The Magnificent Seven cast were booked to do an advert for after shave in Liverpool.
Only six turned up. Yul never wore cologne.
I was telling a border collie some jokes about sheep, but he'd herd them all before.
What do you call a nun on a motor scooter?..........................A Vespal Virgin
Sad news from the Welsh sheepdog trials. Five of them were hung.
Welcome to Boards.IE
Took the girlfriend out for dinner and played footsie under the table while we were eating. I had a lovely steak and she got toed in the hole.
My dog ate my game of Scrabble, his next poop could spell disaster.
Edam is the only cheese that is made backwards.
The government says that smoking weed causes memory loss.
That's rubbish, next thing they'll say smoking weed causes memory loss?
You have to be careful when hiking on volcanoes.
If you stumble, you might Krakatoa two.
Does anyone remember the chiropractor joke that was posted about a week back?
A crack addict.
2 weeks later, I stand corrected
I have lots of back issues.
When I was young, my dad used to hit me with his camera, I still have flashbacks.
Just bought a 20' high motorbike! - I'll let you know how i got on later tonight
You can prove anything with coats.
I'll get my quote.
Of all the different blood groups, type-o's seem to make the most spelling mistakes.
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I just found out my girlfriends a ghost. To be honest, I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
I went to a fancy dress party dressed as a screwdriver. I turned a few heads I can tell ya.
What do you call an Italian beggar?
Giovanni Change
What do you call an Irish bodyguard?
Liam Malone
I've just bought some HP sauce.
It's 10 Cents a month for 2 years.
I went to a fat psychic once, or as I like to say, a 4 chin teller.
I met the customs officer who claims he invented the cavity search or at least had a hand in it.
I'm making a film about a plane hijacking - we're shooting the pilot this weekend.
What did the horse say to the one-legged cowboy?
How you getting on?
Everyone always talks about what a genius Albert Einstein was but they never mention what a monster his brother Frank was. :-D
I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes…it all about raisin awareness
My wife has a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. If I put my ear on it I can smell the sea!