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P*ss off and don’t be bothering me

SMdPP87

Called into a friend’s house earlier for 5 mins and parked outside his neighbours house, semi-d, on the road, located in a cul-de-sac.

Upon leaving, his neighbour approached me and asked whether this was my car to which I replied it was.

He said that I had parked dangerously and shouldn’t park it where I had in future. It wasn’t dangerously parked in the slightest and I guess he was peeved it was outside his house.

I was just about to instinctively apologise when something came over me and I found myself replying ‘P*ss of and don’t be bothering me’. He replied again that I parked dangerously and something else which I didn’t quite hear to which I replied, ‘Would you ever f*uck off and don’t be such a narky f*uck’.

Fierce debate in the house here. I wouldn’t usually react in such a manner but now coming to realise that people such as him should be told to sit down in situations like this.

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ruth...less

Ye I think you should go and **** yourself.

ruth...less

Sounds like a big annoying as **** karen looking for attention to me..

Deja Boo

My, aren't we feeling a wee bit curmudgeonly.

Ubbquittious

People are very quick to get annoyed by other people since covid/lockdown has shown them it's possible to live life only interacting with machines

Sonic the Shaghog

Ah I don't blame you. These sort of awkward, cranky oul **** would drive you mad at times, especially if it was for only 5 mins. Anything at all to have a moan. I find especially in Ireland and the UK, most people are timid with people like this to "keep the peace" which emboldens these cranks more.

blackbox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121604854#Comment_121604854

I'd say the opposite is true. People put up with a lot here (to keep the peace). In other countries, abusers are more likely to be called out.

Not saying the neighbour was correct in the first place - we don't actually know how the car was parked.

MintyMagnum

Luckily in this country the general public don’t own guns

greenspurs

A lot of people think its fine to just dump (park) their car anywhere they feel is ok.

My local town, people park on both side of the narrow streets, up on footpaths and all around the local centra.

You dont drive on a side of the road - you drive down the middle..

Its very fcuking annoying, but some people feel entitled to dump their vehicle wherever suits THEM , not thinking of any inconvenience or danger being put on other road users/pedestrians/people on bikes...

(not insinuating anything on the OPs - just an example)...

Edited - Footpaths - Not carparks!!

raclle

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121604956#Comment_121604956

Social perspective taking which most people don't get. We don't know this guys situation. Many people could be parking outside his house. Maybe he likes his privacy. He could have been expecting someone. This is why we apologize even though we're just been polite and don't necessarily understand.

terminator74

I totally agree with your sentiment here - you were clearly dealing with a Karen who is looking to have a row.

However, an expletive laden response just validates the Karen's action. By you giving an emotional response, this make it appear, in his eyes, that you are an unreasonable person and have acted wrongly.

In my experience, the best response to a person such as this (in any context) is to look at them and calmly say 'are you ok? or follow up and say 'Is there something wrong with you?' . This can disarm the person and make them question their behaviour. (and feel foolish). It puts you in control of the situation and allows you to walk away with the upper hand.

Princess Calla

Regardless of who is right or wrong in this situation your friend has to live next to this person.

Simplest thing would have been to reply " oh right yeah" and move on with your day.

There's a high probability now he'll be looking out at all your friends guests and giving out which could potentially result in a stressful time for your friend. The innocent party in all of this.

dxhound2005

How could two people have such a divergent view on what is dangerous parking?

Cyrus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121604972#Comment_121604972

regardless of his situation the area outside his house is no more his than anyone elses, so if his preference is for privacy he needs to get a house where the area outside of it isnt owned by the council or similar.

mykrodot

If I drove into and estate an parked outside someone else house, then came out and the house owner was there and told me not to do that again, my first reaction would be to just say "sorry I didn't think I was in the way"........ I might be annoyed in myself and think to myself "what a cranky old git" but I would just apologise and move on.

Likely this is always happening to him and he probably has a right to be cranky. Pick your fights

Cyrus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121605284#Comment_121605284

again why does he have a right to be cranky? assuming the OP isnt blocking his gate or on a double yellow and assuming it isnt on a private common area.

Tombo2001

Every now and then something like this happens - and its funny how often, when it does happen, its triggered by what happens on roads.

Seems like you were both wrong in how ye handled it - although if I was to lean one way, yes it is a bit of an unwritten rule that you dont block peoples driveways when you are parking, if thats what happened.

I'd write it off, no point in beating yourself up over it.

5uspect

How exactly were you parked?

Were you parked on the footpath?

never_mind

Were you parked in a way that would mean a fire engine might not be able to fit down the road? Then yes, that would be dangerous, but yeah... He could have said it a nicer way.

mykrodot

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121605288#Comment_121605288

Anyone has the right to be cranky, anytime, about anything.

I'm just saying what I'd do. Life is too short.......................

SMdPP87

My car was not in anyway parked dangerously or blocking his drive or causing any obstruction.

He clearly has issues with people parking outside his house and doesn’t want others parking there, for his own reasons.

He doesn’t own the public road. I also live in an estate and I am subject to same outside my property.

Perhaps if he approached me and said, would you mind not parking here in future please, I would have no problem and agreed.

However, he chose to be a pr*ck and accuse me of parking dangerously so I chose my fight, backed myself and told him to p*ss off.

Thinking that if same situation happened to a more vulnerable person, it could be a very upsetting situation for them; being accused of something they didn’t do and spoken to in a chastising way.

I’m not saying I’m on a mission or trying to be a hero, but perhaps people like him in these situations should be put in their place when the opportunity arises.

taxAHcruel

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121604823#Comment_121604823

Yeah I honestly can not imaging acting like either of the people described in the opening post. Neither of them appear on this vague description to have acted in a useful, empathetic, or productive way. Given the paltry information I can imagine how I would have acted as either party. But there is also so much we do not know about the event having not been there and only getting second hand (biased) descriptions.

But people are not isolated events. How they act in a given situation is an amalgamation of all the situations they have been through before that moment. Humans often forget there is a whole history behind every other human in a given situation - and go into any interaction with a rather 2D view of the person before them like it's just a simple machine with a fixed state.

dxhound2005

Does the fact that it is a cul de sac as mentioned in the post have any relevance?

looksee

Sounds as though both the neighbour and the op were unreasonable, but I used live at the end of a cul-de-sac and visitors used park in the turning circle all the time, (residents didn't usually) which meant that if you drove down the road you had to reverse out, which is less than safe, especially if there were kids around.

Cyrus

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121605663#Comment_121605663

in that scenario would it not make sense to lobby the council and get them to put double yellow lines? if there arent any again no one is doing anything wrong.

[Deleted User]

Hard to comment without knowing how the car was parked. Maybe the OP thought he was parked ok, maybe the neighbour had a point. Either way there was no need to be so aggressive and its probably going to create an issue for the friend with his neighbour.

I had an issue with a neighbour parking outside my house every evening, he probably thought the way he was parked was fine, but in reality he was so close to my pillar it was making it extremely difficult for me to see oncoming traffic when I was exiting my driveway, especially if the other neighbour directly opposite had his work van parked on the road (as he usually does as it doesn't fit in the driveway).

One day when I saw him at his car I asked him to come into the garden and sit in my driver's seat so he could see my difficulty and when he saw it for himself he agreed he was too close and from then on he parked a few feet further back. Problem solved. No row. He still parks there.

FortuneChip

There's a large middle ground between apologising (when you feel you've done nothing wrong) and telling a person to p*ss off.

I mean, as you've phrased it in your post, he didn't even go that bad on you, he just told you that you shouldn't do it in future. Regardless of how safe/unsafe the parking job was, it seems like a reasonable thing to request. You don't have to abide by it, but you can remain respectful. Unless there's other info not in your post.

Gregor Samsa

I had to change a headlight bulb in my car last Saturday. Turns out, this necessitates taking off the wheel and the wheel arch liner (19 screws), and accessing the headlight cluster from behind. There's no other way to do it - believe me I tried. Stupid design, and a relatively big job.

So a couple of hours later, after successfully changing the bulb, I'm lying on my back, half under the jacked-up car, in the wet and cold, with darkness rapidly approaching, trying to get the wheel arch liner properly refitted - there's tabs and screws and lips, and while it'll just rip out, to get it back in requires things being done in a very particular order for which there's no documentation.

Next thing I hear a woman's voice saying "hello!". I half roll out from under the car, covered in dirt and look up to see a woman with a bundle of Social Democrat leaflets in her hand.

"Hi, I just wanted to drop one of these in to your house".

She's standing in my driveway. I'm under a car, wet, cold, covered in muck, surrounded by tools, parts and torches. My front door is 8 steps away. It has a letterbox - specifically designed for such things to be inserted into. Why on earth is she even considering that it's appropriate to engage me in conversation at this time, in this situation, for this purpose?

I was just so, so disappointed by her. I sighed "I'm really busy here. Can you please leave me alone?". She looked shocked, as if I was somehow inconveniencing her, and walked off silently.

‘P*ss of and don’t be bothering me’ is what I should have said.

dxhound2005

Not regardless of how safe/unsafe the parking was. If no law was being broken, it was unreasonable of the neighbour. Unless he owns the place where the car was parked.

Mrs OBumble

"I will, yeah" was the correct response to Ken.

But - are you sure you weren't dangerously parked?

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121605760#Comment_121605760

I can appreciate that she made her presence and intent known but.. surely the intelligent angle is to say “hey there I’m just delivering pamphlets, I see you’re busy so I’ll just leave one in the post box thanks!”

In would be weird I think to just walk past you and say nothing but to try and encourage you to come out from under the car to take it is silly. 🤣