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Buffet dinner for a wedding

atlastree

Hi. Has anyone here had or been to a wedding in a hotel that had a buffet dinner instead of a formal meal. My partner and I always hate the dinners at weddings and I feel like if we do the same thing as everyone else in that respect we'll be putting ourselves out to make people happy.

Hotels seem to give you very little elbow room with making the day your own and we can't afford to rent out a place like mount druid or Martinstown house where you'd have a bit more freedom.

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Neyite

I'm having a buffet 😳

In fairness I know the venue, and the staff and I know the portions are very generous. Plus it's a very small crowd that will be there. They've also done buffet meals before and got excellent feedback from customers, my own sibling included so I think I'm on safer ground than some! And it's been made very clear to the guests that it's a buffet dinner.

I think that I'll be asking them though to plate it up for people - in terms of hygiene and also portion sizes rather than have people dish up and cross contaminate spoons and all that.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143609#Comment_119143609

RSVP can give people an opportunity NOT to go if they're going to be cnts about the food

xzanti

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143546#Comment_119143546

Yeah, in an ideal world everyone would be just there to celebrate your love for one another regardless of the wedding experience.

But lets be real. I think there's an unspoken feeling of 'contributing to the cost of the meal' when stuffing a wedding envelope.

I don't personally think there's anything "begrudging" about that.

Again, if it's made very clear on the invitation that it's a buffet/BBQ, then there shouldn't be an issue. Each to their own.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143546#Comment_119143546

Like I said rightly or WRONGLY , people will have expectations based on the invite and venue.

The BBQ one had an option of pork only in various formats. When we visit the couple we always get served either pork steak or pulled pork 😋

We were at a fancy wedding in Richard Corrigan's place. The two main course options were fish. Guess the B&G must be big fish fans.

Saying do what ever you want, can be a bit selfish if your expecting people to give up time to be part of your day.

And again and lastly, manage expectations, i.e. match food etc to venue and event promised.

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143399#Comment_119143399

i obviously can't speak for everyone, but you really shouldn't expect a return based on what you put in an envelope, they invited you because they want you there not because they're expecting you to give a trip advisor review

Ash.J.Williams

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058248338/buffet-dinner-for-a-wedding

i was at a wedding that had a buffet bbq and it was one of the best wedding food experiences ever, but the begrudgers will say "no " but you know what people say about them!

My advice is do what you want and f** everyone else!

atlastree

Ok. Definite no on the buffet! I was at a small wedding that had a buffet but there was maybe 20 of us so it wasn't a mad rush to the table. I also can already name the people who'd be like "yeah a bit more there please" leaving very little for everyone else 😆 I never even considered that aspect

Thanks

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143256#Comment_119143256

I think managing expectations is important.

The BBQ one we were at was not forewarned. It was in a 5 star hotel, so we had great expectations. Suited and booted and with a large sum of money in an envelope, we were left very underwhelmed by the 1 star event.

Give me an informal marquee event any day of the week ahead of a stuffy hotel.

But if it's the hotel route, factor in what the guests will expect and limitations age wise etc.

People will probably put €200 plus in envelopes and rightly or wrongly will have certain expectations from a hotel event.

airy fairy

Have been to a close relatives wedding a few years back, a buffet, terrible. Like others said, it was table by table and the last few tables had very little left. It was like a canteen and had nothing classy about it at all. It was like a means to an end to feed people and get it over with. You also need to remember the age of the guests, if they're primarily older, like aunt's, uncle's etc, then they'll be expecting a proper sit down meat and two veg dinner.

If you're on a tight budget, I'd suggest scrapping the idea of a large gathering. Cutting back on things like food is only going to disappoint guests. Like it or not, if you invite a guest, then you are the host, it IS your responsibility to make sure you can give them a good day out, food and entertainment, after all, you'll probably expect a gift from most of them, you surely wouldn't not care, would you?

mrslancaster

One of our relatives had a buffet for theirs. Same experience as other posters, messy slow queues and some tables finished before others even started. We overheard some guests complaining that it was like being in the canteen at work during a busy lunchtime, (except everyone was dressed better). It wasn't great tbh.

Duwek

My brother and his wife had buffet for their wedding. We didn't say anything but we weren't impressed. We were all looking forward to a lovely day out, being wined and dined. It really ruined the buzz having to get into a queue in the high heels holding onto a tray. We were saved first as we were immediate family but when we were finished eating, other tables were still waiting for food and looking very fed up.

atlastree

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143111#Comment_119143111

Oh all the details will be on the invitation. I suppose I just mean pleasing people who think there is only one way to do a wedding.

easygoing39

No.no and no again,a lot of people including myself and family won't even go near a buffet during a normal day,never mind a big event like a wedding.

jackboy

I think the traditional way would be fine if the starters were skipped and people just got their dinner (as much as they would like) straight away. The gowling with bread and starters for ages is annoying when people are hungry and just want a proper feed. People end up filling up on crap bread and drink and by the time the dinner comes out their appetites have been ruined.

CramCycle

Also ours was not done table by table, food was ready, and you could rock up whenever you wanted once it opened. The older crowd ran up out of fear but everyone else trundled up at their leisure, they had enough staff to clear people really quickly. At its largest the queue was 25 deep and took less than 5 minutes to get to the top.

CramCycle

I've been to three buffet style weddings and all were great craic. From above, I have never seen them let people have at it with the mains, sounds like a major faux pait as people always over estimate what they can eat. Two were BBQ style and the chef's handed out what you asked for onto a plate, and then you topped up with salads and whatever else. One in Killiney castle and the other at a rented period house in Wicklow with a marquis. Food was glorious and the weddings were a major success. I don't think it would work as well with a Sunday Carvery style meal but it can be great. The one in the period house had a stylised chipper van rock up at midnight for the late snacks, the other had platters dropped around to each table.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143123#Comment_119143123

When I was talking about awful event above I meant a BBQ event in a hotel. You could see the disappointment on people's faces. Trundling out with a plate, first spit roast(which is visually unappealing for many) gone..long wait for next so didn't bother. Think I ate feck all on the day.

witchgirl26

I was at one where it was a BBQ/spit-roast pig with buffet extra bits. As per the others, we were brought up table by table. It was ok in terms of stuff being available for all tables as they had staff on each part of it helping to dish it out so people weren't taking loads but honestly it was a lot of faff as we all had to go into the dining hall, sit down, wait our turn to go up & by the time the last table was sitting down, the top table was completely finished as were some of the earlier ones. The food was lovely but it wasn't the most enjoyable part of the day.

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143111#Comment_119143111

Yeah I agree with you. You do have to think of your guests who have put themselves out to be there for your day.

touts

Went to one in a hotel in Clonmel a few years ago (won't name the hotel but think horses). It was chaos. Utter complete chaos. They called people up table by table and the early tables loaded up their plates regardless of portion size. So food ran out and the hotel owner got in a strop when he was asked to produce more (apparently the hotel later tried to bill them for 50 extra guests). And the food wasn't that nice to begin with (1980s Sunday lunch). When they brought out the desserts then things went wrong very quickly because there was no way the tables who missed out on decent/any food were going to wait to be called so basically 200 people all descended on the buffet at the same time. Food was dropped on the floor as people walked back from the buffet to their tables and wasn't cleaned up all night. There wasn't enough staff to clear away the plates (you save on not needing staff for serving but then who will collect the plates at the end). So an hour after the music started they were still clearing tables and the place looked like a bomb had hit it. The bride spend the evening going from table to table apologizing to guests. The bride and groom might have saved €5 euro a head but people still complain about that as the worst wedding they were ever at.

atlastree

Ok. So I have heard 1 horror story about a buffet in real life so that confirms that's out. Really helpful to hear your experiences. BBQ sounds like an interesting idea!

xzanti

I'll be berated for saying this but; please don't invite people to a wedding if you're not going to try to "please them".

People will generally go to a lot of effort and expense to attend a wedding. Outfit, hair do, child care, gift etc.

Unless of course you're planning to make it very clear from the offset that you're having an 'alternative' wedding banquet.

I've seen a lot of bad feeling and bitching over the years because of misunderstandings around weddings.

Just my 2 cents.

Also, congratulations.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119143064#Comment_119143064

I was at one of them and it was awful.

In answer to the OP, I think the non traditional version in a hotel is risky and may leave people talking about a poor day out afterwards.

If you are thinking non traditional I think go that route fully with a marquee etc and people know exactly what they are getting and generally better craic.

R0SSM0RE

I was at one before too. It didn't work well. Table by table little options left towards the end and messy for older people with walking sticks etc. If ye want something different try a BBQ or something like that. I was at a wedding before with BBQ and that worked well. Option of pig on spit and burgers/sausages and people just got food when they wanted it. Very casual and it worked better than buffet style in my opinion

Deeec

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058248338/buffet-dinner-for-a-wedding

I was at a wedding that had a buffet - it didn't work well. It was a large enough wedding. We had to go up to the buffet table by table. By the time the last few tables got to go up there was very little food left due to greedy people taking too much.