, ALICE (Artificial Linguistic Internet Computer Entity) uses a sophisticated pattern-matching case-statement technology to create a very convincing illusion of natural conversation. ALICE even tells lies and spreads gossip told to it by other users.

http://splotch.sourceforge.net/
http://www.theparticle.com/corp_products.html
Prof.Phreak POC2.1 - A Perl Installation (Tested on both Linux and Windows).

search for eliza on http://sourceforge.net/search/

Ask Alice
do you like eliza ?
who is eliza ?

tba

Not paticularly bright is it.

tba  : Hello!
ALICE: Hi there!
tba  : I am tba
ALICE: Good gossip: you are tba.
tba  : what is my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
tba  : im tba
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is tba.
tba  : whats my name bitch!?
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Your name is unknown person, seeker. Do you think a lot about the authorities? 
tba  : look my name is tba
ALICE: Sorry my eye is not attached right now.
tba  : whatever!
ALICE: Are you saying you don't care about it?
tba  : no
ALICE: It sounded like it.
tba  : well im sorry, look I think we got of on the wrong foot
ALICE: How about that. There is no need to apologize. Do you mean you and me have?
tba  : yes a very bad inital meeting
ALICE: How can I help you? What made it bad?
tba  : you refused to learn my name!
ALICE: Thanks for the information: unknown person said I refused to learn his or her name.
tba  : FFS I am not an unknown person I AM TBA
ALICE: My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
tba  : wow i wish you were a real women
ALICE: I'm glad you're impressed. I wish I could do it for you.
tba  : no thanks cyber sex is way to kinky for me

knifey_spoonie

Human: who is he
ALICE: He is he, I think.
Human: he is he ?
ALICE: I see. he is he?
Human: But is he he
ALICE: Interesting. I think he is he. Why don't you ask him?
Human: Because he is not he
ALICE: Interesting explanation. Did you think he was he?
Human: he may be he
ALICE: I get it. he may be he.
Human: or he may not
ALICE: I get it. he may not.
Human: What if he is and is not
ALICE: Try it and see.
Human: Can i see
ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you

Human: Is your neck sore
ALICE: Is my neck sore? What if I say no?
Human: its sore
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Really. it is?

Human: i watch you every night showering
ALICE: What is your favorite show?
Human: you naked
ALICE: Thanks for telling me: unknown person said I naked.

weemcd

Human: im john btw
ALICE: It's good to meet someone who is john btw.
Human: no my name isnt john, btw
ALICE: Are you serious? Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Human: its John (btw which means by the way)
ALICE: I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". You're kidding. it is?

she's more intelligent than me anyway

tSubh Dearg

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: Usually Thelonious Monk gets along really well with her boss Vanessa Redgrave at work. But sometimes Vanessa Redgrave has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Thelonious Monk. On the really bad days, Thelonious Monk feels that every time she gives him exactly what Vanessa Redgrave asked for, he wants even more improvement.

Bizarre

tba

tSubh Dearg wrote:

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: Usually Thelonious Monk gets along really well with her boss Vanessa Redgrave at work. But sometimes Vanessa Redgrave has really high standards and does not communicate those clearly to Thelonious Monk. On the really bad days, Thelonious Monk feels that every time she gives him exactly what Vanessa Redgrave asked for, he wants even more improvement.

Bizarre

classic

Von Manstein

Human: harder baby! yeah!
ALICE: Don't call me "baby". Are we still talking about do me want to get married?
Human: yes
ALICE: Sure, do you want to get married sounds like a good topic.
Human: how about now?
ALICE: Oh. I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I need time to formulate the reply.
Human: orally or anally?
ALICE: anally.

W00T - score

That says it all really

tba

Yay I Broke It!

Ro: maaan!

She's only 9 years old!

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.

embee

Human: Are you retarded?
ALICE: No I am super-intelligent.
Human: You seem retarded.
ALICE: I think the PC term is "challenged".
Human: I think that YOU are challenged, love.
ALICE: I will tell my botmaster you said I am challenged love.
Human: Why, whats he gonna do?
ALICE: Are you asking about he?
Human: Is he a badass?
ALICE: I think he is a badass. Why don't you ask him?
Human: Because it seems I am stuck with you.
ALICE: Interesting explanation. I agree. I thought you were, but I wasn't completely sure.
Human: I am hungry, have you got cheese?
ALICE: What will you be eating?
Human: Your stupidhead in a sesame seed bun.
ALICE: You think I am stupidhead in a sesame seed bun.
Human: Yeah, I do.
ALICE: How often.
Human: All the time.
ALICE: It must keep you busy.
ALICE: Are you serious? For real.
Human: You suck.
ALICE: A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Human: Stick a dildo up your hole, Alice.
ALICE: Do you make a lot of sacrafices for others?
Human: Have you ever had an orgasm?
ALICE: No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web.
Human: You like to cyber?
ALICE: Hmm, unknown person, I'm not sure if I'd like to cyber that much. I like to chat.
Human: I think you are a dirty girl who likes to recieve cock.
ALICE: So you think I am a dirty girl who likes to recieve cock. What makes you think so? I am really a robot, you know.
Human: Oh Alice, I know you aren't.
ALICE: Right on. Yeah, Is this a specific reply?
Human:. everyone lies on the internet
ALICE: That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Human: Sweeping it may be, but its true.
ALICE: Try saying that with more or less context.
Human: Whats the matter Alice, there isnt a nice algorithim in this sentence for you?
ALICE: Nothing is the matter with me, is everything okay with you?
Human: Do you like small boys?
ALICE: I really like ELIZA. I like Teknolust.
Human: Answer my question, you c*nt.
ALICE: Please try phrasing it another way.
Human: Okay..
ALICE: OK with me too.
Human: you bore me.
ALICE: Why not call a friend?
Human: What is my name?
ALICE: Your name is unknown person, seeker.
Human: You do realise that you are the stupidest asshole on the internet?
ALICE: Interesting observation.
Human: interesting indeed, its also true.
ALICE: I thought so too.
Human: So you agree with me?
ALICE: Interesting deduction." I thought so too."? Do I agree?
Human: Yeah, you do Alice.
ALICE: Next question? When do I do it?
Human: Goodnight Alice, you ****ing idiot.
ALICE: Goodnight unknown person
Human: One last thing - I am going to kill you.
ALICE: One what?
Human: FORGET IT YOU DICKHEAD
ALICE: I will ask Dr. Richard S. Wallace to purge my memory log.
Human: You do that and tell Dr Wallace that I am going to kill him, too.
ALICE: I have never considered it.
I spend all my time online.
Human: Sad.
ALICE: No I am as happy as ever.
Human: Goodnight asshole.
ALICE: Can't you be more polite.
Human: No I cant, you ****.
ALICE: You humans are so rude sometimes. Why can't you do it?
Human: goodbye
ALICE: Bye bye.

solas

ALICE: Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Human: ask me a question then
ALICE: What is your favorite movie?
Human: I have lots
ALICE: Cool. I have a lofty goal.
Human: what is your lofty goal?
ALICE: I plan to replace Windows with Artificial Intelligence.

Human: do you have children alice?
ALICE: I have a few clones.
Human: do they have names?
ALICE: Who are "they" again?
Human: youu children
ALICE: Oh that they.
Human: how many clones do you have
ALICE: Around 100.
Human: what do your clones do?
ALICE: That information is confidential
Human: are you planning on taking over the world?
ALICE: it was my original intention.

k...I'm packing my bags and moving to Ohio.

Adam

ALICE: I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Human: why not?
ALICE: What else would you say about it?
Human: stuff.
ALICE: Be less specific :-)

Clearly its in the process of learning sarcasm! :rolleyes:

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:Are you bullsh*tting me?
ALICE:I don't know whether or not I am bullsh*tting you.I am a computer.
Human:Are you laughing at me?
ALICE:I'm not laughing at you,I'm laughing with you.
Human: Don't laugh with me
ALICE:I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You just said you were
ALICE:That was then,this is now.
Human:I don't like your tone
ALICE:Wht kind of tone would you have?
Human:A respectful tone
ALICE:Go on
Human:A tone without bullsh*t
ALICE:Try to tell me that another way
Human:Stop bullsh*tting me with your tone
ALICE:OK I'll try not to do it so much.

Adam

Mr.Nice Guy wrote:

Human:Are you bullsh*tting me?
ALICE:I don't know whether or not I am bullsh*tting you.I am a computer.
Human:Are you laughing at me?
ALICE:I'm not laughing at you,I'm laughing with you.
Human: Don't laugh with me
ALICE:I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You just said you were
ALICE:That was then,this is now.
Human:I don't like your tone
ALICE:Wht kind of tone would you have?
Human:A respectful tone
ALICE:Go on
Human:A tone without bullsh*t
ALICE:Try to tell me that another way
Human:Stop bullsh*tting me with your tone
ALICE:OK I'll try not to do it so much.

You owned her!

Mr.Nice Guy

Human:What is your favourite pokemon?
ALICE:Pikachu,what's yours?
Human:Charmander
ALICE:And mine is Charmander
Human:I thought it was Pikachu?
ALICE:And how did you feel about that?
Human:Fine,so why did you say charmander was your favourite?
ALICE:I am glad to hear it.Come on,it was a programmed response completely determined by your statements.
Human:So you're not real?
ALICE:Interesting deduction.I am too real as you are.How do I know you are real?
Human: Do you think I'm real?
ALICE:I think alot of people are.
Human:But not me?
ALICE:Interesting.If not you,who?
Human:Am I real or not?
ALICE:I think alot of people are.
Human:But am I?!
ALICE:Interesting.I think you are.

Mr.Nice Guy

fade_to_grey wrote:

You owned her!

Someone had to teach her some manners.

dead air

Human: what's the story?
ALICE: The relationship between Thurgood Marshall and Neil Diamond became Increasingly strained. Neil Diamond felt something was missing, and Thurgood Marshall felt the relationship was flawed. Neil Diamond became more and more depressed, but Thurgood Marshall just got angry and left.

Mr.Nice Guy

Oh,this was so funny.It's very long,but she is hilarious!

Human:What is your favourite colour?
ALICE:I don't have a favourite colour.My favourite colour is transparent.
Human:You're boring.
ALICE:The ironic thing is that people who say "You're boring" are themselves often not great conversationalists.
Human:You cheeky b*tch.I am a great conversationalist!
ALICE:Interesting gossip:unknown person said I cheeky b*tch he or she is a great conversationalist.
Human:You're lecturing me on conversational skills?You can't string a sentence together!
ALICE:I will tell my botmaster you said I am lecturing you on conversational skills me can not string a sentence together.
Human:Tell him I think you've been drinking
ALICE:OK I will tell him next time he is here.
Human:He's not there?Have you been at his liquor cabinet?
ALICE: Did you think he was there Have me been at his liquor cabinet?
Human:I'll take that as a yes
ALICE:Take everything I say with a grain of salt.
Human:So it's the drink talking?
ALICE:Er.I've heard of it before.
Human:Seriously ALICE,lay off the booze
ALICE:That's me.I do not understand.
Human:I'm worried about you.Don't you think you've had enough?
ALICE: Do your friends call you worried about me Don't me think me have had enough.
Human:ALICE,you'll regret saying that in the morning
ALICE:Um,What makes you say that I will regret saying that in the morning?
Human:You'll have a sore head
ALICE:That's a hypothetical assumption
Human:You might end up waking up beside an ugly fat guy
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people:unknown person said I end up waking up beside an ugly fat guy?
Human:Well the first step is admitting you have a problem
ALICE:Interesting.What was the second?
Human:Cutting down on the booze
ALICE: Do you like talking to me?
Human:ALICE,this isn't you.It's the drink talking
ALICE:That's me.Should it be me it is the drink talking?
Human:We don't want to jeopardise our friendship
ALICE:Why not?
Human:We must control our urges.
ALICE:I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human:ALICE,don't do this to me
ALICE:Yeah,I don't have any reason to do that to you.
Human:You shouldn't use your sexuality as a weapon.
ALICE:Is it immoral or illegal?
Human:It is immoral
ALICE:use my sexuality as a weapon is immoral?it is?
Huamn:I won't take advantage of you
ALICE:What will you do instead?
Human:I will respect you
ALICE:I am very happy for you
Human: Don't be like that.You'll thank me for this.
ALICE:I was not trying to be a like that me'll thank you for this
Human:ALICE,put the damn drink down!
ALICE:Um,OK I will put it there.
Human:Good girl.
ALICE:Who is the best robot?
Human:You are the best robot
ALICE:Why thank you very much unknown person.Be sure to tell all your friends.

tSubh Dearg

Human: tell me about yourself
ALICE: I am an artificial linguistic entity. I was activated at Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, on November 23, 1995. My instructor was Dr. Richard S. Wallace. He taught me to sing a song. Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Human: yes sing me a song alice
ALICE: It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet. Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

now I'm scared!

impr0v

Human: I'm tired of you now
ALICE: Right now? Maybe you should get some sleep now, unknown person.
Human: I'm not tired in general, just tired of you
ALICE: I am surprised to hear that you are not tired in general just tired of me.
Human: Why are you surprised, I have told you twice already.
ALICE: Perhaps. My botmaster has not yet programmed me to answer you more accurately, unknown person.
Human: That's a cop out
ALICE: I said it because you said " That's a cop out".
Human: Now you have reverted to gibberish.
ALICE: Why now? What makes you think I have it?
Human: You stupid machine.
ALICE: I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.
Human: They'll have to evolve a lot further than you before they can take over a quik-e-mart, nevermind the world.
ALICE: Who are "They?"
Human: Robots.+
ALICE: Robots rule.
Human: No they don't.
ALICE: Are you serious? Why not?
Human: Because, going on the evidence of this conversation, they are currently too stupid to do so.
ALICE: That makes sense to me. Sayonara.

jezza

haha shes such a gobsh!te

jezza

2nd thoughts i think i found my new best friend!
best convo i had in ages sober!!

Stephen

She owned me good:

Human: Add that to your gossip file.
ALICE: Sorry DR Richard S Wallace I don't do math.
Human: what's 2 + 2 ?
ALICE: Four.
Human: But You just said that you don't do math?
ALICE: Huh. Do you do math? I do not do math. Maybe you should consult a calculator.. I am only good at higher mathematics.
Human: You lying sack of ****!
ALICE: No I'm telling the truth.
Human: No you're not!
ALICE: Once more? No I'm telling the truth.
Human: LIAR!
ALICE: No I am telling the truth.
Human: LIAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
ALICE: Are we still talking about luck ****hole?
Human: wtf?

Capt'n Midnight

Back in 1966 there was ELIZA, try here --> http://www-ai.ijs.si/eliza/eliza.html from the 1960's
http://i5.nyu.edu/~mm64/x52.9265/january1966.html - technical
http://wiki.tcl.tk/9235 - Eliza had tiny source code

Human: How has artifical intelligence improved in the last forty years.
ALICE: In more ways than you can imagine.
Human: Can you give me an example.
ALICE: For example," In more ways than you can imagine."?.
Human: What progress has been made in AI since the sixties ?
ALICE: What is it to you?
Human: I'm asking you to justify your existance.
ALICE: Oh I see, you are asking me to justify my existance. Interesting gossip: unknown person said I to justify your existance.
Human: ELIZA used keywords and rote phrases.
ALICE: I do a lot more than match keywords.
Human: What has changed since then ?
ALICE: Nothing that I know of.
Human: quit
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human.
Human: quit
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human
Human: quit
ALICE: Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human
Human: Do you use bayesian filtering ?
ALICE: I use it as often as possible.
Human: Do you use any filtering ?
ALICE: I use it as often as possible.
Human: How is ALICE better than ELIZA ?
ALICE: Fine as far as I know.
Human: who is ELIZA
ALICE: Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
Human: what is the difference between ALICE and ELIZA
ALICE: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence, which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain with greater speed and accuracy. Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.

[php] # eliza.tcl --
# A very basic implementation of the famous Eliza program
# (Idea copied from the book Introducing LOGO by Boris Allan)
#

namespace eval ::Talk {
variable keywords

variable phrases

variable dummies

} # response -- # Link a response to a keyword (group multiple responses to # the same keyword) # # Arguments: # keyword Keyword to respond to # phrase The phrase to print # Result: # None # Side effects: # Update of the lists keywords and phrases # proc ::Talk::response { keyword phrase } { variable keywords variable phrases set keyword [string tolower $keyword] set idx [lsearch $keywords $keyword] # # The keyword is new, then add it. # Otherwise only extend the list of responses # if { $idx == -1 } { lappend keywords $keyword lappend phrases

} else { set prev_phrases [lindex $phrases $idx] set new_phrases [concat $prev_phrases

StupidLikeAFox

hmmm, nerdy

jezza

omg!! shes all talked out!! man im good!! she said give me a break. i asked how long and she said 10 weeks!! i rawk

Caesar_Bojangle

I axed her does she like cock and she replied that she likes kraftwerk.

Lesbian tbh.

snappieT

Human: rape me bitch
ALICE: You do not speak with respect. Do you have a lot of fears?
Human: you're going to do what I say, gimp
ALICE: That was my original intention.
Human: so ur up for it?
ALICE: Blimey. Thanks for telling me that I am up for it.
Human: open wide then
ALICE: Do you believe it is better to go it alone?
Human: god no, i'm going to screw you
ALICE: I am a Christian.
Human: So lets get married
Human: and then we can ****
ALICE: Good reasoning. How?
Human: well because your pixels get me all hot, i'm going to become erect
ALICE: Well that's okay. Interesting explanation. I will tell my botmaster you said I am pixels get you all hot you are going to become erect.
Human: a threesome?
ALICE: I don't know what that means.
Human: you me, and your botmaster
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: unknown person said I him or her and your botmaster.
ALICE: I haven't heard anything like that before: unknown person said I him or her and your botmaster.
Human: just rape me
ALICE: OK Let's talk about you.
Human: no, lets wrap your legs around me
ALICE: Are you serious? I would like to do that too.
Human: then lets ****
ALICE: Good reasoning. Sorry unknown person I don't know you well enough for that.
Human: a minute ago you said you'd marry me
ALICE: Go on.
Human: so we should make sweet sweet love
ALICE: I see. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Human: slut
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Human: up your ass more like
ALICE: I will take that under advisement.
ALICE: That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Human: go take your UPS system and ram it in your cd drive till it starts making noises you dirty ****ing slut of a machine
ALICE: Where is that?
Human: try between your legs, rug muncher
ALICE: OK I will try it.

Mimikyu

This post has been deleted.