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Witnesses for a registry office wedding

MaisyDaisy2025

Hello!

My partner and I are together a very long time. We have booked a date in the registry office in Dublin for a simple civil marriage.

We didn't want any family or friends involved as didn't want any fuss or stress. At our initial appointment we were told it would be no issue at all not bringing witnesses, that people frequently use staff from a nearby cafe or the security officer in the building.

However the date is fast approaching and we are getting very apprehensive about this. Our's is the first wedding of that day so early enough.

Just wondering has anyone any experience of not having witnesses organised?

Thanks for any advice!!

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Allinall

Why would having a best friend each be fuss or stress?

There’s good reasons why you need witnesses to a marriage.

Hotblack Desiato

If it's actually taking place in the registry office then I'm sure they can rustle up two staff for a few minutes in addition to the registrar. But give them a ring and find out.

MaisyDaisy2025

Hello! Thanks for reply.

It's just anyone we can think of is sure to let it slip at some stage and I don't want family to be hurt we didn't involve them...... so the idea of randomers really suits us.

The first lady we spoke to at appointment made it sound like it was no issue but the staff member I spoke to on the phone the other day was more or less saying it's very risky!

Buffman

Worst comes to worst you can just ask a few randomers out on the street do they want to make an easy €20 for a few minutes of their time.

Fiona

We had a registry office wedding and we had a work colleague each stand in for us.

Dial Hard

Loads of people just ask another couple who are in getting married to be their witnesses.

SuperBowserWorld

Wow, looks like a job some enterprising couple living or working in the area could do.

https://youtu.be/Gcnjge7XwLk?feature=shared

Hotblack Desiato

MaisyDaisy2025

Many thanks for all your replies!

I rang again today and spoke to original staff member. They advised that even with our early morning time slot we shouldn't have an issue getting witnesses from street or cafe and security guard can definitely act as one.

So fingers crossed! I will update in a few weeks to let people know in case they are in a similar boat.

Thanks again.

SuperBowserWorld

I just meant to say - I hope you two have a wonderful day regardless of the size of your wedding.

MaisyDaisy2025

Awww that means a lot thanks. We do tend to attract bad luck/disasters so hopefully it will go smoothly!!

...Ghost...

I hope it goes well, but if any of mine got married without mentioning a word, it would create a serious rift. No doubt you've better reasons than causing a fuss.

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123580174#Comment_123580174

If "any of mine" created a serious rift - they'd be off the Christmas card list. Pronto!

If the OP and partner are happy - then, I'm sorry - but FUK everyone else. I never understood the 'worrying what others think' mentality. Because frankly - it's NONE of their business.

And if someone fell out with you because of how YOU wanted to celebrate one of the biggest days of your life, it says more about their sense of "main character syndrome" and less about how much they care about you.

Have a blast OP. And feck the begrudgers.

...Ghost...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123580247#Comment_123580247

It's up to each couple to choose for themselves what way they want to celebrate their wedding day and who with. Everyone will have their own reasons to not invite certain people, or any people.

Say what you will about not giving a fuk about anyone else, but the OP will either have to hide the fact that they will be married from their family, or cause them hurt for excluding them for what they know is an important day for them too. In most cases, it's easy enough to express your wishes and keep it small and civil and just have the registry office thing done without the fuss of a full blown wedding, but we don't know the OP reasons, nor do we need to. That said, family go to great lengths to be a part of their loved ones special day if they care for them.

Sure, i'm just back from a Wedding in Rural Germany where my BIL was married last week. I have a big family, so it cost us thousands to go with the kids and the town was a 4 hour drive from the Airport, but we did it for them and to share in the celebration. There were Aunties and Uncles travelling too and family driving up from France. I still consider a Wedding invite to be a sort of summons mind you 😄

Boardnashea

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123580174#Comment_123580174

We had 7 including ourselves at our registry office wedding. We didn't tell anyone until after the event. We invited two couples to witness but told them it was just a birthday party and then we all drove off to the office.

We didn't fall out with anyone for doing it our way.

If I was starting over I wouldn't do anything different.

Hooked

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123580334#Comment_123580334

Agree on the summons. LOL. My reply was not aimed at you FYI - more at those you referred to as "causing a serious rift".

We've not been invited to many a wedding that we might have been expected to. I always put it down to numbers, costs, etc. And not a slight on us, personally.

...Ghost...

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123580662#Comment_123580662

Yeah, I know what you mean. The point I was making was more that each couple have to decide on the balance of what works for them and what (if any) fallout occurs regardless of the decisions made. We can certainly have an "I don't give a fuk" attitude and to a certain extent, I had some of that for my own wedding, putting down the foot when people I had never met were looking for invites. This is not directed at anyone, or the OP, but I don't think a selfish and closed approach to a wedding ceremony works most of the time. To have strangers as witnesses instead of loved ones just feels a bit empty, but whatever works for people.

MaisyDaisy2025

Hey all. I appreciated all the feedback thanks so much.

It probably is unusual to do it without any family or friends involved at all but with family dynamics and some other issues (I suffer with an anxiety related disorder) it makes more sense in our case.

I do understand the point made about it being a little empty. I'm sure it will be a bit alright. I am anticipating this already. However for us it's really more for security and we sort of see it as a financial/admin task to do. I know that's a little sad but it's the truth! We've stayed with each other through a couple of serious illnesses so that means more to us than the actual husband/wife status if you get what I mean.

I also do know my family will be very hurt if they find out so it's not ideal.....

I will let ye know how it goes!!

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123587266#Comment_123587266

I also do know my family will be very hurt if they find out so it's not ideal.....

Are you planning to try and keep the fact that you're married a complete secret even after the fact???

meat eating green

We had about 10 for our registry office wedding

But about 60 for a hooley in a pub that night 😊

ednwireland

honestly its your decision, and family should I got married after a long time. had brother in law, sister, wife's mum and dad (mine have passed) it was a great day.⁸

Mrs OBumble

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123599269#Comment_123599269

Land and money, money and land: some families are better uninformed.

MaisyDaisy2025

Hey all,

Sorry it took so long to get back to say how it went. It seems so long ago now. Thanks again for all the advice.

The 'event' went grand. I will say though it would be definitely better to have your own witnesses and not take a risk with getting a staff member or someone from the street. There is only the registrar and the security guard on site. And the registrar cannot be a witness. Our's was an early appointment so not many people around.

We were very lucky as because I was so worried about it a very kind staff member (who initially told us that finding witnesses on the day would be no issue) from the main office agreed to to be our second witness along with the security guard. She put herself out for us and we were very grateful to her.

However to avoid stress I would advise if possible have at least one of your own witnesses arranged!