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Child Item

Burnout

annsie2003

hi all

I am in severe burnout I can’t function very well at the moment the exhaustion is there is no word for it. It’s a combination of diagnosis of ASD and adhd as an adult, childhood trauma , working full time , parenting child with disabilities, family commitments and no support that has lead to this. I am trying my hardest to find hse support but unless suicidal it seems to be either impossible to find for me or non existent. I am looking at at pats homecare package but I can’t establish how much this would costs (no private health insurance ). Has anyone accessed this or have any ideas on how to access any mental health supports. I do breathwork and mediation but the lack of sleep is really affecting my ability to deal with anything.

Gentle replies please as a very fragile mind is at the other side of this message. Thank you

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The Black Oil

Moved from Psychology. Personal Issues forum charter now applies.

Andrea B.

Hi.

Sorry you are enduring this.

Just on the sleep front, which you recognise as crucial. Which of below or other might fit your situation.

Is it that no time available to sleep?

Have some time, but disturbed by young child needs?

Have time, but stress keeps you awake?

Sleep, for what you feel should be adequate time, but still feel burnt out after?

PaulPog

Very sorry you're going through this OP.

Only things for sure here is something needs to change. You may be physically present 100% for those who need you but if you aren't functioning you'll only be about 25% present.

You need to schedule in some selfish time, which may mean a little less time for work and family but you'll be far more useful when you're actually with them.

Good diet, exercise(preferably with others), friends and regular human connection are absolute fundamentals for good mental health and sleep so if you're neglecting any or all of those you need to change that.

You can't be a hero all the time so try to take even a little burden off yourself.

YellowLead

When you say ‘family commitments’ what are they? Is it your parents? Have you siblings that can help out? Surely the fact that you are parenting a disabled child means they should take more of the burden. Or else your can your parents afford to pay for a bit of home support?

working full time and parenting a disabled child means you probably have very little alone time / time to relax which is causing the burn out. Any chance you could trim back your hours? Any friends at all who could give a few hours once a month?

Try and talk to somebody about all of this, you need support.

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122272566#Comment_122272566

sleep issues is part and parcel of asd, tis a nightmare, i know people with asd that have long term insomnia, 'thankfully' i just have normal dysfunctional sleep, and im definitely getting better with understanding and protecting my sleep as best as possible, and its working

its very difficult to switch off the asd mind for sleep, as rumination can be chronic, i suspect neurotypicals dont have as significant issues, although im sure sleep issues can be extremely serious amongst those that dont have asd to. this means simply getting asleep and staying asleep can be extremely difficult for those of us on the spectrum, regularly waking at night is common, and struggling to get back to sleep, all resulting in very disrupted sleep. i personally have to rest for anything up to 15 hours a day, in order to be able to sleep as best as possible at night, but this regularly also doesnt work. im only currently getting 4-6 hours a night, but i need at least 8 hours regularly in order to remain functioning, if this continues i will start to experience heightened levels of anxiety and low mood, resulting in lack of motivation and abilities to function throughout the day without energy crashes

i clearly dont know the details of the op, but it wouldnt surprise me…..

Wanderer78

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122273130#Comment_122273130

social isolation is common with asd, so sometimes theres very little in regards social supports including family and friends, im clearly making a lot of judgments here in regards the ops situation, its not meant in a negative way, but for clarity…..

long term unemployment is also extremely common with asd, its also common for many to be continually be in and out of employment….

[Deleted User]

>>Mod Snip« offering medical advice is not permitted on boards

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The immediate HSE support that I can think of is counselling in Primary care, although I can't personally recommend the service it might be a stepping stone to getting better help elsewhere and it's free essentially. As a parent with a child with disabilities is there a support network available that might be able to offer advice or respite services? Similarly as an adult with ASD/ADHD do you have access to community like aspire or asiam who might be able to link you with supports in your area?

Strumms

You could go to your GP, enquire about a home care package provided by the state…

However it’s important to know that there is a chronic shortage of carers considering the high demand brought on too by our ever burgeoning population so…..being realistic about that is important.

fits

Hi Op. big hug.

Could you phone family carers ireland ? Maybe they could give some advice and offer support.

I am also a carer and sleep helps an awful lot. I go to bed around 9. To hell with anything else needing doing. I get a lot done in the mornings instead.

marilynrr

Do you have insomnia or do you just not have time to sleep?

Do you have any local charities that offer mental health support services? In my area I know many people who have turned to them due to the lack of support from the HSE or the wait times and found them great, many would be free and just ask that you pay a contribution if you can afford it.

abouttocrackup

I would assume St Pats would be very expensive. Finding affordable therapy is not easy, but there might be something near you that is available. Pieta house could be a good place to start. I called them and they were able to give me some great advice. I didnt use their services but I know several that have.

Lack of sleep can a huge problem, I had problems sleeping for a long time. I was very stressed and my mind would never stop racing. I went to my doc and he prescribed some anti anxiety meds and also a very mild sleeping tablet. The sleeping tablet was only for 2 weeks, it helped me sleep while the anti anxiety meds were taking effect. I stopped the sleeping tablets after 2 weeks and the other meds just took the edge off the stress. Some people disagree with anti anxiety meds but it allows me concentrate better and I can also handle stressful situations better.

NiceFella

OP,

Firstly as for having pretty bad sleep issues all my life. I can't stress enough that a good routine is the best way to help resolve this. Do the same things at the same times generally especially in the evenings. Eating meals, playing, watching tv, going for walks, reading stories etc. This will ground you in life and make things far easier for you.

Keep up the breathing exercises, and do them for as long as you need when you feel you have to. The box breathing method is amazing for stress and if you're consistent in your practice your stress levels will reduce considerably. Here's a link that explains the method but the trick is mainly to have a longer exhale than inhale.

https://youtu.be/p8fjYPC-k2k?si=FnZasoL9gtYvz2Ud

Eating as good as you can is also important when you are stressed. One of the best healthy meals that is also very cheap, is grilled sardines on top of spinach combination. Super healthy and super cheap that will give you great energy levels. Has everything in it, protein, vitamin D (many carers lack this), omega profile and fibre and green nutrients. I didn't like the look of sardines at first but when you grill them they are amazing. Can buy a can for like 49c in lidl or Aldi.

Watch caffeine intake if you can, maybe knockoff having any after 3pm or 4pm each day. I notice many really stressed people are big coffee drinkers. While a little is good, too much will not help relaxing in the evening.

But again routine is the main point here. Ultimately it's going to be about discipline and you'll have days were you are tired that will make it tough, but when you get into that routine you'll find you need and want it. It will make your life so much easier in the long run.

OP, take this as a challenge and believe you me, you are far more tougher than you realize and I've seen many people who'd been in tough situations realize that they were far stronger than they had known. In my family we had some people who needed a lot of care too.

Also, have you any family or friends that could maybe give you a dig out? You'd be surprised who would respond if you try reach out.

Joe286

There should be a mental health service in every big town. Goggle it. I would get on to your local TD and ask about home help services. They can be really helpful in locating and advocating for them.