xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » Thank you for your kind message. I'm also sorry to hear you also experienced a loss. It's utterly devastating. Yes I was expecting to be fine but I'm absolutely not, I retuned to work this week and it has been quite turbulent. Physically I'm doing okay but I'm still navigating my way through the mental pain. It is so reassuring to know I'm not the only one who struggled post miscarriage. I assumed I'd want to try straight away but I think my mental health is my priority. I'm blessed with a child already and maybe thats our family complete. Who knows
xzanti wrote: » So sorry for your loss. I had a similar experience to you. Missed miscarriage at 10 weeks. Development had stopped around the 6 week mark. Very cruel thing to have happen. I was convinced my baby was growing. I was looking up the measurements each week of what size s/he was. Worst feeling of helplessness in the world when your given that awful news. And the waiting for scans and clarification feels endless Took me a long long time to feel 'normal' again. Going back to work was torture. I remember many days of fighting back tears until lunch time and then driving away to cry in peace. That was after a week off to recover from the initial shock and pain. Don't try to rush yourself. You are grieving a deep loss. Give yourself time and be kind to yourself.
xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » I finally miscarried at 12+1. Medically managed, decided against surgical management. It was just easier to get it done with ASAP. Should I be unlucky to be in the same situation again I will opt for the ERPC. The miso pills are awful. I read a lot and tried to prepare, but nothing could have prepared me. I felt like I was consciously ending my own pregnancy (ridiculous, I know). I just hope my follow up scan shows that it’s completed. I visited my GP, she was fantastic and a wealth of knowledge. She really took the time to let me get it all off my chest. Thank you so much to everyone on this thread, it’s been a much lengthier experience than I expected but this has provided great support.
Bambinoonboard wrote: » Hi Ginny, Of course you are in the pits of anger and you have every right to. It's an unfair and painful experience. The mental pain is of course far greater than the physical. Those comments are also thoughtless and would make bloody boil. Oh the "whatever happens, happens for a reason" craic - that's a familiar one!! Shocking. Good on you been so informed on the scientific reasons etc. Yes, it probably is chromosomal. Síle Seoige's doc - I meant to watch it myself. Thanks for the recommendation. If you have questions and concerns re trying again and mental health, I certainly don't see that as wasted resource at all. Make the appointment if it feels right for you. x
xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » Thank you. Strangely enough yesterday evening I thought it was starting naturally. I was cramping quite badly and spotting, but today nothing except dull aching cramps. Maybe its just the effects of 3 internal scans in 3 days. Who knows! I'm still in the pits of anger with body, firstly for failing to grow this little one, and also for not acknowledging that the little heart has stopped. Personally I'd be happier for a natural end, but I've also an almost 4 year old who follows me around most of the day, I can't get my partner to stay off work, I think his students have suffered enough this year. I can't believe the comments regarding these early losses, quite thoughtless! I've had 'aren't you lucky its now and not in 6 months', and the everything happens for a reason speil!! I know the statistics, I know that its probably most likely chromosomal, I'm a scientific minded person and have read numerous papers on first trimester loss. But none of that makes me feel any better, it is devastating. I watched the Síle Seoige's documentary over the weekend on TG4, really recommend it. I hope people start to talk more. Also my phone call from the locum GP was just a formality to allow them to issue a medical cert. I had so many questions which I will ask next week in the hospital. Do any of you recommend actually seeing a GP afterwards? I have questions about trying again (not sure when) and just general mental health queries. I don't visit the doctor too often but do have a GP I feel I can speak to, its just difficult to get an appointment and I don't want to feel like I'm wasting resources.
Antares35 wrote: » Hi Ginny Hope you are doing ok. I had a missed MC a little over two years ago. The baby had passed away at 7 weeks but it was only when I went for a 10 week scan that I found out. She (I always felt in my heart that my first baby was a girl), had stopped growing. I attended the rotunda. They sent me home for the MC to happen naturally. I don't know if they gave me a choice. I don't recall it but it's all a bit hazy. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that if you have any questions about the natural MC as opposed to medical management, you can pm me and I will be happy to share my experience if it helps you to know what to maybe expect. Entirely up to you of course just putting it out there. I'm really sorry again. I remember an aunt afterwards when we were discussing it, she kept insisting on refering to it "the loss of the fetus". I snapped at her because for is it's a baby from day one, and I hate that sort of cold terminology people use when someone has suffered a loss. I'm still annoyed with her about it to this day! Edit just to say I wasn't advocating for natural MC, just in case it happens in the interim.
xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » Thank you so much. I mean that so much. My appointment went okay yesterday. The midwives in the EPUs are saints. They want me to wait another week before intervention, she thinks from the scan it could be imminent. Regardless I’ve to return next week. They have assured me the choice will be mine with regards to a D&C or tablets. I’d say I came across as the coldest person they have met. I genuinely feel numb. I can’t cry anymore, and I absolutely feel angry. At myself, at people making comments, at people avoiding me, at my doctor who told me not to worry!! All natural of course! I also rang my GP to get signed off work for the week! She’s on leave so they want me to do a phone consultation with a locum doctor which I see as a waste of time. Yes I’ve lots of questions but I’m pretty sure most can’t be answered.
Bambinoonboard wrote: » Ginny, I feel so sad for you reading your posts. Yes, you're entirely right, it sure is an awful lonely, empty and ultimately heartbreaking feeling. A loss is a loss, no matter ho big or small and the effect it has can be heartbreaking. The very best of luck with availing of a D&C as well as your exams. Is there any way they can be resat or repeated in the summer!? In time, when it feels the right time for you, maybe you can do something something to mark your baby's loss. If you ever need to talk or advice, please PM me. I have experienced at the time when one or two family/ friend members who hadn't yet children. It was very difficult as I felt no one quite understood and one very close friend labelled it "only a missed miscarriage and not a real baby." I've never forgotten it it hence my warrior typing!!! It, along with other awful comments have changed my relationship entirely with the girl to be honest as well. I often wonder was it just being to being misinformed even though it felt like the world was out to get me at my most vulnerable point in life. The point I'm trying to make is, it can be extremely difficult to comprehend somebody's loss if one hasn't personally experienced it, however that does not excuse the impact behaviours or comments about it to you may be delivered. I'm not saying this will happen at all - and I hope it doesn't and that you have supportive and compassionate family and friends - but just a little heads up that you are entitled to feel enraged/angry and peed off at - it's all part of grief - and you're not going mad. If you ever need to chat please PM me. In time, I hope you can mark your babies loss somehow, should that be something you would like to do. Take care of yourself for now and remember now is the time to think of number one. Don't be a marytr. Look after yourself.
xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » Missed miscarriage confirmed at 10w+4. I just said I’d update because when I was Googling & reading threads I found a lot of them had no follow up. I wish the outcome was different.
xalot wrote: » Thanks, I got pregnant straight after the D&C and am 17 weeks now so things are looking up. Keeping everything crossed for you, I know the wait is torture. If you have any specific queries feel free to private message me. I had a friend who'd been through something similar and her advice was invaluable at the time.
xalot wrote: » Just wanted to say that I went through this in October, I went for a follow up scan a week later and there had been very little growth so the pregnancy wasn't viable. It was so difficult as I had morning sickness and everything, felt like my body was tricking me. My consultant explained that sometimes the cells multiply so quickly that they skip chromosomes and so the baby doesn't develop as it should. I found comfort in the fact that it wasn't something I had done wrong and I would much rather go through the loss at 8 weeks than have a very difficult decision at 20 weeks. I hope that your dates are just a little off and everything works out for you.
xXx-Ginny-xXx wrote: » Thank you so much for your advice. I appreciate it. I’m powering on with work & assignments until the next scan, but I will absolutely take time out should things not work out in our favour. I wouldn’t want to compromise my mental or physical health. Thankfully I work in an place where absence is easily covered and they are fairly considerate.
Bambinoonboard wrote: » To both Ginny and OP, I am so sorry to hear you're going through this waiting game. Ginny, I experienced the same in the past. We had to wait 2 weeks to return for a 2nd scan. As shesty said, the stress is real. I really feel for both you and the OP, and partner (s) of course too upon reading this. I'm now currently 6 weeks pregnant and waiting for our early pregnancy scan this Thursday. Please, take my one little tuppence worth of advice and take the time off work if at all possible. In the past I didn't. It impacted hugely on my health and day to day for months afterwards in the past. I had just started a new job and was asked would be back in the following day after D&C which I agreed to. The last thing I wish to do is scaremonger, but please think of you. Nows not the time to people please, as we love to do Ireland for thfear of causing offense. I hope this doesn't come across the wrong way. Take care of yourself and best of luck over the coming days. As hard as it may be, try and do whatever it takes to distract. The worst part about it is the continued discomforting symptoms you're experiencing. Please God, your next scans will bring good news.
