Homelander wrote: » You actually think these were out of the blue messages with zero foundation, from your partners good friends fiancee? Sounds to me that while he didn't cheat on you, he most certainly was ****ing around with his friends fiancee at some stage and now he's deeply embarrassed by it and wants it to go away.
elfy4eva wrote: » Jesus that certainly escalated. I don't think you need anyone here to tell you to run a mile now.
Notimeforthat wrote: » I just told him if he's genuinely remorseful he'll go and live a better life and get the professional help he needs. I can't change him or help him
YellowLead wrote: » This. Remember that you said this and be strong and don’t get sucked back in. The amount of people who eventually leave people like this after years of crap and lament they didn’t do it sooner is unreal. Only he can save himself. If you stay, you just enable and end up getting dragged down with him. You can do it. It’s all been tough, so a bit of self care and even counselling could be what is needed for you.
bitofabind wrote: » From "no boundaries with a female friend" to drug user, violent, emotional abuser in one fell swoop. I really hope you're not living with this guy already? If you do, get out of there and don't look back. Regardless, it's time to walk away swiftly and cut all contact. If he threatens suicide again, tell him you're going to call the police and leave it at that. This is emotional manipulation and his issues are not yours to fix. Guaranteed trying to is going to bring a sh1tstorm of pain and misery into your life.
Big Bag of Chips wrote: » I had someone threaten suicide a while ago. I wasn't in the house with them. I was 95% sure I was being manipulated but couldn't be sure. I dialled 999 and asked for the guards. Explained what was happening and was told they'd send a car round. About an hour later I got an abusive text for sending the guards! Who did I think I was? What the fk did I think I was doing? etc etc The next day while I was with them they told me they had taken an overdose.. I picked up my phone to ring an ambulance and suddenly they had a miraculous recovery. I told them I was not qualified to deal with them if they were considering or indeed HAD attempted suicide. So every time they told me they were making an attempt on their own life I would contact the professionals to go to them instead. That was the last I ever heard of suicide attempts, and the person is still alive.. Anytime he contacts you, contact the guards. Because to be honest, and maybe a little crude, if he does actually take his own life, you don't want to be the one to walk in first. Let the professionals deal with it.
Hannibal_Smith wrote: » Mod Note OP if you are seriously concerned there are numbers abd places he can turn to. You might even like to talk to someone about steps you can be taking at the moment. There are some useful numbers in this thread and you might consider contacting someone there to get advice on how best to move forward here. All the best with it HS
Big Bag of Chips wrote: » It's not clear from your posts, have you and he broken up? Do his family know about the suicide attempt that you found him? If so contact them today, tell them what he is saying now and let them deal with it. It really is not your responsibility. You are not qualified to help him through this. This is an awful lot of drama for a very young relationship. If you are still going out with him maybe make contact with Aware or Pieta House and get their advice. If he won't engage though, there is little you can do. And if you wouldn't stay with him if he wasn't in this frame of mind (I mean if you'd be considering breaking up with him because of recent events) then don't stay with him because of his frame of mind. That's awarding his manipulation and it will never get better for you. I think you are out of your depth here. I think this relationship is not good for you. Maybe he needs to not be in a relationship at the moment and work on his own demons. Maybe cheating on his bestfriend weighs heavy on his mind? But, whatever is going on, I think you don't need to be part of it. It's too complicated and you do not want to take responsibility for him. It is too much for one person. Especially one with your history. It is OK to be selfish. It is OK to walk away admitting you are not equipped to deal with it. He is ultimately responsible for his own choices. You don't know him long enough, or well enough to be the one responsible for him. You don't live with him. You're not going to be able to monitor him. Hand him back to his family and don't look back.
Jequ0n wrote: » Did he know about your past experiences (the phone call and the jump) prior to his bath stunt? I’m not saying this is what he is doing, but it’s obviously a convenient means to get to you. Think about it and check it there are other pressure points he might be triggering. Could be nothing but it you notice more parallels you might have to shield yourself differently.
YellowLead wrote: » If you are not together anymore you need to cut him out of your life fully - no more telling him to do this or that or listening to him saying he will do this or that. It’s the only way to start your own recovery and healing, away from him.
Notimeforthat wrote: » Thanks for that. I've asked him 100 times to go and see someone. I even got numbers of people he could talk to. I'm sick of telling him there's absolutely no shame in speaking to someone. He know's i've had counselling myself.
Hannibal_Smith wrote: » Well you can only suggest he make contact, the decision to actually take the step is his. What I mean about you contacting someone is to talk to someone who can help you through breaking away from the relationship. Its a tough step to be making on your own and its something you must feel that he is very much in control of while he's holding something so serious over you. A call to someone who would have experience in dealing with these situations may be helpful.
Potatoeman wrote: » On top of the issues you mentioned I’d say this guy is a narcissist. The way his friend turned on you would make me question what he’s been saying to them. It sounds like he complains to them about you but doesn’t mention his own faults and he’s always the victim. Also he tried to kill himself in a house full of people so was likely to be found before he died.
