nav[aria-label="Primary Navigation"] { padding: 0; & ul { list-style: none; width: 100%; display: flex; flex-direction: row; justify-content: start; align-items: start; gap: 30px; padding: 0; & li { margin: 0; } & ul li { list-style: none; } } }

Child Item

Exploiting narcissists.

[Deleted User]

The obvious is to avoid these people, and that's the accepted sort of advice. But sometimes you realise you're dealing with one and you're in a situation you didn't expect.

Is it possible to simply take advantage of their innate needs, rather than fall victim to them? I don't think doing so makes you a narcissist, it just makes you smarter than them.

Personally, I've been in the situation once and I wish I had just wrecked him. He thought so little of me, and I could have walked him down a path and pulled out when he needed me hurting him greatly. I instead pulled out early in that particular project.

It doesn't get talked about much. It's like they have a mythical status as a danger, when it could be a boon, maybe.

Find more posts tagged with

Quick Links

Comments

dxhound2005

What are your qualifications to assess and label people as Assholes?

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118186182#Comment_118186182

But unqualified assessments using labels are?

It’s this deluded self confidence that makes you an excellent target, but you don’t even seem to realise it.

Eirher way, can you really blame people for taking advantage of others if they are too gullible to be on their guard? If people here think it’s ok to exploit “undesirables” then surely they can do the same without judgement.

NSAman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118186907#Comment_118186907

Verbal attacking not physical, have never hit anyone in my life to date and doubt I ver will.

Unfortunately, his ability to lash out at those people who actually take care of him is legendary. If this involves staff or myself it is a case of actually retaliating with facts, in a shock way. That gets the attention. It happens a few times a year and while I am a patient person, when I blow I explode.

Of course, everything is turned around on you. i.e. you attacked me! The fact his behaviour is shocking and insulting and he cannot see it. When it is brought to his attention it's "you attacked me" "I'm always doing wrong" (I.e. always the victim).

The staff ignore him now at this stage and leave it to me to deal with him, which I obviously can.

Reasoning doesn't work most of the time. The world is against him.

Funnily enough when the next thing is required he starts to become friendly again.

He will NEVER apologise...which is stupid.

Honestly, it's a lot of wasted energy dealinig with him. Sometimes it is easy to explode and just let him sulk and feel victimhood (makes everyone elses life easier)..;)

superflyninja

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118170465#Comment_118170465

I know of one person that fits the bill and she is an absolute nightmare to deal with. We had to cut her off in the end, zero contact. There is probably more to her than just narcissism to be fair, Id say there is a good dollop of sociopath in there.

But she is unbelievable, for years and years lying to different groups and playing them off against each other, always positioning herself to be the saint and martyr. She always setup her circle, kept one person there and controlled and the rest at distance. Its when she wants to swap out her go-to person that sh!t hits the fan so to speak. The manipulation, the lies, the wrangling tiny truths into complex webs of deceit. If I was to give you examples, I know it would sound very difficult to believe. Like looking at a movie thinking no real person would act like that. Oh boy they do....

Anyway, what did you do to combat him? You mentioned attacking him?

padjocollins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4yraZiJ9D8

dxhound2005

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185691#Comment_118185691

Asshole is not any use for this discussion.

Brid Hegarty

My narcissistic sister felt my dad wasn't making a big enough deal about her upcoming birthday party so she initiated the first step of a tantrum by saying "you know what forget it... I'm calling it off". I immediately laughed and said "I call your bluff". I know her too well. The look of confusion on her face was priceless.

Jequ0n

It might be worth keeping in mind that not every asshole you come across is a narcissist or whatever. There is also no “one type” to any type of person or personality, and you are seriously deluded if you think you have a safe way of identifying people, and how to deal with them. Just because an approach worked with one person doesn’t mean it will work on another.

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118184041#Comment_118184041

A person would have to be a prize chump to reach out in kindness to someone who is totally toxic.

boardlady

I know one true narcissist. How she interacted with her children was chilling. They are shaped for life by her actions. She blames anybody and everybody for everything in her life that she does not like. Absolutely no personal responsibility and endless deflection. And the desire to control their father was at the root of everything. When he left her and she 'lost' control of him, she almost allowed it to kill her. So yes, 'taking' control of oneself away from a narcissist will always unhinge them. However, if you are embroiled with this person in either a family or business partnership and cannot escape them, then this will inevitably lead to further woes for you. I think NSAman's description of his business partner sounds spot on. I cannot say that this woman is 'evil' or 'malicious' - she is well able to be charming to others and to have others believe her side of stories, but the desire to control others, both physically and how they think, is compulsive. The greatest tool her husband ever had against her was his indifference to her. It may not have been completely true, but if he gave her the impression he was indifferent to whatever she was up to at any given time, it was by far the most effective way of disempowering her. She would happily engage in conflict for ever more than to face his indifference.

zom

People started to pay well for it (for someone else narcissism) so no surprise it is rocketing like a rocket nowdays...

[Deleted User]

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118184464#Comment_118184464

He tried to steal my company.

And just because a term is overused, it doesn't mean the original doesn't exist. Like maybe you just haven't met one.

As for stooping to their level, no. My ideas of morality are more advanced than a 13-year-old's.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118184442#Comment_118184442

What made you believe that this person was dangerous?

And don’t you think you stoop to the same level if you deliberately seek out to exploit said person?

[Deleted User]

I tried be clear that I'm not talking about self-centred people etc.

I'm talking about actual dangerous narcissists who will destroy your life. I was over the age of 30 when I first met one and had to research what they could be.

dogbert27

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118176376#Comment_118176376

I think nearly everybody will be guilty of a few of those at some points in their lives.

What has been referred to as the pop psychology is that should somebody, i.e. an ex partner display some form of self centred decision they are automatically branded a narcissist.

ILoveYourVibes

I think you have to reach out in kindness to the ones you think are in the wrong.

Even narcissists have feelings. And they don't deserve game playing.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118183461#Comment_118183461

It sounded like a fun fact a day thing, so yes.

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118183431#Comment_118183431

Found what entertaining? You mean if I kept posting? I've a lot of tails to tell about narcs.

Jequ0n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118183278#Comment_118183278

I was half joking but would have found it entertaining too

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118183204#Comment_118183204

I think that's all I've to say for now. I just find dealing with them interesting.

Jequ0n

@Brid Hegarty is this going to be a revelation a day like an advent calendar?

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118170374#Comment_118170374

Tell us a thing or two about the full blown narcs you've encountered? If you wouldn't mind.

Brid Hegarty

They are typically blame shifters... another warning sign for such a person.

Brid Hegarty

I heard there's more male narcissists than female.

In Actuality

I feel like I've become an expert at spotting narcissists of late. It can make life so much easier when you see the red flags.

Jequ0n

An interesting thread. So far I have learned that it is acceptable to exploit some people’s weaknesses, whilst most people usually condemn any behaviour of the kind. I will keep that in mind.

Brid Hegarty

@[Deleted User] It doesn't get talked about much. It's like they have a mythical status as a danger, when it could be a boon, maybe.

I'm not sure I follow... even after looking up the word 'boon'.

Apiarist

If you want to exploit a narcissist, you should play on their feelings of self-importance, reinforcing their delusions and gaining favour by making you less repugnant to the narcissist than others who do not appreciate the narcissist's brilliance. However, in my eyes, this would make you a manipulative psycho.

From https://www.emedicinehealth.com/what_are_the_nine_traits_of_a_narcissist/article_em.htm:

How Is Narcissism Diagnosed?

Narcissistic personality disorder (narcissism) is diagnosed using The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) criteria. A person must meet five of nine of the following traits for a diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder.

A grandiose sense of self-importance
Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Belief that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
Requires excessive admiration
Has a sense of entitlement
Is interpersonally exploitative – takes advantage of others
Lacks empathy
Envies others or believes others are envious of him or her
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes

Brid Hegarty

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118170239#Comment_118170239

Elon Musk, Kanye West, Donald Trump

85603

Put a w4nky sounding logo on some slightly higher grade cheap Chinese clothing.

Tell them its exclusive. Sell them a tshirt for 300 euro.