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Ghosted after a few good dates

Johnnytractors

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

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Surreptitious

retro:electro wrote: »

Anyone who says “how’s you” is a wrong ‘un

They are all at that on dating sites. They think it makes them 'cool'. Sadly for them, it doesn't.

retro:electro

Anyone who says “how’s you” is a wrong ‘un

Wallet Inspector

YellowLead wrote: »

Agree! I sort of meant my comment sarcastically, but I guess I didn’t pull that off )

Oops, sorry.

machiavellianme

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. It's what the Americans call Motor Neurone Disease.

I thought ASL is American Sign Language. Watch Sound of Metal!

YellowLead

Wallet Inspector wrote: »

Oh it's textbook stuff. Respond in kind and they get an ego bruising so get in touch. Their own medicine.

Agree! I sort of meant my comment sarcastically, but I guess I didn’t pull that off

)

Wallet Inspector

YellowLead wrote: »

Bit odd that she only reached out after he unfollowed her on instagram...

Oh it's textbook stuff. Respond in kind and they get an ego bruising so get in touch. Their own medicine.

Wallet Inspector

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

Going by the way Irish women talk in American accents now, I'd just assume they got the idea of ghosting from Sex and the City or Instagram or something.

No it's just cowardly behaviour that members of both sexes unfortunately opt for.

bb1234567

Ubbquittious wrote: »

I doubt it tbh. That is self pitying Mogtow sh1te. Have never seen any research to back it

I think it's just a way for less attractive men to cope with their rejection. As a gay man I would have to say it is very obvious to me that women hold the cards with hookups online, and they definitely have the opportunity to choose upwards on sites like tinder which men don't seem to afforded the same ooportunities. Which means many guys have to lower standards if they want any success, obviously.

But the 20% of men having 80% of sex is just bull, like come on. Think about guys you know in orindary life. Average looking guys, girls may not be crawling all over them but most seem to manage to find a girl to have fun with on a night out now and them, and a girlfriend where they want, and they're usually reasonably well matched for the most part looks wise, it's just the way the world seems to fall into order usually. Like this claim online that it's only super model men getting tail is just not evident if you go outsie of your bedroom, it's a fantasy.

Ubbquittious

Marco23d wrote: »

It's said that 20 percent of men are having 80% of the sex in first world societies.

I doubt it tbh. That is self pitying Mogtow sh1te. Have never seen any research to back it

Marco23d

YellowLead wrote: »

Ah both genders do this!
My guess is you are correct she connected with somebody else she liked more and when that guy shied away/dropped her she came crawling back to OP.
Fair enough if she had just gone a bit quiet - but to block somebody with no explanation or goodbye and then sail right back - unbelievable

It's said that 20 percent of men are having 80% of the sex in first world societies.

[Deleted User]

Tell me how wrote: »

Absolutely. But you communicate this to people who you are close to or else they should definitely consider how much they invest in whatever type of relationship you have with them.

You can't just put a relationship on hold entirely of your own volition (even platonic ones) until you need it.

And that aside, this lady blocked him. That's a very definite message.

Tbf i wouldnt have any particularly close friends,even platonically that i feel would miss if i go to ground for a few weeks/months (nor hugely interested in changing this)

Being blocked is a fairly clear message,ive long closed down the social media accounts too....they are pure poison for the soul

raclle

Fandymo wrote: »

You don't think women want to have one night stands?

Here's a secret: Women like sex too, and sometimes just want a ride.

Single, mid thirties, good looking and in shape

Tell me how

Deleted User wrote: »

Tbf i been known to do similar,can disappear for months on end if i get overrun or head melted in personal/work life and need my own space

Yous dont have to put up with it mind (and she could be a pure game changer)

,but some times people need alone time/radio silence from everyone for their own well being

Absolutely. But you communicate this to people who you are close to or else they should definitely consider how much they invest in whatever type of relationship you have with them.

You can't just put a relationship on hold entirely of your own volition (even platonic ones) until you need it.

And that aside, this lady blocked him. That's a very definite message.

[Deleted User]

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey thanks for your message and sorry to hear it happened to you as well. As you say time is a great healer.

Basically she found out I unmatched her on Instagram. She said she was sorry for vanishing and is taking a break and is clearing her head for personal reasons. That was it

Tbf i been known to do similar,can disappear for months on end if i get overrun or head melted in personal/work life and need my own space

Yous dont have to put up with it mind (and she could be a pure game player)

,but some times people need alone time/radio silence from everyone for their own well being

sporina

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey thanks for your message and sorry to hear it happened to you as well. As you say time is a great healer.

Basically she found out I unmatched her on Instagram. She said she was sorry for vanishing and is taking a break and is clearing her head for personal reasons. That was it

pleeeeeease don't reply! I know that might be hard for you as you seem like a nice guy. Mayb you should block her - give her a taste of her own medicine.. but whether you do or not... please please don't reply.. thats a sob story.. she blocked you - end of. Don't be a raggy doll she can decide to play with when it suits her.. your better than that - plenty more fish and all that

partyguinness

TBH..."clearing head" and "personal" issues is not what you need to hear this early on. Avoid.

[Deleted User]

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey thanks for your message and sorry to hear it happened to you as well. As you say time is a great healer.

Basically she found out I unmatched her on Instagram. She said she was sorry for vanishing and is taking a break and is clearing her head for personal reasons. That was it

More red flags than a CCP parade.

YellowLead

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey thanks for your message and sorry to hear it happened to you as well. As you say time is a great healer.

Basically she found out I unmatched her on Instagram. She said she was sorry for vanishing and is taking a break and is clearing her head for personal reasons. That was it

She might just be weak (not having the balls/respect to tell you that in the first place) rather than a game player. Either way - if it happened once it could happen again so you are right not to re-engage.

At least it probably accelerated the closure for you.

Johnnytractors

Jafin wrote: »

Just wanted to highlight this part in particular because I've been there myself a couple of years ago. In my case the fella I went out with a few times got back with his ex and didn't tell me, just cut contact with me completely. I figured out what had happened after a couple of days, but that didn't make it any easier. I was the same as you, fell a bit too hard too fast and kept thinking I'd give him a second chance if he came back etc. I was quite angry for a while and it was keeping me up at night thinking about it, but as they say time heals all wounds and I got over it and learned from the experience.

Given how long the thread already is (I haven't read it all) I'm sure tons of people have said this already but just do your best to try and forget about the whole situation and move on. It will take time, especially if you felt there was a genuine connection/spark there, but it will happen. It's par for the course these days unfortunately.

Edit: Whoops, just read on the previous page that you said you have moved on, but that she has texted you in the meantime. Very curious, like others, to know what she said, unless you want to keep it private.

Hey thanks for your message and sorry to hear it happened to you as well. As you say time is a great healer.

Basically she found out I unmatched her on Instagram. She said she was sorry for vanishing and is taking a break and is clearing her head for personal reasons. That was it

Jafin

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

Ah stop. All this talk is reminding me of how I only got about 3 loves on Bebo when everyone else had hundreds/thousands.

Ah man, you should have shaken up your top 16 to make people jealous so they'd give you more luv.

JeffreyEpspeen

Jafin wrote: »

The dirtiest it got was when people started saying stuff like "18/Yes Please/Your bed "

Ah stop. All this talk is reminding me of how I only got about 3 loves on Bebo when everyone else had hundreds/thousands.

partyguinness

Deleted User wrote: »

Yahoo Chat! I miss the 90s.

Ah yes...that brings me back to circa 98/99. Can't believe Yahoo! still exists TBH.

Jafin

YellowLead wrote: »

Thanks! Disappointed - thought it was going to be dirty...

The dirtiest it got was when people started saying stuff like "18/Yes Please/Your bed

JeffreyEpspeen

YellowLead wrote: »

Wtf is ASL?

Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. It's what the Americans call Motor Neurone Disease.

[Deleted User]

Jafin wrote: »

Age/Sex/Location. It used to be what you'd ask someone in a chat room back in the late 90s/early 00s.

Yahoo Chat! I miss the 90s.

Feisar

partyguinness wrote: »

With this online dating lark that is why have it is important to have at 3-4 on the go. You have to factor in losses.

Yea you'd want to have a few on the go so that a "ghost" hardly registers. But then one becomes part of the problem.

YellowLead

Jafin wrote: »

Age/Sex/Location. It used to be what you'd ask someone in a chat room back in the late 90s/early 00s.

Thanks! Disappointed - thought it was going to be dirty...

Jafin

YellowLead wrote: »

Wtf is ASL?

Age/Sex/Location. It used to be what you'd ask someone in a chat room back in the late 90s/early 00s.

YellowLead

Jafin wrote: »

Jesus I haven't heard that in about 20 years. :P

Wtf is ASL?

YellowLead

Bit odd that she only reached out after he unfollowed her on instagram...