Johnnytractors wrote: » Thanks for your reply. I know what you mean alright but I do think everyone deserves a second chance if if they **** you around.
Hector Savage wrote: » Question OP, you say you had a great time with her before ? were you intimate or were you too much of a 'gentleman' and nothing happened ? Sometimes people lose patience if there is no action - sorry to be so blunt...
Johnnytractors wrote: » Thanks for your reply. I know what you mean alright but I do think everyone deserves a second chance if if they **** you around. I was chatting to a few myself and I thought we clicked together hence why I went with this one then the others. I just told the others that I didn’t feel a spark there so sorry I won’t be taking this any further
Wallet Inspector wrote: » It's awful OP - you're not alone. I've been there too (I'm female, been ghosted by men) - many of us have. You wrack your brains trying to figure it out - especially when things were going so well. How could there be such a sudden turnaround? Unfortunately there just can be - their circumstances have changed. With guys it can be because you put out or didn't put out. With women it might be that too - or they're suddenly freaked out by things seemingly moving fast. You have to try not to continue analysing it further though - you're only tormenting yourself. This is the only way to stop it getting to you. Ghosting really is not just a woman thing.
Mrs OBumble wrote: » I cannot think of a better place for the OP to have posted. This is the only forum where people can respond freely instead of oozing faux Compassion.
Hammer89 wrote: » Here's your problem OP: The country is locked down and therefore there's quite a lot of limitations when it comes to traditional first date options. A walk along the pier is nice and so is a hike of some description - I don't know where you brought her quite honestly - but if your dates happened during the day then that, combined with the fact you did something outdoorsy right off the bat, doesn't lay the foundations for much romanticism I don't think. I think after both of your dates, she probably started viewing you as a friend more than a potential partner. There's two pieces of good news though. 1) She didn't block you on every possible platform, which means she wants you to have a way to get in touch. It wasn't an oversight that you're not blocked on IG. 2) When the country opens back up, I think she might agree to go on a real date, but - and this is key - only if you leave her alone from now until then. Don't message her until the second or third week of lifted restrictions. Good luck.
[Deleted User] wrote: » Hey OP, I'd suggest not spending more than a few days or maybe a week chatting before trying to arrange a meetup. That way you won't be too emotionally invested if it happens again. The most honest response I ever had online was along the lines of "Can we just meet up? I don't want to faff about for two weeks and then find out I don't fancy you?" She didn't:-) Anyway, best of luck.
Hammer89 wrote: » 1) She didn't block you on every possible platform, which means she wants you to have a way to get in touch. It wasn't an oversight that you're not blocked on IG.
Ronaldinho wrote: » @OP How intimate did ye get over those 3 dates? Because if you didn't make a move on her that's probably the best explanation. Sounds like you fell for her. In future, don't put girls up on a pedestal - no good will come of it. Falling for someone elicits the same physiological response as heroin. Which is grand, if it lasts. In a few weeks the stress/thinking about her will pass. You said ye were texting night and day. Have you nothing better to be doing than texting someone you just met? Job/hobbies etc. Don't make yourself so available. Delete her number and don't try to make contact again.
Johnnytractors wrote: » Thanks for your reply. We just clicked and had a a lot in common, well that’s what I thought anyway. She was working from home and I’m self employed. She came from a farming family and I’m a tillage farmer myself. I work for myself so it’s grand and can do my own thing really. When I say texting, I was in home most nights at 7 o clock and we text away until ten or 11 until one of us would fall asleep then. She would text me then around 7 but I would be up most mornings at 6 anyway so o would text her once she texts me
Wallet Inspector wrote: » but I was just arguing against the claim that women on dating apps have "all" the power.
Jequ0n wrote: » Waited too long to meet up = hesitation, doesn’t give her the impression he is head over heels. You want to swoop in early and make her think she is the best thing since sliced bread and also secure (in cases where there is baggage). OP missed his chance to apply emotional bonding traps
Mimon wrote: » Unless she had a genuine reason for cutting off contact I wouldn't entertain having anything to do with her in future. She will treat you like a doormat as she got away with horrible behaviour and you are willing to go back for more.
Tell me how wrote: » I always think there's something particular going on when people see any compassion by others as something they are inclined to be skeptical about by default. My guess is they lack it themselves so can't imagine anyone else would have it.
Johnnytractors wrote: » Thanks for your reply and sorry to hear you have been ghosted in the past. Something happened but I would love to know what? I have got burnt in the past and I don’t want it to happen me the future again. Hope you are doing well after it happened to you
raclle wrote: » Of course they do. Women get far more likes than men and thus can be more picky which is not a bad thing of course. The majority of matches don't respond so there's a slim chance a guy will end up even getting a date
dxhound2005 wrote: » I took a look at this thread earlier when it was just one page. I says to myself poor Johnny is so traumatised he will not be able to make any more contributions to his own thread. And so it has proved.
YellowLead wrote: » Am I the only one who thinks using xxx in messages after only meeting 3 times is a bit red flaggy? That would give me ‘the ick’ (as much as I hate that phrase). People trying to get intimate too soon freak me out. I know that was her OP and not you as far as I recall but I’d be wary of that. Or maybe I’m an oddball and that’s the norm!
YellowLead wrote: » It was a block - not even a plain old not bothering to reply. So how could there be a genuine reason!
Leg End Reject wrote: » I'm going to post this but don't want you to reply, just think about it. Are you inexperienced or have you been single for a long time? Do you live alone? Farming is solitary by nature and all our social outlets are restricted. I think you've gotten too invested in this woman, and far too soon. You were texting a lot, but very few in person meet ups. She obviously didn't feel the same way. Her way of cutting ties was awful, but you shouldn't feel this upset after a few dates. Maybe take a break from online dating and work on your self esteem, you need to stop letting others decide your worth. You'll only sell yourself short.
The DayDream wrote: » That's way too early and often for someone you just met and a lot of women hate it when a fella is overly keen at the start and will lose interest if you're available to text morning noon and night. You sound like a really nice guy which is great but unfortunately you're better off just giving off a 'whatever, I can take you or leave you' attitude for the first while and let a woman find out how nice you are later on. If they think you're smitten straight away they start thinking they can do better and move on to the next fella who they aren't sure they can get. Not saying women are a hive mind or all like that but in my experience a lot of women who I was really into and made it clear, they dropped me while the ones I played it a lot cooler with stuck around. You don't have to be mean or a jerk to keep it a bit mysterious.
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