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Child Item

How are you doing compared to the peers you grew up with?

Ray Palmer

I was chatting with an old school friend and were catching up on people we went to school. When we went to secondary the classes were graded so A1 and A2 were the top classes with one more mathematical and the other more artsy in the subjects. A3 and A4 were the same subjects as above just they felt the students were not as smart as top. A5 was for those with learning disabilities mostly and complete wasters.

After inter-cert the head class didn't matter as people chose their own subjects. More A1-2 took honour subjects but there was a bigger spread. Anyway there were roughly 150 lads in my year. There really isn't a surprise about anybody in terms of where they ended up now. No guy doing badly in school to only become a genius in the real world or people being completely down on their luck who seemed bright. A few health issues and deaths but that is just life.

Generally people I hung around with are on similar incomes and lifestyles and that also seems to be the case with other groups who hung out. I had spoken to an old teacher and he said you can pretty much tell where people will end up in life within the first week of dealing with the first years.

What are other's experiences?

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[Deleted User]

Career etc seems so important at a young age, but the older you get the less so. Relationship, kids, health, friends that’s all that matters really.

Not having to worry much about money is nice of course, but it’s a good bit down the list of what will bring you happiness.

LeoB

Depends on how you measure success. Different expectations from different eras.

I had a horrible time at primary school where I had a few teachers who were absolute tramps. Never spared a few slaps, pulling our ears, making little of us. My dad died suddenly when he was 47, I was only 11 years of age. My big brother brought me back to school with a warning to the principle if ever touched me again he would kick him up and down the corridor. I wasn't touched again but other kids got it worse. One lad told me he didnt mind getting slaps from teachers. The insults still haunt him. He dribbled a bit and the teacher used to insult him.

I enjoyed my secondary school the variety and meeting people from other towns. The teachers were very good. It was a technical school and from what I know a few went into trades and done very well for themselves. I didnt keep in touch with many from secondary school but I still meet lads from my primary school everyday and they have all done well. But I just wasn't happy in school and I got a job when I was 16 and am still in it, im 58. I drank a fair bit for about 10 years but am off it 30 years now, My only regret in life was not returning to school, maybe not a regret but something I would change. My GP a family friend wanted me to go back and he was prepared to fund it. I done my first exam when I was 54 year and nearly had a nervous breakdown. Practically I was good but didn't like written side of it. I can retire in 2 years with a full pension but am seriously thinking of doing a proper course around social care or something where I would be dealing with people. I love talking and listening to people and am a good communicator. I was a decent enough sports coach.

Being from a rural community farming was the main thing in my area and a lot of lads went into farming, a few very successfully. A few went working in retail and factories. A few emigrated to USA, UK and Canada. One became a priest and sadly has officiated at funerals of former school pals. Sadly a few were killed in car crashes. Not many went on to college. But I know a few returned to do various course through their work. There is far more emphasis on education now than when I was at school. It is like everyone must have a degree when they clearly dont. One or two lad set up their own companies based on trades they had done, Carpentry, Electrical, plumbing etc and they have been successful.

As it is Im happily married, 2 children, 1 dog, 2 cars (the green party are making it difficult though). Saved a few quid along the way. I own my own house. Our eldest graduated with first class honors from Trinity and has landed a very good job with a top company and the other is currently in Trinity and doing very well. We put a lot of effort into their education and encouraged them without any pressure. In my eyes thats success.

Are the people who went on to be very successful really happy with life.? I'M not sure they are. No doubt some are but a few I know gave up sports and other clubs to pursue their work careers and missed out on stuff in the community working long hours.

Great thread.

olestoepoke

There were 5 of us that hung around together, we all left school after the Inter Cert. Coolock in the 80s almost no one went to uni. I ended up a Carpenter and travelled and worked abroad for most of my 20s and 30s. The others...One is a very successful builder, one drives trucks across Europe, one died of a Heroin over dose in his mid 30s and finally one guy ended up with serious mental health issues and has been in and out of psychiatric facilities most of his life mainly due to a bad family situation and excessive drug taking.

LeoB

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118621280#Comment_118621280

Maybe they are looking at you and saying the same?

Because someone appears to be successful doesn't mean they are actually successful. What have they really got out of how you see them? How are you measuring success?

I spoke to my boss about 10 years ago about going for a certain job. He told me it wouldn't suit me. I was well liked where I was and to take up this job would require a totally different approach, a change of personality. He was right in hindsight. I think I was just at a low ebb heading for 50 and possibly thinking life was passing me by. But when I thought about it I was happy enough. The guy who took up the role is not liked at all.

We are not all cut out for management roles yet management can't do without us. So take stock of where you. I dont have any qualifications like you and I would regard what you have as been successful. Measure where you are. Where you want to go.

Jim2007

I only caught up a few years ago with people from my class of 40+ years a go….

The first shock was those that died young, in particular a guy that died in a swimming accident 2 years after we left college. He was the team captain, the boy that lead us to a provincial college championship, the guy who at the end of a match could still find the extra strength to jump that little bit higher, run that little bit faster…. Gone just like that! You just assume everyone is getting on with life and you find others did not get to do the things that were expected - a career, marriage, kids, grandkids etc.
The second was the number who were smarter than me, got better results than I did, but then did not do anything with them - no college, apprenticeships or even the civil service. Most have ended up in the hotel sector - servers, a bar man etc. They are smart people so I can’t imagine it was by design but rather circumstances. In the Ireland of 40 years ago being smart and getting a county council grant was not enough - your family still needed money if you were to get to college.
Of the rest: teachers, a couple of senior members of the Garda, a full army colonel, a couple of senior civil servants, one CEO, several business owners, a few farmers, the usual stuff.
As for me, I don’t know if I’m what others would consider successful, but I’m happy. I stopped working for an income at 55, having not held a full time employment position since I was 26. Mostly I did consulting and obtained royalties from products I worked on plus I held a directorship at a European bank for a couple of years. I still work, but only on stuff that interests me or is a not for profit project.

Gorteen

If we had that "American thing" of a graduation book with 'Most likely to be President', 'Most likely to end up in Jail', etc I would have been the latter.

However, at the risk of sounding immodest, I would have been underestimated!

I'm at the top of the hierarchy in my professional field, with responsibility for the work of more than 500 staff in a large public service organisation. Since leaving school at age 16, without a Leaving Certificate... I've completed study at BSc(Hons) level, Post Grad Dip, and have two Masters degrees on top of professional education. Not bad, for a lad who didn't do a leaving cert!!!

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118623099#Comment_118623099

Success means different things to different people. For many it really is career and/or money. For others it's having strong relationships.

Personally I measure success against my own needs and goals rather than what I feel it should be. Being mentally sound and having good people in my life is what matters to me.

Having children isn't important to me or working every hour going or visiting x amount of countries.

We each have the things which matter and I don't think any of us has a monopoly on success.

Juran

From my gang in school, we all went to college/RTC in the mid 90's. 3 are teachers, 3 are stay at home mothers (didnt really have a career to give up), a couple work in admin roles, 2 in mangement roles and a few settled in the US. After university, I by chance ended up in the pharma industry, moved a few roles, completed a couple of masters thanks to employers, worked in clinical trials for years and started my own consultancy in this area 8 years ago. I work mainly for European based pharma companies, I travel a lot to Asia, US and europe. I live a very modest life, I dont flash my wealth to my friends, for example, my husband and I travel 1st or business class for longhaul holidays, but I dont tell my friends.

But I do believe some of my school friends who dont have a lot of money, but have their own house, kids, annual holiday to Spain are probably happier in their life.

Steve012

Doing pretty well tbh, a lot of my friends from the past are dead, drug overdoses or suicide. Pulled myself out of the mud in my mid twenties, engaged to the woman of my dreams now, and came from a builders labourer, to an accountant, have a dream house in Wicklow, came from a bad part of Tallaght originally, so happy out with life!! 👍🏽

Great topic btw OP

[Deleted User]

Anyone I went to school with cant think of or never heard of anyone who did anything unusual I would say 80% are nurses or teachers or something similar.

My friends, I have known since we were tots walking to school together, one runing their own business with their husband has become well off. The other sold up in their 50s, made money from their house and move beside the sea in Wexford, and only works part-time now.

corner of hells

I'm doing OK, married with adult kids nice house and nearly there with the mortgage.

In a career that I love , never going to be a millionaire though.

Of my friends , most seem to be doing OK, a few living in the US, Australia or Europe.

eEmployed mainly as tradesmen, teachers or nurses. Quite a few never left the area we're from and a what seems to me a lot of failed relationships and marriages.

One seems to be living a very difficult life at the moment, last I heard he was homeless in Glasgow struggling with alcoholism .

Temptamperu

they are married with kids and im getting drunk playing elden ring. we can tell who is clearly winning 😂

yagan

Interesting thread. Leaving school in the 80s meant emigration so I lost contact with a lot of school friends. Only a handful managed to get jobs in my hometown but I got back in the late 90s and I could see others trickling back to settle down, start families.

A best friend who was extremely smart was taken with drug addiction. Another friend who was dead quiet in school turned into a womaniser.

Only one lad ended up doing exactly what he wanted to do!

I was very middling in school, went to college years after I left school and I've had three distinct careers since. I'm not rich, I've seen a lot of the world and knowing how good we have it now makes life's simple pleasures more enjoyable.

Witchie

I was so full of potential at school. Always in the top sector of my class, popular and doing well in most exams. Then I went and got pregnant in the 2nd year of my 2 year college course. Married the loser, went back to do another course, worked for a music magazine (dream job!) left to keep him from moaning about how much I enjoyed my work. Moved back to my home county, had another child, kicked the abusive husband out and spent almost 20 years doing jobs I wasn't that mad about just to keep my kids in a warm, comfy home and give them a chance at life.

Went back to college when I was 40, ended up following my childhood dreams and becoming a writer. When my youngest went to college I went travelling in Asia and lived there for 4 years until COVID. Moved back home temporarily, but now am in Albania for a year, own a content agency and am loving life.

So while most of my friends went on to be nurses, teachers, an archeaologist, work in computers or finance, I raised 2 amazing young lads, struggled through some really shi**y times and now live the life I dreamed of on those depressing, lonely nights.

I feel successful despite the fact that I make crap money and currently don't have a partner, but I have so much fun getting to know people from all over the world as I travel and explore it. I should be sleeping, but an urgent client request came in so am up dealing with it because I am due to have no electricity tomorrow! The joys of running a business eh?

padd b1975

Make more money than most but work harder than all.

Mad_maxx

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118728975#Comment_118728975

That's very impressive perseverance