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Child Item

Separation

Tomlad79

Hey all hoping to get some advice myslef and wife split 10 months ago she has started the legal separation we both agreed the date of 25th November 22 as our date we split , but she has lied on her affidavit and changed it to July 22 to suit her, I had to move out of our family home due to harassment and constantly being followed and recorded by her,we both pay the mortgage 50/50 for roughly 100,000 left on the mortgage , she wants the house in her name now , I would like her to buy me out or the or the house sold when the time is right and we split 50/50 she won’t agree , she earns 20,0000 more than me , do you think the judge would agree 50/50 sale thanks

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[Deleted User]

Do you have children? What age?

Tomlad79

16 and 14 , I have no problem with the house being sold when they are finished education , my ex wants the house signed into her name now or the house split 70/30 to her when it’s sold but I’m hoping it’s 50/50

[Deleted User]

The house won't be sold until both are 18 (or 23 in full time education) - judge won't force any sale (including to your ex) until that point.

Tomlad79

I have no problem with that it’s the 70/30 that she is looking for in not happy with

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121192854#Comment_121192854

Not absolute. It might be unusual but it would depend on whether there would be enough to provide a suitable alternative or not.

For example, in this case, both parties might want the house to be sold but the split could be the sticking point. If there would be enough left to provide a suitable house for the children, the judge could well order it be sold and split in a specified manner

The date you split does not have to be the date you moved out. People can be "living apart" while living in the same house.

Tomlad79

We had a argument on the 22 November which cause the marriage to be over we were good up until that argument , we both agreed that was the date we would used for the separation and the date she told revenue but. Or she changed it to 22 July on her affidavit to bring the separation forward

Calahonda52

hang in there, play the long game and agree to nothing,

if she buys you out now say, her net cash flow will be diminished and your maintenance hit will go up and all the capital appreciation on the house will be in her favour.

the car move was clever, won't appear as an asset in her divorce papers and she may well try show the bullet payment as a liability but don't let the happen without the car being listed as an asset

Avoid going to court if you can at all.

Don't get fixated on 50/50, you need to move on and have a life so don't let 50/50 dominate the battle space.

I settled at 60 40 in her favour recently without going to court to get it closed

the 10% of the net proceeds from the house would have gone on a few days in court and 60 40 gave certainty rather than risk it with the judge.

Re the 70 30 split ask, paper never refused ink

Tomlad79

She turned down the medication that we offered her , on her list of means she has a 6,000 car loan coasting 126 euro a week no mention of the 30,000 That it’s worth , definitely going to play the long game and have no problem with the house being sold when the kids finish education, she wants the house signed into her name , maintenance for her and the kids, a lump sum , basically everything

BronsonTB

'She turned down the medication'

Only works if both are agreeable otherwise waste of everyone's time. (Not legally binding either)

Only sign over the house after you get a payment. (And you'll need to check with mortgage bank if they will even entertain taking you off it, banks are nightmare to deal with for anything like this)

Good luck working it all out....long road...

Tomlad79

Thanks and I know it’s only the beginning and she is being hard to work with I’m paying my share of the mortgage and the personal loan we have for work on the house and maintenance, but now she says I can’t call to the house anymore to see or get the kids she is definitely getting nasty

tayto lover

If the house was sold now I believe the split is three ways ie one-third hers, one-third yours and one-third for the kids. Not 100% sure on that though but you could look into it.

Donald Trump

She earns 20k more than you

Offer that you will quit work to become the primary carer and stay in the house to mind the kids up until they are finished education, at which point it can be sold and you can revisit how much maintenance she gives you

Alonzo Mosley

TomLad, the only bit of advice I can give you is aim for 50/50 and nothing less. I was in a similar position 12 years ago and my head was a mess. I didn't want any cut of the house , my head was so messed up. My solicitor said no - go for 50%. If your house is worth €500 doing 60/40 or 70/30 is loosing out on thousands.

The judge awarded me 50% , no questions asked. We both had similar salaries.

As it turns out I have I remarried and divorced again. I am starting fresh again and I can tell you the 50% equity will allow me to start again.

The moral of the story is you never know what your circumstances will be in the coming years so don't sell yourself short, it's your house - 50%.

Tomlad79

Thanks for the reply

CatLick

It's in her interests to threaten you and try to dissuade you from taking things to court. Unfortunately when that happens it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and you ll have to go to court... 50/50 is the best starting point.

holliehobbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121193332#Comment_121193332

That’s totally wrong tayto! Children in Ireland can’t even own property for a start.

holliehobbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121192893#Comment_121192893

There is also the option of the wife buying the husband out so the house doesn’t have to be sold at all!

holliehobbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121192854#Comment_121192854

That’s wrong to lahinch! I know someone selling a house now and the children are still in primary school!

Dial Hard

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121194900#Comment_121194900

That's by agreement, I would imagine.

FishOnABike

Depending on how long it takes the judicial separation to get to a full hearing it might be worth making your own application for divorce in July '24 if the judicial separation isn't finalised by then.

Get legal advice, but I don't see any point in going through a judicial separation and then a separate second set of court proceedings for divorce before things are finalised (in so far as they can be in family law).

Ginger83

Why would you sign the house over to her?

You are paying your half. Don't be walked on.

XsApollo

Your lucky your kids are that age, you won’t have long to wait until you are totally rid of her.

also don’t agree or sign that ye separated on the date she specified. If ye end up in court she will need evidence to that fact unless you agree and she will be lying in court also. Also your kids will be older again by the time ye can apply for a divorce which will benefit you also.

don’t sign over the house to her either, on what grounds does she think that should happen.

maintenance for her? On what grounds is that based on?

Maintenance for your kids? She is presuming she will be primary carer?

getting joint custody for yourself you might not have to pay any maintenance for the kids.

with her attitude you will more than likely end up in court and to be honest ,

the fact your kids are that age, and she earns more money than you , if she went in to court with that list of demands she might get a rude awakening.

don’t agree nothing, sounds like are both in good places financially? Kids are not very young , so 50/50 on everything might very well be achievable.

FishOnABike

If you have a suitable home for them, there's no reason why your children shouldn't live with you, with you as their primary carer. Your 16 year old is old enough to decide for themselves. What do your children want, where would they be happiest?

Tomlad79

Between renting and paying half the mortgage and half a big loan we have when we did work on the house and paying maintenance I’m barely getting by, drives me mad that she would go get finance on a 30,000 merc only a few months ago and now she wants to ruin me with what wants off me

FishOnABike

Two households cost more to run than one so everybody will have to adjust to reduced circumstances. She may yet end up being ordered to downsize her car to something more cost effective.

[Deleted User]

One thing a judge can't do is order the bank to remove your name from the mortgage - does your ex earn enough to take out a new mortgage big enough to pay off the existing mortgage plus enough to buy you out of your share?

That's the only way she will get the house fully in her name now, and the Bank have to agree to take your name off it.

I agree, her earning more than you, she might get a rude awakening in Court.

Keep in mind, as the lower earner, you can also apply for spousal maintenance from her!

holliehobbie

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121195447#Comment_121195447

Spousal maintenance isn’t really a thing in Ireland anymore! Otherwise my ex would have applied for it!

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121194900#Comment_121194900

Forced?

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121195574#Comment_121195574

Yes, I know.

But he can make sure she is aware that as the higher earner of the two, it's more likely she'd be ordered to pay spousal maintenance to him instead of the other way around! Especially if they share custody 50:50.

[Deleted User]

How many years is left on the mortgage?