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Separation - husband resistant

sjosdublin56

Hi there,

My husband and I have been married for nearly 3 year (will be 3 in November) and I have decided I want to separate and ultimately divorce. no one specific cause but we are very incompatible and I have become extremely unhappy in the relationship. There is zero chance of reconciliation on my part, but I believe he would like to continue the marriage.

he is a non EU national and is currently eligible to stay and work in Ireland as he is married to an Irish national. I don’t want him to lose this so am happy to postpone legal proceedings until he is more sure he won’t lose his visa. Having said this, I am not willing to live with him indefinitely. I have asked him to look for another place to live, we currently live in a property that I bought before we met.

he is currently getting a bit nasty about it all but I will admit that this has happened quickly (we officially “broke up” just over a week ago) so am happy to give him more time to let it sink in and figure out what he wants to do, and he needs/wants from me. But like I said, I can’t live with home forever. How long do you think is reasonable for us to cohabitate before he either moves out or I enlist the services of a solicitor?

to note, I am financially better off than him (in terms of salary) but he certainly able to afford a place of his own. He hasn’t contributed a huge amount of money to household while we were together but if it came to it I would be willing to give him money to repay whatever he did contribute. No children involved at all.

any advise would be greatly appreciated

thanks!

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[Deleted User]

The OP hasn't mentioned any children together, so I think its safe to presume they don't have any, which makes the issue of which parent gets to stay in the house after they separate irrelevant to their situation.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118551938#Comment_118551938

This is crazy. Like very many people I lived in many places growing up simply because of my father's job. Many others simply buy different homes when their financial circumstances change. This is very normal in the Ireland in which I live, most especially among upwardly mobile career-focused people. Who actually comes up with this crap which would condemn a father to the poverty of renting in Dublin because the kids might be "upset" if they have to move home? Jesus Christ almighty. Law reform cannot come soon enough to this backward, benighted State.

Stanford

Irish judges have always sought to cause minimal disruption to the kids of separating parents especially if they are young on the basis that kids are blameless in a marital breakdown. Typically the spouse with whom the kids normally reside gets to stay in the family home and that spouse buys out the other spouses share.