nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Men No Longer Want to Date, Why?

carmel1992

Hello,

I am 27 and I would be interested in knowing why men don’t go into relationships as readily anymore or marry as often as they once did.

I'm told that Irish society has become anti-male and men are avoiding marriage and fatherhood at alarming rates but I think it's more to do with the institutional bias and blatant sexism of laws and practices that have become the norm against men. The numerous reasons are a court system stacked against men in regards to paternity/wider justice issues, a school system which is stacked against men and boys, a hostile work environment to men in many workplaces.

I don't disagree that relationships have their ups and downs but it may help to understand more about what the typical men are going through in this country and why they don’t actually feel and think as much about relationships.

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174757#Comment_119174757

I was hoping you'd engage with the suggestion that equal parental leave is a men's rights issue which is worth pursuing. Never mind.

Dvaey

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172342#Comment_119172342

I am late 30s.

[Deleted User]

And I answered it, and why. No men cannot take maternity leave in Ireland.

I can't speak for the UK where you are.

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174558#Comment_119174558

Sure. And the question I asked was:

Is maternity leave and maternity benefit unpaid? Can men choose to take the time as primary carer and get the benefit?

The 2 weks mandatory leave is just for the mother to recover. The next 26 weeks paid leave are only available to the mother. No choice for families to decide how to divide the time. That's primarily a men's rights issue as men would win the right to take paid parental leave, but the family is the beneficiary because the family gets to decide how to work.

Andrewf20

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172085#Comment_119172085

I didnt say it was the same thing but from looking at couples around me, getting a property is easier in pairs which is probably the biggest expense anyone will ever have.

Easier also if you do want kids to do it in pairs. Creche fees are a disaster but if you can survive those few years, it should be much easier after that.

The problem is there is no easy alternative. And its not just an Ireland issue, the cost of living crisis is prevalent across alot of the western world.

Eitherway, staying single or getting married is going to involve some long term hard work.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174488#Comment_119174488

The question was not asked about maternity leave, it was asked about parental leave which is totally separate from maternity, paternity, and parents leave in Ireland.

Maternity leave is not just for the purpose of taking care of a baby. Its also to recover from the physical affects of 9 months of pregnancy, labour and delivery, and then breastfeeding (if preferred) and what all that does to a woman's body. So no, men, do not get granted maternity leave or benefit in Ireland.

Housefree

Lol it's easier for a successful never married, fit good looking guy in his mid 40's to get on in the dating game than anything else.

He's been around the block, he's settling down in himself and ready to chill out more. He'd make a better dad as he's not driven by his sex drive anymore or seeking thrill's and fast love, he's burnt out from that. There's a reason why a lot of women like older guys. They're mature, able to understand when a woman's tired, a bit off maybe snappy. Unintentionally snappy, only burnt out with a headache or over worked and stimulated by the harsh realities of life.

So this fictional character, the successful, single, fit (66% of Irish men are overweight) over 40 year old. Who has dated a lot of women (been around the block) is going to risk all his assets (no prenup in Ireland) to settle for a woman that's: tired, snappy,burnt out, over worked and suffers from headaches caused by the harsh realities of HER life...

Yeah right, keep on dreaming!

El_Duderino 09

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174038#Comment_119174038

Is maternity leave and maternity bebefit unpaid? Can men choose to take the time as primary carer and get the benefit?

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174327#Comment_119174327

Spot on.

TBH the best period of my life was from the mid 30s onwards. I know, understand, sympathise, etc without being manipulated in return. I know my own value, and I'm not begging for attention. It's the perfect period, especially since I know that most casual sex is incredibly unremarkable/unmemorable except when it's really bad. There's more important things in life.

[Deleted User]

Too much drama. Simple. I'm out of a long term relationship in my early l40s and have absolutely no intention of ever being in another one

Tony EH

LOL

These type of threads really bring them out don't they.

Fkn ell

Donald Trump

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173598#Comment_119173598

This vulnerable/desperate/naive/innocent is just waffle 95% of the time.

The girl knows full well what she is deciding to do and whom she is deciding to do it with and the actual intentions of the other person. There is nothing wrong with it if that is what she wants to do, but there is no point in her getting what she wants, and him getting what he wants, and then her pretending that there was ever going to be more.

What might happen could be something along the lines of self-delusion of "sure I know what he's after but given that I am special, he will surely change his mind for me".

bad2thebone

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119174138#Comment_119174138

Lol it's easier for a successful never married, fit good looking guy in his mid 40's to get on in the dating game than anything else.

The mature man will suggest that he'll take the kids out for the day and she can chill out or meet her friends, have her own day.

The modern day control freak guy's would only be asking her what's wrong now, have I done something wrong. He'd make her worse, and she'd feel trapped and lacking control of her own life.

Being a real man is being supportive and understanding, give each other space. A woman would love a guy more if he's helpful rather than cumbersome. Let her have space where she can get breathing space. And if you need a days fishing or golfing she's not going to stop you.

Team work rather than playing games against each other.

No relationship is perfect, as it takes a long time to build trust and get to know someone. It's not easy, but a man who is responsible and able to share the burdens will attract a better partner rather than end up with a brat who's constantly hen pecking him and being avoidant.

The best relationships I've observed are where there's a gap between the ages and the man is mature and a real man, with old fashioned family values.

A liberal or woke guy will more than likely be trolling Grindr with married on his profile while his other half is oblivious to him and his two phones. He'll be saying he's straight married and curious. Trying to hook up with trans and guys. My friend is on Grindr as a quite attractive transexual and she's inundated with request from married and attached guys. She's sickened by these creeps cheating on their other halfs.

bad2thebone

Long-term relationships or marriage and family is optional nowadays. In order to be in a happy relationship it is better to be happy and secure in yourself rather than be seeking validation by being with someone who absolutely hates your guts and makes your life a misery.

I've been a good father figure to my son, he's in his 20's and he was lead by example of not falling into the trap that so many young people fall into. Back in my day the idea of a date was to meet outside say Brown Thomas or Hmv on Patrick's Street at a certain time. Then go from there. Go bowling or playing pool or something, few drinks after and head to a club if it's a Friday or Saturday night.

That was fun, and a great way to get to know someone. An activity rather than sitting there with nothing only shoite talk.

yourdeadwright

To be fair I'm not sure what age men your on about , I'd imagine younger men still want to date ,

But if your in your 30's on & have already had kids i wouldn't be arsed dating, I'd be looking for a bit of fun here & there and that's it,

I suppose some men are happy out & enjoy the freedoms of making choices not based on anyone else's needs,

The statement at top of the thread , is just to wide to be true in any real sense

therapist3

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172993#Comment_119172993

Well yes it does when you're giving it away with no respect for yourself

JaCrispy

Back to the original question, "Men No Longer Want to Date, Why?"

Most men wouldn't want to date this

Toxic feminazi. Compulsive misandrist. Single woman in her middle ages (There must be a very good reason she's single at that age)

Run for the hills men.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173373#Comment_119173373

Parental leave in Ireland is unpaid, full stop.

Neither parent gets any payment for parental leave.

Housefree

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173625#Comment_119173625

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/people-have-been-having-less-sex-whether-theyre-teenagers-or-40-somethings/

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/2378023121996854

https://www.sciencefocus.com/news/are-we-really-having-less-sex/

https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20170508-the-many-reasons-that-people-are-having-less-sex

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/insight-therapy/202006/why-so-many-young-people-are-having-no-sex

https://www.bmj.com/content/365/bmj.l1961

https://www.rutgers.edu/news/why-are-young-adults-having-less-casual-sex

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10508-021-02125-2

https://www.insidehook.com/daily_brief/sex-and-dating/people-having-less-sex

It's a well documented phenomenon at this stage

LurkerNo1

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119168273#Comment_119168273

The comments on eating and calling you a whippet are just projection of their own discomfort with their own weight, fitness and eating habits. In my own experience as a tall and slim guy when I have dug deep and asked ex partners about why women tend to like like "big" men is they don't want a bigger guy because they feel "protected" they prefer that build because it makes them less conscious about their own size.

Wombatman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173598#Comment_119173598

So don't be vulnerable/desperate/naive/innocent. These people have been taken advantage of since the dawn of time.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173598#Comment_119173598

Fair play to the few who can be arsed finding and homing in on those few. :P

Ubbquittious

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173625#Comment_119173625

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118421619#Comment_118421619

Wombatman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119172097#Comment_119172097

Calling bullsh1t on this. Any evidence to back it up?

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173554#Comment_119173554

I just think when you want something bad enough on the dating site i.e a relationship, lads will play on that and some will take advantage. But I guess it's like anything when you're vulnerable/desperate/naive/innocent , ppl will take advantage

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173505#Comment_119173505

Maybe so but the effort it would take for that would make it a very small minority. If you're a guy who can get what they want on the first date you'll be drawn to others who want that. It's a lot of effort in comparison to "trick" someone into sleeping with them quickly.

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173368#Comment_119173368

It is true, some lads are creeps on it and take advantage of women's desire for an actual relationship, the lad pretends he wants that too and quickly leaves after he gets what he wants

Pissy Missy

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173243#Comment_119173243

That is also true! Some ladies like their validation

gary550

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173243#Comment_119173243

and the other 10% are batshit crazy

Feisar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119173243#Comment_119173243

Have things changed in the past ten years!?!