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Child Item

Why me .

false name

Hi I’m looking for advice and any perspective on my problems . I was born into a humble enough home . My parents were great . Mammy a stay at home mother , my father in construction / building jobs . Needless to say the ‘80’s and early ’90 s were tough enough due to the economic climate of the time but we got by by my father growing vegetables and keeping a few cattle or pigs which would be slaughtered and put in the freezer and cutting turf for heat / fuel .
I loved the life of farming and did all the work with my parents .As a result went to ag college to get my green cert . . I was always told that the house and land would be mine when the day came . To that end I went to work and then America for a few months . I came home and paid for double glazed windows and new doors for the house . When 911 happened my work in the US dried up and I came home again and got a construction job . Still the plan was the same and I put new septic tanks and filters to replace what can only described as a hole in the ground and would never have past new regulations .

Then the Celtic Tiger happened and suddenly 1/2 acre with road frontage was worth money . My siblings who up to that time were embarrassed about their upbringing suddenly got on to my parents about them each getting a slice of what they tought was a lucrative pie .

Then I was diagnosed with a condition which will eventually put me in a home / wheelchair and the money I had saved to go abroad to stop it vanished.stolen Now my siblings are set to inherit any valuable property and the house . I have already sought legal advice and will go to the high court to get my bank records to prove the work and the expense I went to and have other receipts .
I suppose the question I’m asking is did I do something wrong by putting my life on hold while I looked after my future and that of my parents .Needless to say any dealings with my siblings is over . I don’t give a fcuk about them and they me .

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Hannibal_Smith

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123291535#Comment_123291535

Why do you need the high court to allow you access to your bank records?

So now your siblings have their eyes on the sites. You have your eyes on the farm and home. All with the intention of leaving your parents with nothing and not a penny to pay for their own well being. Nice family. Your poor parents must be horrified.

I can't see a judge in the country going for it. In fact I can't see how a court can rule to verify wills when the testators are still alive. So best of luck with that.

Your mind is set on the legal road you have planned from the outset of the thread. No amount of practical talk is seeping through to you. I can't wish you the best of luck with it because my sympathies lie with your parents. But I do wish you all the best with your diagnosis and hope you can come to terms with it before alienating those around you.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123291523#Comment_123291523

Op your story is all over the place. Please read over your all your posts - very little you say makes sense or what does make sense you then contradict by saying the opposite!

We have a whole thread of you complaining that you are not getting the land, now you are saying you are getting most of the land excluding the sites 🤔😬

I don't think anyone here can help you.

carfinder

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123291554#Comment_123291554

The OP has exposed a serious flaw in the fair deal scheme. All you have to do is claim you contributed to the household over the years and your parents owe you more than the house is worth - winning formula! And go all the way to the HIGH COURT to get your bank statements for the last 30 years.

Some great advice given to the OP and his story has more holes than Swiss cheese but he is full of his own self righteousness. OP, you should get some counselling to help release whatever anger is driving this obsession

Avatar in the Post

The farm, bar the holy grail of road frontage, isn’t worth €50k. Even though has central heating and other upgrades. checks daft.ie for cheapest lived in house .

OP is going to the High Court to get THEIR OWN bank records.

Parents, who have no debts (As far as we know)but are bankrupt?

HSE won’t be taking an interest in the House under Fair Deal scheme.

^^^ all in the last few paragraphs.

Oh, and the OP has already the solution because he’s going to evict the owners of the property.

WHY are people engaging here?

ComputeBison

Hey man, I just want to say first — I'm really sorry you're going through this.

You did nothing wrong. In fact, you did everything right: you stepped up when others didn’t, invested your time, money, and heart into the family home and land. That’s something to be proud of, even if others don’t see it.

It’s awful when family turns like that, especially when you’ve already got enough to deal with health-wise. But what stands out to me is how strong you’ve been — you built something with your own hands, and now you’re still fighting for what’s fair. That takes guts.

I really hope the legal route brings some justice. But no matter how it shakes out, don’t let them make you question your integrity. You did what a decent, honest person does — and the world could use more of that.

false name

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123289139#Comment_123289139

Thanks for your concern but I’m fine .

I put double glazed windows in . An oil burner . A functional septic tank andpiping.

Radiators TVs . With my father we plumbed the whole house .
Me paying for everything .

Oh my siblings bought a fridge freezer 2/3 years ago so maybe they feel entitled

false name

Another thing I meant Esau is now I’m going to the high court to get my old bank records . I am pretty confident that the work and infrastructure I put in will , counting inflation , exceed the worth of the land minus the sites .

and also if my parents are , in effect bankrupt , they can’t sell anything and as pensioners with no assets will be cared for by the state and not pay for it

false name

I realise I may have come across as saying different things .
While , what I call ‘ the farm ‘ isn’t the issue as I think most of it is still going to me ..There are sites with road frontage which my siblings have looked at as free money .
To say how much money I put into the place will take going to the people who did the work and looking for records , which I don’t hold much hope for as its 30 years ago .

I’m going to the high court to get my bank records for the things I can account for . As I have said there wee no farm buildings or infrastructure . Those sites were to build up the farm .

As for the amount I have put in . Allowing for inflation it’s probably closer to 50+K than 10 . Taking out my financial input over the years , it would probably be more than than house is worth .

As I’ve tried to say , my siblings think that there’s a gold mine in sites that until the last few years they were embarrassed about .

When they moved away to college I did my green cert and started tidying the place up .In recognition of that the house and land was left to me in a will they gave me a copy of .

I kept , because of this , buying radiators , tvs , oil burners etc . A lot of stuff .

It’s my siblings who are making a grab for ‘free’ money .

iniscealtra

You need to accept that circumstances have changed and move on.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123288919#Comment_123288919

You keep contradicting yourself. You did say in an earlier post that you paid for everything in your parents house as it only had 4 walls which to me means you practically built their house, now you are saying you didn't, so which us it? You never answered my question of how much money you invested.

Honestly I think your first visit should be to your GP. Your posts here are rambling and difficult to decipher. I'm sorry to say that your posts do not demonstrate the high level of intelligence you say you possess. Now this possibly could be down to your illness but maybe not. I think you should mention this to your doctor though as possibly it's part of your condition.

Sadly you are going to end up in a wheelchair which unfortunately makes you not suitable to take over the farm. The plan you originally had and your parents wishes for the farm changed with this diagnosis sadly.

It is highly probable that your marriage breakup has also caused a problem. Marriage breakdown is a HUGE problem and worry for families that own land. Maybe they do not want to risk that your ex wife may one day have claim to the property.

As I said earlier care comes in many forms and often the most important care/help is not financial. You appear to just value yourself as being a great child. You seem to place no importance on a sibling that may cook your parents dinner every day or give their time to be with your mum. I can bet your siblings are doing alot and have done alot to help your parents but you are ignoring this fact.

Im not sure why you even want the farm given that you have serious health issues. It will be a noose around your neck. I'm guessing your family sees the problems ahead but you dont.

Whats the plan? You want to inherit a farm that you can't farm. You want to alienate all your siblings that you are left with nobody to care for you and your only option is to go into a nursing home and farm is going to have to be sold to pay the fair deal scheme. Who gains here?

In your situation where you will have significant care needs you are better off owning nothing.

airy fairy

Would you talk to your father. Explain how you feel hard done by. Maybe changing the will wasn't done maliciously but concern that you wouldn't be able to take it on in years to come with your illness. Afraid that you'd sell it, they then changed it?

If you weren't in the will years ago, would you have let the parents live in a cold house and encircled with weeds? Would you have left them be? Because you seem to be saying they should be grateful for your investment and now require payback? If you were living there, surely the stuff you paid for was essentially your rent?

And now your mother isn't well. She may need the fair deal scheme in the future, likewise, your father, so there may be nothing much left by the time that's done. You all seem to be counting your chickens and circling like vultures and the parents are still alive.

false name

Fine , just pay me for the money I‘be put in

false name

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123286508#Comment_123286508

I wonder too . Everything happened when I got diagnosed with a condition that would put me in a wheelchair .

I was still able to work and saved my wages to go abroad for treatment that stops my affliction .
To the poster who said I am some man to have saved my money and built a house , I didn’t build a house .
I said in my OP my siblings were embarrassed how we grew up . Eating rabbits and going to cut turf .

My siblings may have helped out with some tasks before I was old enough to do it , but as I said there was not much to do as the land was rented out .
I took over the lease and did improvements on both land and house because I was shown a will that left it to me. and I had my green cert , which I got on the promise of inheriting the land .

newhouse87

TBF to OP he does seem to have done an awful lot for the farm and parents and in most situations that person would be expected to get the farm.

I do wonder what has happened that his father has changed his mind and will, we are not hearing that side of things.

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123286174#Comment_123286174

It's your parents who give an inheritance. Nothing to do with your siblings claiming it. Up to them if they want to share it between all.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123286174#Comment_123286174

I think you may be glorifying yourself. Helping out parents isn't always financial. I'm guessing that you are ignoring that your siblings also helped out on the farm and have looked after your parents. It sounds like it's your siblings who are caring for your mum now not you. What your trying to make out is that you are the best child and your siblings are all bad - which is in all likelihood not true. You have to face the reality that your siblings also helped out and by caring/helping made a bigger contribution to your parents than your financial input.

Please can you put an estimate on the amount of money you spent on the property over the years?

Big Bag of Chips

If my siblings think they can claim an inheritance just because they’re sons/ daughters they First have to pay me for the work .

They don't.

thereiver

Wills can be changed if you put money into the family home you cannot expect to get paid unless there's a formal legal agreement.did you run the farm as a business with crops or other products .who ever is named in the will will get the house or the farm .let's say you did 30 k worth of work your parents probably can't afford to pay you back now someone must be paying the bills esb oil cable tv food etc they have living expenses

false name

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123283370#Comment_123283370

The house and land were basically an overgrown wilderness until I cleaned it up and made a farm out of it .

It’s not like I took over a functioning farm , It was only potentially a decent place , then when it was promised to me , as it always had been , and written into a will , then I pliéed the badly needed money into it .

I bought a tractor , weeded the ragweed , paid vets .
The house was a shell of a place , no central heating and only 2 open fires to warm it .
I bought radiators and with my father chased the floor and installed them put an oil burner in and made the place comfortable for them .

If my siblings think they can claim an inheritance just because they’re sons/ daughters they First have to pay me for the work .
They think it’s a treasure trove of sale able land , when it was , without my investment and going to ag college it was worth far less

[Deleted User]

Get the property valued.

Big Bag of Chips

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123283209#Comment_123283209

So is it worth more or less than what you invested? Because your story keeps shifting. Which makes me believe you are not thinking straight and are just reacting in a knee jerk fashion. It's still not clear what the actual issue is. Are you being cut out entirely, or are you all going to get an equal share? I think you don't know the answer and are just reacting and demanding and threatening.

I hope this is just you letting off steam and in time you will calm down and actually discuss with your family.

But at the end of the day your parents are still alive. Everything belongs to them. Depending on their care needs there mightn't be anything left to divide when the time comes. You don't have any automatic entitlement to anything. They don't owe you repayment of anything. You invested money in the farm and have had the benefit and rewards of that investment over the past 30 years. Unless you expected a return from the farm without investing anything? That's not how business works.

You need to speak to someone. A few people. A solicitor. A counsellor. Your GP. Your consultant. A support group for your illness. You need to look at putting your own affairs in order and having someone act on your behalf. Because what you are doing now is not going to work out too well for you. If you're going to argue your case you need to stick to facts, not throw around emotional arguments.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123283182#Comment_123283182

Morally yes they should compensate you, but legally it's questionable whether they do have an obligation. If you go down the legal route you will have to be able to show what you spent on the property ( have receipts/invoices, show payment leaving your bank account etc)- I'm assuming this may be difficult after all this time or if cash was used.

Also it can be argued that you paid for everything as a gift to your parents. They could also say they never asked you to pay for anything.

As your mum has dementia she can't give any input to what happened at all.

Your best option is to come to an agreement with your siblings and father. They may be willing to compensate you in some way.

However I don't think going the legal route will achieve any good outcome for you

false name

Oh the property is not worthless . It’s not worth what it should be , but not worthless . There are several fields with resowing are perfect for silage . Plus several sites . It’s far from worthless .
it was an embarrassment before I did all the work to bring it up to standards

Big Bag of Chips

No. They don't. Especially not if the money you invested is now worthless because the property is worthless. You made a bad investment and won't get the return you expected. It happens.

false name

I know that . But all my work and expenditure is from the time I was to inherit the land . And was in their will .

The fact that after I brought the place up to 20th century standards while they intended to leave it to me . Carries alot of weight .
If they have changed their minds , which they are entitled to do , they first have to recompense me .

That seems fair , no ?

suvigirl

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123280244#Comment_123280244

Original will means nothing. Any subsequent will made makes the will you saw, null and void.

Big Bag of Chips

There is also conflicting reports of who's getting what.

In one post you say your brother is going to inherit the house. In another you say your siblings have encouraged your parents to split everything equally.

Do you know what your parents intentions are? Because an awful lot of your posts seem to be what you think people are doing, and you ultimately being robbed of some imagined entitlement.

Like I said earlier, you need to try make amends with your family. Free from this bitterness and rage. By making amends you will most likely inherit an equal share. By pitting yourself against your siblings and threatening your elderly parents with eviction from their own home and bankruptcy you'll likely end up cut out and receive nothing.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/123281676#Comment_123281676

Where did he mention that he paid the mortgage? He hasn't made it clear to us at all what the new will states.

thereiver

If it's divided equally than you are getting some payment back for your work .You paid off the mortgage ,you could have made a legal agreement to get paid back or else get part of the estate at that time . Many people take care of old relatives as they get old or infirm and they do not always get left the house or some other relative gets the house .Once you an an adult you must know life is not fair .I know no one on boards ie.

In the old days the farm would be left to the person who was ready to run the farm as a business after the parents have died ,usually a son not a daughter

thereiver

its simple he did work on the house, he paid off part of the mortgage , he left cash in the house and it was stolen.Now he wants an agreement to get paid from the estate for his work, and the mortgage payment , as the parents have decided to give the house to a sibling in the will. Its clear that he is at the moment mentioned in the will, the farm,house will go to his brother.