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Invited to wedding but not hen

parisee88

Hi guys,

I got married recently but had a small family hen due to time constraints. I am in a large group with a friend who was invited to my wedding with their partner. I went on social media and saw all the posts from the hen and kind of presumed I would have been invited. We are not that bffs but it still kinda stung! Am I weird for feeling this way.

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cnocbui

Ghost 'em and move on.

bartkingcole

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058346688/invited-to-wedding-but-not-hen

. You have saved a fortune and avoided a bad weekend. If you want to make a point, buy them a hen house as the wedding present or save yourself even more money and don’t go to the wedding.

bucketybuck

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058346688/invited-to-wedding-but-not-hen

They copied what you did, so why would you be upset?

You didn't invite them to your hen, that told them how you viewed the friendship. They have responded accordingly. I don't know what else you expected to happen?

SuperBowserWorld

Yawn, hen parties, stag parties, marriage.

🤣

Edit ... not being facetious, just saying don't worry about it. Waste of energy.

JVince

Ffs, get over it.

I can assure you that life is going to throw you a hell of a lot more important issues than this.

Or maybe the snowflake generation see something like this as an "important" issue?

RurtBeynolds

So you didn't invite them to your hen and now you're butt hurt because you weren't invited to theirs?

The level of self-entitlement is astounding.

LimeFruitGum

You can't really complain here if you didn't invite her to your hen either. If I felt insulted for every time someone I knew had a small family-only hen/stag/wedding, I'd burst :) I do not take it personally at all, because I know I'd do the exact same thing if it were me.

Was everyone else in that group was there except you, and that's why you feel down about it? Or were there a few others who weren't invited / didn't go?

GreeBo

I'm reading the OP as they had a small family hen, but the friend had a full blown "everyone but the OP" hen party.

I think if everyone else went you are entitled to feel hurt by it, nothing snoflakey or entitled about that.

If they didnt invite you to the wedding then I think thats fine, weddings cost money so they do tend to be tit for tat. But a Hen? sure everyone pays their own way, so seems like your "friend" went out of their way to exclude you as some sort of punishment, since it should have been no skin off their nose either way.

Are all your friends aware that yours was family only, or do they all just think they didnt get invited?

endacl

You did her a favour by letting her off a tiresome event, and you returned the favour.

What’s the issue?

SupaCat95

You must have some sweet life if this your biggest worry getting married. Most people are now struggling with finding a place to live, finding a house, qualifying for a mortgage, finding a priest or venue.

I think you should be more focusing on your own wedding, pre marriage course etc etc. These are real wedding issues. Not that you werent invited to a night out that everyone doesnt remember afterwards. Storm in a tea cup sort of stuff.

laketreeroger

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122056383#Comment_122056383

Numbers can be an issues at hens and stags depending on accommodations. Very easy to drop the person who didn’t invite you to theirs. But yeah could have also been out of spite.

Faith

Mod Note: Posters are reminded to be civil. Just because you feel that a problem is small or inconsequential doesn't negate the experience of the OP, who is clearly experiencing the issue in a strong way. Everyone has their own relative difficulties and many of you would do well to remember that you can be compassionate even if you can't relate directly to the issue. There is also no obligation to reply if you can't be nice.

standardg60

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/122013996#Comment_122013996

This exactly, maybe the friend was hurt that they weren't invited to your hen OP, did you mention yours was family only to give them a heads up?

heretothere

It could be that she didn't think it'd be 'your thing' since you had a small hen.

I wasn't invited to a hen I sort of thought I would have been, I was a bit jealous but moved on. We were not that close, I went to her wedding and had a great time. We are still as friendly as we had been before.

Those saying you've little to be worrying about need to cop on. Sometimes little things that you know in the grand scheme don't really matter do hurt.

Mollyb60

Last year I was invited to a wedding when I hadn't been invited to the hen. I wasn't expecting an invite to the wedding at all so I assume we were a second tier batch of invites. No other reason for me not to be invited to the hen otherwise - all other friends in the friend group were. I didn't care though. Went to the wedding anyway and had a great time. Plus less money spent on the whole thing! I would try not to get hung up on it.

stargazer 68

My stepdaughter had 250 people at her wedding so let's go with 125 women. 25 were invited to her hen. Her father wasn't invited to the stag and neither was the father of the groom. Not everyone gets invited to the hens or stag.

Various reasons, group dynamics etc

blackbox

Forget it and move on.