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Shamed for being Frugal

enoughalready

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? My friend today shamed me by stating I was so stingy in front of another friend because of my money saving, frugal habits. I was so annoyed that I shot back that at least I'm not in credit card debt and so on. It got me thinking that now in future I have to 'hide' my fugal way off living because if I speak about it people will call me cheap or stingy. Its a horrible feeling not being able to live the lifestyle you want without being judged. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how they combated it?

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Latatian

MayoSalmon wrote: »

Life is too short to be a tight arse..not meeting up with friends because of a 30 euro meal is depressing but hey whatever makes you happy. The most valuable thing you will have in old age will be your memories and if creating tem costs a little bit then so be.

Not that it makes you happy to be unable to go out for dinner with friends- it's that you have to do it. You have no other option.

Sometimes you'll 'grin and bear it' and go for the meal (it's a special occasion, you don't want to appear 'cheap')... and that could be your week's food bill gone. So the rest of the week you don't eat, or you eat plain pasta-and-salt. Gets old if it's for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Life is too short to have to do that to 'keep up appearances'.

Apologies if it looks like I'm piling on. Just saw the other two responses now- such is not my intention.

zell12

Daily Mail -Maths teacher who goes bin diving reveals how she can eat three meals a day plus snacks for FREE

Íde, 39, from Dublin, was horrified by the idea of perfectly good food being thrown away and started going through supermarket dumpsters weekly to rescue fruit, vegetables, meat, ready meals and even fancy chocolates.

'I talked about it quite openly at work. Sometimes I'd bring in stuff and I'd leave a sign saying, 'Free doughnuts – these are dumpster-dived. Some people were really disgusted about it.'
'People walking past assume you're poor or you don't have anything. You're not driving consumption and you're saving something, that would have otherwise been wasted, from being thrown out.'

kleefarr

zell12 wrote: »

Daily Mail -Maths teacher who goes bin diving reveals how she can eat three meals a day plus snacks for FREE

Shame on the shamers.

Conall Cernach

My concern with "dumpster diving" would be that the food, even though it is probably in its packaging, has been sitting in a bin where rats etc. have been urinating and defecating etc. Fruit, veg and bread don't usually come in air/water tight packaging.

statesaver

zell12 wrote: »

Daily Mail -Maths teacher who goes bin diving reveals how she can eat three meals a day plus snacks for FREE

Sorry, but she does not look very healthy

DJIMI TRARORE

statesaver wrote:

Sorry, but she does not look very healthy

That was my 1st reaction too, especially around the eyes

pottokblue

Fair play to her from dumpsterdiving she can save money for a future wildlife trip once they lift the 5km nonessential travel restrictions...

GypsyByName

My mother invited me out for coffee once, then asked me if I fancied a chicken fillet roll. She then proceeded to whip one out her bag that she had prepared that morning and brought to the coffee shop!

Shes beyond frugal and I was ashamed, I say it in front of her all the time now to wind her up!

Feisar

Stuff I do that's not as dramatic as going through waste!:

Bring a flask instead of popping out for coffee three times a day
Bring my own lunch, extra win for boiling a ham on a Sunday, lunch "meat" is mental expensive plus isn't filling
Odds and ends of veg get turned into soup.
Toiletries get bought by the tonne! Well not exactly but you get the idea. Plus always which the price per liter on shower gel for example. Two for one might not be a better deal than another product. And they are all practically the same, sodium laurette sulphate being the primary ingrediant after aqua/water.
Buy in bulk where it makes sense. I.e. yogurts, we'll buy a large tub and share it between us.
Vote with your senses and not the marketing, know what generic products are as good or better than the branded versions.

The above saves a lot of money with no negative impact in living standard/enjoyment.

Ash.J.Williams

enoughalready wrote: »

I wonder if anyone else has experienced this? My friend today shamed me by stating I was so stingy in front of another friend because of my money saving, frugal habits. I was so annoyed that I shot back that at least I'm not in credit card debt and so on. It got me thinking that now in future I have to 'hide' my fugal way off living because if I speak about it people will call me cheap or stingy. Its a horrible feeling not being able to live the lifestyle you want without being judged. Has anyone else had a similar experience and how they combated it?

Sometimes I’ve observed frugal friends taking for granted how much is spent on a social event and being frugal with coughing up . They are the lowest of humanity:)

Feisar

Ash.J.Williams wrote: »

Sometimes I’ve observed frugal friends taking for granted how much is spent on a social event and being frugal with coughing up . They are the lowest of humanity:)

Does my head in, the first up to drop to the bottom of the wine list etc, then total shock at the cost at the end of the evening. Or the couple that says "we didn't have a starter/desert". Yea but ye had the steaks with the supplement cost plus drank two bottles between ye. Feck me it does my head in.

cbreeze

Three meanies:

Guy in work (pre-Covid) used to look out for deliveries of buns/sandwiches for meetings he was not even going to and duck into the conference room and grab some before the attendees had a chance to get them.

Some retired civil servant was on a committee as an external advisor and he would scoop up all the scones, butter and jams left over at the end of meetings - he was that crass he even took the little baskets they came in!

In a society I'm there were regular meetings followed by dinner with wine. One member used to go round at the end of the meal pouring all the wine from the nearly empty bottles into one bottle to take home with him. Worse, he even mixed the red and the white! Waste not want not I suppose

Happymonkey123

To be fair I think there is a big difference between frugal & a tight arse or just plain mean. I think mean ppl give frugal living a bad rep. I've been frugal since college, no choice, my mam was a widow since I was a child. I've learned skills to save getting professionals to do things, try to shop around for things I need, use coupons etc but if I agree to go out for drink or meal I'm buying my round. I only purchase in that restaurant or bar as its a business with staff to pay etc. At ppl birthday I spend the same money as they do on me but I do try & shop around to get more bang for their buck, family know me now so they will tend to tell me what they want so they get more for their money. I hate meaness but if I can save on things that I don't care about so that I'm mortgage free at 37 with my house worth €350,000, why not!!

Stanford

https://boards.ie/discussion/comment/98793775#Comment_98793775

+1 for the difference between "frugal" and "mean", the first is a lifestyle choice and nobody's business, the second is a nasty personality trait and can impact on others. Which one is the OP guilty of?

zell12

Resurrecting this thread, as I observe we are being more frugal now. People shopping for the best deals, carefully choosing in the supermarket, not wasting as much food, trying not to fall for advertising. Cafes, pubs, are shutting as there is less custom, etc. Maybe I'm wrong

L1011

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/121773078#Comment_121773078

I'd say there's a difference between being frugal and being broke - a lot of people only adjusted their habits cause of the latter.

gussieg

learning to make and do and grow your own food is something we were lucky to grow up with, and is something worth passing on as it is so needed right now.