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Ghosted after a few good dates

Johnnytractors

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

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[Deleted User]

murpho999 wrote: »

Why do people distinguish "online-dating"?

When you meet someone online and then meet them a few times then you are dating them and not online dating and I don't see then how things are any different to couples who meet through other methods.

Because with online dating they have a list of alternative options.

YellowLead

murpho999 wrote: »

Why do people distinguish "online-dating"?

When you meet someone online and then meet them a few times then you are dating them and not online dating and I don't see then how things are any different to couples who meet through other methods.

Because generally those online dating are dating a few at once and browsing and swiping away. If you are meeting people organically then it’s more likely to be one at a time.
Not saying it’s right or wrong, that’s just how it is often (not with everybody)

Fandymo

The DayDream wrote: »

In fairness that's not what he really was saying as he was talking about the apps rather than IRL. In the apps it's exactly like he said with girls 'dating up' having more choice etc. It's totally different to real life IME (pulling power not so bad in real life, apps I barely get a response most times even with women who matched.)

On the apps it's the opposite of what you say in the last paragraph. It's the women who are expecting George Clooney or Ryan Gosling to swipe on them. Lots of bitter well past their prime single mothers complaining there are no good men, no real men, too many creeps, long checklists of what they think they should be getting in a partner, etc.

OP don't try and contact her any more, in fact just block her right back and move on. Why are you even thinking 'oh I'd let her back into my life.' Women don't block dudes they still want in their life, it's done.

Thats the funniest thing on online dating. Looking for a "real man" while wearing a stone of make-up, fake eyelashes, fake nails, lips plumped up, dyed hair, etc,

Mimon

murpho999 wrote: »

Why do people distinguish "online-dating"?

When you meet someone online and then meet them a few times then you are dating them and not online dating and I don't see then how things are any different to couples who meet through other methods.

When I dabbled a good few years ago when I became single I naively thought it was a means to arrange to meet up in person. I did not realise that you were expected to virtually talk ****e for weeks on end before someone would meet yeh.

Met a couple of foreign women in real life fairly quickly but the Irish women seemed to want you to be all singing all dancing in the virtual world first.

Definitely wasn't for me.

California Dreamer

murpho999 wrote: »

Go to control panel and change number of posts per page.

I'm on page 5 for this thread not 14.:cool:

Regardless, the previous poster was basically coming out and saying how wrong the OP was etc etc. I think that was well covered and there is no need to hit the man with a bigger stick when he already down. Reading the previous pages would have shown that.

bitofabind

Johnnytractors wrote: »

To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

Someone treats you like a piece of dirt on their shoe and you're leaving the door open to them to mess you about again? Why?

Someone seemed decent, turned out to be a gobshyte. The End. That's a rite of passage in the online world, the trick is to like yourself enough to not put up with childish, sh1tty behaviour when you encounter it. Poor woman doesn't even have the basic communications skills to send a "lovely to meet you, but" text and instead has decided that pretending you don't exist is the best way of handling this. That's a woman-child. Well rid.

YellowLead

To be fair I think OP has realised and moved on now if you read his more recent posts.

JeffreyEpspeen

Going by the way Irish women talk in American accents now, I'd just assume they got the idea of ghosting from Sex and the City or Instagram or something.

Strumms

The whole ghosting thing... was just plain old just ‘ignoring’ not good enough ?

Marco23d

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

You might not realise it but most young women these days have multiple sexual partners at any given time.

She probably didn't get on with you as much as the other guys she talks to so you just got forgotten about.

YellowLead

Strumms wrote: »

The whole ghosting thing... was just plain old just ‘ignoring’ not good enough ?

Ghosting is when somebody suddenly stops answering communications with zero explanation - it is exactly ignoring.
Blocking is different.

Fandymo

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hey you are right. Never had I had a one night stand. I have more respect for women so I do. Maybe it’s the fact I have 7 sisters and I would hate if they got abused or used... I dunno

You don't think women want to have one night stands?

Here's a secret: Women like sex too, and sometimes just want a ride.

sporina

YellowLead wrote: »

Ghosting is when somebody suddenly stops answering communications with zero explanation - it is exactly ignoring.
Blocking is different.

she blocked him on whatsapp and snap.. but not insta and something else.. so its ghosting and ignoring

YellowLead

sporina wrote: »

she blocked him on whatsapp and snap.. but not insta and something else.. so its ghosting and ignoring

How are ghosting and ignoring different things? Ghosting is ignoring.

JeffreyEpspeen

Fandymo wrote: »

You don't think women want to have one night stands?

Here's a secret: Women like sex too, and sometimes just want a ride.

Not something I would brag about, admit to, or wear as a badge of pride.

NSFW

https://worldstar.com/video.php?v=wshh63LVlx3f73051I01

YellowLead

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

Not something I would brag about, admit to, or wear as a badge of pride.

https://worldstar.com/video.php?v=wshh63LVlx3f73051I01

Troll....

JeffreyEpspeen

YellowLead wrote: »

Troll....

Lighten up. It's a stupid thread to begin with. We're not talking about the Hadron Collider or the Armenian Genocide FFS.

MyLove4Satan

Johnnytractors wrote: »

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

The world we live in today created by social media. A person is now just a 'contact' for so many now. ADD/DELETE/BLOCK.

You are the victim of the rotten state of humanity within this current age. Don't beat yourself up over it.

YellowLead

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

Lighten up. It's a stupid thread to begin with. We're not talking about the Hadron Collider or the Armenian Genocide FFS.

Haha true! Sorry all

Johnnytractors

YellowLead wrote: »

To be fair I think OP has realised and moved on now if you read his more recent posts.

Hi thanks for your message. Actually have moved on so I have. In the last hour she has texted me but I am ignoring her. Lesson learnt not to give her a second chance

Ubbquittious

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi thanks for your message. Actually have moved on so I have. In the last hour she has texted me but I am ignoring her. Lesson learnt not to give her a second chance

Really? What excuse did she have? I wonder how much effort she put into thinking of it. Did she hop on her brother's trawler that had a big electrical problem 50nm offshore, rendering all communication equipment useless?

YellowLead

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi thanks for your message. Actually have moved on so I have. In the last hour she has texted me but I am ignoring her. Lesson learnt not to give her a second chance

Good for you!

I’m sure it doesn’t matter what excuse she gave in the end, I assume there was one. That will teach her a lesson and let her know that not all men are puppies waiting to be walked all over.

JeffreyEpspeen

Johnnytractors wrote: »

Hi thanks for your message. Actually have moved on so I have. In the last hour she has texted me but I am ignoring her. Lesson learnt not to give her a second chance

I've read something remarkably similar to your story on a different forum. It sounds like she's playing games.

IDK what age you are, and in fairness, people shouldn't be meeting on Tinder during a pandemic where millions are dying, but if you're older than 18, it's probably best to avoid women who behave like this.

partyguinness

With this online dating lark that is why have it is important to have at 3-4 on the go. You have to factor in losses.

Jequ0n

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

I've read something remarkably similar to your story on a different forum. It sounds like she's playing games.

IDK what age you are, and in fairness, people shouldn't be meeting on Tinder during a pandemic where millions are dying, but if you're older than 18, it's probably best to avoid women who behave like this.

What does being over 18 have to do with it?

MayoSalmon

JeffreyEpspeen wrote: »

I've read something remarkably similar to your story on a different forum. It sounds like she's playing games.

IDK what age you are, and in fairness, people shouldn't be meeting on Tinder during a pandemic where millions are dying, but if you're older than 18, it's probably best to avoid women who behave like this.

:D:D:D

[Deleted User]

murpho999 wrote: »

Why do people distinguish "online-dating"?

When you meet someone online and then meet them a few times then you are dating them and not online dating and I don't see then how things are any different to couples who meet through other methods.

Except women tend to have more options I suppose. In this case I bet she was dating non exclusively and found another guy.

take everything

JoChervil wrote: »

Or she just wants followers. After 10,000 you can earn proper money.

Just make an experiment. Unfollow her on IG. If she will be back, it will mean that she cared only about it.

Can't fathom why someone would still follow her Instagram after her behaviour.
I presume he's not following her.

YellowLead

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Except women tend to have more options I suppose. In this case I bet she was dating non exclusively and found another guy.

Ah both genders do this!
My guess is you are correct she connected with somebody else she liked more and when that guy shied away/dropped her she came crawling back to OP.
Fair enough if she had just gone a bit quiet - but to block somebody with no explanation or goodbye and then sail right back - unbelievable

Jafin

Johnnytractors wrote: »

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

Just wanted to highlight this part in particular because I've been there myself a couple of years ago. In my case the fella I went out with a few times got back with his ex and didn't tell me, just cut contact with me completely. I figured out what had happened after a couple of days, but that didn't make it any easier. I was the same as you, fell a bit too hard too fast and kept thinking I'd give him a second chance if he came back etc. I was quite angry for a while and it was keeping me up at night thinking about it, but as they say time heals all wounds and I got over it and learned from the experience.

Given how long the thread already is (I haven't read it all) I'm sure tons of people have said this already but just do your best to try and forget about the whole situation and move on. It will take time, especially if you felt there was a genuine connection/spark there, but it will happen. It's par for the course these days unfortunately.

Edit: Whoops, just read on the previous page that you said you have moved on, but that she has texted you in the meantime. Very curious, like others, to know what she said, unless you want to keep it private.