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Child Item

Are Adult males being victimised in these days?

Relax brah

We have seen some awful news stories of violence/murder towards women in recent years on our beautiful island that NO ONE can stand over, excuse or justify (by any means.)

In the last 12 to 18 months I myself (as a male) am becoming increasingly uncomfortable walking through my local park. Daily (it used to be twice daily) - I go for a walk before work around my local park. I listen to a podcast, sometimes call some friends and clear my head before the day ahead.

I am always friendly, I never stop and talk to people unless I know them but I will always make the effort to smile and say “good morning” at the very least. These days however, I’ve noticed that women look the other way or just ignore me - men are absolutely pleasant and fine with it. This is a well known public park, that is only ever bright when I walk with a really strong community feel (or at least it used to.)

I have felt it has become rather demeaning.

Has anyone else noticed this?

DISCLAIMER: I am not trying to cause any conflict here. I want a healthy debate and nothing more, as this is genuinely is hurting me. Mods please delete if you feel inappropriate

Thanks

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maninasia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120312366#Comment_120312366

Believe me when nobody does it all most folks will miss it .

That said it's obvious why women need to he more careful.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120315440#Comment_120315440

How would someone miss something they never welcomed in the first place? Rather than assume they’d miss something they never welcomed in the first place, relief would be the obvious response if they no longer experienced it. The OP has quite the opposite issue for example - once women used reciprocate his salutations, they don’t any more, and it’s quite clear he misses it.

Doesn’t mean he or any other man a victim though, still doesn’t make men victims even if some people think it’s obvious why women have to be more careful. It’s not obvious at all why women have to be more careful when they’re far more likely to be victimised by men who are known to them rather than strangers.

It’s why contrary to some people’s beliefs, women aren’t paranoid about their safety when they’re out and about. They don’t need to be, because they’re not afraid of men, they just don’t have time to be bothered with being all demure and dainty and reciprocating men’s salutations, like some men expect of women because they’re used to it, and they can’t cope with women not responding positively to them.

joseywhales

If you give your greeting freely you should expect nothing in return, don't worry about it.

Relax brah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120314144#Comment_120314144

When did I say I try to “engage the same women everyday,” hence making me creepy?

You feminists simply decide to twist words as the context doesn’t fit with your dialogue and you criticise my view as a “victim?”

Justify this:

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11818539/31-year-old-woman-pregnant-13-year-olds-baby-wont-jail.html

Billy Mays

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120315460#Comment_120315460

Pawwed Rig

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120315460#Comment_120315460

Why would anyone justify this?

What has this for to do with your walk in the park?

Princess Calla

I suspect the OP didn't get the women bashing responses he wanted.

How dare women not speak to him when spoken too. The absolute cheek of them!!

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120315460#Comment_120315460

When did you say you didn't? You go there every day, presumably at roughly the same time. That strongly implies that a fairly large percentage of the people you see are the same people you see most days. That is certainly how it works when I've done the same thing. You don't say anything about only greeting people that seem comfortable with it. You just say that you always make the effort to smile and say "good morning" at least. Always means every time.

Even if you do in fact make a point of not greeting people that look uncomfortable with it, even though you didn't mention that in your initial post, that still doesn't make you a victim. I get it. Women used to greet you back, and they don't anymore. It feels like you lost something, and you want to blame someone for it. But you aren't a victim. No matter how much you want to pretend that you are, you still aren't. You have no reasonable expectation of anything from them. They don't owe you anything.

squidgainz

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120314655#Comment_120314655

Ah he's just off the wall lol

Annasopra

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120315460#Comment_120315460

Women not saying hello doesnt make you a victim

Ten of Swords

@Augme do not post in this thread again

Everyone else, discuss the topic of the thread - not personal remarks about the op please

Relax brah

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120316442#Comment_120316442

Can you respond to my PM please? Thanks

Quitelife

We are much less friendly as a nation and we are losing the friendliness we used have , one time ie 50 years ago 90% of people would say hello to people their were passing in their home town - local street now its much less. People are too busy on their phones or headphones to say a few words to their neighbour. Many younger people are of the ME , ME ,ME mindset & fcuk everyone else .

We're probably still better than a share of countiries but a lot less friendly than years ago.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120314246#Comment_120314246

@Relax brah - there is definitely a discussion to be had about demonisation of men in the west, but this is certainly not the way to go about it. That's a BIG leap.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120316917#Comment_120316917

It’d probably be a fairly short conversation in any case given that the demonisation of men has always pretty much been limited to courses delivered in academic institutions and opinion piece lifestyle and culture column journalism, than actually being a widespread phenomenon in Western society.

Jequ0n

What a train wreck of a thread. I think it had been pretty clear what the OP was trying to convey and discuss, before it got immediately derailed and turned nasty. Pity

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318319#Comment_120318319

I'd certainly agree that it is been quite clear exactly what the OP was trying to convey from the start.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318409#Comment_120318409

That’s the thing though, the opening post was based upon the OP’s own perspective, and they asked had anyone else noticed the same thing they were experiencing. Anyone can only answer the question from their own perspective, but as far as I’m concerned the opening post was based upon a few faulty premises. Throwing in the article about a woman convicted of sexual assault of a child didn’t seem like any attempt to get the thread back on-topic, it appeared to be an attempt at a sort of ‘gotcha!’, to falsely equate two completely different things, or the idea that women should be demonised too, because men are demonised.

The problem with that argument is that it’s simply not true that men are demonised in the first place. One would have to ignore the mountains of evidence which contradicts their narrative in order to maintain such a belief.

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318269#Comment_120318269

With very few exceptions no one is demonising men. They're just pointing out that toxic masculinity is bad for everyone.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318489#Comment_120318489

To be honest I don’t care whether anyone is or isn’t demonising men, it’s like you suggest - their numbers are vanishingly small anyway, so it would make no sense to claim they have an influence in society which they very clearly do not have given there’s so few of them and given their influence is as limited as it is.

They could go on about ‘toxic masculinity’ for decades (and they have), and still most people just wouldn’t care or take any notice of them either, because most people don’t share their ideological beliefs of the society in which they live. Most people aren’t interested in anyone attempting to demonise other groups of people in society. It just comes off as bitter and resentful.

archermoo

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318531#Comment_120318531

Pointing out how bad toxic masculinity is for everyone isn't demonising men. Men are hurt by it too. Fortunately more and more people are realising that men don't have to be toxic to be masculine.

jackboy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318489#Comment_120318489

Toxic masculinity is not a real thing. There are good men and bad men, same as women. The term toxic masculinity is used as an attack on men.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318409#Comment_120318409

I find the term “victimised” ridiculous in itself (since I went out with someone who used it excessively to point out her perpetual victimhood of everything).

The way I read it the OP was expressing frustration at the way basic every day interactions are now being viewed with suspicion. Some factors for it could have been discussed on thread but it was immediately high jacked by people trying to ridicule the discussion.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318546#Comment_120318546

I know it’s not demonising men, it’s just a silly concept in the first place that has no value to anyone who doesn’t subscribe to that view.

Frankly I dunno why the feminist movement is held responsible for perpetuating the notion when it was originally conceived by a small men’s movement back in the 80’s -

The term toxic masculinity originated in the mythopoetic men's movement of the 1980s and 1990s. It later found wide use in both academic and popular writing. Popular and media discussions in the 2010s have used the term to refer to traditional and stereotypical norms of masculinity and manhood. According to the sociologist Michael Flood, these include "expectations that boys and men must be active, aggressive, tough, daring, and dominant".

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toxic_masculinity

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318593#Comment_120318593

I don’t think anyone was trying to ridicule the discussion, that implies it was ever a serious discussion to begin with.

Surely by the standard you’re suggesting, the opening post is a loaded question based upon viewing people who don’t want to interact with them, with suspicion, as though those people who don’t want to interact with them are the problem! It’s basically externalisation, which is where the idea of portraying themselves as a victim comes from.

Does that extend to all men? Of course not, because most men don’t feel like they are being demonised, thereby they don’t claim to be victimised either. You’d have to ignore the reality of people coupling up every day and night of the week, let alone the vast numbers of people in relationships and people with families and friends, in order to promote this idea that people have become more unfriendly, let alone try to limit the argument by suggesting 95% of people who are noticeably unfriendly are women.

[Deleted User]

Yes. Alot of men are being encouraged to victimize themselves over slights these days.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318489#Comment_120318489

Toxic masculinity. I'd love a definition of that.

gameoverdude

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318725#Comment_120318725

Explain please. I'm male and don't feel victimised.

Ubbquittious

I will continue saying hello to randomers while on walks no matter how bad the stories in the news get. If any of the randomers feel uncomfortable by that they are the problem not me.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/120318793#Comment_120318793

The op is specifically stating women..not 'randomers' tho.