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Does anyone else notice service workers are disproportiantely rude to them?

completedit

I swear to god I hate these micro interactions. I go out of my way to be respectful, courteous and polite but people who work in these positions seem to be go out of their way to be rude to me. I don't know maybe it is my nervous energy that makes them like this but yeah it is something I have picked up on. Has anyone else experienced this?

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Ficheall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058232782/does-anyone-else-notice-service-workers-are-disproportiantely-rude-to-them

You may find this helpful:

https://www.bustle.com/articles/133066-8-signs-youre-a-toxic-person-because-sometimes-the-problem-in-your-life-is-you

[Deleted User]

It is not the role they wish to be in and they are unhappy and it doesn't matter how polite you are to them. The experience with them is a lottery.

I am getting to the stage where I'd be happier dealing with a well thought out App or Bot than poorly paid, poorly trained, unempowered Customer Services staff. An App is good or bad but a disrespectful or uninterested Customer facing staff member can put you in a funk for the rest of the day.

Companies will figure this out and do everything they can to avoid Customers interacting with Staff who might annoy them.

[Deleted User]

Remember when you started this thread OP? Maybe these NPCs dont like being treated as NPCs

One of the most noticeable differences between me and other people, NPC's as I call them is that I constantly play devil's advocate or go against the grain. I've often wondered is it because for a lot of my life I have absorbed a myriad of opinions and viewpoints on a site like Boards that has caused me to be cynical and analytical in a way most normies just aren't. I feel that the more you use message boards the more you are exposed to differing opinions and viewpoints in a way that most regular people just aren't. I quite like being like this but normies just cannot understand it at all.

[Deleted User]

No offense intended by this OP, but maybe you overdo the politeness?

Would probably do my nut the other side of the counter 😂

[Deleted User]

"Hey, how's it going. A pack of Marlboro Red please."

"20's"

"Yeah, cheers."

Taps

"Would you like a receipt?"

"Nah, you're grand. Cheers, mate."

Hard to see how you can f*ck something like that up, to be honest.

Ficheall

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624559#Comment_118624559

Shite apps can put you in a funk for a lot longer than a day.

growleaves

Shop people aren't rude to me, or if they are I haven't noticed.

Bicyclette

Perhaps I've been very lucky or very protected but I've actually found everyone in retail exceptionally pleasant and kind. A few times in Dunnes I've gone to the manager to specifically complement certain staff members by name, because they have gone out of their way for me.

maestroamado

Call centres seem to have a lost of questions and that's pretty well what determines the conversation... Ryanair booking no NCT car reg they hnad=rdlu say hello... I expect its for efficiency but i do agree with OP it could be done better... If your question is not on the list they cannot deal with it...

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624560#Comment_118624560

Yeah, the NPC/Normies stuff would tend to give a peek into why the OP is having these interactions. There are probably all sorts of clinical labels for that sorta thing, but I think of people like that I've known as 'differently social'. Some might be on the spectrum, some might be extremely introverted, some are just wired to be, or learned to be socially pessimistic, while some missed out on the developmental phase as far as human social interactions go and people pick up on that. So the exact same interaction for me could come across entirely differently to them.

[Deleted User]

No. Can’t say that I have. I’m always having the best banter with people working in shops and so on.

I wouldn’t call them “service workers” though. I just think that sounds a bit American corporate and somewhat dehumanising like “human production units”.

Most of the time working in a shop, or any job that involves lots of public interactions, you deal with so many people that it would be pretty unlikely you’d be intentionally rude. It’s just one of hundreds, possible even thousands, of interactions they may have in a day.

It’s the bit of banter and flow that makes the day go by.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624923#Comment_118624923

This is an Ad Hominem attack and reported as such.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624952#Comment_118624952

Report away, but it kinda reinforces my point about not quite getting, or misrepresenting things and how perception varies.

Going on about people being 'normies' and 'NPCs' is not exactly healthy or normal. The OP is happy enough to relate he thinks like this and at the same time wonders why people may be rude to him. the two might be connected.

fineso.mom

I genuinely can't remember the last time customer service/retail worker has been ride to me. I'm sure it must have happened sometime but if it did I probably said to myself 'jaysis that was a bit rude,they must be having a bad day',and would have forgotten about it by the time I got to the door of the shop.

I have on the other hand seen customers be rude/condescending to staff numerous times. Just recently an old man roared at a lovely young woman in a local shop that she was "nothing but a tramp",simply because he made a mistake and didn't understand his left from his right. She had told him the milk was on the left of the coffee machine. He wasn't long being told to cop on by other customers.

So,no op, I have not noticed 'service workers' being rude.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624995#Comment_118624995

You are seeking to trigger the OP. You are only able to do this because he has made a statement which exposes his feelings. Why would anyone chose to engage on a forum where other posters see this as an exploitable opportunity to be passive agressive.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625019#Comment_118625019

Yep. Your perceptions heavily impact your experiences. The extreme optimist sees a very different world to the extreme pessimist. It's very self selecting. If you believe people tend to be dicks it's easy to find them and indeed even subconciously push them to be, or only remember the bad encounters and forget the good. Like you said if you're generally happy enough in the world and someone is being a dick to you, you tend to do two things: 1) write it off as an outlier and forget about it, and 2) put yourself in their shoes and explain it away as them having a bad moment. Number 2 is the important factor IMHO, the ability to put yourself in someone elses shoes. I have found both extreme introverts and extroverts tend to lack this ability.

AyeGer

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118624952#Comment_118624952

I’m not sure if you are joking here or not?

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625073#Comment_118625073

"Trigger"? give me an ever loving break. In life and forums for that matter, if you put things out there others are likely to question them, or point out where the problem could be. If someone gets 'triggered' by that they should refrain from sharing and maybe seek help so they can be helped to navigate the world in a better way for them?

[Deleted User]

toxicity abounds.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625123#Comment_118625123

What is more 'toxic'? Thinking of other people as normies and NPCs(no doubt picked up from online communities who feel similar. The jargon will out) and thinking 'service workers' are disproportionally rude, or pointing out this is not a great way to go through life and isn't healthy social interaction and avenues are available to maybe help shift those preceptions?

[Deleted User]

You throw your weight around this website while being convinced that Vanilla is to blame for the site falling out of favour rather than your pass remarkable self.

DullSpark

It's mainly a Dublin thing. Had to do a few days work up there and the lads and I couldn't get over how rude people were, they wouldn't open their mouth regardless of how much you tried to interact

mikemac2

As they say OP, if you are sitting alone on a over-crowded bus the crazy person is you

How are you always getting bad service? How are you coming across? Tis your good self who was in every interaction that went wrong. Customer service in Ireland can be good to excellent and even when it is bad it is not always the fault of the lowly paid person you are dealing with

BrianD3

Doesn't happen that often, when it does happen I assume that they are rude to everyone but maybe I'm wrong - If I was a hot woman or a 6 foot 4 Chad, perhaps that would push some different buttons in their brains.

One thing that annoys me is surly retail workers who put change on the counter meaning I have to pick up flat coins from a flat counter. They could easily have dropped it into my hand without any bodily contact. Increasingly common as idiots seem to have forgotten how to use cash. Some glare at you and at your cash when you offer it.

Wibbs

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625181#Comment_118625181

Maybe in the city centre Dullspark? Can't say I've noticed that anywhere else in Dublin. Quite the opposite in fact. Maybe some perception is at play here too? I've a friend who has been quite convinced when travelling in rural Ireland that "they hate Dubs" and "if you're not local, they're rude" and I've never come across that myself. Or very bloody rarely anyway. Now he's a bit extreme in that to be fair.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625175#Comment_118625175

Ah jaysus, now I'm personally responsible for the site falling out of favour? 😂 oh by the by, you're going the ad hominem route. The salient difference being I'm not going to get het up about it.

ZX7R

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625226#Comment_118625226

Common practice in Europe to put change with receipt flat on the counter or in a specific money dish.

Reason been your more likely to count it and rectify if you're change is wrong.

MrMusician18

How would someone know really if "service workers" are disproportionately rude to them? You are a sample of one, and can't know what others experience.

The vast majority of interactions I have in shops are neither rude nor overly pleasant, but purely transactional.

[Deleted User]

Just an observation, but I think it's something that sometimes creeps in online from the US.

I'm Irish, but grew up in the US partially and also spent a lot of my life in France, Germany and Spain and there's a BIG difference in attitude towards people working in shops, restaurants and other retail and similar jobs where they're interacting directly with the public.

My experience in the US will proclaim how classless it is, but it really isn't. There's an ethos that the customer is always right, even when they're completely out of order and being ridiculous. It's reinforced by the endless chasing tips and commission, so you get this attitude of 'service' and 'the served' which is pretty unhealthy at times. I find you see the explosions of 'Karens' in circumstances like that and they look down their nose at the person behind the counter or with the tray in their hand.

It's in rather stark contrast to France, where there's an exchange of politenesses required. If you walk into a small shop, a hotel reception, a cafe etc and don't acknowledge the person behind the counter, or who you're passing and is stacking the shelves - you smile, say bonjour/bonsoir (monsieur/madame), you genuinely respect what they're doing, you address them as 'vous' and basically just treat them like a human who's worthy of your attention - have the chats, the banter, talk about the weather etc etc ... Once you do that, everything runs very smoothly and you'll get wonderful customer service and everyone's in great form. If you don't, they will be quite annoyed and you'll get a reaction of 'who the **** does he/she think they are..?"

Ireland's somewhere in the middle of those two positions, we're much more informal, but probably closer to France than the US in some regards - particularly when it comes to unspoken attitudes to egalitarianism and not being pompous or punching down. We've a very similar sense that if someone has 'notions' they're going to get a poor response and there certainly won't be any major rush to bend over backwards to accommodate someone throwing a Karen style tantrum.

I have seen countless examples of where Americans wandered into a French context in particular, but sometimes an Irish one, where they're confrontational because they don't get grovelling attention and the result is they get ignored or looked at in bemused bewilderment (or in France possibly might even get a a very haughty response). The Americans then conclude the French are extremely rude and the French conclude the Americans are obnoxious and demanding and it turns into a stand off.

It's about seeing people as people, not as jobs and about respecting what they do whether they're a CEO or a street sweeper. You don't look down your nose at someone because of their job and you also respect the fact they more than likely know what they're talking about in their field of expertise and that they or of worth and that their opinion is of worth. Also just appreciating that they're doing a job, they might not be having a wonderful day just at that moment.

A lot of life's about the banter and the, often minor, interactions along the way that just make everything that little bit more pleasant and add a bit of craic to what can be a pretty dry world otherwise.

One eyed Jack

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625019#Comment_118625019

I genuinely can't remember the last time customer service/retail worker has been ride to me.

Giving a whole new meaning to the term ‘customer satisfaction’ there mom 😏

Nah, can’t say I’ve ever experienced people working in shops, restaurants etc being rude to me. The odd time alright I thought they might be being overly sincere, taking the idea of customer service to heart sort of thing, but as I’d get used to them* I’d realise that nah, that’s just the way they are or their personality, shouldn’t read into it too much.

*shocking staff turnover in some places, but particularity with women there’s a lot of the whole pet names thing going on - effort to make small chat and what not, “how’s your day love? Thanks pet”, that sort of thing. It’s grand really. The odd time I’m as bad myself - spotted a nice set of shellacs on the girl behind the counter - “nice nails”, I could swear she was going to direct me to the fava beans and chianti aisle 😂

Gregor Samsa

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118625175#Comment_118625175

Who was it that once said: “This is an Ad Hominem attack and reported as such.”? 🤔

Back on track, I wonder do people have different definitions of rude.

If someone serving me threw the stuff at me, or exclaimed “That’ll be €3.20, DICKHEAD!”, I’d consider that rude.

I wouldn’t consider not smiling, not greeting me with exuberance or not chatting as rude. Or even them not saying thanks or goodbye at the end of the interaction.

So no, I very rarely encounter rude staff. Although there was a guy in my local Tesco that used to fire the stuff down the checkout to the bagging area. He used to scan things really slowly - sometimes he’d stop and just start reading the instructions or ingredients on a packet. And you’d be standing there waiting for him. Next thing he’d scan the item and absolutely launch it at you. He never said a single word (not even to tell you your total), never made eye contact. So I don’t know of he was rude and aggressive or just a bit weird. Made me laugh anyway.