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Child Item

Unhealthy Gifts When Visiting for Tea

Electric Gypsy

It never ceases to amaze me the way it's the done thing to bring over a cake, scones, or a tart when visiting. The host also feels obliged to have an unhealthy gift for the visitors too. In some cases neither of them may actually want to eat the food... they just take a few nibbles out of politeness when in each others' company, and then suggest the teenagers can eat it during the week. The food then remains in the house untouched for a day or two before finally being thrown out. Of course a lot of the time it gets eaten, and therefore it's no wonder we're such a fat country.

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Greyfox

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121418102#Comment_121418102

No, time with friends should be treated as a nice occasion rather than an ordinary one, offering a treat is making an effort to savour important moments. If me or my friend is struggling with having treats in moderation then the onus is on that person to explain this beforehand and if they don't do this then it's tough luck if the host offers a treat 3 or 4 times as the host means well.

tikka16751

Don’t bring ky jelly wrong impression

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121409613#Comment_121409613

No cinnamon or nutmeg though.

That just shows you despise your hosts and don't want to be invited again...excellent idea.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121410199#Comment_121410199

For dipping.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121413726#Comment_121413726

Melted moro bars chocolate?

unknown

This content has been removed.

Jellybaby_1

Couldn't resist posting. If you are invited to a party you probably would turn up with a bottle of wine, bunch of flowers or box of chocolates. if you are invited 'to supper', yes bring some nice treat. You're going to be served a nice meal so bring along some appreciation of that, (just watch 'Come Dine with Me). If you are 'just popping round for a cuppa'. then no, you don't need to bring anything because it's just a cuppa and a chat, very casual. But if you are invited 'to tea', then it would be nice to contribute something, however I don't know if anyone invites people 'to tea' any more, I think that is a bit outdated now, might have happened in the 50's. I repeat, just watch 'Come Dine with Me, you may hear a comment about a guest who turns up with one arm longer than the other and seen as a meany person!! It's all etiquette, you should try to get it right.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121416496#Comment_121416496

My so called unhealthy attitude towards food ironically keeps me very healthy.

In reality it doesn't end up being 'occasional'. That's why we're such a fat nation. Don't you get it? If I were eating occasional unhealthy food, that mightn't be so bad, but then what's going to happen the next time I'm bored or unhappy?? I'm going to go for that food... it's all too easy. But in my current routine, the thought wouldn't even occur to me.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121420996#Comment_121420996

That may all be true. But I think you're missing the point. I remember when I was younger, there was this fella who'd actually bring a cake every time he'd call! My parents would give out mad about it when he'd left.

I always just have the tea. I hate it when I'm offered some junk for the second time, and then I hear someone have to clarify for me "yeah, he's healthy". Then the other will say "well there's nothing wrong with that". I should be able to refuse politely without someone needed to justify my refusal. You then get labelled as the healthy guy.

[Deleted User]

"...what's going to happen the next time I'm bored or unhappy?? I'm going to go for that food... "

That really sounds like a "you" problem.

Most people can be both - enjoy treats and be healthy. It's called moderation.

I think your attitude towards food is not so-called un-healthy - it is unhealthy.

If you don't want to eat a treat when its offered, then don't. No one is going to hold you down and force it down your throat.

Talk about making a mountain out of a molehill.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121421885#Comment_121421885

Nope, I'm in great shape as a result of my attitude towards food, it doesn't mean I go around thinking it out loud. It mightn't conform with the social norms here, but that doesn't mean it's an unhealthy attitude. Completely different thing.

'Most people' are impulsive and eat what they feel like eating without thinking, or else make a rationalisation for doing so. That's why we're the second most obese country in Europe... a point you don't want to address.

Goodbye.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121421987#Comment_121421987

No, I wouldn't waste my time trying to discuss such a complex issue as obesity with someone who has an attitude like yours.

Most people don't take such offence at a friend offering them a biscuit or treat with a cuppa that they have to start threads on internet discussion boards to complain about it.

They just say "no, thank you."

See ya.

ottolwinner

I used to always bring some pink fingers for tea. Always raised eyebrows when I’d announce “here’s some pink fingers for you”.

tabby aspreme

When visiting people, I bring a bunch of nettles and some recordings of the Joe Duffy show, nettle flogging, nettle tea and uplifting audio enjoyment.

blade1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121422702#Comment_121422702

Surely with the nettles, you'd listen to a bit of Sting.

witchgirl26

OP you do know that obesity is a much more complex thing than someone having the odd biscuit or piece of cake with a cup of tea? Like a lot more complex. And trying to bring it down to that level is quite insulting to people who are obese & struggle with it despite eating healthily & not having treats.

Look eat the biscuits or don't but my parents instilled in me that if I was invited to someone's home I should bring something. So I do. If it's for a dinner, I'll offer to bring the desert. If it's for a cup of tea & a chat, I'll bring a small pack of biscuits. If I know the person I'm visiting is likely to have cakes or is trying to not eat as many treat type foods, I'll bring flowers or a plant.

It's less about forcing unhealthy food on people and more around trying to be a good, polite guest/host.

And anyway, doctors & dieticians are trying to get people away from using terms like "good" or "bad" or "healthy" and "unhealthy" in relation to food as that can cause more problems in the long run with relationships with food. Look at how you've talked about "unhealthy" here. What's healthy is a balanced diet which can include some treat type, occasional foods.

Jellybaby_1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121421840#Comment_121421840

I think you just might be pulling our legs here! But if you're serious, if someone brings cake every time then the poor guy just lacks imagination, and if he upsets anyone that much then don't invite him again. When the blasted calorific cake does arrive, and if nobody wants to eat it, there may be a neighbour who might be glad of it, particularly a family with kids. Pass the thing on, don't waste another moment of your time on it. Life's too short. But I do feel my leg being pulled still!

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121425093#Comment_121425093

It's only complex if you make it so. The odd biscuit is part of the problem, whether you like it or not... because in reality it doesn't end up being the odd one. If it's not the odd biscuit, it's the odd ice cream, the odd burger, or the odd pizza, etc. Junk food is everywhere. Each 'treat' is yet another part of the overall problem, and in order to solve problems you need to break them down into parts. Believe it or not, the sh1t people put into their bodies has a lot to do with obesity. There seems to be people out there trying to complicate obesity alright, possibly either so that they can make money, or so that fat people won't have to feel as bad. but you basically want to act as if it's just a coincidence that Ireland is the second most obese country in Europe. Obesity is primarily due to one or all of the following three factors; junk food, over-prescription of antibiotics, and having a sedentary lifestyle.

I've got news for you; certain foods are 'bad', regardless of what euphemism a dietician puts on them... and that's a terrible trend too btw. You could apply that same logic to any substance you put into your body, including alcohol. Deep fat fried pizza is bad for you? Yes there are people out there who think they deserve it every now and then, but it's still bad for them. There's probably even people who think it's part of a balanced diet, but it's still bad for them! There is nothing wrong with excluding all junk food from one's diet. When it comes to weight loss, it's 85% to do with what you eat, and 15% exercise. That's another reason why so many people think think "I'm exercising so it shouldn't be a problem" and still can't lose weight.

And honestly, what percentage of people who are obese, are that way "despite eating healthy"? And why didn't such people exist 50+ years ago? Follow any fat person down the street until they get thirsty and they will always choose the soda as their drink.

bullpost

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121433764#Comment_121433764

You are an example to us all. A shining light, a beacon of hope in these dark times.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121433905#Comment_121433905

Typical boardsie. Why do you have to be sarcastic? If you disagree with me, or don't like the way I'm expressing myself, then tell me why.

witchgirl26

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121433764#Comment_121433764

Right so you've obviously never dealt with a weight problem on either end of the spectrum then, have you? I was underweight. Yay some might say. Not so much. Even upping calorie intake did nothing to increase my weight on an ongoing basis. It was more complex than more calories equal more weight. So I can completely empathise with anyone who is obese & has to listen to people like you telling them to just eat less calories. Our bodies are complex. It is not a one size fits all fix when it comes to issues with the body. And yes it can be complex - weight can be affected by mental health issues (& I don't mean by them eating too much/not eating just an actual physical side effect), medications for other conditions, other conditions in general. Not all obesity is cause because someone had too many pizzas, burgers or chocolate. And it's not about people making money off it, it's about science.

Ah yes I will trust random person off the internet as opposed to a qualified professional who has studied psychology & nutrition with the appropriate qualifications in them. Food is not inherently bad. It just is. How much we eat of different types has an effect on it but it's not bad. That is just way too simplistic. Deep fat fried pizza may be a bad choice but by labelling the actual food itself as bad we cause a number of other issues with how we view food. If that's the only thing I can get & I'm hungry, it's good. I'm still putting something into my body to fuel it. It might not be ideal but it might be the best option at that point in time. Everything in moderation is not bad for you - in fact that is a more healthy approach than continuously restricting food. I'm not talking about losing weight or exercising. I'm talking about labelling food which is an inanimate object as good or bad.

They did exist years ago. And yes there is more now. But people also didn't live as long 50 years ago as they do now. We didn't have treatments for many conditions as we do now. Poverty was much more prevalent than it is now.

One of the skinniest people I've known in my life drank 2 litres of diet coke a day. I'm now a size 16 & do you know what my favourite drink is? Water. Always has been. And no one in Ireland says "soda".

bullpost

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121434188#Comment_121434188

Apologies - couldnt resist.

It is After Hours (Social/Fun) after all.

I guess the apology now makes me an untypical boardsie 😁

Rubberchikken

I don't see any food as 'bad'. In fact i think that attitude leads to food issues and maybe obesity.

Igor with the 'eat when hungry' when K can. Doesn't alwaya work out because working nights buggers things up a bit but I don't sweat it.

If invited to someone's home I definitely wouldn't go with my 'hands hanging'. I'm definitely not going to spend time wondering whether the house owner has a dislike of biscuits cakes etc.

If offered aomeill certainly eat it. Nothing nicer than a biccie or cake or apple tart with a cuppa.

Electric Gypsy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121434249#Comment_121434249

I have not dealt with a weight issue, but you have to realise that you are in the minority. Wouldn't you have to line up a couple of hundred random people before you'd actually find someone who looked to be unhealthily underweight.

So deep fat fried pizza is a bad choice, as distinct from being bad for you? I'd say it is bad for you, unless you're expecting to starve to death. I'd imagine it contains quite a lot of heterocyclic amines and polycyclic aromatics hydrocarbons and they are bad for you! Junk food, whether in moderation or not, causes unnecessary stress at a molecular level that all adds up in the long run. A soda may contains the same sugar as a fruit, so you could argue that the key ingredient isn't technically bad for you, if consumed in the right way. But what's the worst that could happen with people simply thinking a soda is bad for you?

The advice that you say those dieticians give ties in to people wanting to allow themselves a binge day once a week. A lot of people buy into this idea. I don't think that works, as sooner or later they'll fall off the wagon.

Ireland was a first world country 50 years ago. People mightn't have had the choice we have today, but no one was hungry.

[Deleted User]

You need to look up Professor Donal O'Shea for some accurate information on obesity, which is now classed as a disease.

However, he is Irish. You seem to be using american terms.

witchgirl26

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121439296#Comment_121439296

How am I in the minority? I know plenty of people who are underweight & unhealthy. Skinny does not equal healthy as neither does being larger equal unhealthy automatically. You don't know from looking at a person what is going on inside them (not even talking mentally just literally the physical inside) to determine if they're healthy or not.

Anything that provides a level of nourishment (even with other not great parts to it) is good for your body. It might not be the best choice going but that's ok. And it completely depends on the pizza. Now I'd never actually eat a pizza that was deep fat fried as honestly that doesn't sound very nice but an frozen pizza into the oven is not the devil. In fact if you look at the nutritional information on them, it's fairly ok. On the traffic light system, I think it only has red in 1 area. Different types of cheese can have more red.

Stress at a molecular level? What are you talking about. Food does not cause stress to our body. Certain fats are preferably for our body because they provide more benefits, certain sugars too. Natural sugar is better for you than refined but doesn't mean you should binge out on sugar rich fruit. They'd be a "good" food wouldn't they? Would still be a lot of sugar though. See moderation again.

Having been under the care of a dietician for a medical problem they really don't want people in a binge cycle like that at all. It's about moderation. So you like something sweet at the end of dinner - ok lets look at something that provides that sweetness but maybe provides some other benefits too. And lets limit it to something small as opposed to something big. You want a chocolate, ok that's fine but have 1 and not the whole box. Eat it mindfully & enjoy it rather than just eating it. That's what it's about. "Treat day" mentality is not what any of the ones I've known has proposed as that is a bad habit. In fact there was a study done (I think it was in 2016) where one group was told they could have a biscuit every day with their cup of tea. The other control group was told they could eat as many biscuits as they liked on a Saturday (this was a properly controlled study so same biscuits etc). The results showed that those who ate 1 a day had, as expected, eaten 7 biscuits a week. Those who were allowed on a Saturday ate between 10 & 15. So the ones who had it in moderation ate less & still had a biscuit.

I'd recommend reading this in relation to poverty in Ireland in the 1970s & 1980s. chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.esri.ie/system/files/media/file-uploads/2015-07/WP043.pdf

By the beginning of the 1980s 1 in every 5 households was unemployed. That only got worse as the recession went on. Tell me that unemployment doesn't lead to poverty?