nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Sexism in Ireland

chacha11

I'm Irish. I grew up in Ireland. Then I lived in the UK for many years, then I lived in France for some time.

I moved back to Ireland a year ago, as on of my elderly parents is sick.

I can't get over the level of sexism in Ireland.

When I was in England, men there would talk to me about news, education, current affairs. They were able to have a polite conversation with me.

I came back to Ireland, and the men here talk to me like I'm an animal. It's shocking

I remember it being bad in Ireland when I was younger. But how can it still be this bad now in 2023?

I was used to being talked to with respect in the UK. I was used to men being able to have a polite conversation with me.

Here in Ireland, the men either sneer and laugh at me, call me stupid, or talk to me about sex.

It's so bad! Why is there such a lack of respect for women in Ireland ?

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

Lewis_Benson

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603667#Comment_121603667

Sorry to hear that.

Would it be very often it happens?

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603641#Comment_121603641

The 'normal men' for want of a better word, far outweigh the others to be fair, and younger Irish men do then to be much more comfortable with woman.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603074#Comment_121603074

Thanks. I get that a lot

Pauliedragon

OP your comments are coming across as generalising about Irish men and it's not fair to do that. I have had plenty of female friends/colleagues and aquantiances over the years and I have never been inappropriate with any of them. Neither have my male friends. Do you think there might be a reason why my female friend who has lived in both Ireland and the UK feels safer here? Anything bad experiences you've been through I feel bad for you. But the stories I hear from people who have lived in both countries say the UK is much worse for sexism.

awanderer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603277#Comment_121603277

I am French and I can assure you that having a mistress is no more accepted in France than it is in Ireland. I even remember a plumber in a town I lived in, who had to move away after cheating on the mother of his children. She threw him out, he moved with his mistress and people would never call him for a job after that. Mistresses were never accepted in France except in courts in the past (but then it was the same all over the world) and in some very small intellectual/artistic/political, mainly Parisian, circles it seems.

It is so frustrating to hear/read that same silly and baseless assertion repeated over and over again.

Beside that, I fully agree about Ireland being sexist but I believe it is based in the place that the country gave to women historically, including in its constitution.

Donald Trump

It is quite common, not just in Ireland for ladies to revel in, and enjoy the benefits of their relatively privileged position in their 20's and maybe into their early 30's. Thereafter, they don't like that system as they are replaced by a younger cohort (who are then reaping the concentrated benefits). There is a double fall really - from an "artificially" elevated position to one that is "artificially" lowered.

And when they are in their younger years, they often "reward" the men who display the behaviour and traits you now don't like. From your post, you do appear to be mixing in some strange company though

People just have to accept life and get on with things. It doesn't happen to everyone of course but there are sizeable chunk for whom it appears to be a bit of a shock when reality lands.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603663#Comment_121603663

I'm not sure why I'm being questioned on who I'm hanging around with, when I said that ive been sexually harassed by men while I was simply walking on the street in Ireland.

Cna I choose what men are walking on the street with me?

I also didn't say I've only been sexually harassed at meetup groups.

I saw bad sexual behaviour when I was in college in Ireland. I saw men chanting and laughing "any hole's a goal" at a young age.

Since then I've been sexually harassed at book clubs, acting groups, music bands in ireland. Loads of different social settings in Ireland.men have been inappropriate How does it make any sense for you or anyone to say to me "choose better who you hang around with" eh no. And it's happened to lots of women I know too. Ive had loads of chats with my female friends about this.

Sadly we now tell each other which places to avoid, which places are not safe. So we won't get sexually harassed there

nachouser

It's a wind-up thread. Either that or the OP overheard a couple of lads talking about how they might best go about raping someone and they didn't bother to inform that someone.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603709#Comment_121603709

You say women are privileged in their early twenties. You are again valuing women by their sexual worth alone. Women don't see themselves like that.

Twenties are a nice time and is a fun time

But most women have better careers and more money in their thirties . So thirties is a great time too.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603709#Comment_121603709

It is only some men who think this.

I have only some heard men say this about women. They say that women are worth nothing when they get older. Which is obviously a horrible thing to say.

What I have heard from women themselves , is that their lives get better and better as they get older. That why really enjoy life into their forties fifties and sixties. My aunt just got marrie door the first time at age 56 and her and her husband are so sweet and in love

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603729#Comment_121603729

Well they are privileged compared to women in their 40's. No point saying otherwise. A lot of life is just easier for a good-looking 25 year old. And I'd say the majority who are in that position don't mind it when they are 25.

chacha11

Ah typos. That should say

It is only some men who think this.

I have only some heard men say this about women. They say that women are worth nothing when they get older. Which is obviously a horrible thing to say.

What I have heard from women themselves , is that their lives get better and better as they get older. That they really enjoy life into their forties, fifties and sixties. My aunt just got married for the first time at age 56 and her and her husband are so sweet and in love

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603722#Comment_121603722

Well said nachouser. This is a complete wind up or paranoia that's on a completely different level. My guess is the former.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603736#Comment_121603736

Nobody said your life couldn't get better. But your focus will be different to your 20s. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603722#Comment_121603722

Can you read?

Go back and read my comment.

Do you See where it says "I reported this conversation about sexual assault to the group leader". Nothing was done

Good man.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603747#Comment_121603747

Ah the textbook "calling the woman crazy to diminish her" comment. You're so predictable pauliedragon.

HamSarris

I would struggle to think of any outwardly sexist comments or behaviours I witnessed in recent years. In fact, I would now say that most men have an instinctive anxiety about saying anything that could be construed as sexist and risk getting hauled up before HR. There will be a lot fewer marriages in the coming years because the guy was too afraid to ask his future wife out for a drink.

I can only think of two explanations for the OP’s experience.

The OP works or socialises in contexts where the 5% or so of sexist men in Ireland are more prevalent – e.g., alcoholics, drug users, low IQs, criminals etc. who don’t have much to lose by making a sexist comment, working in a nightclub around drunk men, working with tradies where banter (aimed at all sexes and races) is part of the entertainment of the day.
The OP has had past difficult experiences with men which causes their brain to be overly sensitive to anything that could be perceived as sexist - a comment about online dating is perceived as a creepy, comment about sex; a harmless compliment by an ugly guy is perceived as harassment; constructive criticism by a manager is perceived as putting women down. One problem with such a mindset and attitude is that it can actually elicit sexist behaviours from men. For example, women who treat all men as creeps aren't going to get the most respectful behaviours in return.

So I'm sorry OP if you've been unfortunate enough to keep encountering sexist men but the suggestion that Ireland is some sexist cesspool compared to the UK or continential Europe holds no objective weight.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603740#Comment_121603740

You're just really saying a woman's life is easier at 25 than at 40 because she looks better I guess

But the woman doesn't just think about her looks does she. She thinks about money and how comfortable she is in life. Im early thirties. I feel that life is much much easier for me now than when I was early twenties. In early twenties you are in a lower paid job. In your thirties you've worked your way up to a good job and you have a lot more money. I'm early thirties and I find life is much easier for me now than when I was in my early twenties. I have more money. I've a much better car. Life is easier in every way financially. I can't speak for every woman though. Maybe some found their twenties easier

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603766#Comment_121603766

If you can quote me where I said you were crazy please?

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603722#Comment_121603722

I really don't know how to argue with someone who didn't even basically read what I wrote.

You said "i didn't bother to inform someone " about the rape talk.

When I clearly wrote in my post

"I informed the group leader about the conversation, and nothing was done".

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603793#Comment_121603793

Are you going to apologise for accusing me of calling you crazy because I didn't.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603786#Comment_121603786

Seriously. Your exact words were "the OP has paranoia on a different level".

Lovely

awanderer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603634#Comment_121603634

I agree with the fact that racism is much more obvious and a much bigger issue at the moment and I am sure it is much easier to be a woman than Traveller or a black man in Ireland. However, there is rarely a day when I don't get annoyed by the everyday, insidious, sexism. It is not hate, just men being condescending without even meaning to be. And even much worse: women behaving as if men were above them (also without realising they do so). I have been living in Ireland for over 2 decades and it still shocks me.

YellowLead

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603784#Comment_121603784

More money on JSA? 😁

nachouser

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603761#Comment_121603761

"In fact I left one social group that I went to in Ireland, because I overheard two of the men talking about another woman that was in the grouo. They were joking that he should get her very drunk and then bring her back to his house and remember if she says no, it means yes.

I couldn't stomach being around those guys and I left that social group. I did report that conversation to the group leader. I don't think anything was done"

But, according to you, you didn't bother to give the heads up to the woman who was casually being discussed and, apparently overheard by you, as a rape target. Yeah, good luck.

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603784#Comment_121603784

That's fine. I didn't say life couldn't get better - I already made that explicit.

For what anecdotes are worth, I remember a female friend of mine who was a complete stunner in her 20's. I would see randomers acting what I would have described as sexist and objectifying towards her. But she loved that at the time. I'm sure the constant attention was very flattering. She appeared to have a a very soft spot for what she described as "a rogue". And it wasn't just in bars or nightclubs - it would be going into a shop or garage or something in the middle of the day. She was subject to it constantly. But it always put a smile on her face. Nearly any fella from early 20's to mid 40's or even older who met her would try to chat her up.

A bit after she hit her 30's she completely turned around and began to detest that sort of culture. She now thinks what the "same" lads do today is disgusting. I say "same" as in the same age and mentality and actions as the ones she basically used to encourage, albeit indirectly. I do feel sorry for her in some ways. Although she says she doesn't mind. She obviously realises what was going on in those days and that most of those interactions were meaningless but I'd have to imagine it would still be difficult.

Pauliedragon

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603811#Comment_121603811

There's a big difference between paronoia and crazy. Paranoia is by defanition means unjustified suspicion and mistrust. In my opinion your comments about Irish men are unjustified.Crazy is defined as being wild or aggressive. I never suggested you were wild or aggresive. I never once suggested you were crazy.

chacha11

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603767#Comment_121603767

What am awful diminishing post

Again you've written the very strange argument which has been said on here before of "it's ops fault for choosing bad men to hang around with."

When the simple fact is that women experience sexual harrrasment and abuse in many places that they go to in life. Women have reported sexual harassment in colleges, walking down the street in daytime, walking in parks. It is nothing to do with what men women choose to hang around with. And you know it.

You said I hang around with men who are alcoholics/drug users /low iq. I have never met an alcoholic or a drug addict . I don't know any.

If you read the thread I have said many times now that the sexual harrrasment I have experiences has been in normal situations and by "well educated" men.

At colleges. In meetup groups. In book clubs. In choirs.

I don't know why you think "well educated " men with good jobs don't sexually harass people. Look at the doctors that have been in trouble for sexually abusing women

Furze99

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121602835#Comment_121602835

I think you have an agenda with a capital A.

Galwayguy35

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121603623#Comment_121603623

100%