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Only 40, Feel 60

LampyLou

Hi all

I’m a regular poster here but this is my throwaway account as I wanted to post anonymously 😄.

So, as the title suggests, I’m 40 but feel older physically. I am finding that my legs just feel stiff if I sit down for a while; I can’t go on my hunkers without it hurting me and I struggle getting up off the ground - I look like a struggling hippo trying to get up! I have about 4 stone extra weight on me (3 kids later) and am not very physically active at all. I used to run a bit but could probably only manage about 100m now!

Basically, yes I’m 40, but I’m only 40 - I’ve a good few years left in me (hopefully) and if I’m feeling like this now, I dread what I’ll be like in 10/20 years! So I’m looking for a bit of advice exercise wise - is walking best for the way I’m feeling, or something like Pilates to stretch out my legs? Also, would anyone recommend any extra supplements to take for my joints etc? Eating wise I’m not the worst (partial to a aul cookie or two!) but any advice there would be great too!

I just want to get a bit more active and be able to run around with the kids. I went for blood tests recently and all is fine, which is great. Cholesterol was 5.5, but doc was happy with that. I’ve no major health issues in my family thank goodness, just want a bit more energy etc.

any advice welcome.

LampyLou

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listermint

You want more energy you have to change the fuel. If your 4 stone over your putting in the wrong stuff. (bad fuel)

Consider how your petrol car would work if it had a mix of petrol and diesel thrown into it. It would splutter kick and generally perform crap until it just throws the hands up.

You need first to evaluate what you are eating and when and why. And that battle is large but also achievable.

Good choices are key.

sporina

whats your BMI? if over 25, not good.. have you talked to your GP about this? for your health and energy = better to have a good BMI.. could you join slimming world? or something similar? weight watchers? get an exercise program on the go? i'm sure you know yourself.. eat better and move more.. get the weight down = more energy..

[Deleted User]

I taught Pilates for 10 years. I would advise you to lose weight first. Pilates won't help weight loss and is pretty difficult to do if carrying 4 stone extra. If you lose weight through proper diet and aerobic exercise like fast walking you will feel a lot better. Your energy levels will soar if you lose weight too. After that you could consider Yoga or Pilates for strength, core, flexibility and good body tone/posture.

YellowLead

Pretty sure there are diet / exercise / fitness threads where there are good discussions on this kind of thing - might be more suitable a place to post

[Deleted User]

If you can afford it, it's worth looking into getting a personal trainer, even if it's just one session a week for a couple of months. It might help get you into the habit to exercise and healthier eating.

There are plenty of female trainers as well as male, so whatever you feel comfortable with.

LampyLou

Thanks so for the replies so far. Just felt like I didn’t know where to start. With the comment about the other threads it might suit better to - I had looked before posting this but I didn’t think they’d give me general advice like this, they were too specific.

interesting about the Pilates comment too - appreciate that.

samo

Just to say, totally understand this, I’m 44 and Covid did not help matters being static at home.

I’ve lost around 30 lbs since turn of the year: combination of Noom for diet part which helped with better food habits and then walking, currently on a 13k step average and 30 day streak but I really need to watch it and actively make these key parts of my day and non negotiable - my iron was also very low at turn of the year which wasn’t helping, so taking iron supplements and Joint care with collagen, B complex and feel a big difference overall with energy levels and even hair, nails, skin etc

Good luck with it, completely understand how you feel and it’s tougher into 40s but do-able!

rtron

First thing about the stiff legs, a few basic stretches would help.

Right now if you stand feet hip width apart, reach up and bend from the hips reaching your arms to the floor but only going as far as your body allows. Bend your knees if you need to.

Hold the pose letting gravity do the work for 20-30 seconds (longer if you can), you'll feel the stretch some where in the back of your leg (hamstring) don't over reach or get sore. Rest and repeat again.

See how your legs feel then.

Once I found a decent 10 minute beginners stretching video on YouTube. At the age of 40 I felt like I was 32 after it. Can't recommend stretching and yoga enough.

Caranica

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119171870#Comment_119171870

BMI has been discredited as a method of analysis. As for those weight loss clubs, they can cause problems themselves.

I'd recommend downloading myfitnesspal and using it to track diet and exercise. Simple changes like walking places instead of driving can help to start losing weight. Throw on a podcast about mindfulness or motivation, these will help you to get your head into a better place Couch to 5k costs a few Euro but really works in terms of building up stamina and mobility.

[Deleted User]

Firstly OP, fair play, 3 kids is no joke. be kind to yourself and to what you can expect from your body.

In all these things i think the key is to build in extra exercise into your daily routine. Can you cycle or scoot with the kids to their creche/school for example, or cycle to the shops/a friend's/the park etc. It doesn't have to anything extreme, just do simple stuff like no more car journeys if the destination is circa 2k away (i know from having young kids, this isn't always remotely feasible, but when it is, try to choose the option that allows you exercise).

Tork

Definitely look into losing weight before you try anything else. 4 stone is approximately 25kg. That's the equivalent of lugging 5x5kg bags of potatoes around with you everywhere. If you think about it like that, no wonder your joints are creaking and you're tired. If you have a desk bound job or sit a lot, that won't help your legs either. Getting up more often to walk, and doing some stretches will help. But really, it's time to do something about shifting that weight. That's not something easy to do on your own if you've fallen into bad habits so look into something that'll educate you about portion sizes, give you meal ideas and have you stand on a scales every week.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172087#Comment_119172087

Very much agree with this. Lots of studies support that being overweight is not synonymous to being unhealthy. And weight loss plans can sometimes lead to disordered eating or the weight coming back on plus some once you stop.

As someone who became bed ridden after an accident and subsequent health issues/chronic pain,i recommend going for frequent walks. It costs nothing and a 30/40 minute walk is over before you know it. If you can't find the motivation, then perhaps you could join a gym to get you to move more. Also, eating as much nutritious foods, fruits, veg, wholemeal bread etc where you can may help with giving you more energy. I also take a multi vitamin with iron to help with immune system and energy. Great you got your bloods checked, I wonder if you got your thyroid checked.

shesty

I am also just about 40, with 3 kids.☺️

I could lose maybe 2 stone.I lost a stone last year (and put a good half of it back on!) Through pushing myself out for a fast 30min walk at least 4 days of the week, and using the Fitnesspal app.Food is my downfall, in that I eat well but (as I am sure you know), I tend to look for sugar like a biscuit with a cup of tea, more sugar at 3pm for the mid afternoon snack, biscuits when the kids were in bed, that stuff.I had to be really strict with myself.I have changed to 85% dark chocolate a number of years ago, as a pick me up.Helps a lot because one or two squares is plenty.I put on a lot of weight through lockdowns because I baked as some form of therapy to cope - and then I ate it.🙈🙈

Now I try to walk 3-4 days a week, and I swim weekly, fairly intense swimming.I did yoga online in 2021 in the worst of the winter lockdowns because I was so stiff.It definitely helped flexibility.I have knee problems so running is not a great option here.

I'd suggest you go invest in good runners like Asics and start walking now, as a start point.Several days a week at a good speed, to start with and with a friend even better.Not with kids for now because tbh you can't keep the pace going if you do.Maybe once you try that you can look around at other options available.As you say, you have years ahead of you and I have a "use it or lose it" policy when it comes to my body because it's true in the long run - have to use the muscles and keep the blood flowing.I know how hard it can be with the kids though so just do the best you can to start.

[Deleted User]

Another early 40s person here (male) and I have known the feeling you're describing. What others have said about food is correct. I would also say that you simply must exercise every single day, not to become some sort of MILF, but to keep everything working well into middle and old age - arms, legs, back etc. Exercise is as important as drinking water - it's not optional. I do not run, and never have, but I spend at least 45 minutes walking on the treadmill everyday. I also lift moderate weights 3-4 times per week. Each weights session lasts no more than 25 minutes, but done properly, it'll keep your body in decent order.

I would also strongly advise you to invest in an apple watch. It monitors your heart rate, can perform an ECG and most importantly strongly motivates you to reach certain daily goals that you set for yourself. It's a fantastic tool that has dramatically improved my commitment to leading a physically active life every day.

Lastly, go to an endocrinologist and get your hormone levels checked. For men at least, testosterone levels can drop off significantly and lead to feelings of lethargy, irritability, and weakness. There may be a female equivalent; I don't know, but I would get it checked out, along with your bone density.

manonboard

OP, is there any sport or activity that you are particulary drawn to?

Getting fit is great, and i find doing it as part of a sport to be immensely more successful. Some people like lifting weights, or walking.. I like rock climbing so i lift weights and train for that. It gives me a goal that constantly provides me with fun and socialising.

To me, the social aspect of fitness is key. So if you are drawn to any sports or ideas of activities, i suggest going to do them. Losing weight and getting fit becomes a life style rather than just an activity. Its hard to be overweight when you cant wait to get back out and meet your friends doing your fun activities. If anything, getting enough proteins and calories can be a chore!

I once engaged in rowing (like a boat) and found the kayak clubs to be amazing. Great people and the level of upper body fitness it gave me was amazing. Once you start feeling strong, the urge to go further keeps us motiviated. 2 hours passes pretty fast on a lake.

For leg fitness, some basic weights, squats and stretching is all that is needed. The more movement you keep in your life, the more it all starts to maintain itself with alot less effort. The start is definitely the hardest part because everything feels like stiff painful cardboard. Go slow, but make sure you have alot of fun doing it so its something joyful you add to your life.

Swimming is another highly useful sport. Super good to the joints, and super calorie burning. Amazing muscle tone all over and brilliant for movement.

sporina

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172087#Comment_119172087

eh, no it hasn't! I work in healthcare!! Like, all things, its not used on its own as a measurement of health.. but its one of the most important criteria when it comes to those who are over wt,... and then looked at with all the other factors eg: BP, Blood sugar levels, Cholesterol, Heart Rate, Lean muscle Vs fat mass, hip to waist ratio.. etc..

Some weight loss clubs are v successful when conducted appropriately..

In any event - your 1st port of call should be your GP.. talk to them about your concerns..

RojaStar

Walking and calorie control are your best bet to get started OP, before you bother with any more strenuous exercise or joining a gym etc. Weight loss is 80% about what you are eating so you could lose weight by doing that alone. Then try to get into a routine of getting out for at least a 30 min walk every day, working up to 60 mins and do it every day. This would make a massive difference in shifting a good few pounds. When you have less weight to lose that's when you can start ramping it up with more exercise, gym etc.

You can find calorie calculators from a quick google where you input your weight, height, activity level etc to work out how many calories you should be aiming for every day to lose weight. You need to be burning more than you're consuming. With running around after 3 kids and just generally keeping your body functioning you are probably already burning quite a lot. I would say you are massively underestimating how much you are consuming. MyFitnessPal is a great way of getting real with yourself here. Track EVERYTHING. All those little cookies and bits & bobs here and there add up. You can input your daily calorie goal and you'll see pretty quickly where things are going off track. Focus on whole foods as much as possible, limit anything processed. Limit unrefined carbs like white bread, crackers etc.

Best of luck - you've got this!

rolling boh

Loads of threads about this from personal experience critique exactly what you are eating and cut down and out the rubbish snacks etc and start adding better food choices across the board . Find something active to do even walking at the start and get fitter it does not take that long .Once you get the habit of better food choices and exercise you will drop weight over a few weeks . It's a change of lifestyle you need and very doable with steady improvements not too drastic all at once so that you will stay the course .

ericfartman

Eat clean, smaller portions and walk an hour a day. Its not rocket science.

Don't go on one of the fad diets.

[Deleted User]

Don't go on a diet and don't track your calories.. It will lead you down a road where your metabolism slows to a crawl.

Instead find an activity you love.

I am overweight (dgaf) and I cycle, swim and walk and I'm taking up roller skating! I do yoga for bigger bodies as well in my living room with YouTube videos and I love it. This helps very much with feeling good in your body.

Ignore advice that says lose weight first. If weight loss attempts fail, you can end up putting your life on hold. And for what? To be smaller?!

See about what you can add into your life, not what you can take out. Start slow and small, with one or two changes. I suggest doing beginners yoga on YouTube and deciding to have a very colourful lunch as a starting point. Try to enjoy everything you do. You'll be feeling better in no time!

[Deleted User]

Oh and look up intuitive eating. :)

Fred Astaire

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182832#Comment_119182832

If she's 4 stone overweight I wouldn't be worried about a slowing metabolism just yet. What utter, utter, utter rubbish. Metabolic adaptation takes a significant amount of time to occur and is easily reversable. If the OP was dieting for an extended period and saw signs of metabolic adaptation, then she could simply revert to eating at maintenance for a number of weeks, before resuming the deficit.

Tracking calories is the only way to be precise about the amount of calories you are consuming. Being in a caloric deficit is the only way to lose weight.

The OP is in constant pain, can barely run and is very clear that she is suffering significantly from her weight, her lack of mobility, her lack of flexibility and her lack of cardio vascular endurance. She literally struggles to get off the ground and to bend over. At 40. I know people in their 50's that completed the Cork Marathon with great times on Sunday.

She is at significantly higher risk for a whole host of health issues that could wreck havoc on her life, more so than is already occuring. This fawx positivity routine is best consigned to the bin where it belongs.

OP, start your fitness journey by walking - it is low stress, low intensity and will slowly allow you to improve your cardiovascular endurance. Sort your diet out too, having a few extra biscuits a day is not worth what you are currently going through.

listermint

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119182832#Comment_119182832

You simply have to start eating better first before you launch into exercise. That doesn't mean a diet or a fad. It means making good food choices and sticking to them . Do that for two weeks and you'll feel good energy. Then you can start into a daily walk. Continue doing this and you'll notice the difference after the first four weeks.

Irish_rat

In terms of eating its not how many calories you take in, its more of the quality of food you eat. Replace those nasty sugary foods with fruits like mango, kiwi etc. Also consider using nuts for snacking. I still would eat as well as you do and just begin to exercise.

Even if the weather is poor, try just getting your 10k steps around the house each day. If there is no treadmill just walk around from one end to the other. It just takes a bit of dedication.

Galwayguy35

Sometimes I see people with weight issues nearly gassing themselves out trying to run or jog, its easy to fall into the trap of doing too much too soon rather than starting off with a 20 min walk and gradually increasing it as the weeks go by.

Fruit and lots of water is also good to keep the hunger pangs away between meals.

[Deleted User]

All anyone's interested in is weight. It's absolutely pointless and counterproductive. 95% of people are unable to sustain a calorie deficit for the rest of their lives. The body protests and protests and protests. Instead you can introduce health promoting behaviours which produce clear physical and mental health changes.

As soon as anyone says, stop focusing on body appearance and start focusing on body experience, everyone loses their sh1t. How dare a fat person be happy, healthy and physically active.

Your body can be used and enjoyed now just as it is, OP. Ask yourself what you can add into your life and don't indulge this absolutely pointless mindset of "when I lose weight I will..."

Just do it now. Cycle, swim, run, whatever right now. Don't wait for a magic number on the scale.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119185656#Comment_119185656

Sorry Fred, you're wrong about the metabolism. Repeated dieting and weight cycling slows the metabolism. Nutrient dense food and regular movement keeps the fire burning.

Try reading some studies on the physical effects of weight cycling (which is what happens in 95% of cases of beginning dieting).

LampyLou

Thank you so much for all the replies. I really appreciate all the advice and the stories from people who have been there before. It helps to know I can defo help myself. Some really interesting points brought up by some people.

Fred Astaire

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119187744#Comment_119187744

I'm not.

Fred Astaire

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119187737#Comment_119187737

You don't have to sustain a caloric deficit for the rest of your life. 100% percent of people would be unable to sustain that, because absolutely nobody in the entire world is advocating anybody do that. Once you get into a healthy weight range, you return to maintenance. The body doesn't 'protest', the body cannot protest a person expending more energy than they take in. After significant time in a caloric deficit the body may very briefly make adjustments to compensate - but these are very easily and quickly undone. We are talking a period of many months before this happens.

It is inherently unhealthy to be fat. The OP's fat is negatively affecting their life. Your 'be happy' spiel is absolute vomit inducing nonsense - the OP literally cannot move properly, at 40. This should absolutely not be the case.

Being overweight dramatically increases your liklihood of gall stones, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, osteoarthritis, stroke. Being obese even more so. Here is a copy of a study showing that being overweight can knock up to 8 years off your life. https://www.thelancet.com/journals/landia/article/PIIS2213-8587(14)70229-3/fulltext

You've run off on a self projection tangent, based on how you would like life to be. You tell OP their body can be used and enjoyed now, just as it is, when they have outlined the daily struggles they have with simple movement because of their weight. They need to drop weight to improve their quality of life and overall health prospects. Your happy-clappy hippy science is not reality and is actually dangerous to tell people.

Just be happy, and ignore all the proven negative consequences of being overweight and obese, including the ones you are literally currently experiencing!