They’ll probably start putting us down once we reach a certain age soon enough anyways.
Health care services will only get worse, we can’t afford pensions as it is.
Kids can’t look after themselves, how anyone thinks they’ll look after their invalid parents is laughable.
My uncle's solicitor deals with the nursing home, he sends money from my uncle's accounts for all toiletries and clothing he needs.
we visit, we are visitors who go to sit with him, chat to him etc. He doesn't need us to do anything for him, he has taken care of that himself.
my wishes are known, I do not have to give anyone the option of saying no, because I do not need them to do anything me, not do I want them caring for me. My wishes are also known in the event that something happens to me now, long before I'm old.
There are a couple of places like this in south county dublin, you must be over 55 to live there, little clinic and community room on-site, great places.
I sincerely hope that you stay well and remain able to make decisions for yourself. Im not trying to cause upset - Im just trying to give a view from a position from somebody who found themselves having to make decisions and care for a childless uncle. Even though he is now in a care home there is still a role I have to do.
And I have a childless uncle and he has done for himself, as I intend to.
Agreed.
But I'm still very disappointed in the quality of alternatives suggested in this thread - which is what I popped in here for in the first place.
I think some kind of elder advocacy service is likely a more successful business model than the elderly-village proposed a few posts ago.
Thats super for him - but not at all the norm. I would hate when I get older for all decisions regarding my care, my finances and my life to be in the hands of a care home and a solicitor who frankly dont give a damn about me.
Let us know how you get on with that
Theres plenty of kids "who frankly don't give a damn" about their parents too. Having a child is a guarantee of nothing
I don't know why you would be disappointed, the retirement villages there are already work extremely well. It's an excellence place to live and I for one will be looking at one when the time comes.
Better than relying on your children to wipe the **** off your arse!
You can be as organised as you want, you are still relying on someone else (siblings and nephews) to be organized also and to know/care that you have some arrangement with a solicitor. Not to mention potential issues with these people not being your next of kin or legal guardians. You could have a stroke in the morning that left you unable to communicate.
It's not the air tight solution you seem to think it is.
And what difference would it make if I had children?
No one can be comp!merely organised for any eventuality, because we can't see into the future. I will be as organised and ready as it's possible to be and no, I won't necessarily need to rely on siblings, nephews etc. Sure they could be long gone.
The amount of posters trying to knock others, who have actually thought about this and made arrangements is unbelievable. One of the worst things you could do, imo, is nothing and then rely on your children to do everything.
The decision to have children can. never. be. questioned. Any and all action in defense of that decision is justified.
Hurricane Harvey. Plenty of notice. No elderlies removed from their storage prior to the hurricane hitting. But, where were the childers?
(Yes, they had children)
Just one question for you - Do you have elderly parents or grandparents - Did you completely ignore them when they needed care and someone looking out for them - Did you do nothing for them?
The reality is 99% of children care for their elderly parents - care takes many forms remember which can be anything from driving to doctors appointments, a bit of shopping, house cleaning right through to wiping their arses and showering them, and looking after their welfare in a nursing home.
Yes I have parents and I had grandparents.
And no I would not ever want any member of my family doing those things for me. None of them, particularly if I had children.
How hard is that to understand?
I think the important thing is to have nothing, people here in 1000/week nursing homes free of charge really pees me off.
everyone should have it free or no one have it free.
I'd hopeto be able to use a slicitor to look after my finances if I'm in that position
Or, leaving them, unvisited, in storage facilities like the one I posted above. 99% is what I like to call, "Proof by blatant assertion." My assertion is that it's more like 10% of children do anything more than make sure the nursing home is paid for. 90% don't visit, don't take them shopping, etc.
My assertion's as good as yours .
My parents have a 5 children.
20% look after them.
Feels like 80% couldn’t care less.
it costs €1000 a week to keep someone in a nursing home.
it costs €1000 a week to go on a cruise.
open goal right there.
Well for starters your children are your next of kin which, in the event of your untimely death, makes things like probate a lot easier.
It's also a simpler process for them to become your legal guardian.
Finally, they will be looking out for you, at least more so than some "facility" or solicitor would.
I'm not knocking your decision by the way, i'm pointing out what I see as flaws in your plan that could be covered by children. I dont think anyone has advocated doing nothing and relying on your children, so that strawman fails.
Childish answer tbh. No one said you cant question it, it actually seems that you are the one unable to be questioned on the matter!
btw, your image just shows how well the facilities who are being paid did in looking after those people...
I have no children now, do you think I don't have next of kin? And you don't need a next of kin if you have a will and guarantors of the will.
I wouldn't want them to become my legal guardian, that's just weird to me.
And no guarantees that any child will look out for you when you're old, plenty don't.
No, I dont think you have no next of kin, but you asked what would be different if you had children and I pointed out that they would be your next of kin, compared to your siblings/nephews/solicitor.
Your will becomes relevant when people know you have one and where it is.
Thats fine, my kids being my legal guardian, if required, isn't weird to me.
Again with the strawman! No one is saying it guarantees anything!
S'Ok. The children those people had took them home well in advance of the hurricane. NOT.
Glad to clear that up for you.
And the solicitors, nephews and siblings did a great job. NOT.
Am I doing this right?
btw, any evidence for your statement that these residents had children?
She said families of each of the residents, who ranged in age from 59 to 99, had been called and asked if they wanted to pick them up. The families declined, she said.
https://www.houstonchronicle.com/news/houston-texas/houston/article/Report-Assisted-Living-residents-left-in-peril-13129748.php
Families != children.
Certainly not 99 year old children, at least not in my experience!
Try again
Those were the ages of the residents.
Ok I'll try again.
Your sister, aunt, cousin is not your child, they are however your family.
We'll get there.
Are you suggesting none of the residents have children? Based on their age ranges I expect many have children and grandchildren. Are they not in the families of the residents? Or just hairsplitting that the quote didn't include children?
No, you are suggesting that they all had children and that none of those children took the parents out of that care facility to prove some point that having children wont mean you are looked after when you are old.
I merely asked you for some evidence that in fact any of them had children, you have so far failed to provide any.
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